I was thinking about the Conundrum topic. This is one of the problems people have forming relationships. You’re told and shown that you can have it all. You believe it. This your hope and also your expectation, if you’re going to stick around.
So you meet someone and initially, they’re perfect. You have very little information and human nature will tend to fill in the blanks, favorably or unfavorably, depending on the individual’s nature. For this purpose, let’s assume the person is positive.
The new potential partner has A, B, F and S qualities, for sure. You want the whole alphabet so you add it in, or rather, you add most of it in, feeling you’re discerning. All is well.
But then days or weeks or months pass, this person behaves like a person. They are moody, inconsistent, they get sick, whatever. At this point you have to reckon with reality, if you want to stay in the relationship. It’s far easier to not to! This person is not ideal so you’re foiled again. Best get out there and fish another line!
Marty made a great point:
“If we were to restructure our societal thought, we need to determine what *IS* the missing variable? You happen to be a very good representation of why so many stick with their dualities, for being accountable for self is the third. The point that gives perspective, depth and distance.”
To function in a relationship, you have to be able to deal with a human and the easiest way to do that is to realize, they have to deal with you. So what are you like? What are your moods and inconsistencies like? What about when you get sick or are otherwise not at your best?
It’s a matter of living in the real world as opposed to trying to reach some appealing digital scenario you’ve seen at some point in your life. Everyone screws up and we seem less and less tolerant of this, as we simultaneously screw up ourselves.
It’s the opposition again. You have to turn 180 degrees to see what’s going on. There are legions of people, who would never. I mean, no way, no how. They just slap on another set of blinders on top of their other sets of blinders and move on down the road.