“My repulsiveness, or eccentricity or my coarse nature or whatever, is going to out eventually. This is who I am…”
I wrote that on a comment on this post in 2014:
I’m living this now. I met someone some months ago. I liked the woman, immediately. I don’t know that she liked me at first, but I guess I grew on her.
I’ve accepted some of her invitations and spent some time with her. We’ve talked on the phone a number of times. It seemed normal at first, but lately every conversation consists of me telling her that I am not what she’s imagined me to be.
For example, she thinks I am older than I am, disabled and not working. Um…
I have told her over and over, I don’t have as much time as she does. I have to work / run a business, see all these doctors. I get up at four in the morning with my husband, cook three meals a day…whatever. She refuses to “see” me or internalize these plain facts.
I am only going to be able to present these facts, nicely, so many times, before *I* feel forced to present them with force. Once I do that, I will be seen as a horrible person, who someone thought was “nice”.
I really don’t think it is “nice” or even possible for a person to behave in accord with your imagination. In case it’s a pure projection. She is older, disabled and not working.
I guess she wants to meet a peer, but I am not a peer and for this, I will not be forgiven.