I have updated the last Pluto Moon blog in the comments. I made a phone call to one of the gals after court and she clued me into the fact I misunderstood a term used in court. You can catch up on that story in the comments if you like – This is my new thing to say. It was going to be a comment but I realized it deserved it’s own piece.
This episode in court just goes to show you how close to an edge I am and the banana peel is right there. I’ve simply got to make my way through hell in the very low light and when something like this happens and I drop suddenly… well then I drop suddenly. And when I drop suddenly I can’t help but be made aware how close I am to just spinning out into the abyss.
I mean I don’t know but I think that edge is very close and I think the soldier (who has my back and knows way too much about this) thinks this as well. He has seen people suffer trauma and not recover and he’s seen it more than once.
Recover is the wrong word but perhaps you know what I mean. The person just loses it. They are never the same and you can’t even blame them. Sometimes people just fracture and he knows I’m in this territory.
A thing like today is very humbling but actually helpful because I just have to mind myself, that’s all there is to it. Turns out I was right to be concerned about court today. Turns out I am more fragile than I knew. I am more fragile and closer to the edge and this is the kind of thing you want to know if you’re expecting to survive something like this.
Look down if you must but for Godsakes don’t step… especially on the peel!