“He’s captured,” I told the soldier, a couple days ago, letting him know where I was in the book, “Five Years to Freedom: The True Story of a Vietnam POW”. He’s thinking. This guy thinks so he’s in captivity and he thinks he’s going to be there for six months.”
“Yeah, it’s interesting. He’s only been there about a week he decides to put this line way out there, at six months. He mentally prepares himself to withstand captivity for six months which at the time seems way overblown. You know. I guess he thinks he’s going to be in there for a month so if he prepares himself mentally for six, he’ll be in good shape psychologically and this will be completely deal-able. He thinks he’s set…”
But this is not what happens of course. He finds himself in circumstances unimaginable for a protracted length of time. He witnesses and endures things it is difficult to fathom just reading about them and today I realized this story is familiar, in fact it is textbook for the Pluto transits in my life.
When my daughter first became ill, I thought it would be all right. Like, Rowe, I took stock of the situation and set my sights way out. A year of this and we’ll be through it, I thought. Okay, I mean 2 years… three years… four years… five years, during which time events unfold, horror on top of horror on top of horror and then more horror.
Rowe suffered from dysentery for almost the entire time he is held as prisoner which means he shit himself, locked in leg irons more times then a person would care to count and was made to lie in it. Matter of fact he shits himself throughout the entire book in various ways and circumstances and he states at one point that he was really glad he got sick right away, which he did.
He started shitting almost immediately after he was captured and at the time he was strong and vital and in peak condition. He says had this struck him for the first time, years into his stint as a prisoner, when he was frail, weak, starved, skinny, it would have been so demoralizing it would have done him in.
This is in line with Pluto transits as I have previously described them. Basically you keep getting taken to a deeper and deeper place, one more horrible than the last but you find if you are still your eyes adjust to the low light and you can make you way and you can do this because you have been degraded in degrees.
I equate this with the process I went through with my daughter but also to the time when my family moved out to the desert. I was 6 years old and we were told very succinctly that we were going to have a very hard time out there… by design.
I remember riding out there, leaving town for the last time. We’d made many trips to the desert prior as we had to build the house but this time we were going to get out there and stay out there, our new prison camp.
I had a lot of dread but again thought similar to Rowe, that this won’t be that bad. 9 years later I escaped after enduring the unimaginable and I’ll tell you want this has to do with you:
Saturn is square Pluto right now and people are thinking, “6 months”.
When Rowe was in captivity, Saturn was opposing Uranus and Pluto.
This summer we have those 3 planets involved in a t-square, hmm.
‘he was really glad he got sick right away’
i have felt this before, it’s such a strange feeling
‘if you are still your eyes adjust to the low light and you can make you way and you can do this because you have been degraded in degrees’
this is such a good thing to keep in mind… to paraphrase George Michael (from a recent Guardian interview) ‘If I’m going to live in prison, it may as well be a nice one’
now i know why i couldn’t answer on the ‘whether or not elsa is a writer’ post–you are who you are and i’d be a fool to try and define you:)
I think to kill myself but I didn´t… But I am death with life… do you understand?
And I have to live only horror horror and horror?
My God… I Can´t suport anymore…
Curitiba – Paraná – Brazil
But I live in São Paulo – São Paulo – Brazil
((Christiane)) Pluto is conjunct your Sun in Capricorn.
A Pluto-Sun transit IS a death of the self. A very hard transit. I’m sorry you have to live with this right now.:(
I have no words to offer you, other than it is possible to come out on the other side.
Very interesting. Sounds like I need to adjust my timeline on certain ideas I have regarding the future. Thanks.
Wow. Thanks for this Elsa. Exactly the confirmation I need.
wow…yesterday in a conversation with my husband he kept saying that things were going to turn around real soon and I just looked at him and told him that the feeling I got was the opposite…that we would be pushing ourselves like alligators through mangroves…slow and sludgy and that I hoped he could get his mind prepared for that and if it works out different, Hey!…won’t it be wonderful!
I’m having my Saturn return so this transit is affecting my Jupiter/Saturn conjunction. My man has transiting Pluto opposite his moon, setting off a t-square with transiting Saturn.
I am going in deep that’s for sure, and I feel like it’s only just begun.
((((Christiane))))) you hang in there!!!
I’ve been dealing with Saturn opp. Sun, and with Pluto square Sun (same time)…yup, I’m feeling lost and depressed much of the last year or so..
Not abusing drugs, but my Yoga practice is the only thing keeping me in my body these days…
Having no illusions that things will get better soon, just riding the wave to see what happens next
((Christiane)) I feel you, but don’t give up hope..
I am aware that some things are going down and will probably take years to hit bottom. I don’t know how to prepare (actually, in some cases I am preparing as best I can, then letting go) other than to note the deepening I feel, which really helps me stay grounded.
I have Mercury at 0’28 Capricorn, Venus 1’51 Capricorn. Since Pluto entered Capricorn, I’ve dealt with more ‘stuff’ than I ever thought possible. And I’m a strong person. Without boring everyone with all the bloody details, I’ll just give you the high(low)lights…layed off from job, husband’s hospitalization, death of my dog, Lily, my very serious health problems (psoriatic arthritis) fighting with health insurer, tornado blew two 40 ft. trees down on our roof, fought home owner’s insurance company, faced possible home foreclosure, start of “empty nest”, break up of a 27 year friendship.
As I have Sun at 9’02 Capricorn…I’m not out of the woods yet.
The good news is…I survived these things. The possible home foreclosure I was able to segue into a home loan modification. This task was formidable let me tell you. We lived on pins and needles for over a year whether we’d wind up homeless with lousy credit and no potential living arrangement options. Oh, and the paperwork the bank requested was unbelievable. Every time you submitted what was asked they’d either lose it or ask for something else.
The death of my best friend (my dog Lily) was the hardest to bear. I had her for nine years and this was truly heartbreaking.
My health has improved tremendously due to a great rheumatologist who diagnosed me and put me on a biologic immune suppressant called Remicade.
Looking back, I don’t know how I did what I did. Talk about ‘the dark night of the soul’…I just took it one day at a time and tackled each problem as it came up as best I could. How did I get through it? By the Grace of God.
Pluto is entering my 6th house !!!! hope he is going to be Friendly !!! and Saturn is in my 7th so i hope they became friends !!! Somehw !!!
Hope i can Improve my health and Work environment !!!
Best Wishes everybody !!!!
Just think I could list all the major big hits in my life & work backwards to see where Pluto was. I would say over which shoulder but it’s more like which body part or organ. I’m seeing gulliver w one, extremely powerful Lilliputian crawling all over him. Ties him up, torments him then gives him a very strong draught of one of those purgative psychedelics like ayahuasca. Pluto has conjuncted or squared every planet in my bc already (i’m 50). Now conj sun Saturn, next it will square my 12th house moon in libra, then sq ascendant/neptune conj. In scorp. If I live that long. Which I think I will. Wouldn’t want to miss out on all the fun :-). I remember wishing I would get sick enough to go to the hospital just so I could catch a break. My chart does have an upside, btw. W Pluto, it helped to learn that he ruled buried treasure. Cheers!
Sending hugs to you Elsa! This is an old post but I was reading it for the first time. I cannot even imagine what it must have been like. Blessings to you and your family.