The worst crisis for me to have is a crisis of faith. I made a series of videos some time ago about how I felt all things were resolved in the 12th house. If this is true, it means it lose your faith, problems become unresolvable.
Pluto is stationary at the moment, so extra potent. Personally it’s transiting my 12th house. This could potentially this could signify the death of my faith. I might see my faith destroyed and I have come right up against this over these last months and it just knocks you for a loop.
During Pluto’s transit of my 11th house, every hope and wish I had was decimated. However each time I got creamed I came up with a new hope or wish. The new hope or wish would also be slammed into the rocks, or squished like a bug and then I would come up with another new hope or wish.
I see this pattern now. I am a renewable resource is all. It’s my nature. So while my faith may be dealt a death blow, I’ve no choice but to come up with some more faith and the new faith is deeper (Pluto) then the faith that was killed however don’t for one minute think this is automatic. It is painful, grueling process and so another aspect of this transit is revealed to me.
I have faith. I have always had bucketfuls of faith but what I am finding with Pluto in my 12th is just how deep it goes.
Didn’t mother Teresa go through what they call the “dark night”? They said she went through it for years. If I have time, I want to read the book someone wrote about it. It’s fascinating to me.
I’ve been through a two-year period where one thing after another was destroyed – fire, death, breakup. And a friend commented, “I can’t understand it. All this happens to you, and you just keep getting back out on the field. You’re like a football player with no teeth and a concussion.”
When he put it like that, I didn’t realize I had “that” (whatever “that” is. Faith?) in me… I really never thought there was any other way. Give up? Nah.
And years later – and it did take some years – things have really turned around. Faith is easier when you’ve got what you want and things are going well but, man, when you’re getting blasted. Yeesh. That’s hard.
I have come to the conclusion that for me, faith has simply become, “just keep going”. Just get up tomorrow, do the Mom thing, go to work, come home, get dinner, start all over again tomorrow. I could not ever say that something may happen to me, in addition to all the other things I have dealt with, that would not be the final blow. But so far, I have just had to deal – one of the hardest things for me was when my daughter had a serious side-affect to a medication. Her doctor assured me he was certain it would eventually go away – she was having tremors, and it was horrible, oh so horrible. And it did – but took about 2 or 3 months to completely subside. I think that was the first time in my life I was truly suicidal, because I blamed myself for making the wrong choice for her. But somehow I just kept getting up, and going on, so for me I think “faith” is just making that choice.
That is so true Elsa…I don’t know what transits were going through my chart years ago, but they were harrowing…we lost our second child to SIDS, my mother and father died within a year of each other……and then some….and at the time I questioned “why”, but just get putting one foot in front of the other and as time enfolded I realized the blessings that were given to me in return. People have often asked me how I could get through a child dying and the answer is ….you just do….or I knew I did…I had other children that needed me and a husband that needed me. I remember my doctor suggesting a group therapy for parents that have lost children….I went one time and there was a woman who had lost her child seven years before and she spoke of it as if it just happened, with the same pain and tears and I knew I could not go back….and maybe that was faith in myself…knowing what I needed to get me through….
I did read Mother Theresa’s journals that were turned into a book and they were truly inspirational. That was a good one DoubleCappy!
i went through something like that when pluto transited my natal neptune.
i guess my generation did…
i will say that, at least, the faith that came out through it was, yes, significantly more powerful.
and, yes, it’s a painful, grueling process.
this post has me thinking about other people’s experience with 12th house pluto transits, and different ages of people.
pluto through the 12th house was unbearably hard for me. but MAN it was fruitful. I was 18 when it started.
I lost the faith I was raised to be a part of (christianity) but I gained knowledge of astrology which I obviously feel resonates intensely. and I’m happy I “grew up” (my 20s) through this transit. I had so much to learn. I HAD to learn it. Thank god I did and I don’t have my head up my ass as much as I used to. Sometimes it is embarrassing thinking about how out of it I used to be, but…::shrugs::
I think this will continue to feed me my entire life.
Sounds like you’re describing me, too, Elsa. That kind of “get hit, get up, do it as many times as necessary” thing.
Very familiar to me.
Rather frightenly pluto transited my 12th house in my childhood – ages 2-14. For me they were pretty dark days as was life while it transited my first house. I never looked at that before but I do feel that life for me has been utterly plutonic in character always.
It’s great that you see the depth of your faith Elsa. I can’t imagine life without it. I’m sending you some good wishes.
A lot of loss was mentioned in this post and I wanted to extend my sympathy. Also, my admiration for your courage, determination and faith…even when faith means nothing more than putting one foot in front of the other. You are all inspiring. And thanks to Elsa for creating a safe place here….
To me, faith that isn’t questioned, honed, and sharpened against the grind of life isn’t really faith at all, it’s more of an illusion of faith.
Sometimes you have to shatter the mirrors to see the true thing, but you’re right in that’s it’s painful. Those mirror shards will cut you, every time.
But what’s left after the mirrors are shattered to dust and the illusions are stripped away is deeper and stronger, and more substantial. It’s the bottom of the iceberg. 🙂
Man, I’m full of mixed up metaphors today.
your metaphors are brilliant carielle, thank you.
The 12th house cannot be harder than Pluto in your own sign (the first house)!
Pluto was in my sign for 13 years and dominated my youth!
But then again, I never lived through a 12th house transit and I’m just assuming the first house is hardest.
I don’t think Pluto though the 12th is the hardest.
Venus def has a hard time with Pluto (2nd and 7th) and I think the Sun (5th) does as well.
I just think it’s awesome that Elsa has this blog where people around the world can get support. It was a great help to me when Pluto was trying to kill me.
tam i think your ‘ha ha bitch you got demoted’ comment stands out as one of the funniest things i’ve ever read on this blog…and i think it to myself sometimes when i feel particularly overwhelmed, so thanks:)
I struggle with faith all the time. All the time. When I feel the void, I rail at it, and when I feel the connection, I inevitably question it. I wish I could bottle the faith formula for easy access when the going gets rough.
pluto transited my scorp 10 H sun- and my scorp.grandfather adopted me- ‘changed fathers’- very difficult time. external happenings
when he tango danced to and fro my 12th H venus- i thought i would go crazy-internal- but had a def. awakening of self- i found peace of mind with prayer, astrology- self awareness, and a mental clearing of the decks- this is leading to a new philosophy- keep nothing in- just say what you gotta say when you gotta say it- politely. faith in living above the board at all times and demading it from others-nicely.
as far as faith goes, i really appreciate people sharing their personal experiences-thank-you.
Glad to have been of help kashmiri! I make fun as a way of coping. The worst thing about Pluto is that it is sooo slooow. Gah. It just grinds away unmercifully.
Link to Tam’s ‘bitch’ comment? LOL 🙂
Elsa, I really appreciate you sharing this stuff as it’s so slow-developing and your perspective just builds. Really great to read.
Oh nice, let’s see, lived through Pluto conjunct Sun (ruled by Venus), my whole 5th, and now my 7th. Guess if I can live through all this shit, my Venus will be comfy for life. At least my 2nd gets a break in this lifetime!
tam…ah yes humour, must have one with pluto! lol…jessica, i think it’s on the board thread ‘what happened during the worst transit of your life” thread.
Just scroll down until ya find the smartass!LOL
Aww Elsa. What astrologically accounts for you having so much faith? Jupiter? Or something else?
Jupiter and neptune both, I’d say.
Pluto is 2 degrees into my 12th house now (Capricorn) and I am already feeling the effects.. over the next handful of years it will conjunct natal Uranus, Neptune, Lilith (dont know if that’s significant or not as I am fairly new to astrology..) and my North Node. Saturn has just entered my sun sign of Libra and will hang around for 2 and a half years I’m told.. I am also 18 – and my first nodal return is on the way in March/April of this year. I also have a small but strong stellium in Scorpio in the 9th (Mercury, Mars, natal Pluto) and Pluto is conjunct my MC.. a very strong planet in my chart.. while my sun sits directly on the boundaries between the 8th and 9th houses…
I guess a lotttt of changes are headed my way. I feel like I am growing up, exponentially.
When Pluto first entered my 12th I experienced a kind of emotional crisis. I grew up with an abusive father and the abuse changed in nature over time but really had continued up until my senior year of highschool, last year. I cut him off completely, threatened him into counseling (which I should not have done, ethically..) but now we are just beginning to sort out our histories together. It is terrifying but very transformative.
During this time I also discovered astrology.. met some interesting characters with fantastic spiritualities and I am exploring them with them.. They are encouraging me to try meditation, and I have always wanted to – but the more I read about the 12th house.. the house of the hidden, the transcendent and spiritual, the subconscious.. and the nature of Pluto.. leading us to tear down and rebuild with what is better, more substantial, more meaningful.. I feel that it is not so much PUSHING me – but leading me right to the next step. What I am ready for. It is strange though, because before these people made their way into my life, before I was led to the next ‘step’.. I was already unconsciously preparing for them.. I guess it was an intuitive thing. The most ironic part of all? For the first time in my life, though so much is changing all at once – I have never felt a greater faith in the unknown. North node in the 12th asks me to have this kind of faith – so I’m sure Pluto coming through the 12th for me will be the ‘make or break’ of that faith.. Probably depends on the aspects.
“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”
Anyway, pardon the rant! Elsa your blog is incredible, and with my Mercury in Scorpio I have heartily enjoyed reading your articles on Pluto, faith and all things in between. Thank you for writing and I hope you continue to!
Thanks, Kayla and welcome. 🙂
Pluto is into my twelfth house now.
Initially it brought brought zen stories and buddhists friends.
Thereafter a genetic disease of hypothyroid came to surface at a later stage after repeated misdiagnoses.
A crisis of faith I went into when 8 docs put me on wrong medications and I had side effects ,had to lose my job,my alcoholic father in denial and high strung mother could barely take care,I had so much the tree of knowledge that faith became difficult.
But now my faith is returning.I am helping myself with alternative healing methods such as reiki and pranic healing and try to meditate as most meditations I know are more of breathing exercises but I have allergic rhinitis and nasal blockage:-(.
But my friends have stood by like guardian angels in this difficult time.I have a 5 planets stellium in scorpio natally,pluto venus conjunct ninth house midheaven,saturn sun and moon in scorpio as well.Neptune is in the twelfth house and transiting pluto is conjunct it.Saturn just quit eight house by transit.
God alone knows how I survived it all.
Am going through a really tough time.Trust me am the extremely patient sort and wouldnt complain at all.
Currently, Pluto is transiting my 12th house. I have had the misfortune of losing all of my materialistic values that I had and it surely tested my faith. But I found that with as much loss of my materialistic values (which can be replaced), I gained the loss in psychic potency. My psychic potency is through the roof that it is a bit disturbing to myself. I feel the need to withdrawal and isolate and feel drained by people in general. I definitely found a love for solitude.
I’ve also begun focusing more on meditation and metaphysical studies. It has been bringing these types of people in my life as well. I would say that Pluto transiting the 12th house is challenging because it does bring to the surface things that are hidden… things that are hidden to myself but may be visible to others. Things that I have deeply buried in the deep recedes of my mind from my childhood and other events/traumas also have flooded my conscious. I process new emotions with them but am able to find self-healing through it.
Just thought I would add my 2 cents.
Thank you, Elsa, for this post! It was like reading a page out of my own journal. Pluto has been hanging around my 12th house for years, with no sign of leaving for a little while longer. In that time I’ve basically dismantled the “good” life I had (it’s been a classic example of how the road to hell is paved with good intentions), and in the process stopped trusting my once reliable intuition and unshakable faith. In the process I’m sloooowly learning to deepen my faith, connect to that which is real for me, and act on my intuition in the world with conviction and a sense of surrender. Many blessings!