Dear Elsa,
I moved out of my home a month ago and filed for divorce 2 weeks later, all because that’s what my wife wanted. There has been physical and mental abuse from both parties and my wife has a court date in 2 weeks due to a domestic violence issue. We stopped sleeping together about 4 years ago.
My wife met another man online 2 years ago and went to meet him in person about the same time I filed for divorce. She claims she is too confused right now and wants to cut him out of her life, but not before she tells him that she loves him. I want us to get back together, but all she wants right now is to go full speed ahead with the divorce – even though she claims she doesn’t know how she will feel down the road.
I called her several times a day to beg, plead and reason with her for the first 3 weeks but it’s been a week now since I talked to her. I just wanted to back off and give her some breathing room. I want nothing more than to win my wife back but I am afraid it might be too late. How can I tell if she will ever take me back – or if it’s time for me to move on with my life?
Pisces Husband
Mexico
Dear Pisces.
It sounds to me as if you are serious and it also sounds as if you have a chance to win your wife back – but you are going to have to revolutionize your way of being. And if you are not willing to do this, I am sure a separation is in both your best interests. But so long as you’re willing to really change, here is a map. These are the steps you can take and and with a Capricorn Moon and rising I am sure you know how to follow a plan.
First withdraw the petition for divorce if you can. If she wants a divorce, let her file it. You don’t want a divorce, so what are you doing getting one?
Next, whatever the issues of abuse are, solve them. Don’t care what she did to you. That’s her problem to solve. But you’ve got to stop hitting her, yelling at her, or whatever else you are doing – and you have got to stop it completely. If you find this a challenge, get a therapist and figure out why but you must do this 100%. This is non-negotiable.
You must also use your dick! For Godsakes you cannot let your wife languish and go without sex for 4 years! Are you crazy? Are you drunk? Whatever you are, fix it! Women need sex from men to thrive! PERIOD. You are in your early forties for Chrissakes. There is no excuse!
So there you go. If you hit your wife and deprive her of sex, as far as I am concerned she ought to go find another man! And so she did. But in this case, even though she may love him, she apparently doesn’t want him or she would be gone! So it does seem she may be trying to make a point and you may have a chance… and if so I hope you use it.
But from one Capricorn to another, I can tell you right now: if you keep doing “the wrong thing”, you’re going to do nothing but continue to roll down the hill.
Good luck.
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Hi this is cancer women my husband is a Pisces man we got love marriage we love each other but once he fought and got me arrested with the police for just not making his dinner on time and after having dinner he started fight on the way to grocery store and I was also angry cuz after having nice meal he was taking bullshit about my dad . And I don’t know I got so much anger when I was just teasing him and he made me upset with his words and I started crying and I was self pitty I was hurting my hands hitting the car windows inside hardly he gets upset and called police I don’t know how I tried to talk but he ddnt listen and run away then police came they arrested him too and took him way longer than me . He never came home after that even though our no contact was finished within 15 days I tried to talk called him texted him he ddnt reply he blocked me he blocked my relatives . He’s not even giving me signed separation it’s been 3 months now we have been separated from each other without any paper signatures . He’s thinking we are separated and now he’s free to look for the other girls as he’s enjoying online with girls talking with many girls everyday . But didn’t try to contact me even . He said after 6 months he will think what to do before that he won’t do anything that what his friend told me . And he asked his friend to not to tell me where he’s living right now . I can feel his pain on the otherside I can feel the betrayal too . How he made m feel in public when he got me arrested for crying . On the contrary he told his friends that he was scared what if I would die of crying . I know he wasmaking stories after doing that bad with me . If so did he apologize ? He didn’t apologize for a single moment nor his family . On the otherside his family didn’t talk to my family there son did put me in trouble and my parents invited them for our family function and they denied to come and was blaming for things . That’s what they do always they hate me tried to snatch everything from me my cloths things ornaments jewelled . So I am so confused I lived in a relationship for 2 years after martiage and in these 2 years we living with each other for 5 months cuz we both were in different countries I brought him in Canada after getting married and we were alone here without any family support and I was the only one who was doing everything all our grocery bills rents cars EMIes all things and this was the first day after 2 months that he was about to spend money from his pocket on grocery . And things happened . I can’t imagined how that thing happened we were in love we we headed to the store . I don’t understand his love is that just for sex with me ? Or he’s playing with my feelings . And he will be playing like this forever after 7 years relationship in love it starts with same cities then long distance that time even though he was having other gfs . So now I am too confused only I supported hmthis relationship until now he just enjoyed it . I want to leave him now . I can’t break my marriage what to do I don’t know . After all his bad doing I got married with him for him just to make him happy . I cared for him more than his family and mother . But he used me like a toy . Now it’s too much I don’t know what will happen with me in the future