I have updated the last Pluto Moon blog in the comments. I made a phone call to one of the gals after court and she clued me into the fact I misunderstood a term used in court. You can catch up on that story in the comments if you like – This is my new thing to say. It was going to be a comment but I realized it deserved it’s own piece.
This episode in court just goes to show you how close to an edge I am and the banana peel is right there. I’ve simply got to make my way through hell in the very low light and when something like this happens and I drop suddenly… well then I drop suddenly. And when I drop suddenly I can’t help but be made aware how close I am to just spinning out into the abyss.
I mean I don’t know but I think that edge is very close and I think the soldier (who has my back and knows way too much about this) thinks this as well. He has seen people suffer trauma and not recover and he’s seen it more than once.
Recover is the wrong word but perhaps you know what I mean. The person just loses it. They are never the same and you can’t even blame them. Sometimes people just fracture and he knows I’m in this territory.
A thing like today is very humbling but actually helpful because I just have to mind myself, that’s all there is to it. Turns out I was right to be concerned about court today. Turns out I am more fragile than I knew. I am more fragile and closer to the edge and this is the kind of thing you want to know if you’re expecting to survive something like this.
Look down if you must but for Godsakes don’t step… especially on the peel!
I’m glad you got a reprieve, and the Soldier by your side. You’ve had an amazingly rough time. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping for the best. Take care of yourself
GAH! Elsa…for a night off/out, please go see Man on Wire! It is freaking MINDBLOWING!
Love to you all
Sending you all good thoughts. I had Pluto transit to my Moon when I was 27. Needless to say, my Saturn return was a piece of key lime pie.
Yes watch out because the abyss will either kill you or Enlighten you, but either way things will never be the same.
Damn, E, take care! Steal extra bed and bath time with the Soldier, ‘kay? And I’ll send some extra-strong good vibes westward. *hugs*
Cassi and Loonsounds, so true.. The abyss, if seen clearly enough, if experienced honestly, becomes the elevator up and out of life as it was previously known
I guess “abyss” is another word that means different things to different people…
Good morning Elsa..I am glad to hear your soldier has got your back..times like these.. you gotta get sustenance whenever and however it shows up– hang onto him! Blessings and a hug from me.. you will emerge stronger, maybe not ever the same, but pressed into a diamond, girl!
An abyss is like the MOVIE “THE ABYSS.” Dark, black, and way way down there.
Well, I hope one shows up for you, and real soon….
i do get that shocking events and suffering can cause transformation but I don’t get the elevator comparison..
After falling into an abyss, it’s more like it takes herculean effort to claw your way back UP AND OUT of the hole.. and some people do not make it– like here in Az. every single freaking summer some tourist falls into the Grand Canyon, and is never to be seen again..
But up at Havasupai, the Indian village, you can climb down into the abyss, but after your hard long journey, they have a helicopter waiting to take you back up and out–
so–an elevator, a helicopter..SOMETHINGS’s gotta give,Elsa…
I’m in a weird kind of funk today–is this eclipse monumental or something??? Am having a hard time getting the astrologers professional grip on it–am caught up in it? What is UP???? I’m sad to say it but I have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like I did before 9-11 happened.. I thought maybe that assassination at the Dem. headquarters was a manifestation of the energy and then it would go away– but the feeling is still there.. hopefully some wonderful astrologer or psychic will tell me I’m all wrong..
I am in this place right now or somewhere nearby. My analogy is that it feels as if I am getting stoned to death (and not in the smoking sense). If someone keeps throwing rocks at you, some of them are going to hit – and many of them are going to hurt. Some of them might knock you down.
Togi – Sounds to me like you might want to pick up a large bat and swing… Sometimes you really have to fight back.
Yes maybe. What I mean when I say ‘abyss’ is a combination of major losses all converging at one point in time in a persons life so that the person (who has fallen into the abyss or finds him or herself in this abyss) suddenly feels that they have lost everything that ever made them who they are … and this is accompanied by a stark and sudden urgent sense of despair, accompanied by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, pointlessness, emptiness and existential despair of the most severe variety.
Prior to the awakening I would have had no other choice but to kill myself if I had fallen into the abyss and survived. Moreover, I could never have conceived of what an awakening through being in the abyss would have looked like, and I would have denied the possibility of it ever happening.