Pluto Transit Effects On Marriage & Divorce

Divorce proceedings c. elsaelsa.comI was talking to a client yesterday, about Pluto’s transit through Libra, which transformed relationships.  Divorce gained acceptance (in America) at that time. It’s since become common and even usual.

Pluto’s transit through Capricorn might be showing us the results of this. Libra and Capricorn square each other. I like this topic and wrote this in 2013:

I work with people around the world. Their views on marriage vary greatly. Some people marry strictly for themselves.  Others consider their families, to the point where they will not marry someone their family disapproves of.

It’s the same thing with divorce.  I’ve seen many situations where a man or a woman wants to leave their marriage. Their family forbids it. It’s not something a person is free to do!

I’m an American. Most people around the world think we’re very lax when it comes to this kind of thing. We have a lot of freedom.

Whether this is good or bad can be debated, but here’s something that may surprise you: it was not that long ago that things were seen in a different light.

When my oldest sister left her husband after eight years of marriage, my father refused to talk to her.  He shunned her, telling her that he’d talk to her once she went home.  I remember being very shocked by this at the time. I grew up with Pluto in Libra. Consequently, I grew up on the cusp of a pervasive change in attitudes around marriage and divorce.

I think this is good for the field I’m in. It allows me to understand a range of views on this.  I’m lucky too. I feel this subject is very interesting.

When it comes to marriage and divorce, does your family have a say in it, or do you feel it’s your life / your decision?  Have you experienced a shift around this, in your lifetime?

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Pluto Transit Effects On Marriage & Divorce — 25 Comments

  1. My mother has been married three times and wore a white gown for her third isle. I’d say marriage is no longer something sacred, but an illusion to union of souls.

    • “I’d say marriage is no longer something sacred, but an illusion to union of souls.”

      shanna, thanks for that.
      I have the outer planets transiting my Mercury in Libra and the union of souls is the main topic of conversation around here.

      I really appreciate you raising this. It is hard for me to find someone to converse with.

    • My apologies for nitpicking shanna, but do you mean an ‘illusion of union of souls’ or ‘allusion to union of souls’? I don’t understand what you mean by ‘illusion to’ and am genuinely curious.

  2. My mom really liked my ex. Always took his side. She was married three times.

    The rest of my family…Poppa has always been a respectful distance type, since I am prone to do as I please anyways, this *is* supportive, to me.
    I have noticed that my man has to like my family, and they him, for me to be happy. Or at least make serious “get along” efforts.
    Makes all the difference, really. B and my family all like each other, and that makes life really nice. Get togethers are FUN!

  3. I got married by my parents choice 13.5 years ago, knew my husband only 3 days before we got marraige. My mom made allowed me to go out and talk with him for twice before my marriage, though my husband’s family or my dad didn’t know anything about it. My mom was allways broad/open minded, so she able to take this risk for me and she was confident on me that I’ll not hide anything from her.

    Tornedo came to my marriage life … I stayed because of my mom. My mom died 4 months ago. Still I think to stay in my marriage life just for my kids. Kids need parents. So its never my decesion.

  4. when my then husband told me he was leaving me, my family wouldn’t help me move out. they were all divorced and thought somehow that by refusing to help me they could facilitate me saving my marriage. only I’d already done backflips trying to save my marriage and failed. and he just wanted me out, wouldn’t pay the bills anymore, and I had no access to the money.

    in life you have to learn to trust people (the right people) in order to be vulnerable and to grow. and people can make that very difficult.

    that’s the catch 22 of life: you have to learn to genuinely let people in, yet be an entirely self-saving princess when you fall alone.

  5. so I guess what I’m saying is even multiply divorced people don’t necessarily have their shit together on how to approach divorce and family stability.

  6. I would really rather prefer my family likes him. I see how disruptive it is when the family doesn’t. But if you aren’t close to your family/don’t want to spend time with them, then you have more freedom not to care.

    The interesting thing about marriage/divorce for me is that even though I, just by virtue of being a young American woman, would probably be characterized as someone who is very permissive or unemotional about divorce, I actually would regard it as a colossal failure if I were to divorce. Hell, I was ashamed when my parents got divorced! I felt personally “broken” and didn’t want anyone else to know my parents couldn’t hold it together.

    • yeah same, i prefer my family likes him, and his family likes me. We personally don’t like having any upsets/problems in the family since after all –there are a ton of problems OUT there to deal with already. Having a harmonious family life is very precious to us. I’m glad too that my sisters have a very harmonious marriage/relationship family life as well. I guess we could all be considered “boring” and that’s fine w/ us.

  7. My mother was shunned by her church for marrying a divorced man (my father). Her parents were disgusted with him, too. My dad has always accepted other people’s insults as opinions, not facts, and so doesn’t care if he’s liked or not.
    But get this: because of my mother’s (hypocritical!) ‘moral views’ we weren’t allowed to have friends whose parents divorced growing up. I was born in 1977, so you can imagine the friend pool shrinking as time went on, and divorce becoming more common. My mother was still really hung up on the idea that if a kid came from a divorced home, then they had no way to have family values, and thus she didn’t want to expose me to that.
    I think (hope) she’s more tolerant now, but I have no way of knowing because I avoid talking about this stuff with her. When she does talk about divorce, she very much insinuates that the two people who got divorced just weren’t good enough or trying hard enough. She did not care one speck that my previous relationship fell apart. At all. She couldn’t even hide her glee–she thought I was with the wrong man. As for marriage, when I told her I was postponing the wedding, she laughed and said ‘well it doesn’t mean anything, anyway.’ And she meant it. Most recently when my partner was ill, she insinuated I’d leave. I reminded her that I’m engaged. She just said ‘oh yeah…right.’ She likes my partner, it’s not that. It’s that she has done a real 180 since I was a kid.

    Oh well. The good thing is, it’s unnecessary I invite her, lol.

  8. Oh and hell yes it’s my decision, just as it was my mother and father’s decision. I know my dad wants us all married before he dies, but he doesn’t know that I know. My uncle told me and then made me promise not to tell that he’d told me.

  9. My parents didn’t seem to care whether I got married at all, although my mom tried to fix me up a few times, which never worked out very well. And my father wanted me at home to look after his house after my mother died, so he would disparage me to any man I dated… after a while I wouldn’t bring them home any more. I found it was more my neighbours that would look disapprovingly at me when I dated someone who was divorced, because my parents couldn’t care less.
    It would have been nice for my mother, at least, to be interested and encouraging when it came to that (what my father thought was irrelevant to me), but it’s always been my decision and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  10. My family has strongly impacted how I view marriage. But I definitely would not stay married for my family. My mom and dad have each been married three times. Both sets of grandparents were divorced. And among my great-grandparents, one marriage was a symbol of how wretchedly unhappy a marriage can be. My parents had six children and still divorced after 10 years. I married someone I loved and respected and who loved and respected me in return. When we went through a rough spot, I finally told him the cold, hard truth. I have one life. I could be happy living with him or I could be happy living without him. But I was not going to be unhappy living with him. This made a huge change in how he tried to resolve issues. Making me miserable was not going to give him the upper hand in our relationship. It was going to end our marriage. We have been together for over 30 years. We live a happy life and we support each other. For me, I wouldn’t settle for anything less.

    • ‘I have one life. I could be happy living with him or I could be happy living without him. But I was not going to be unhappy living with him.’
      This is an amazing quote.
      In my recent years I *was* unhappy living with him, now I *am* happy living without him 🙂

  11. I grew up in a Catholic family in the 50s and 60’s… married at 18 (shotgun) in 70’s. Divorced in 80’s!!!

    When we were living together before marriage my mother called it ‘living in sin. ( rolls eyes!!)
    Divorce was traumatic and shattering… even if the best thing. Was also freeing . Saturn return. Luckily me a Cancer and he a Cap…we stayed amicable for the sake of kids and did well at co- parenting. Family still likes him and tho areacross country still are fond of him.
    Cusp of change as well so i guess bit of both. Rest of family marriages still intact after 30 years. .. yet no one blames or judges me. I am an artist and astrologer…Uranus Sun Merc conjnct. Guess they just expect me to be different. Lol.

  12. My grandmother divorced in 1953, very uncommon here then and both my mother , aunts and uncles , have all but one been divorced once. As family we interfere too much in each others relationships, but all the people divorced (in-marrieds) are still apart off our family…. I think it means less socially in my family, but I know my grandmother is very concerned with our love “health” , it’s important to her that we marry someone we love (if we marry)

  13. Wow! Great topic! I have finally owned up – sort of – to the fact that I am unwilling to commit. I mean, even for getting together next Tuesday! I married because my live-in kept insisting and insisting. I didn’t get why anyone would want to marry, so it was his sheer persistence. Oh, and we eloped and did not marry in the Church. My mother was horrified because she said he HAD to raise our children as Catholics. I assured her that the Catholic school staff had rapped him on the head one time too many, that that wasn’t an issue. Pregnancy? No way I could have committed to that – luckily the Universe chose for me! Divorce? Well, it eventually became clear that if we stayed together there was going to be a homicide – one side or the other – my sister did come help me move. My parents approved, and, in fact, my parents were convinced til they died that HE had driven me to drink, and I would never have become an alcoholic but for him. I have been divorced for 25 years. He and I are actually good friends – but we both know, from the time we have spent together recently – that we would be back to the homicide point if we tried to live together again!

  14. My parents divorced when I was about 3 yrs old, in the early 70’s. I was definitely treated differently growing up as a child of a “divorced mother”. Like I came from a home that was so dirty and shameful. Oh and add to that we lived in an apartment which I was then dubbed as poor. Dirty, shameful, and poor. I had schoolmates that couldn’t be friends with me because of this stigma. Fast forward to a 10 year class reunion and an old pal says to me “My parents recently divorced and now I know how you felt when we were kids.” Ha! I swiftly replied – “Oh no, no, no, you have no idea what it was like for me. In fact, your parents were one of many that treated me as less than because of my parents divorce, so no old pal, you DO NOT know what it was like for me.” After she cleared the flies from her dropped jaw and gaping mouth, I simply walked away.

    Divorce is a norm now. No stigma like it used to be. I don’t think my parents divorcing really affected me as I was so young and you don’t miss what you don’t know. However, I know that peoples’ assumptions affected me greatly.

  15. From a pure astrology standpoint, I began my divorce proceedings when Tr Pluto in Cap was exactly squaring my 8H Libra Sun. Classic.

  16. So,I did marry my first husband,trying to live a Christian life in 1978. I was stuck in a brutal marriage believing I would surely go to hell if I divorced. Took me 19 years to be free of that notion.

  17. Pluto in libra sounds like intrusions and triangulations in all relationships- family/others having a say in your own relationship/marriage. It all went down to death(pluto) of it, thus divorce or separations. It looks like the general (from a social pov) stigma from being divorced is in the past. (Fortunately so) The case by case may differ from different parts of the world.

  18. I wonder why Pluto in Libra didn’t have this effect the last time it occurred, in the 1700s…I think it had some correlation with the Great Awakening religious revival…

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