I am more aware than ever that I am strange. I credit my childhood for this, it’s just impossible to be rid of the effects of it and this is for good or ill. I don’t think I am special, I do think I am extreme. I am a person from the far end of the continuum and more and more I am seeing that I have to resolve the things that come up inside me, on my own.
This is not normal for the Libra in my chart. I want someone to understand me but it’s just hopeless. Well, maybe not hopeless but it is surely inefficient.
Last night I told my husband about something I’m struggling with. I used to seek his help with these type things but I no longer do because he never knows what I am talking about. It’s baffling because I consider myself a communicator. Anyone who can write 20,000 blog posts and have people read them must be able to get something across but there are areas or ideas I have that I fail to be able to translate or transfer and I have come to accept this.
The fact is, there is a significant part of me that is an always will be in a void of some sort and there are countless reasons for this. There are a sea of reasons why but as for the astrology, I think Pluto’s transit through my 12th house is what has me in contact with my own abyss at this time.
I don’t mind it most days but other times it’s quite overwhelming. How I will ever find the shore in the sea of black? Everything is just an outline at best.
This forces me to survive (Pluto) on faith (12th) and this works out quite well, thankfully.
What do you do or where do you go when no one understands what you feel or what you are talking about?