Last week, I wrote about Living On The Fringe. At then end of that post, I realized I was back where I started, decades ago. This has happened to me again but this realization is much deeper and takes me even further back.
Besides my own forum, there is another board I write on, periodically. I haven’t posted there in awhile but I went back yesterday to update the group.
I wrote about coming to a point of separation. I’ve invested a tremendous amount of time and energy over the last year, trying to get someone, anyone, to help me with a profound problem. I don’t regret this for a number of reasons, but a times comes when you have to walk away…alone. It doesn’t matter how bad you want someone to accompany you, if you see it’s not going to happen, then you’ve got to realize it.
If you have Libra, like I do, this is very difficult. I simply don’t want to do things alone! But I’ve come to this point. I’m now on my own, feeling that the help I need is AHEAD of me. If I don’t move out, I can’t meet it.
This break occurred some weeks ago but last night I made the tie..
When I was a kid, I really wanted to leave home. I started trying to do this when I was about ten years old. I did leave home with my sister for a summer when I was thirteen; she was fifteen.
Unfortunately, we had to go home. I continued to want to leave home, badly. I did not want to go alone so I did everything I possibly could to convince her to go with me. I’m not kidding. I begged, I pleaded, I tried to sell her on the idea with my entire heart and soul, but she was simply not going to do it.
In the end, I accepted this. I left home, alone, when I was fifteen years old.
I clearly see the correlation between then and now. I’m wondering if that past predicts this future. I hate to say this. I have Libra, right? I like to be together with people. I like agreement. But when I made that split as a teen, it was permanent. It wasn’t permanent because I wanted it to be or because I was stubborn. I just had a path I had to walk and it took me, away.
I am afraid this is going to happen again. But when you realize something like this, it’s a great help on a deep level. I have a number of people telling me I am coping extremely well; extraordinarily well. The reason is because I have done this before.
It’s weird. People think they are good at something because of a “past life”. You may be good at something because of this life, but you’ve just not made the tie.
Mercury is conjunct Jupiter in Scorpio. This is a good time to seek this type of insight.