Pluto And The Breaking Down, Rotting Person In Process Of Transformation

“She’s light now,” I said. “She’s become extraordinary in the time she’s read my blog. She is as fine a person as you could find but it was not always that way.”


“No. There has been a total transformation. She shed all her… shit. She really shed it all. She used to be nasty to me.  Real nasty but she healed off my energy and she figured it out too, eventually. I know she knows. She tried not to know for a long time but she eventually did know which I appreciated and I thought it was remarkable. You hardly ever see that but eight years later, she’s aware and she’s as good a person as you can find. I see people go through this transforming process on my blog and there are stages in the process where they are repulsive. This is just a fact. You’ve been to therapy, you know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“Right.  People are downright disgusting at certain stages of transforming and there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to stand them. You have to leave them be and let them rot. But some of them come out of it and whew!  When they do it’s really something to see but this is a not a fast process. It takes years. And while it’s not easy on them, I got news for you, it’s not easy for me either.  I have a hard time standing it, sometimes.  I have to look away. But I try to accommodate them as best I can because I have rotted and been disgusting before too. Oh hell yeah, I know all about it. Transformation?  It’s just not a pleasant process and at certain stages you become grotesque,” I said with the image of Linda Blair in the exorcist in mind. “Yeah, it’s disgusting all right.”

Have you ever gone through this process… or witnessed it?




Pluto And The Breaking Down, Rotting Person In Process Of Transformation — 38 Comments

  1. This one’s fascinating. Very true.

    That picture is bringing up some bad memories, too, of being 13 and watching the Exorcist on TV (edited no less). I haven’t been able to watch horror movies since. So many people in my age group had the same experience! I guess being a witness to that kind of breaking down, rotting process leaves its own debris to deal with.

  2. Yes and yes, just emerging out of it. When one descends into the underworld of Pluto all manner of things can take place. But when one returns, it is Springtime, and all is refreshed.

  3. Oops, I think my comment was eaten by the spammanator.

    And I’m thinking that picture is hitting me so hard because Neptune is currently squaring my Moon/Neptune conjunction. Interesting.

  4. I can’t say I’ve ever witnessed a change in anybody close to me, they’re all stuck in their old ways lol.
    Maybe I’m just so deep into my own changes, I don’t see anyone else’s??

  5. Well I was supposed to be at the library all day working on my term paper, but snowed in again, and yikes, that picture does evoke some serious memories from that movie!!

    Anyway, I have witnessed this with people very, very close to me – I won’t go into details, but for these people, it had to do with addictions, and when they were addicted, they were not living their true soul’s essence. They were most definitely “possessed”. Sometimes, relationships can recover after they are released, but sometimes too much damage has been done.

    And sometimes, there is a partial recovery, and those are the sad ones for me, because my trust is only 99.9% back, and I know it will never again be 100%.

  6. witness to this right now. Its painful. I’ve had to turn away from someone that I love but I can no longer trust, been in the line of fire far too long.
    What is it that kept me going back to someone in this transformation, why would I keep inviting this person back into my life when they equal pain, I was just so easy for them to hurt? I can see where they are in the process and I have hopes they continue to go through the transformation and come out on the other side. But I can no longer be there, I can’t sacrifice myself to their transformation.

  7. This year’s transformational process continues with the support of this site and Elsa, of course. She gave me step by step guidance to keep my lover in my life and I still almost blew it. Her insights are time released which is fortunate since my process always takes more time than I imagine is necessary.

  8. “cherie, that is the main thing. It takes YEARS. It’s like a Pluto transit. This is a 5 year situation we’re talking about and usually more.”

    So, am I hangin’ with my own Pluto transit (12th house) or that of my lover, Pluto (6th house) opposition Uranus, Saturn (3rd house) square Uranus (12th house)? Or, are you referring to the Saturn sq. Pluto transit that’s here for the collective? Is this the beginning of that 5+ year cycle?

    Thanks for the clarification, Elsa. I’m thinking under water 🙂

  9. “Or, are you referring to the Saturn sq. Pluto transit that’s here for the collective? Is this the beginning of that 5+ year cycle?”

    Good question. I was not referring to or thinking about the collective transit when I wrote this but most definitely the concept applies.

  10. Yeah. A lot of paintings look really ugly before they’re done. Very true.
    Growth hurts sometimes and it’s hard to be in pain and graceful at the same time.

  11. @ Beth- like that analogy of the painting.

    Feeling pretty gross at the moment; hoping the “finished product” will be valuable enough to make up for all of the ugly stages.

  12. I don’t know if i’m blind to this — but i feel like i haven’t experienced this level of transformation or known anyone who has … Maybe i am not getting what this post is about–

  13. I reread the post and now gonna reread the comments–

    I know i’ve had change thrust upon me– but i think that’s different from what you are talking about here.

    Here it seems almost that a person was a cesspool and then… a process with various parts, certain key figures — and a transformation. Not in a day. Years.

    I feel like: if my mother were here, she would tell me, she would know. Cuz i can’t tell. So i emailed a friend and asked him….

  14. I think I’m just about 3 years into a repulsive transformation. I remember the exact words of mine, in October 2008, when I was cresting in repulsiveness (hopefully), saying to my boyfriend “if you see me come out on the other side of this, you will have seen something so hard you’ll probably never know what went into it.” Pluto over an angle/Mars. I’ve seen my sister go through a repulsive transformation too, and it reminded me of an exorcism at the time. Pluto over an angle/Neptune. I didn’t connect any of these dots until right now, reading this post, Elsa.

  15. Maybe i just use different language/words to explain my experience. I talk about the bottom or the pits or going through hell or coming out the other side–

    I thought i would never recover from this summer. I thought it was the end of me, really. I felt flattened. I would talk to my ex telling him as much– would tell him that he was talking to a dead person because mentally i had reached my limit(s) —

    And my double taurus friend saved me but that’s another story.

    But i wasnt trying to change. It was outside of me. Saturn on my moon and uranus opposing.

    All this to say, i wish i could better understand what’s at stake here–

    I wrapped up my pluto square a few years ago and i dont remember itmuch except that i also had jupiter in the 4th and i moved–

    Or maybe i spend so much time in the hole, that is my daily reality and mirror.

    And whenever i read the word “repulsive,” i think “disgusting” — it seems so very physical, bodily, full of decay, ooze, slime, and so on.

    (Duh just remembering the linda blair pic – slime indeed)

  16. Elsa, I’ve thought about this all day long and I wanted to say that this resonates so hard with me.

    I definitely was the girl that was going through such a right time, getting nothing but shit out of life, all I did was put out shit myself. I mean, like…people that hurt hurt people, and sometimes you can’t SEE that shit until you’re on the other side and horrified by what you’ve done when your head wasn’t screwed on straight.

    I 100% appreciate that someone out there knows that people are like this, but that -they can come out on the other side-.

    You have no idea what this means to me.

    And you know what? This tells me that while I can’t blame anyone for turning away from me when I was being a horrible human being? I can FORGIVE MYSELF and move on.

    Because that’s not who I AM. It’s who I WAS.

    *big hugs*

  17. I’ve had Pluto consistently transiting my natal, mostly in squares or oppositions, for about 14 years. Looking ahead, I won’t get a break until 2019.

    Some transits have been more positive — the Pluto/Mars opposition was a period of great energy and positive growth for me. Generally, though (and I hate how EMO this sounds) my life has been one long confrontation with the dark side of spirit. It certainly cannot be pretty to watch.

    The karmic events around my Pluto/Neptune conjunction did also set up my coup de grace for my Pluto/Venus opposition tinged Saturn return. It was a huge, nasty, unseemly growth experience — for sure the biggest bunch of head-spinning and spewing I’ve ever had to submit to.

  18. ((luci)))

    The fact is when you meet someone in this state you don’t KNOW. You don’t know whether they are an actual horrible person or just a person in pain who was good before and will be good again.

    I tell you this much: There have been times in my life where I could have and would have been counted out by most but I came through so there you go.

  19. Okay. Luci’s comment made this all more clear to me.

    I also see that I don’t spew (others may disagree) — instead, I contract.

    And I think this habit of mine impedes growth at times–

    (Self-containment of cancer/virgo types maybe)

    Don’t know why i’m obsessing on this thread today, but I am!

  20. Hmm, I can relate a bit moonpluto … my sense of turmoil is usually turned inward, too. But I can say I did some pretty nasty, horrible things in the process of this transformation that I never really thought were part of my character. I’ve had to work really hard to realize that I’m NOT a bad person. Needless to say I wasn’t handling my pain in a most gracious manner.

  21. I’ve witnessed this in my mother. I feel grateful I get to see her happy in this life–never thought it would happen. Never thought she’d love me, never thought she’d be good to me.

  22. I’m learning as much from the comments on this post as I did from the post itself.

    I’ve experienced profound transformation – one I am still rebuilding from in ways I don’t fully understand. I have been through a continuous pluto transit from age 5 through age 25 and it’s not totally over yet. So pretty much all I know of myself is how repulsive I can be. I’m only realizing now that I’m capable of bringing happiness to people.

    I’m witnessing my best friend undergo this transformation. She is becoming increasingly repulsive but I plan to stick with her as best I can. I know what it’s like. Even though I was pushing people away, I am grateful to this day for those that stuck with me.

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