The other day someone inquired regarding the condition of my hopes and wishes and dreams post Pluto’s transit of my 11th which I have reported wiped my slate clean on this front. It’s stunning to stand and survey your own barren landscape and realize you’ve not a hope or wish or dream in the world and I am glad this came up because I’d not thought about this since. 15 months later, I do have hopes and wishes and dreams again. They don’t even remotely resemble what I wanted prior the transit and for whatever reason this seems okay.
During the Pluto transit there came a point where I could see I was not going to have what I wanted or hoped for and eventually acceptance became the only option. Your house burns to the ground and you stand there in front of the charred ruins and do what?
In whatever case, my wiped out hopes and wishes and dreams have now been replaced with sprouts of new growth and comparing then with now, I can’t say I would like to go back in time and have my original set and I think this is because it’s just too large. “I wish there had not been a hurricane Katrina…” What good is that going do you? The fact is the hurricane came.
Last night the soldier was talking about his father’s death. He died young leaving the soldier’s mother devastated and saying, “It was not supposed to happen this way…” Hearing this, I realized that if I were in her shoes at this point in my life, I would never say something like that. I have no expectation whatsoever that my family survive and I meant that I have NONE.
I remember years ago (5?) the first time it hit me what a luxury it was for a parent to be able to say, “If something happened to my kid, I don’t know what I’d do.” I said it myself when my daughter was born. “I could stand anything as long as nothing happens to my child.” And then something happens to your child.
It’s like living through the great depression and seeing the stock market drop 89%. Once you witness something like that you no longer live with the erroneous idea your money is safe. For me that translates to, “I hope my son survives”. Do I have the expectation? No. I know I’ve got very little to say about it, perhaps nothing to say about it.
Post this transit, I can no longer be surprised (11th house) by loss (Pluto). Post this transit, I do have wishes and hopes and dreams but they are different from what I had before not just in how they are defined but in how I think and feel about them.
Basically, you try for what you want and you either get it or you don’t. This doesn’t mean you can’t get more then you want rather then less because this can happen too. You just have to live the best you can, play the cards they toss you, I don’t know what else to say.
Anyone else want to share their reality post major loss and trauma?
As Pluto transited my moon for the last couple of years in the 7th house, a long relationship suddenly left, then returned a year later and hovers in some nebulous state… 4 people in my life died unexpectedly within the last year: my cousin, my father, a music partner that I was completing an album with and a close family friend… I felt as if I had been rolled over by one of those big rolling machines.. completely flat. A close friend got very irate and started stalking/antagonizing me… Pluto in the 7th… very strange.. lately I realized though that while all this is going on, the most important thing to cultivate is one’s inner light. And doors opened to many good things while this was going on..
Biggest of hugs, Elsa,
Thank you for deep wisdom. Reading your words and reflecting on my Pluto transits down through my 55 years – while in recent years experiencing T Pluto merging with my Venus, Ceres and NN complex (Cap 1,2,3) pushing me to post feeling called to this question…
The other side of Pluto transits is humility and power.
Pluto transits are simply bigger than we are, they blow our ego structures away, they force us through our fears into a state of surrender to the Cosmos.
After destroying they rebuild. Wherever Pluto is in our natal charts we will need to reinvent ourselves, that’s what the astrology books say. But again, who is this “I” who is reinventing my “I” – not me that is for sure!
Worse way to approach a Pluto transit is to be egotistical. Pluto transits are humbling. People cry, “I am losing everything!” but that is not true. You’re just losing scenery and props. And death happens. Change requires changing. I now believe deeply that Pluto transits are easy for humble surrendered honest people who can manage to practice trust in the Cosmos. I learned to pray and meditate like never before when Pluto conjuncted my Saturn in Scorpio on my descendant. Bad divorce, death threat from a mafia, dropped from being wealthly to living on $500 a month over-night, shunned, frightened, innocent and never been out of the nest before!
Now I know the Divine is alive and well and bigger than me and I am happy.
Wouldn’t wish my life on anyone but it has done me a whole world of good. I’m certainly not the person I was back then. I’m better, much better.
Just read all the archival posts as well as this. Heavy indeed & I empathize. Wondering when Pluto entered your 12th? It sounds like we have some similar placements (signs in houses) & like I said, I empathize. Pluto through my 11th left me pretty naked & knowing the 12th is all about endings and really feeling that, I’m wondering when the rebuild begins…
p.s. Pluto is currently opposing (exactly) my 8th house natal Pluto which is conjunct my moon in Libra. And Saturn is transiting…
A lot of loss over a lot of years to say the least. But also strangely comfortable with it.
The illusion of control or that things “must” work out is gone. When it hits, after the grieving, there isn’t much left but acceptance. Whaddya gonna do? Spend the rest of your life denying what’s in your face? I guess people try, but I’m not one of ’em.
I actively work to find lessons, bigger truths and a perspective that is workable for me as much as possible because it makes the pain seem like less of a waste.
I am also more aware than ever of what I DO have, and feel a more profound appreciation for areas where I am blessed.
had pluto transit trine saturn/conjunct neptune a few years ago. fourth and eleventh houses. had a baby, saw the foundations of what i believed were my friendship with my best friend crumble, and my entire ideas about reality and existence fell into a state that wandered in and out of nihilism. a very cold scary place, sometimes. but i had my baby. which taught me a lot about what really mattered. and i’m now happier than i’ve ever been, and i wouldn’t have achieved that without burning my unstable ideas down first. not that i wanted to at the time.
Yes I can absolutely relate this this. I have so many little deaths happening, my values, certain people in my life are backing away, my place of residence is about to change, my marriage is in a flux and on the way out dying a slow death. And I am going into a short bout of therapy to work all this out. Pluto is transiting my second house and conj. with my Venus and Square my Saturn in the 11th house (also ruled by Libra). And although I feel incredibly sad, I feel like if I don’t surrender to this change, I will be crushed under it. Hopefully good things are to come from this.
Pluto is crossing my ascendant (Cappie) as we speak and it is demolishing everything in sight! Everything about me is already changing and at a much more rapid pace than I thought because so far as I know, Pluto is slow. However, I have had Saturn transiting my 8th (Virgo in my chart) which is also a house of death and rebirth and boy have I died inside and been reborn! This could be why the changes in my personality and character are more rapid. That’s my guess. But I’m not fighting it anymore and just going with the flow. That’s the secret I think.
“It’s like living through the great depression and seeing the stock market drop 89%. Once you witness something like that you no longer live with the erroneous idea your money is safe.”
I feel the same way about my marriage. When that fell apart, I lost a lot of my critical and judgmental nature. Because I’d seen what people can do when they are at their worst. And I gained some compassion for myself. But acceptance is a really good way to say it.
That photo looks like my neighbourhood after Hurricane Andrew ( Homestead FL., 8/24/92 ) ! That one was apparently part of my Saturn Return festivities. We got Katrina too, but it only caused widespread flooding — nothing like the gut-punch that the Gulf Coast got; but then we got Hurricane Wilma devastation a scant seven weeks after Katrina. Saturn was aspecting my Sun then. Then while it was still aspecting my Sun, my ex-husband died, and with him; my dreams of having a dad for my kids to grow up with.
Then, Mars squared Pluto and transited at least my third house in the process; making the aftermath of my children’s loss appear to have all the potential for a complete disintegration of what was left of our family. Lots of hopes and dreams abandoned to just focus on getting everyone through it in one piece. Seriously, nothing else mattered except us being healthy and together ! I’ve worked my ass off just to stabilise them (and me) and stand in the void of ‘what’s next ?’ Just grateful to heal…
To Elsa and the rest of you with your own stories to tell, I send you light and hold the intention that each of you can find your own peace with what is; and be brave enough to even dare to be happy with where you are. Namaste
This really resonates with me, Elsa. When my marriage went south, the one gift I received was losing my judgmental streak. We’re all capable of great acts of kindness or stunning cruelty. Acceptance is a very eloquent way to say it. But, for me, the road to that acceptance was very slow and very painful. I’m kinda feeling like my transits are done beating me up, but I’m still getting that last “Don’t you ever come back here” face mashing in the dirt before I can get up and dust myself off.
“…the one gift I received was losing my judgmental streak.”
LCDS – thanks for making that point. I was thinking along these lines today in regards to someone I really struggle with. My thought was, “I guess nothing bad has ever happened to her…”
And a few seconds later, “Yet”.
In this way the curse is a blessing because it gives you at least the chance to grow up and stop being an asshole. Not that this guaranteed,
Pluto is still transiting my 11th (and if I’m correct, I still have Moon square Pluto going on as well)…I think I’m coming to the acceptance phase. I honestly don’t think it will hurt more than it already has. And if something should come out of left field right now, I think I’d just shrug & keep on moving along…Oddly enough, I do fairly well w/the Pluto energy…but that doesn’t mean it’s less jarring…
Much love to you and yours, Elsa <3
Lol! No, Elsa, it’s not guaranteed. Why is that?
And even then, these kinds of “deaths” never really ensure that people are gonna get anything out of them. My ex has been this kind of person, someone who hides from his “deaths” or doesn’t admit to letting them bother him (Libra ASC who errs on the side of saying nothing whenever possible, Pluto 12th house…did I ever really know him?) And he has both impressed me and disappointed me profoundly throughout our experience. Realizing that I’m guilty of the same has given me some humility! (read: I am no Doris Day, but I might be Betty Draper!) He seems to have gotten a bit of humility, too. But not with the same flair for drama as the Scorpio ;P
Absolutely not guaranteed. I was shocked when I found this out. I will write about this if I get a chance.
Goddess, what you wrote is humbling. I am one of those people that will not accept what is, and I’ll fight it to my last breath. (Or until I can’t fight anymore. It feels the same either way.)
I have a very big problem with the thought that anyone other than me, whether corporeal or some benevolent sky-dweller, has more to say about my life than I do. It makes acceptance of things I didn’t choose difficult to say the least. *big sigh*
Obviously I need to work on this. Mah ego — it gets in the way. :/
my reality post Pluto conjuncting my Moon… I’m amazed by you people who can verbalize yours.
I have been fighting with pluto for a long time. Feels like eternity. Looking back I noticed pluto had been transiting my midheaven in scorpio about the time I experienced biggest losses in my life. My grandparents died within few years, and my mother passed away before I was 14. The feeling of abandonment has been huge ever since.
about 2000 pluto entered my 12th house. the following years transits to my ASC neptune, descendant sun+mercury and square to my virgo moon totally destroyed my self esteem. Relationships never developed anywhere, my studies were delayed and interrupted, i never worked in one place more than few months. Lots of things happened and most of them ended up quite painfully. last 10 years of my life i have felt like drifting and melting away. Most of my life i’ve been kinda confused, must blame my 12th house neptune, but the inner pain and disillusionment i had to go trhough over the years made me really self destructive.
The worst of pluto transits had already passed when I was hospitalized due to my depression.
Now pluto has left my ascendant sign and transiting 1st house is finally giving me some strenght. With this mars retrograde I started psychotheraphy and there is hope i can finally find out who i am and what i want from life.
Pluto teaches hard lessons. I hope I have been good student.