When Pluto transits your Moon, feelings surface, you can be sure of that. Deep feelings that are rooted in the past. And last night the soldier told me what I already knew but the information registered differently.
The fact is he walked away from me and 2 weeks later, he married a woman he’d known for about 10 days. He didn’t bother to tell his family until it was already done… his wife was pregnant almost immediately and his fate was sealed.
Meantime, I didn’t know he was gone. I thought he would be back for the longest time. I denied (Neptune) reality (Saturn) in an attempt to stave off painful emotions which eventually overtook me.
So last night (and today) I am re-experiencing them and oddly enough it’s a bit of a comfort. Where I suffered in a vacuum before these things have now been aired and I feel empowered. I survived this, see? And it gives a fine opportunity.
Since this is not real pain I am experiencing in the moment, but just the memory of pain, I am able to be in it and sort through it looking for deeper connections, ie: what does this have to do with my family? And when you make these ties it’s a real glory. I love this kind of deep work. It makes my heart sing.
Do you like sorting through your psyche? And do you have planets in Scorpio or the 8th house?
Other posts – “Pluto transit to the moon – Mine“
Cool! That is, the empowerment that comes from airing and the comfort it can bring. Been there done that with my Moon/Pluto conjunction….in the 7th….which can be verrrry painful, but is part of the work!
So Elsa, you have me thinking about my own Pluto transit Moon experience. It was a square in 1984/1985, the first half concurrent with my first Saturn return, so I was 29-30 years old.
My husband and I had moved out to Berkeley in 1981 where I had been accepted at grad school, but he couldn’t seem to find/hold a job, and so I agreed to detour from the grad school idea and work while he wrote (science fiction). I was successful and promoted rapidly up the ladder, but when I was offered a cushy division job in Los Angeles he freaked and insisted we move back to Colorado and so I took a lesser job there. My parents were also ending their marriage.
Then the transits hit, Pluto squaring my Virgo Moon and Saturn (retro in Scorpio) return, and I basically had a nervous breakdown, including panic / anxiety issues and agoraphobic symptoms. I panicked going to the store! I am also very dense and even when my husband showed zero support, only anger at having to work a job (instead of write) I remained clueless as to just how self-centered he is. I really didn’t learn all that much because my Saturn can be is 1) rather thick – I need several beatings with a 2 X 4, and 2) never gives up, and keeps doing what I think I “should” do (along with my Virgo Moon), which in my case was shoring up with lots of self help techniques and gradually making my way back into success with the business world so that my husband could continue his writing. This is called the Pluto/Moon alter ego syndrome.
Long story short, the Pluto/Moon pain of that particular experience (there are more !) is just now coming to complete resolution with Pluto conjunct my Lunar North Node (and of course opposite the South Node). He left me when my daughters were 2 and 6 yrs. old after planning the divorce for two years without discussing a word of it with me….I knew things weren’t easy but I had no idea…and the bottom line reason was that the experience of having children brought me more into myself with a knowing that I needed to prioritize mothering and find income outside of the 9 to 5 world….i.e. his “sugar mama” was disappearing. It only took me a few months to figure out how lucky I actually was that he left!
No planets in 8th H. But the last few weeks have been dealing with pluto/venus issues. What I thought I had dealt with, is resurfacing and throwing me for a loop.
Also moon/pluto in 7th(virgo..analyse, analyse) sextile ruler neptune in scorpio and in 8th (dig, dig, dig) and with mercury & asc forming a rectangle to the mix (which also incs uranus, jupiter & chiron) I can’t avoid the endless f***ing trips to my psyche, man it never ends, sigh.
So i really have no choice but to try & embrace each one and learn whatever it is i’m sposed to learn. At the end i love it and always amazed at what i’ve learnt and the connections i get. But initially i resist and even when i know it’s pointless to i still evade and resist. Lazy Taurean see, just rather enjoy the good life and be oblivious.
Three planets in Pluto and yes! I love going through my psyche.
Moon and ascendant in Scorpio, 8th house Cancer Venus. Yes, I love to sort through the deep stuff.
It’s weird, Elsa I feel like I understand the comfort level in re-living painful and deep-rooted emotions. It’s almost like you can observe yourself, in the past, from the vantage point as someone older and wiser. I have re-experienced some very old memories and I (somewhat) welcome them. I am only myself afterall, and if I indeed subscribe to the belief that time is non-linear, I cannot deny the re-surfacing emotions tied to experiences in the ‘past.’
Please keep us updated…and thoughts and love to you and your family as always.
O, and my 8th house is empty
Natal moon @ Aries in 8th,trine natal Uranus in Leo in 12th,transiting Pluto in 4th trining those two.How’s it all shaking out?Currently relocating to US from the Middle East,best friend just given diagnosis of terminal cancer,husband retiring,beloved family dog has had a series of seizures and diagnosed with diabetes-has to have insulin shots daily.A little like falling off the raft,going down the rapids but amazingly getting the chance to surface and get a good breath and see the beautiful scenery before I go through the rapids again.