Hi Elsa, I see you’ve written extensively and have lived through Pluto sweeping your 12th. I’m living it now and am wondering if it will literally kill me? I’m on the brink of homelessness, everyone I know seems to be karmic and end up turning against me and everything I try to do to pull myself out of it seems to get blocked in some way – applying for jobs to make money, etc. I’m in my thirties going through this and am feeling hopeless right now. Just looking for some insight and inspiration.
First, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Reading your note, my heart feels, gripped. This says something about you or maybe it is about you and I, because I’m telling you, I feel your words, deeply and they inform me.
It may be that I know the deep well you’re living in at this time, but I also know you’re going to get out of the well one day. I mean, I know. So what follows will be everything I can think of that might help you right now, today, as you move towards resolving this.
First, you’re not alone. I know it feels you are; I’m sure you scared to death, yet I note you are still persevering. You’re doing the right thing, which is very important when it comes to Capricorn. IT COUNTS.
Please try to internalize this! The 12th house dissolves. It can have you thinking and feeling, you’ve not been successful; therefore what you’ve done amounts to nothing, but that an illusion! You are methodically working through your problems in thick fog. There will be a time when the fog lifts and you see how this ordeal has transformed you. Something is truly happening at this time.
Second, PLUTO is associated with the collective. The 12th house blurs boundaries. It’s likely you’re carrying the weight or the burden (Capricorn / Saturn) of the collective (Pluto). All the fear, the free-floating despair that’s out there, is settling on you to an extent. You will compensated for this, eventually, but my point is you can think you’re absolutely hopeless and repulsive during this transit when in reality, there is no truth to that at all. If you feel this when your read this, please let these bad feelings dissipate and dissolve.
Next. I don’t know your brand of religion or spirituality, but you’re operating in the ethereal world with the 12th house. It’s possible to “offer your suffering”. As you’re sitting there, feeling like crap, simply state, you’re carrying this weight to spare others. You may be surprised at how this brings you relief. It also gives meaning and purpose to your suffering which can help you get some kind of handle on it.
It the difference between floating or drowning in the abyss vs being in the abyss with some light on the subject, and possibly something solid to hold on to.
One point in this is you are not failing. You’re living through extraordinary circumstances which are very likely not your fault at all.
When you see that; please avoid taking the victim position as it will completely disempower you. I believe these are the facts:
There is suffering in the world. Some suffer more than others and sometimes a person gets caught; it’s like being called for jury duty, really. I make the comparison because you don’t choose, jury duty. It comes to you. So you’ve been called to suffer at this time. Sounds stupid but it’s also the obvious case. You are living this!
Let me give you another example… you’re happily married and your spouse gets ill.. dementia. Not only do you lose your spouse, your life as you knew it disappears as you become a caregiver.
That is the level of pain of this transit. I want you to see it’s not a personal failing. This is PLUTO.
I hope you read this enough times, you really get it. If you were called to be a on jury, you may not like it, but you’d be on it. Would you not do your best? Probably. Well, that is all that is required with this transit.
Pluto will be changing signs soon but looking at this next bit, with Pluto still transiting Capricorn; this is a Saturn-flavored transit too. Saturn definitely restricts and Pluto makes that harsh, however Saturn also promises you’ll be supported so long as you stick to the principles (do the right thing, take responsibility).
You are doing both these things, that’s one of the reasons I know you’ll be okay! But you want to set your expectations, appropriately…
Saturn will provide the support you need to complete your task but virtually nothing more. Understand this so you’re not looking for some fabulous day in the middle of all this. It’s more like winter. There are no Spring flowers right now, so just accept this.
An example of what I mean is this note I’m writing for you! I am a Saturn figure and this is a raft you can climb on and float; with the understanding you are “serving” by “suffering”. It will help you and can help you solve your problems, but it won’t solve them for you. That’s Saturn!
Does dementia strike every spouse? No! But it does strike, so if it strikes you and not your neighbor, you’re essentially take the bullet for others. Hopefully understanding this, again, helps just a little. Just enough to make it through another day.
To be clear, you are not just suffering, but suffering to spare someone else. It’s a high calling.
Now astrology helps because it lets us know we’re not crazy; there really is something going on. It also tells us when an ordeal will end.
In this case, you’re looking at a shift in near future, when Pluto hits Aquarius. You might want to set a goal to reach that point; knowing the relentless BS will at least change up at that point. You’ll enter a new phase.
Also, try to remember you are learning. Not the education you wanted, perhaps. But you’re going to wind up with very deep wisdom when this is all said and done. No telling how it might be applied but if you need it, you’ll be glad you have it.
To directly address your note, I do not think you’re going to die and I also do not think you will be homeless. Those are powerful fears and you don’t want to invest in them too much or you’ll really spin down.
Instead, try to counter them. Saturn responds to counterpressure. Start slow and built yourself up; just like lifting weights.
“I’m going to wind up homeless.”
“Or not,” you respond.
This simple exercise will begin to shore you up. You’re parenting yourself, see? You don’t scare a kid whose alone in the dark so don’t do this to yourself. WAGMI We’re all gonna make it!
With a little practice, it will become this:
“I’m going to wind up homeless.”
“No I’m not, that’s a fear,” you respond.
Also, if you feel like crying, please do. Cry and cry, cry it out. Let tears spill, knowing they freeing you and healing you, because that’s part of this as well.
Last, it helped me to keep in mind, this is a one time transit; if you have it at all. You will never, ever, go through this again.
Please hang in there. Look for the Saturn figures; they’ll be around to let you know you’re on the right track. You will have the support you need to make it!
If anyone else can offer this gal support, please do!