Speaking of pheromones, someone suggested it must be wonderful for my ego to be pursued in this way. To have people crawling all over me but in fact, it’s soul killing. I want no part of it. The main thing it does is make me want to cry!
I have no idea how I could be mistaken as someone who would get off on this sort of thing. By the people who are closest to me, even!
But someone in my innermost circle suggested this the other day (to my horror). Once I got over the shock, I wrote him to clarify and try to get him to understand what is real. This is the worst possible situation.
I am not cut out for manlessness. Attention like this does not help my ego.
Being a good lover helps my ego.
Being a good friend helps my ego.
Being caring and giving helps my ego.
Being loving and healing helps my ego.
Being loyal and trustworthy helps my ego, but this?
This is hell on earth.
I hope he understands.
What helps (increases) your ego or your self esteem? What kills your soul?
pictured – Apollo Crowning Himself, Antonio Canova, Italian, 1781, Marble