It was the strangest thing. I was out walking as I’m prone to do. I walk around the neighborhood and on the trails in the nearby park when weather permits just to clear my head and never give it much thought. But the other day I was out there and as I walked by 3 boys / men, I felt afraid.
The men were maybe 17-20 years old and doing nothing to threaten to me. They were just standing alongside the path chatting but I could not stop the reality from dawning on me – I was at their mercy.
Fact is, there were 3 of them and 1 of me. They were bigger than me, stronger than me and younger than me and if they had it in their mind to hurt me I would have little hope of defending myself.
This is not a new reality but the conscious realization of it is new. Last year, I’d have passed those men without a thought so I ran this by a couple people I respect.
I asked Claire-France what she thought:
“It occurred to me if they wanted to commit a rape, there would have been nothing I could do,” I said. “I walk by and they are either rapists or they are not. They are either moral or they are not. Because if they want to take me down they certainly can.”
“And they are thinking the same thing,” she said, chilling me some.
“I suppose so. It’s a fine line, isn’t it?”
Later I recounted my experience to the soldier.
“You were right to be afraid. Dang it, P, now I am going to worry about. Can you just walk in the neighborhood?”
I am pretty sure that Pluto in Capricorn will profound affect on the level of fear and sense of security of the collective and I wonder if others are having similarly flavored experiences.
Are you afraid of things that did not scare you a year ago?