How To Break An Addiction To Destructive Relationships

I made this video for a client who was obsessed with having relationships with older men. She was subconsciouslyย driven to do this and she wanted to break free.

Have you identified patterns that doom your relationships? You can break those patterns. Here’s how in a 3 minute video.

Want more info?ย  Check out – Finding Love With Astrology.

Do you have a pattern like this?


Comments

How To Break An Addiction To Destructive Relationships — 79 Comments

  1. Great video Elsa–thank you

    I like your last statement…my father says something similar (about the void, but he uses a different word for it). Very sound advice.

  2. Gosh, I just emailed my friend that I have to stop attracting Scorpios… This is what I needed to hear and how to stop my cycle.

    Thank you.

  3. thank you elsa.

    you are so strong and sturdy that sometimes it seems daunting to take your advice, cause it’s easy to doubt i have the same strength,

    but when you talk about the trials and tribulations you have overcome, and are still so strong and sturdy in my minds eye—i have better faith that i can do it, too

  4. And here’s the punchline or the update to this…

    Of all things, I later found / realized I was far more suited to Scorpio with Aquarius rising, which is basically the same chart upside down.

    As one example, my lifelong friend, Ben is a Scorpio with a Leo rising as was the AMF, my last bf before I got with my husband. Much, MUCH better situations and I’d have never found this out had I kept going, going, going.

    Matter of fact, I was headed straight for my own demise with that combo, LOL. Whew!

  5. Ditto {{Lona}}…it’s hard to do when you are in the middle of something like this..but Elsa’s wise words give me hope for when and if this thing I am in ends. After that I can say NO!! Until then I am happy being miserable but hope to be happy to be happy one day!

  6. Yes. I keep attracting/am attracted to Taurus. Man after man after man. Taurus Sun, Taurus Moon, Taurus Mars… since I was 12, maybe even younger. I have finally, in the past few months, realized that it’s not funny, or exciting, or coincidental anymore… it’s painful. Perhaps it was the Cardinal Grand Cross that brought me to this. I can now step into my new life, with new people.

    Thank you, Elsa, for bringing this kind of addiction to light.

  7. Omg! I am soo attracted to Capricorn men or men with mars in scorpio… it starts out fine and then ends with the realization that they have no appreciation or respect(sooo imp for the capricorn vibration) for the real me and it’s just so sad!! I’ve figured out that it’s an unhealthy attraction to power struggles and the root of it is probably in my childhood and relationship with my father.. our charts just cause roadblocks for each other and are challenging so I go look for that same dynamic because it feels familiar and safe…

    But this makes sense that it’s never going to work since it’s nothing new and just a repeat of old patterns.. I do hope I can break this too..

    Elsa can you please repeat and clarify the statement about creating a void .. I think you meant that the universe will always fill a void .. But what if you want a relationship, just not badly enough?? because you feel burned, or unwilling to give up your space, independence or not sure you’re ready or it just doesn’t seem so attractive (because of all the work) at the moment.. but what if you know you want to eventually be in a good relationship.. is there a moment when things start to gain momentum/change/manifest.. or is that a willed state of being (willing/wishing it into being) Any thoughts on that Elsa??

  8. When I read this:

    “I think you meant that the universe will always fill a void .. But what if you want a relationship, just not badly enough?? because you feel burned, or unwilling to give up your space, independence or not sure you’re ready or it just doesn’t seem so attractive (because of all the work) at the moment.. but what if you know you want to eventually be in a good relationship.. is there a moment when things start to gain momentum/change/manifest.. or is that a willed state of being (willing/wishing it into being)”

    You clearly aren’t willing to get in the game… so no game. ๐Ÿ™‚

    As to when your feelings change, who knows. One day you wake up lonely and say wtf?

  9. Thank you. Cancer risings are from here on out verboten. Btw, you are coming across as so content, relaxed, happy and secure on your recent videos. It’s a joy to watch.

  10. I kind of read this to say that sort of: “something comes up, it always does,” because the void is the 12th house and the twelfth house is the house of faith and surrender. The minute a thing dies something is being created, something new or at least new-to-you. It doesn’t have to be your soulmate. It could be the killer full moon that is out there tonight.

  11. eva, that phrase tracks back to the beginning of this blog when I would get these women writing for advice. They were always so confused as to how they woke up in bed with their boss and what not. It was like it was mysterious or something. He looked at them. They looked at him. Next thing you know, this dick is in them and they’re sayin’ “Hey Elsa, what should I do?”

  12. you know, I used to luuuuuvre Aquarian men– (Suns). I was burned by every last one. Just thought of this now…yes I indeed swear them off, and this was before astrology was even that important to me.

  13. Wow Awesome Video Elsa. I always looove your videos. My pattern is either my relatioships dont get off the ground because neither admits feelings or I dont let on my feelings in a direct way. So I must stop this and well admit admit admit and put it on the line! Got it. And I know exactly who to use it on ๐Ÿ˜‰

  14. My most recent ex is a Sagittarius Sun/Leo Moon/Aquarius Rising.. the one that put me off from any more sexy Sadges. Ah, and sexy they are..

    Damn it, haha. ๐Ÿ™

    • OY!
      Sadges
      Total understatement!!!!!!
      Very sexy, but why so difficult to be with them? Not enough room for 2 people in the game, i guess…?

  15. I seem to have an Aries addiction. I can think of at least 5 boyfriends in my life that were Aries sun signs. I’m not so sure about their rising signs, though…wasn’t as into astrology back in the day to even know about rising signs! Thing is, when you meet someone new…how do you know right away if they’re Aries (or whatever your poison is)? I think it would be weird to just say, “Hi, I’m so and so, and by the way…when is your birthday?”

  16. I always thought it was my Leo addiction which was the problem, even though two of my biggest disssasters were Aquarius suns… but in the last couple of months since I’ve been on these boards, and pulling up charts, I’ve realised it’s even more to do with the combination of Leo and Aquarius in all their charts which is the critical mix which poisons me

    And it turns out they almost all have this combination – but while I’m dazzled by the compulsive attraction given off by their Leo I’m then poleaxed by the emotional detachment and/or absence of their Aquarius.

    Sadly it’s a bit late in my life to learn this lesson… but I advise anyone young enough to profit from Elsa’s advice to pay attention here!

  17. I seem to have a thing for men with watery Suns and/or Moons. Most of them with tons of issues. This has never been good for me.

  18. The only guy that seems to be addicted to me is a sun/scorpio with a leo/rising, we were together for 11 years and I wanted out of the relationship not him. He still calls me everyday. I seemed to be addicted to men with virgo/rising and gemini somewhere in their chart. I’m not sure what the hell to do b/c all the men I’ve dated have different sign suns and ascendants.

    So what else could I possible look at Elsa to recognize my addictions in relationships?

  19. The only thing I’ve noticed, My step-father’s Moon is in Pisces, My daughter’s father, moon in Pisces, and out of ALL the Men i’ve dated, only ONE stands out, the one I fell HARD for, wanna guess? Yep Moon in Pisces. Thing is, my stepfather is a liar, my daughters father is a liar, the other one, I suspected was a liar. NOT good for me, I start lashing out at people like this. (liars) Guess it doesn’t help that their moons fall in my 12th house. I’ve physically hit these 2 men, and the person I always wanted to hit was my stepfather. I’m lucky I’m not in jail.

    I think I’m looking for my stepfather in relationships so I can work on my anger towards him. Clearly I have issues with my moon in pisces stepfather. Maybe I should work on that. Thing is, with the two men, I felt LOVE. Just NOT with my stepfather.

  20. @Morgan u answered my question thank u.
    My father was a Gemini and he was unavailable and unemotional I seem to be attracted to men that have gemini somewhere in their chart. So i suppose the isolation, loneliness and anger I feel is probably me trying to heal those psychological destructive addictions. Never considered that this addiction could be the childhood pain I felt from my father.

    I remembered waiting on my dad to pick me up. He said he was coming to get me and never did. I looked outside the window for him for hours. He never showed up and not knowing this would affect me later in my adult life. I noticed men who aren’t available for me emotionally I’m drawn to them. I actually relate that to love. I need to heal this shit and move on.

    Thanks again Morgan and Elsa for posting this thread.

  21. I have to disagree on the void thing, I really do. I have had massive voids in my life for years and they were not filled, and that’s not just in man/woman relationships either. Even when I was trying to fill the void with men, I rarely caught one– and when I was feeling full, they weren’t happy.

    My version of breaking the cycle is just living with the void and not trying to fill it with a human that I’m going to strangle with too much clingy and drive up the wall anyway. I may be conflicted now, but even when I wasn’t conflicted, usually nobody was coming along to fill me. So sorry, I just don’t buy it.

  22. Elsa,

    I’m a woman Scorpio with a Leo rising, and after watching this video clip, I am very grateful you were so kind and awesome in the reading we had a little over a year ago! So, thank you!

    BTW, it’s due time for another reading…lots of changes. I’m dead set on clearing this destructive relationship pattern. I think I found my trap door. We’ll see…

    Speak to you in a couple of weeks.

  23. Yeah, *strange* that I felt LOVE. I had to do a *double-take* after READING my post. It was an eye-opener for me too, siddiyas. Thank you.
    By the way, my nick name, my aunt gave me when I was little was “Sidya”. (Short for my first name)

    I literally think that when you run into the same person over and over again, they’re energy is just stuck on you.

    I sometimes think that two biggest words in healing are “I’m Sorry.” People spend thousands of dollars on therapy for something they didn’t even do to themselves. And sadly, they never get that remorse from the other person. Sucks.

  24. @Morgan aka Sidya,

    All i ever wanted/want is an apology from those who have hurt me.
    This last guy I dated for two years off and on he has sun/sag moon/gemini, ascendant/virgo, mars & jupiter pisces, venus /scor, sat/sag–I have not heard from him since July 1. It hurts that he has not called or said anything about how much he’s sorry for hurting me. He never apologized for the evil things his mother has done to me. Instead he just ran away with no remorse or feeling. Once again, it goes back to my father stuff. Why should I care about someone who does not care about me, crazy huh?

  25. (((Elsa)))) Such a great video! Addiction indeed.

    This gave me so much hope, and so much strength. Just knowing that what I’m going through now others have gone through before, and hearing how you’ve survived through it, it really is like a family here. It’s like advice I would have loved to hear from my mother/aunt/sister etc etc.

    Thank you for always trying to make these videos and posts even if it’s hard. I, for one, am supremely grateful for them.

    many many thanks!!
    mia

  26. so soo wise ๐Ÿ™‚ I like the part about creating a void– it does work. I had a fatal type attraction thing for years and years with pisces (same bday even) but now I attract mostly Taurus which are much more stable. good for my NN in Taurus

  27. eg I have a taurus north node too…I’m currently mingling with an aquarius woman…but Gosh I had been attracting capricorn women so long, and they are no good for my moon in pisces and saturn in scorpio. They are so cold…I know I probably am too though because I have a stellium in capricorn.

    Elsa…It’s very interesting that you attracted the same type of individuals. Did you know their charts before hand? I’m thinking obviously not, but maybe I’m wrong.

  28. Now if I could just get my brother to watch this it would be fantastic. He is a Gemini with a Leo Moon and a Cancer rising. First wife was a Scorpio, Second wife was a Cancer both marriages ended horribly he didn’t remarry for 8 years after the First wife. He dates but when they even hint at getting close he runs like he is on fire, What was weird to me both women were very much alike and though their signs are trine they act much alike also.

  29. thank you, Elsa!

    Last time I checked I still got attracted to guys that aren’t good for me. I guess I’ve been trying to solve my own issues by personalizing them.

    I actually look kinda forward to my 1st Saturn return. It seems like a good opportunity to work the issues.

    I’ve been rather happy about not having a partner these last years, because I’ve had too much to deal with. But I guess that kinda tell me how I view relationship as something bad. Not strengthening or supporting, just deep relation with someone who makes me feel like shit.

    I’ll change that Elsa – just give me some time ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. Thank you Elsa! Great video and a perfect timing!!

    Yes I have noticed a pattern coming over and over again. They are not excactly the same signs, but they all have heavy cardinal (Aries,Capricorn,Cancer). now i know why

  31. @siddiyas
    I always used to think that the sorry from a “hurter” would help to heal but I have had some sorries ..what it led me to understand was that it made it no better knowing that someone was sorry or not, the hurt was still there. The sorry had to come from myself to myself for allowing these things to happen to me through lack of self love. Or accepting that sometimes we make mistakes and allow people to hurt us and then punish ourselves by seeking their apology, instead of forgiving ourselves our mistakes.

  32. @Elsa
    You are a beautiful, intelligent, insightful woman who helps others with her learnings and guidance. For most people this “service” is a dream fulfilment. I don’t know why it is difficult for you to video but believe they are fulfilling this purpose. You come across as witty, honest and a pleasure to listen to even if the content sometimes causes one deep soul mining. Thank you for them.

  33. Hi Everyone,
    My Aries friend waited 20 years before going to a dating site and straight away attracted her old nemesis–in this case a non-drinker, evasive, architect, deceiver, pretending not married, sexy European man. Happened to be a Neptune man.
    Her past was divorce from the husband she stole from another… architect, alcoholic,sexy European, cheated on her. Admittedly she’s not into affirmations and positive thinking but she knew to wait to let past influences go away. But 20 years! Wow!
    I attract ADD diabetics myself (smile) My ex commented about my new boyfriend…”Do you advertise for them?” There’s always a Jupiter effect in EVERY relationship also an ADD Jupiter son. My sun squares Jup.

  34. Great video Elsa. I totally agree we keep attracting the same types over and over again, until one day we wake up and say stop and create some space. Take time out, make a void. At which time, more often than not, if we are concentrating on attracting something new, and doing things in new ways, it comes. This is definitely true and has been my experience.
    Only thing I noticed, like you said you stopped with Leo rising to Aquarian, like upside down chart, we seem to attract the total opposite to us. What we lacked or decided we didn’t want in former relationship becomes the major thing we do want and find in the new one. This is strange….

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