The other day a gal came on in the comments to report how she was repulsed by me. She explained that my Moon in Sagittarius opposed her Moon in Gemini and due to this she was miffed by me. My Sagittarius Moon has been troubling her for two years but the fact is I don’t have a Sagittarius Moon. I don’t have any planets in Sagittarius so this point out in space that she had been sparring with was created by her imagination. In short, she needed a villain.
Pluto was transiting Sagittarius opposite her Moon. She used the word ‘repulsed” so this seems a pretty clear case of taking what you don’t like (the shadow) and putting it on Elsa P because after all, she’s handy. And I am not mad at that woman, I am trying to make a point. If you can’t grok what I am saying you will never, ever understand my turning away from a wedding and the point is this:
I walk through this world as a slate people project on to. This is not because I am special, blessed or cursed. There is no judgment, it’s just the way it is.
That right there is a challenging concept for some though I am at a loss to understand why. It’s like people want to be able to deny their black hair, or the other person’s black hair. Why?
People have qualities. The qualities are shown in the chart and that’s it. End of story. Why we can’t each have our qualities is beyond me but anyway, this is not a mild phenomena around me. It is a profound phenomena and no one is immune. No one is immune to being tricked by me (and my imaginary Sadge Moon) and I am not immune to being tricked by them either.
I see this happen (consciously) many times each day and I am sure it happens millions of times a day in ways I don’t see but one thing for sure is this: It happens.
People look at me and the see things that are just not real. Like the gal railing against my Sagittarius Moon for two years, or the guy who bitched me out for leaving my two boys at home while I went to work, when in fact what I had was two dogs!
Even the people on this blog who are most compassionate to me fall prey. This weekend someone defended me by saying I was raised by Henry. I wasn’t raised by Henry. This is the same phenomena that gives me a Sadge moon, see? It’s the same phenomena that makes people think I am talking about them when I am not talking about them and this stuff… well it can just not be controlled (Saturn). It can be observed but that’s about it.
So here is the point: This happens to everyone who come sin contact with me and the soldier is no exception. He is not an exception now and he was not an exception 30 years ago so while he’s got a story he believes is real, I can tell you unequivocally his story is not real. Elements of it are real but from my perspective I would say he hit alongside the barn having missed the actual side completely.
That’s a pretty big discrepancy but lemme tell you, I am used to this and when I try to correct these discrepancies they often become larger and I’ll give you an example:
Let’s say that gal thinks I have a Sagittarius Moon – she KNOWS this. I say, “No I don’t have a Sagittarius Moon.”
At that point (and this is just a general example, not specific to her but so you can see how this works) she can shut off the projector and unravel her thinking of two years but with an investment as large as the one she’s got, she is just as likely, if not more likely to decide I am lying. You know. I am tricking her! And if she takes this very tempting path, it would be an uptick in the delusion.
Now if you are able to understand this then maybe you can understand how I would be inclined towards allowing people their misconceptions or delusions. It is almost always fruitless to try to combat them. It’s like going up against a tidal wave. I get crushed obviously.
If you ask the soldier why we didn’t marry, he will tell you that it’s because he’s a soldier.
“I was going into Special Forces and she did not want that kind of life so she turned me down. I wanted to marry her, I tried to marry her but she wouldn’t have me because I was going into Special Forces…”
That’s his story right there. He believes it though it is nowhere near accurate. Further, I have learned to sit next to him when he tells people this because it’s so much easier than launching a protest. I think this is disturbing but it’s also life and it is something we have in common actually.
The soldier virtually never tells anyone of his his history because when he’s tried, they don’t believe him. If they do believe him they say stupid things that are annoying. Virtually no one can understand anything he says and there is a reason for this.
The reason is because his experience is uncommon. It takes place on the very end of the continuum, a place people do not like to acknowledge even exists. He knows this so he does not inconvenience them. Literally.
What you don’t know is that I am in the same predicament. All my peers are dead too, have you noticed? Probably not.
We both have stories you’ve not heard the likes of but if we tell them what happens (as he says) is “people look at you like a hog looking at wrist watch” and who does that satisfy?
Personally, I think it’s important to get as much out as possible and so I have this thing called, “The Elsa Blog”. And I am going to come back and tell you about the obese Pisces with the googly eyes I knew when I was young. The story is vintage, before things and people had to be PC so extra credit for that.
And just to stay on task, what I am trying to get at and get in everyone’s head is this: I am not who you think I am and I don’t even have to know who you think I am to know this is true. I am not meant to be seen without distortion. If I was I’d not have Neptune on the midheaven.
You know how you can look at your image in the water and it’s all wavy. It’s possible if you look long enough, you will see a true reflection for the briefest instant and you’ll know it too. Eureka!
But it’s a flash in time and then the distortion (which is the norm) comes right back and you can see how there is nothing anyone can do. This stuff occurs in nature and there is a reason for it. I mean, what am I, some kind of accident? I don’t think so. I think a bunch of cards got dealt and I am one of them.