Projection Conundrum

Conundrum

I was thinking about the Conundrum topic. This is one of the problems people have forming relationships. You’re told and shown that you can have it all. You believe it. This your hope and also your expectation, if you’re going to stick around.

So you meet someone and initially, they’re perfect. You have very little information and human nature will tend to fill in the blanks, favorably or unfavorably, depending on the individual’s nature.   For this purpose, let’s assume the person is positive.

The new potential partner has  A, B, F and S qualities, for sure.  You want the whole alphabet so you add it in, or rather, you add most of it in, feeling you’re discerning.  All is well.

But then days or weeks or months pass, this person behaves like a person.  They are moody, inconsistent, they get sick, whatever.  At this point you have to reckon with reality, if you want to stay in the relationship.  It’s far easier to not to!  This person is not ideal so you’re foiled again.  Best get out there and fish another line!

Marty made a great point:

“If we were to restructure our societal thought, we need to determine what *IS* the missing variable? You happen to be a very good representation of why so many stick with their dualities, for being accountable for self is the third. The point that gives perspective, depth and distance.”

blindersTo function in a relationship, you have to be able to deal with a human and the easiest way to do that is to realize, they have to deal with you. So what are you like? What are your moods and inconsistencies like? What about when you get sick or are otherwise not at your best?

It’s a matter of living in the real world as opposed to trying to reach some appealing digital scenario you’ve seen at some point in your life.  Everyone screws up and we seem less and less tolerant of this, as we simultaneously screw up ourselves.

It’s the opposition again.  You have to turn 180 degrees to see what’s going on.  There are legions of people, who would never. I mean, no way, no how. They just slap on another set of blinders on top of their other sets of blinders and move on down the road.


Comments

Projection Conundrum — 10 Comments

  1. Reading this made me think of the Libea/Aries nodal shift coming mid July. I believe it’s already sending out vibrations!

  2. Not just with future, but also present relationships! The 180 reminded me of Homer Simpson tripping balls on the ghost chili, spooting a image of Marge and trying to see her face/front, but the 180 [and subsequent 360s] gave the back of her again. Only for the image to dissapate into drifting sand and he’s left with a vast vista. “Who IS my soul mate?” lmao! That was sublime! Trickster stuff for sure! please note I do *not* recommend one punts a Spirit animal! Ha! That’s just bloody stupid!

        • I think it’s an iceberg thing, those blinkers are masking a crap load of underwater baggage. The perceived stability is actually a ballast of batshit keeping them steady. That batshit is also there ready to fling like a monkey lol. Or you get punted like Coyote!

          I was also thinking of the business idiom:- Three choices- Pick two. Cheap. Fast. Good. You only get two. Always. And that third one is instead replaced with why you only get two [accountability]

  3. Mmm this topic is very timely with mars and venus squaring uranus currently. I feel this week the veils of illusions and projections have been lifted and I see the light. I broke up with someone on Thursday. 9-year age difference and we have the same rising (scorpio), midheaven, moon, venus, mercury, and mars. We had a disagreement about expectations in a partnership and can’t bridge the gap. Moving on and up 🙂

  4. I agree that we have to manage expectations.
    No one is perfect, especially not me.
    But there are something’s I cannot compromise on ,and are deal breakers, whether in friendships or relationships.
    Truth…can’t abide lies.
    Alcoholic,
    Stingy or ungenerous,in giving love and affection or spending money.
    The rest doesn’t matter.

  5. Yeah blinders are bad, is it that we really are not requiring much from the other that we hold in on what it is that first attracted us, ?that voice ?those eyes, ?the work? the first few expressions ?the boldness, ?the timidness?, not quite sure, ?but what I have learned and let me share !guys tell your stuff !listen !when they say things like oh I’d love to take you on a little ?ride ask yourself why did he say little? Oh I’d love to take you out to share some dinner share ?don’t I’m not after much more than a body to do things with !I mean there are perks but in essence just an interesting mind !I crave conversation !!I am getting older ,yes, everything still works ,but I’m not putting that on the top line , as when they cozy up too fast, you hear things like oh by the way ,my other girlfriend !?@!!your other girlfriend ??yeah pay attention to what they say !!and then the flag start flying !jump.!!!!! It’s OK to have nice quiet, solitude, honest.
    Even young kids have figured this one out my grandson turned 18 this young girl kept coming by acting a little flirty. He was very interested on his birthday. She said I’d love you to come by. I’ve got a bottle of tequila but after you drink it you have to leave you’re not staying he told me the story and said isn’t drinking and driving illegal when she said that I thought. (He) she wants to get me to drink alcohol and then drive away in my car. That’s just stupid. So proud of them.
    Thank God for blogs:)

  6. This almost sounds too simple, as if we are all just human not criminals masking our evil plans. A generational thing? Maybe once people were more innocent? I usually stick with a partner too long until I realized that they never loved me and only used or abused me. I have noticed men from my generation, with Pluto in Libra are over sexualized. They were exposed to porn and graphic violent porn so young they are making the industry billions and at the same time destroying their relationships with sex addiction, frivolous spending, sexual abuse, coercion, rape, incest, pedophilia. I know this problem has always been around but it’s become so damaging I’m literally crippled. My last partner whom I married was much more addicted than I knew. He spent all my money, put me in debt and I think his hiding Chlamydia is why I had a hydrosalpinx the size of my fist. Cut out in open surgery and now adhesions in my abdomen are so horrendous I can’t eat much and the pain is horrifying. I may end up on supplemental income which doesn’t cover basic bills. I still didn’t kick him out until I caught him with child porn and my suspicion was verified. I waited way too long. Every guy I’ve ever dated sexually abused me in some way. Now my part in this was it took 42 years to realize I’m not bad for saying no. I’m not going to feel guilty or ashamed for having boundaries. I was raised southern Baptist and my parents said only beating and cheating justify divorce. Since most of my partners just sexually abused me by drunk coercion or force and I never caught them cheating, I’m a horrible wife and a bad woman. And now I’m disabled from it. I really took this long to fully find self autonomy and respect my own sovereignty. Perhaps to little too late. I’m no cake walk I know but I also know I’m not the only woman who’s suffered abuse by men who mask and mirror exceptionally well. I have an Aquarius stellium so I don’t need love, though I’d like it. I have a libra stellium making me a people pleaser and fearful of the consequences if I don’t. I have Capricorn Venus 3rd house. Scorpio ascendant with Pluto in 12th. My moon is Virgo. I am aware I am meant to have a hard life but when I read your relationship views, I often wonder what ever happened to those people. Like my grandparents where they got on each other’s nerves but that was it. No abuse, no cheating, no insane debt, just cute old couples where the men and women were just human. Not violent criminals in disguise.

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