Repeating Themes In Your Life

Last week, I wrote about Living On The Fringe.  At then end of that post, I realized I was back where I started, decades ago. This has happened to me again but this realization is much deeper and takes me even further back.

Besides my own forum, there is another board I write on, periodically. I haven’t posted there in awhile but I went back yesterday to update the group.

I wrote about coming to a point of separation. I’ve invested a tremendous amount of time and energy over the last year, trying to get someone, anyone, to help me with a profound problem. I don’t regret this for a number of reasons, but a times comes when you have to walk away…alone. It doesn’t matter how bad you want someone to accompany you, if you see it’s not going to happen, then you’ve got to realize it.

If you have Libra, like I do, this is very difficult.  I simply don’t want to do things alone! But I’ve come to this point. I’m now on my own, feeling that the help I need is AHEAD of me. If I don’t move out, I can’t meet it.

This break occurred some weeks ago but last night I made the tie..

When I was a kid, I really wanted to leave home. I started trying to do this when I was about ten years old. I did leave home with my sister for a summer when I was thirteen; she was fifteen.

Unfortunately, we had to go home. I continued to want to leave home, badly. I did not want to go alone so I did everything I possibly could to convince her to go with me.  I’m not kidding. I begged, I pleaded, I tried to sell her on the idea with my entire heart and soul, but she was simply not going to do it.

In the end, I accepted this. I left home, alone, when I was fifteen years old.

I clearly see the correlation between then and now. I’m wondering if that past predicts this future. I hate to say this. I have Libra, right? I like to be together with people. I like agreement.  But when I made that split as a teen, it was permanent.  It wasn’t permanent because I wanted it to be or because I was stubborn. I just had a path I had to walk and it took me, away.

I am afraid this is going to happen again. But when you realize something like this, it’s a great help on a deep level. I have a number of people telling me I am coping extremely well; extraordinarily well.  The reason is because I have done this before.

It’s weird. People think they are good at something because of a “past life”. You may be good at something because of this life, but you’ve just not made the tie.

Mercury is conjunct Jupiter in Scorpio. This is a good time to seek this type of insight.

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Repeating Themes In Your Life — 35 Comments

  1. 2017 is a turning point for many now who have come this far from the 20th Century and it is a decade ending in two years as today is a good day to say looking back and soon going forward one more time…take care all on this next journey.

  2. I’ve always heard throughout my life that when. There is a circumstance or situation that keeps repeating its self then there must be some lesion in the event that must always be remembered and never ever forgotten. I pray that all will be well soon for your.

  3. Yup, as a Cancer rising, SN Cancer, Jupiter/Uranus Conjunct in Cancer I can resonate with this post (of course in my case emotions are tied up with the need of others). I tried so many times to separate from my family with distance and no matter how far I traveled, it seemed I always needed to return for their financial support. But I did leave emotionally, at a cost to disengaging from everyone emotionally. I find myself once again at a impending crossroads. Thank you Elsa for the reminder I have done this before and can navigate the terrain with the wisdom that comes with years of life experiences.

  4. Yes, I can relate!i am in the process of deleting,for good,the theme i came to overcome in this life!!This is my 2nd go around with is particular thems. This time the amputation, excavation is much deeper and a more through process because i am done with this crap and don’t plan on dealing with it again!

  5. Elsa, you’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever come across, if not, THE most interesting, because I can’t think of anyone more interesting right now. Anyway, just thought I’d say that.

  6. “I clearly see the correlation between then and now. I’m wondering if that past predicts this future. I hate to say this. I have Libra, right? I like to be together with people. I like agreement. But when I made that split as a teen, it was permanent. It wasn’t permanent because I wanted it to be or because I was stubborn. I just had a path I had to walk and it took me, away.” – Elsa
    I am at a very similar point in my life, too. My Libra is Neptune-flavored, Neptune in the 9th House of philosophy/life view. I have a longing for escaping to, or escaping from. I left home at 24 years of age to escape, realizing even then I wasn’t sure what I would find but knew I had to leave. In those 46 years I have moved back and then away (to the same place!) many times. Each time I learn a little or a lot more about whether that longing fits with my reality. This summer, once again we made plans to move back home. We included people who have known us over the decades in our plans; this was different because mostly we/I flew solo not asking for approval or much help. What’s surfacing at this point, especially with the content of your Saturn transiting Capricorn Workshop, is coming to terms with this long-rooted longing and conflicting set of goals … the repeating theme in my life; should I go or should I stay?

    This story is not over yet, but, the Jupiter conjunct Mercury is in Scorpio, and my scorpio solar return is a month again. Could be quite the birthday gift to receive and accept the deep insight.

    • I hear you, Mokihana! I have an 8H Libra Sun and Mercury. My 3 degree Neptune/Jupiter conjunction is in my Scorpio-ruled 9H. My Jupiter Return is next week – yay!! Fresh starts and new beginnings. I am in the process of selling my old house (divorce, down sizing) and just closed on a new house this week. My old house is my last “child” and the last attachment to my “old” life. I am excited about what lies ahead with astrology being a big part of it!

  7. I have a Libra moon and I’m feeling the same way. Been separated from my husband for just a little over a year been dating someone very nice however he wasn’t willing to give me 100% so I broke ties but now he’s willing to give me a 100^. However now my husband has returned and wants to work things out so do I return to the past or move forward with this other person who really didn’t get until now or ever truly get me and my 100% I have to the relationship? Having Libra in my chart is never an easy balance!!!

  8. I’m sorry, Elsa. That sounds tough. Sounds…solo.

    I have a repeating pattern–people die. My dad when I was 30, my mom when I was 40, my husband when I was 50. Each time I’m like…”Oh yeah, I remember this.” My mom and husband died of cancer, so the process was so familiar.
    People expected me to fall apart when my husband died 3 years ago. I didn’t. I was back teaching three weeks later.

    Why? Two reasons: One, I’d been through it before. It was familiar. I knew I was going to be okay. And the one thing I didn’t want to do was be SAD all over again–grieving! OMG, I am a stupidly happy person, don’t make me be that sad person everyone feels pity for. So, I wasn’t her. I was strong, resilient, hopeful.

    The second reason is the strongest and it’s related to the first: I had to model the correct behavior for my five children. I wanted my daughters to have a road
    map should they, god forbid, lose a spouse in their life. They have a blueprint, they have memories of how to handle it—lest I not be here to help them through it. It’s all bread crumbs….

    Hang in there. Sending you good thoughts!

  9. Keep your chin up,you are a beautiful woman.keep faith in your journey alone or together you are meant to be at this spot in time wether you are the bird above the truck on the road or the sun and song in the air, you are in the spot you are meant to be

  10. Thank you both for the well wishes. I have to say when you have a soul mate in life it’s hard to ever get over them so maybe worth another try!

  11. My mercury in Libra in the 1st. I LOVE talking with people. My writing is who I am.my face.
    Lately no matter what I do I like staying where I am .yet I know I have to move.I go back and forth. Wanting to throw my arms open to far horizons yet reaching back and grasping the hands of my family not wanting to let go. Harder now that my mom has just passed and is buried here along with 3 generations before me.and my son is here…the 5th generation born here.
    As the year closes and the days get shorter, my wanderlust abates…everytime.
    And past memories peek around each corner of my hometown where I still live. They grip me by the hair and anchor me here. Rather plutonian….

  12. Elsa, I found your post interesting. I’m a double Libra (with Mercury Jupiter currently sitting on my natal Mercury). You say that you want to be together with someone. I just read your book (finally) and I was amazed at how good you were at being alone and not just surviving but thriving, albeit in your own unique way. So it’s interesting to me that you want to be together with someone. I felt from your book that you’re so forward thinking that your life ha been more about serial monogamy, which is kind of like being alone because at periodic times you find yourself alone and wondering what’s next, or if there is a next (relationship).

    As for me, I’ve always done things alone even with all the Libra. I’ve always wanted to be together with someone too, but other things in the chart have always prevented it. (My health issues prevent it too.) My karma is with my parents and my family. I’ve had to learn to accept that. It’s been about family of origin and not some guy or relationship. I’ve come to a point that I’ve accepted here’s not much time left and I might be alone until the end.

    • My book ends in my 20s. Serial monogamy doesn’t interest me at all today. In fact I thinks it’s highly overrated and if I could go back in time, I would marry my current husband who I met at 17…and I would have a ton of kids, like six or more.

      My husband is in my book. He’s the Teenager chapter. I should have married him. Seriously.

      • I have recently finished reading Eve Lorgen’s book The Dark Side of Cupid. One of the topics it covers is how two people who are meant to be together (and therefore have the potential to anchor a lot of love and good in the world) are targeted by various negative entities who try to prevent the union from happening, particularly in the long-term. The interference can take place in various forms such as people in one’s family being “possessed” or hosting very negative entities/energies and in turn sabotage the union. There’s also a fair bit about people in the military (and often their children) who are specifically targeted for a range of reasons. You need a very open mind to read this sort of stuff but for me it resonated at a feeling level, not just an intellectual level.

  13. I always thought that everybody has Libra. It’s usually found between Virgo and Scorpio.
    .
    But seriously, I always wondered why I feel so quickly homesick. Everywhere else, were I had been, I was much better off than at home, but I do hardly dare to go anywhere and often have excuses because I feel so incredible homesick very quickly. I presumed it could be my natal Moon in Four, but when I researched whether other people with Moon in Four feel the same way, I found instead that this rather means to able to build a new home anywhere in the world.
    .
    I believe that me also wanting to be together is not so much a result of my planets and planetoids in Libra, but a result of the amount of advertising for being together, which is around us all the time. We are immersed into such ads.

    • I would like to survive and to keep my sanity. I can’t think beyond that.

      I have to make it until 2020 and then I have to make it through 2020. I think I will be able to do this, for this reason – I am devoted to service.

  14. Wow!
    Well, knowing you, you will get right into this and figure out what will lead you to surviving and staying sane…but I suspect that you do not fear striking out into the unknown to seek new answers. I envy your adventurousness. I would like to strike out on my own looking for a warm climate and a new man… fear, children and finances hold me…
    If service is your vehicle, painting is mine, but everything except children is in flux…yet another crossroads. Feels like the crossroad at the end of “Survival” w Tom Hanks…or the Fool in the Tarot deck.

  15. ” If I don’t move out, I can’t meet it.”

    Someone wrote me, having interpreted that sentence to mean I was moving or had lost my house and that my husband I were divorcing?

    Gah.

    None of that is happening!

    That sentence was written by my Mercury Mars conjunction. It means I am going into battle, full of faith I will prevail.

    I am sorry this was left open to interpretation.

    No cancer
    No divorce
    No foreclosure…

    🙂

  16. Mystery leads us to want more; not of stories but of our lives
    We hear others,and we feel
    Our story getting ready for
    What’s next, thanks for feeding us mystery, it fuels our feelings

  17. Lol – agreed! But your current life patterning, triggering, responses at any given moment is based upon where your karmic imprint is at. We inherit the karmic patterns from our parents in our current life that sets us up for our soul’s life lessons that will be experienced in cycle loops. Depending upon how aware we are of “ourselves”, our Chart, our patterning will determine how many experiencial looping cycles we ultimately go through until we bring ourselves into balance with the karmic patterning imbalance. Now if we don’t finish the balancing, that’s totally ok, as we just continue the task into future lifetimes of soul growth and learning. So the life we are in, is the most important to know and focus upon, but past lives do create and define our current life lesson cycles.

    Warm regards – Shane 🙂

  18. I know that feeling. Having to separate, to leave something or someone to survive.

    I have done that several times in my life, so much it’s not a threat to me, because I know I’ll survive. My emotional security is the utmost importance to survive a fate worse than death – that is a dead relationship or an abusive one. (Libra Moon, 8H)

    Of course I have gotten “used” to this mechanic, and people are both awed and cringe at the thought of leaving one’s parent behind. But I came to a place where I got physically sick if I stayed. My Cancer house is in the 6th, so if my emotions/situation is out of balance (Libra) it affects my health. Add then 4 personal planets in Scorpio.

    So, survival it is.

    Elsa, I think you’re brave and awesome and I think few people have courage like you do.

  19. there are patterns. i have adapted coping mechanisms.
    i’m kind of the reverse- it’s difficult for me to learn how to work with people- i’m so used to having to go it alone i sometimes forget i can… and should.. ask for hep with things. some things can only be done in conjunction with others…

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