Pluto….

tree-smash.jpgThe soldier is going through his old photos and came across these. As the story goes he left his first marriage having lost everything and I mean everything except a computer.

He rented a room in this hovel for $50 a month and THE NEXT DAY this tree fell on his room… smashing the computer of course. The room was covered in crap… pieces of building and there was nothing to do but walk away.

Saturn was conjunct his natal Mercury (setting off his T-square) and Pluto was square his natal Pluto.

For some of us, when the universe wants you to start from nothing, it means start from nothing and I know the feeling. I left my home at 15 wearing a sun dress (I have always been girly) and a pair of rubber thongs. Not only did I not have any money (not a dime), I didn’t even have a purse.

Have you ever started from nothing?

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Pluto…. — 41 Comments

  1. I was going to say no, but I guess when I left home I had next to nothing.

    I don’t get the impression that you were scared or anything, Elsa.

  2. Yeah I did this too.
    I had a suitcase half filled with clothes, half with books.
    $200.00 and a one-way airline ticket.

  3. Yup, I have. Twice. First time was when Pluto was transiting my natal moon, second time was when it was transiting my natal sun. In both cases, once the decision to start over…or start something, anything, was made, things opened up here and there to make the path — not easier, but navigable (is that a word?). But my God, my Libra rising made the build up to the startovers sheer hell!

  4. yes I have started from zero, more than once, and I am doing it again. The first time felt pretty free, I left home at 15. Actually, I kind of love leaving… but I hate moving. and as scary as starting over is, you are face to face with yourself, one more time, for good and bad, pretty interesting.

  5. Yes, but I had a pillow and $70, which felt like nothing. One thing I’ve learned in this life is that there is always someone worse off than you. Which is not exactly positive but realistic, and kept me in check when things seemed hopeless.

  6. Kashmiri, I would tell anyone, always bring a pillow when you’re starting over! The second time I started over, I had a pillow, a blanket, some books and my cat in the backseat of my car..and the car broke down—-for good! I was in tears, but concentrated on comforting my cat. It helped.

  7. Yes, on the way to India, and I left a new 4-runner in the airport parking lot on the way to India, because it was about to be reposessed anyway. Then, one of my 2 suitcases with all I had left felt too heavy, and it was causing me to struggle, so I left it sitting in the middle of the sidewalk along side of this major metropolitan airport. Probably caused a bomb scare, but it was Sept 3, 2001, and week prior to 9-11.

    Within a year my bank account was down to zero, and I had managed to get from India to Australia, and my life felt just like that picture (above). The most penniless time of all was in Singapore, where I had to go to renew my Indian visa, and in Kuala Lumpar, where they didn’t want to clear me to fly (my scariest moment in a foreign country.)

    Yea, speaking of cars, Maureen, I managed to get a junker in Australia for $500 Australia money (250 Us) but the seller neglected to tell me the radiator leaked so it threw a rod the 2nd day I had it. God my life so sucked for a while, thanks for the reminder of how very grateful I should feel every second.

    Yep, and as far as what to bring, ‘Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy’ says the only thing you need is a towel and a book with the words “Don’t Panic.”

  8. Yea man the dude at Kuala Lumpar airport was very haughty and he goes “There’s a hold on your passport” and I go “That has never happened before” and he glares at me with contempt (kill the American woman, is what I saw written in the imaginary balloon of thought floating over his head) and he says coldly, “Well, it is happening NOW, isn’t it?” That was in Jan of 02, 3 or 4 months after 9/11, and it looked like Kuala Lumpar was a largely muslem country. I’m not sure, I never went back and looked it up.

  9. everything i could fit into a station wagon. considering that it held two adults and a baby and a ton of baby stuff.
    so not quite nothing. but little enough.
    just finished getting the rest of the stuff. it’s been four year and i don’t even know why i had half of it any more.

  10. Yea man, for me it was years and years of accumulation there in 2000, and I threw out box after box without even looking to see what was inside of it. Then, the stuff I put into storage, I couldn’t pay for that anymore, so all that went poof as well. I don’t miss any of it except I would love to still have my baby book my mom made, and some pictues, and my diplomas.

  11. Very inspiring stories, everyone! I love it. Closest I’ve come is hitchhiking to SF with only $20 and two friends who had even less. That was 1967. I don’t think we literally had flowers in our hair or such like. (Two sailors slugging back one beer after another gave us our first ride up Hwy 1 through the curves and cliffs of Big Sur!) I was just a kid, and came back to some dumb job or other. Still, glad I saw that whole thing with my own eyes, and had to beg a little to get by those several days.

    Loonsounds, Maylaysia CAN be scary (in a way that Indonesia is not), and yes it is muslim. They are politically convenient muslims (IMHO), and that I don’t care for. Remember Mahatir (former Prime Minister) and all the asshole things he said and sometimes did? I commiserate with you over your memories and you adventure! It’s been a long long time since mine.

  12. I left everything behind once. All I took with my was my baby and all I could carry (which was mostly baby clothes and some baby food). My mom could never understand how I wouldn’t fight to get the rest of my stuff back once I was safe. I just couldn’t get her to understand that I HAD to let go and I would never have to do that again if I did it right the first time.

  13. Yes, more than twice…but I always bounce back…I’m like a cat in that sense…I’m on my 4th life now, I think 😉

  14. 3 times Elsa. Each time I have lost everything in floods; the last time (I am going to write this up later and post it with pictures, because it is uncanny) my whole house got covered in a lake.

    I have Neptune (floods) in Scorpio (destroy) in the 2nd house (my possessions), right? It is also square Jupiter which only expands things for the worse. I have learned to be *very* philosophical about the things I “own” ever since.

  15. Funny this subject should come up now, as I’ve lately been re-assessing all the times I’ve started over and re-invented myself by learning something new.

    The first time I started over I was 17. I had on pajamas, a long coat and clogs with no socks, and it was snowing out and I was on foot. The second time, I was 19 and had a baby and only took our clothes, my purse and a diaper bag. The third time, I was 21, again only took some of my and the baby’s clothes – that’s when I lost yearbooks, pictures, letters I’d saved since jr. high days, (and my Leo poster of a big golden lion!). The fourth time, I was 45, my children were grown and all I took were the old ratty clothes I’d been wearing and my sacred objects. And a beater silver van whose rust spots made it look like it had been in a drive-by. One of my sons later brought some of the stuff I’d left behind with a U-Haul.

    The fifth time, same, but with a different car. The last time, though, the fifth time, I went back and got my stuff myself, which seemed to me to feel like I’d finally gotten something right in all those leave-takings.

    Each time, household goods just came to me, one way or another. Dishes, furniture, art, gew-gaw. Of the material things I’ve left behind, I remember missing only a few. I missed the people far more, and grieved accordingly.

    Each time, however, I gained valuable insights, teachings and experience that made me a better person. I learned forgiveness and gratitude. I learned I could do what I had to do even though I was afraid. I learned self-reliance. I learned a lesson about the trap that is self-pity over and over. Above all, I finally learned not to abandon or reject my Self, though I had been abandoned or rejected by someone else, which always triggered my leave-taking and became a kind of self-fullfilling prophecy for me. Talk about patterns!

    I don’t know enough yet to go back and figure out the astrology in place at the time of each departure, but I’ll bet Saturn and life-lesson themes had a lot to do with it!

  16. After college in order to get out of England and buy a ticket back to the US, I sold everything and had 1 quarter which I used to call a friend in LA. This is something I don’t know if I could do now (don’t want to) but when I was young, hope in the future is what I lived on.

  17. Yikes….I was just talking about that piece of land by the lake we are gonna buy and then I read you, Jeremy.
    I too have Neptune in the 2nd house. No Scorpio though. Baybe that just means I’m supposed to live by the lake????

  18. Wow Peppermint, amazing story. Hmmmm, so I guess it’s no wonder that you have lots of “stuff”. Could it be some sort of protection? Maybe you should tell your son that you earned it! (I’m remembering correctly, I hope)

    Actually, these are all amazing stories. All these stories of people with nothing, sometimes being scared as hell, but having the guts to take that absolutely scary as hell step into the unknown.

    I feel privileged and enriched to be able to hear all your stories, and they make me appreciate what I have.

  19. I’ve started over a few times with just a little bit – some clothes, my guitar, whatever cash I had at the time. It’s actually kind of liberating!

  20. Thanks for the info, JJJ, yep, my Neptune rising picked up some extremely unpleasant vibes. I could have easily been lost there forever. I was almost flat broke, and my relatives (especially my mother and sister) were not speaking to me at that time. GOD got me through that one, and many others similarly edgy (in different kinds of ways).

    I have Uranus on the 12th house, which, some say, is supposed to the the house of overseas travel (compared to the 9th which is said to rule domestic travel, and the 3rd city travel). It brings all kinds of surprising upsets and scary edges when I travel overseas, but it is one degree conjunct Jupiter (cancer in the 5th).

    Soooooooo many times something came through just in the nick of time, and it was like ‘Thank God Thank God Thank God’ (I have heard the jup/ura conjunction called the “thank God” conjunction as something comes through at the last second in the most urgent situation.

    One time my ‘car’ died or ran out of gas, but it just kept driving, because it had to. I was in the middle of nowhere in Australia, it had to. I could feel it, it was like God propelled for the necessary period of time.

  21. Metaphorically, yes. My entire life has been a series of building up and then crashing down – either from inside or outside forces. I am getting used to it and almost expect it now which is not necessarily a good thing I guess. Maybe I just have a more philosophical bent towards it all. I see people with stable long-term lives and relationships all around me and I wonder why I ended up so chaotic.

  22. Thanks for the insight Snapdragon, yes all my gew-gaw may be a form of protection, and I may be taking umbrage at my son’s suggestions to de-materialize because I’d feel vulnerable without it. Hmmmm have to think about that one.

    Lately, though, I’ve been looking at the sheer quantity of the stuff, and I’m bored with it. Been thinking of moving it around, putting some in one room, some in another, making the place look differently. Also tempted to have a grand rummage sale and just send it on out there. I could have a Gew-Gaw for Grandmas Sale, and wouldn’t my son have a good laugh!

    Back to your insight – if I really dig deep and answer honestly, though, I think the whole gew-gaw thing is to replace the people I’ve lost with “things” that amuse and are whimsical and draw my eye with bright color or a very high glitter factor. I can’t live with pets indoors (allergies) and I travel too much to take good care of them anyway and after never having lived alone before, maybe when I found myself totally alone at age 45 I needed all this gew-gaw because I had to have something to love. Hmmmmmmm. And now, eight years later, I’m finding I don’t need it anymore.

    But don’t tell my son that! Smile.

  23. Peppermint, have you tried a nice shiny chicken? I have it on good authority that they are very distracting! LOL

    But seriously Peppermint, I’m glad to hear that I got you thinking (and not just defensively). Do you travel too much to have fish? My ex has fish (I got them when I was still with him, but left them there – I really didn’t feel like trying to move the tank) However my business is still at his place so I watch them for a while whenever I go, and I really enjoy it. They might be fish, but they do have a little bit of a personality.

    I’m really glad to hear that you found some insight.

    And don’t worry, I’d never tell your son!
    :o)

  24. Snapdragon: LOL – in fact I HAVE tried a nice shiny chicken, about 30 or 40 of them in fact! Chickens, along with pigs, started coming to me from friends and family once they saw that I had collected one or two for the gew-gaw shelves. Now I have chickens (and pigs) in the bathroom, going up the stairs, in the bedrooms, my office . . . you get the picture.

    And about the fish – how long can they be left w/out food? Sometimes I’m only gone 3-4 days, sometimes more. One of my sons used to have fish and I loved them, which was good since I ended up mostly taking care of them, along with his rabbit, rat, numerous geckos and a chameleon.

    Thanks again for the unexpected insight – those are the best kind! Maybe they’re the only kind now that I think about it . . .

    Have a great day everyone! Off to work.

  25. peppermint- you have grandchildren @ 45? I am jealous. I keep fish at my office. You can leave them with slow release food. I genereally do not leave them for more than two days without giving them flakes though.

    snapdragon- your office is at your X’s? How’s that workin’for you?

    cheers all from Pender Island BC!

  26. Cheers, to you to!

    She would be 53, Spinner (check her post again).

    Fish at the office is an idea Yeah, we feed the fish every other day – maybe someone could feed her fish while she’s gone. That doesn’t really help with coming home to an empty house, though.

    Ummm, office is a little too glorified, Spinner! I am a manufacturer, hopefully this is my last year. I do plaque-mounting (google it). Maybe you’ve seen it before – Costco offers it, as do many other places.

    As to your question, we’re doing a pretty good job of staying out of each other’s faces, just being friends. (hopefully he’s not thinking anything else). The kids are pretty much always there if I’m there, so that helps. So…. it’s not great, but we’re making it work, and I think it has probably been a lot easier on the kids.

    Pender Island, eh? I’ve been to the Island, but not Pender. Bet it’s beautiful! Do you work on Pender, or somewhere else? Do you mind my asking what you do?

    It’s hot here today (about 24) but by next week it’s supposed to get up to the low 30’s. How’s the weather there?

  27. Hi Snapdragon- I am glad that you are making the most of a difficult situation! We are visiting my millionaire brother- in law. It’s beautiful here today, we are right on the ocean facing south and west. They put me to work, but I don’t really mind. It was good physical excercise. There is always a lot going on. I am from Victoria. I am a manager for a financial plannning firm. I hire and train people to be financial planners and also manage a relataively small client base. Tomorrow is Canada Day so today was pretty much a free day. We are heading back to Victoria tomorrow. I like to have some transition time at home betweeen weekends and workdays wherever possible. I just function better if I have clean clothes and there is food in the fridge and no dishes in the sink. I guess it is a Virgo thing. Fortunately as I have said before my Pisces ascendant allows me to leave behind some of the trappings and pitfalls of Virgodom. You are also a Pisces ascendant, right?

  28. kashmiri- thanks! It is absoloutely stunning here. i have taken a respit from the sun to check in with the Elsa bloggers, but should check in with the others. Probably no astrology discussions out on the point, but it should be a good night for viewing the stars.

  29. Funny Spinner, the moment I read it, I’m thinking, “I have a Pisces Ascendant.” I have planets in Pisces, plus also in Scorpio and Virgo (those are the most) but also in Taurus, Sagittarius and Leo. So I’m with you on the Virgo thing, HOWEVER – I am really not as disciplined with the housework as I should be. It just seems like such a never ending chore… with 2 kids, 2 birds and 2 guinea pigs. Sheese.

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