I remember a video, in which you said that self esteem has to be earned. I went through a depressing period of a Saturn return in my 2nd house. My self esteem is pretty much dead. What are practical, concrete ways someone can do to earn self esteem?
Is there a point of earning it if it will just die again?
Down in the Dumps
Hi, Dumps. Here’s the video you mentioned in your post.
The only way to earn self esteem is to accomplish something. It’s tied to Saturn. A person pays their dues. They prove themselves, to themselves, more than to others.
The only way to accomplish something is to set a goal and persevere towards it. You can compete against others or compete against yourself, it doesn’t matter. But to acquire true self esteem you have to accomplish something through your own effort. Once you have accomplished something, even if it’s small, you can build on that base.
If you’re at the lowest point a human being can be at, then you goal can be to survive!
When you have survived, that’s an accomplishment and off you go towards the next goal.
My point in the video, was that a person can’t be given (real) self esteem, nor can they steal it from someone else. They can be inflated by flattery or because they have money or good looks, but that’s not real self esteem!
With Saturn in your second house, you’re asking the right question. If you decide today, to take this challenge, I guarantee you, you’ll be successful. Here’s a story…
My son has his Sun in Taurus conjunct Saturn. This is equivalent to Saturn in the Taurus-ruled 2nd house. He used to be extremely low-achieving. He was smart enough to start school a year early. But then he slacked, badly, all the way into 8th grade. At that point I told him if he did not perform, I would not allow him to start high school.
“Your grades in high school are going to affect your ability to get into college. Obviously, you’re not mature enough to apply yourself. I’ve been pleading with you for years and I am sick of it. You’re a year ahead, so it’s no big deal if you’re held back a year. I don’t care if the school is willing to advance you to the next grade. I will not allow you to advance and go through school and graduate, stupid. So either you get your grades up, or you start high school next year, over my dead body.”
He knew I meant it so that did it. My son is now a 15 year old junior in high school. He’s college bound with a 4.68 GPA! Do you think he has self esteem? He does.
Do you think he had self esteem when he was bringing home below average grades? D’s? He did not.
This is your invitation to get you ass in gear. You’ve seen the bottom. You obviously don’t like it, so get up and start climbing. If you decide to do this, for real, you will be amazed at the people who show up to help you. And then someday you’ll be passing this advice on.
To address your last remark, specifically, if you do earn your self esteem, it can’t be taken from you. My son knows he can come up from the bottom, right? You can tell him he’s a loser. He knows he is not!
Have you earned your self esteem?
Update 2019 – My son is now a junior in college, earning straight A’s, studying engineering.
Update in 2020 – My son got in his field after his junior year. He worked 34 hours a week, throughout his entire senior year. He’s now graduated and working for the same company. He’s 21 years old and being rapidly promoted. You too, can change your paradigm!
Update in 2023 – My son is a lead engineer in his firm.