Do You Have A Black Heart?

black-heartThis is an old post but with planets in Gemini, I thought I should post something interesting.  This post kicked off a series, due to the comments on it. Enjoy!

I know there are people out there who know all about this subject. I’m not one of them. This is not a joke or a trick question, I want to understand this phenomena and I don’t even know what it’s called.

I am going to call it a dark heart or a black heart but I don’t know if that is the correct term. I am talking about the kind of person who is just plain nasty. I don’t know if they know they are nasty. I have no insight into this type person but I can describe what they do.

They hunt others. They look for ways to damage other people, cause them problems or denounce them. They may put people down so that they might feel better about themselves but I am not sure.

They appear to be compelled towards this behavior but I’m not sure about that either. I think we all have free will absent of some acute mental illness so a person has to elect to act in this way to some degree but I don’t know the degree. Do they realize they are predator or imagine themselves otherwise?

Typically they have their cronies. These are people they hang with who support their behavior and believe it not I don’t know anyone like this. I know of people like this and I have been targeted by people like this but I have never been friends with them because it’s just impossible.

It’s impossible because I would call them on their behavior instantly. “Why are you such a bitch?” I’d ask and I’d probably ask this on the first day.

I avoid people like this like the plague and they avoid me too, so consequently I know virtually nothing about them and I am hoping someone can help. Here are my specific questions:

If you have a (so-called) black heart, what is like? I imagine it like an addiction where you’ve got to go out and hurt someone, is this right?

If you know someone with a dark heart what can you tell me about them?

Add the astrology if you can…

 

Skip to follow up – What Can We Learn From The Anti-Bitch

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Comments

Do You Have A Black Heart? — 109 Comments

  1. I do.
    The person (BTW is not related to me) interfered with another family member’s funeral, exploited the grief to decide everything, including the questionable burial place of the remains (a place far away from where everyone in the family resides, with no tie to the deceased).
    When on to give financial advice that required robbing the children of their inheritance to the advantage of another relative. Fully aware of the fact, too.

    From what I can see, he doesn’t think he has a black heart. He has an incredibly twisted value system and treats his family members like they are sick children he’s raising money for on a telethon. He does a lot of “I tell you what, I’ll give you X and you match it”

    What I know of his family history is that his father was basically a medical experiment-he’d had countless surgeries for unnamed problems over the years and died pretty miserable. This man was the favoured son-the oldest son was beaten regularly and this man was the golden, favoured child. His sister was sent to another family when she was 13. I think in this environment he failed to learn empathy and compassion. People are a business model to him: safer that way.

    Don’t know the astrology, except he has Pluto in Leo.

  2. Are you making a distinction between people who take revenge vs the black hearted?

    I know someone who becomes black-hearted, IMHO, but it is usually for a reason. But it IS a kind of black hearted nastiness that I don’t understand. Pre-meditated cruelty.

    Some identifiers:
    -victim mentality
    -blindspots regarding their own behavior
    -planned/premeditated acts of viciousness
    -gaslighting 🙂

    She has moon in scorpio square pluto; also mars in aqua in 1st house which to me can be some serious detatchment from self and situation. I can’t remember rest of chart. Oh, and TON of planets and asteroids in Leo….

  3. This is my experience, through working through and with abuse (survivors). Typically the people you describe would be called abusive. They do prey on others because they themselves feel insecure/weak/lack self-esteem and instead of taking responsibility for working on those things, they instead decide to try to feel powerful and in control by kicking others around. It gets more complicated than that, but that’s the basic stuff.

    And they know what they are doing. These are the people who will treat certain family members or friends like total garbage but may be supernice to their bosses or other authority figures. Their choosiness of people as prey is proof that they know what they are doing, either consciously or subconsciously. Hell, they might just be ‘nice’ to still be self-serving, to get what they want. And many of them have a win/lose attitude – they can’t see that both people can win in a situation – if anyone besides them ‘wins’ then they MUST have lost.

    They probably won’t imagine themselves as predator, because they will not even realize their own flaws, that is a threat to their image of their perfect self. They will refuse it and project it on to everyone around them, blaming everyone else for their own crappy behaviors. X person nearby gets hurt? Well, it must be that person’s fault! You’ve probably heard people say, “You’re too sensitive!” or “If X didn’t do X then I wouldn’t have had to do X bad thing to them.” That is their way of blaming their target and taking any responsibility off themselves for bad behavior.

    —–
    In my own experience, the people I have known with strong Capricorn AND Scorpio in the same chart have a tendency toward this behavior. I’m sure not everyone with this combo is like this, but the ones I’ve known were really messed up and really abusive of power and control. I’ve also seen people with lots of Cancer in their chart twist and manipulate and really ruin the lives of others for their own benefit. It’s not a sign you would think of doing that, but they can be mighty twisted if not developed right.

    Sorry ’bout the wall o’ text, just a subject I’m passionate about and have spent so many hours on.

  4. My “favourite” black heart is a coworker.Nasty,bitchy, manipulative, slandering,invasive, a compulsive liar and someone pathologically sure that she is the best,trying to escalate but never quite managing due to her poor “social skills”.She tries to take advantage of other´s pain or suffering in a low, mean base way.There´s very little authenticity in her, she´s all fake.A real pain in the …
    She has a gemini sun Tsquared by pluto/uranus on one side and saturn on the other.
    She has mercury cj mars (hurtful words)cj jupiter (enlarging it, she HAS to be heard) all opposed a scorpio moon (!!)cj neptune.Merc opp neptune alone could explain the lying.
    Mars trine pluto could give her resilience to keep on going and never correct her course.
    As far I am concerned, we seem to be doomed with each other, our suns exactly opposite and my north
    node conjunct her sun!!

  5. “These are the people who will treat certain family members or friends like total garbage but may be supernice to their bosses or other authority figures. Their choosiness of people as prey is proof that they know what they are doing, either consciously or subconsciously.”

    :snip::

    “Hell, they might just be ‘nice’ to still be self-serving, to get what they want. And many of them have a win/lose attitude – they can’t see that both people can win in a situation – if anyone besides them ‘wins’ then they MUST have lost.”

    YES!! This is who I am talking about!! They’ve just got to put someone down all the time, no matter what, they have no other way to live!

    Now why do they have no other way to live?? They seem so incredibly dependent to me! They are like babies or something. Is this arrested development?

  6. Although I have to say I think we all are quite capable given the right circumstances of black-hearted behavior I do know a couple of humans [unfortunately related] who consistently operate this way. One is a double Scorpio and the other is a Scorpio with a loaded Scorpio 5th house. I know all Scorpios aren’t this way and I’m not implying they are but these two have taught me over and over again to recognize the what’s-in-it-for-me motivation.

    As an example of how they think: I once told the Scorpio with the loaded 5th house that I’d like to do volunteer reading help and she said “Yeah, so you could be better than them.” She simply could not understand that someone might want to help another because they love books and wanted to share.

    Anyway, as they age these two keep getting worse and I’ve noticed one thing they have in common is they don’t belive in anything outside of themselves, no higher power, no anything. Yes it is sad.

  7. My father has a black heart. If it doesn’t further his wants and needs, he’s got no qualms about trampling it to get there.

  8. Also, he treated my mother pretty badly. Beat her, never held a job but made her have two, kidnapped me when I was a kid….and yet STILL bad mouthed her STILL badmouthed her ’til the day she died and then some.

    :/

  9. A friend of mine recently got out of a relationship, well, really she had no other choice, he was arrested finally (Thank God) for rape and grand larceny. I named him Rasputin the first time I met him and would not allow her to bring him around my children or my home, EVER! But, she was taken by him…..completely monetarily and emotionally. He stole more than 50,000.00 from her and she still could not see that he was evil or at least that was her cry.

    Interesting to me that yaypopcorn mentioned both signs on her post….his and hers. I believe she is just as manipulative in some respects but plays the victim to get people to feel sorry for her.

    He is a Sun Gem, Moon Gem, Merc. Gem, Mars Aries, Venus Leo…don’t know his exact birth time, but am betting he is a Leo Asc.

    Hers is a Sun Cancer, Moon Pisc, Asc. Scorpio, Merc. Leo.

    I met her through another friend 2 years before she met this guy and she was quirky, but not who she became when she met this fellow. She abandoned all friendships, including her dog, whom I took in. She sent me an email a few weeks ago with a link to his arrest mug shot…..I got the creeps so bad!!! She told me that he has done this number with countless women around the country and there is or was a website dedicated to finding him by one of his victims……it is like a movie….a bad one, but still.

  10. And yap (you seem to be talking about the same specimen I am) – what do YOU call these types since you have studied them??

  11. It’s called BPD – borderline personality disorder. The only way for them to feel calm is to create chaos for everyone around them.

  12. Liza – I don’t think so. The type I am talking about get along with some people just fine and over the long term. But there is a distinct NEED to find someone to try to ruin or repress or oppress.

    It does not even seem important the person they are oppressing be bothered. The NEED (which is what it seems like to me) is to feel they are better than another person and the other person’s reaction seems irrelevant.

    For example, this could be the kind of person who combs over celebrity pictures looking for cellulite. They just can’t function without this thing in their life that I can see.

    (welcome btw)

  13. I wonder if people who have been alternatively beaten/abused/degraded as well as elevated are more prone to this.
    I know two other people (I was friends with them; I no longer am because of their casual cruelty) who were abused severely as children, and also pumped full of the Messiah complex by their abuser.
    “I’m going to smash you into the ground and then tell you how wonderful you are”

    I think this disconnect creates the potential to seek out the Other’s destruction, thinking it elevates one’s position in life.

  14. Elsa, I work in counselling for more than 20 years. I had encountered many of those people in my line of work. My take is that they see life as a jungle. It is a constant battle for surviving, and in order to survive one must show no mercy. It is a predator mentality, and although they don’t see themselves as evil, they think they are smart, and their prey is dumb. Anything that could lessen their ability to hunt (mercy, sorrow, regret, love, friendship, etc) is discarded as inconvenient and undesirable. In general, I would say this behavior is basead on a twisted Pluto. Sorry if the text is not clear enough, English is not my first language, but the subject is so interesting I could not resist…

  15. Mara, thanks and welcome! I suspect Pluto too but I’d sure like to get at the root of this.

    What do you call it???

  16. Afanasy’s mother. She was a scorpio and I think had leo rising. He has moon conjunct pluto in the 12th. His mother was emotionally cruel and self centered. Back in the 1950’s only men had power – she had two sons she regularly emasculated to make herself feel better.

    It was all about her and she would say so if you asked her. He is really beautiful and hardworking but she came to see him and she was all over him about what he wasn’t – she launched emotional grenades at him. Put him down just to build herself up. Tore at him. I didn’t understand why she didn’t see him the way he was.
    She could not stand to have a woman in the room that was better looking (she was beautiful and haughty)
    Imagine the wicked step mother in Snow White – you get it. She was perfectly nice to people she didn’t have control over.

  17. That gave me the chills. My sister’s ex is one. He’s a sag sun square pluto and uranus in virgo and saturn in pisces, and mars, venus and moon in capricorn in the 12th house trining pluto and uranus in the 7th. He is well supported by my sister being a good mom – he has jupiter in gemini in the 5th squaring the uranus and pluto – but is constantly abusive – and my sister thinks is actually crazy because he will deny how abusive he is. His father taught him to be a man through control. His mother turns a blinds eye to her husband and to his faults. He’s an artist and his abusive nature seems to come out in his depiction of women which is really chilling. Also he’s a teacher and is never late for school.

    Not sure if he’s a black heart or “simply” an abuser – unless it’s the same thing. No sign he’s getting help for it.

  18. Ok, trying again… I call it predator mentality, a twisted survivor instinct. They think everybody sees the world the way they see it, only doesn’t admit it. In a sense, they have a black heart, because they don’t know the light of love, hope or happiness. They just don’t believe these things exist. So, their behavior is justified (in their minds), as they believe the whole world act the same way…

  19. Thanks, Mara. See, “black heart” is not the right thing to call it because denamaria is (probably) talking about sociopath up there and I don’t think these people are sociopaths. They have concern (that I think is authentic) for who they have concern for but they have simply got to have someone to put down as if it were a fix or something.

    it’s sort of like that old movie, “Heathers”.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5yXjghKpO4

  20. My mom is like this with my sister and I, unfortunately. I think it is an issue with women in general, but I have no idea.

    She’s a Cap (sun conj my asc) with Moon conj Pluto in Cancer opposite Saturn conj Venus in Cap and Aq (and Mars in Cap, widely).

    Fun.

  21. Me again! I don’t know what to call them, well, besides what I want to call them when I get angry thinking about how mean they are. 😛 I wish I did have a good defining name for that ‘type.’

    Something I just recalled but can’t find – awhile back I remember reading an article about research that found that some brains of bullies are actually stimulated by bullying behavior and the reward centers of the brain apparently lit up! So acting in this way makes some of them feel good, which is why they refuse to act in any other way.

    This thread made me think of the people I see here or there who lash out at everyone else mourning the loss of Michael Jackson.

  22. Yes, they are not sociopaths. They have concern for some in their lives (their tribe, you could say), but is not authentic love, is a more tribal feeling, like a lion respect the others of their kind. They have to constantly hunt (or get a fiz, like you said) in order to feel alive, and apt. As a lion looking around and saying: “hum, that is not a lion, is a deer, so I need to take it down…” And if someone they have a concern for (their tribe) ever challenge them, they will show their claws.

  23. Perhaps she’s compelled to act out the part of the collective shadow that seeks to isolate others and keep love at bay while collecting affection for them self. It’s a kind of selfishness that most people refuse or resist but she just gives right into it with full commitment. I think all of us, or some of us, carry or act out a part of the collective shadow on some scale. If we are willing to be truthful, we all have had some part of doing small “dirty deeds” here and there, but it isn’t offensive until someone gets out of hand with it. It’s written off as poor judgment or something until it becomes mass murder.

  24. Racism, prejudice, and anti-Semitism are good examples of this. To some degree a person feels discomfort around people who aren’t like them. This discomfort isn’t shunned or looked down upon, even though most of the time it’s baseless, as the other person hasn’t actually done anything to discomforted party. People are understanding and tolerant of using racial slurs in private company and/or other subtle behaviors like crossing the street or refusing to sit next to someone and so forth. Yet these same people may disapprove of and feel totally different from a Klu Klux Klan member or Neo-Nazi. They are taking on the collective shadow in a dynamic away where others are taking part in a passive way. Everyone shares in the shadow, but people don’t want to be aware of it.

  25. Mara – yes, that is the type. If you are a bitch too, you can join, LOL.

    I think it’s kind of funny but I am very comfortable in the shadow. It’s the damn light that bothers me, I guess I’m a bug but a very happy bug anyway.

  26. I think in this case it is not so much a matter of hate, but of lack of love. These two things are not the same, you know. The lion doens’t hate the prey…

  27. My husband was like that, and I don’t think his astrology had much if anything to do with it. He personified schadenfreude. On 9/11, when I told him about the towers falling, he laughed and pumped his fists in the air. He spent about twelve and a half years trying to kill my spirit and my kid’s, until he diagnosed his own Narcissistic Personality Disorder and began working through it. He and we characterize the change in him as, “turning into a human being.” The current state of psychological wisdom is that the disorder begins in infancy with abuse and/or neglect. They have no empathy, and now Greyfox is developing it. It is marvelous and… like a tightrope walk — his tenuous hold on humanity and empathy.

    You could learn a lot about black hearts by googling NPD.

  28. Yes. In the school yards we call them bullies.

    In adult life they are still bullies, but because of their ability to pick a victim and kick the life out of them makes them seem strong, other people will not take them on. Because they are often kiss-ups when it comes to their bosses, their bosses are apt to dismiss the complaints of the employees as “people who can’t measure up to high standards.”

    Unfortunately, they see it that way themselves as well.

    Here is the chart of a certified bully. I have seen this person in action.

    Sun 10 Taurus 29
    Moon 01 Pisces 35
    Mercury 14 Aries 05
    Venus 19 Gemini 37
    Mars 12 Cancer 05
    Jupiter 29 Scorpio 14 R
    Saturn 06 Capricorn 53 R
    Uranus 12 Leo 16 00N40
    Neptune 05 Scorpio 27 R
    Pluto 01 Virgo 42 R
    Chiron 27 Aquarius 09
    Pallas 11 Libra 18 R
    Juno 12 Libra 41 R
    Ceres 23 Scorpio 44 R
    Vesta 04 Leo 41
    True North Node 12 Libra 50
    Mean North Node 11 Libra 39 R
    Medium Coeli 12 Aries 09
    Ascendant 28 Cancer 45
    First House Cusp 28 Cancer 45
    Second House Cusp 18 Leo 20
    Third House Cusp 11 Virgo 55
    Fourth House Cusp 12 Libra 09
    Fifth House Cusp 19 Scorpio 10
    Sixth House Cusp 26 Sagittarius 51

    Very scary is this person’s moon opposition to pluto, both of which challenge Jupiter which only adds oomph to this energetic connection. Neptune opposite his sun makes him very unaware of the effect his words and actions have on other people. Its like all he hears is the voices inside his own head and not the screams of his victims.

  29. While you were ending up the discussion I was googling, so just wanted to add what I found… This is extreme, but definitely sounds a lot like what was being discussed. Thankfully I don’t know anyone like this!!

    The Sadistic Personality Disorder is characterized by a pattern of gratuitous cruelty, aggression, and demeaning behaviors which indicate the existence of deep-seated contempt for other people and an utter lack of empathy. Some sadists are “utilitarian”: they leverage their explosive violence to establish a position of unchallenged dominance within a relationship. Unlike psychopaths, they rarely use physical force in the commission of crimes. Rather, their aggressiveness is embedded in an interpersonal context and is expressed in social settings, such as the family or the workplace.

    This narcissistic need for an audience manifests itself in other circumstances. Sadists strive to humiliate people in front of witnesses. This makes them feel omnipotent. Power plays are important to them and they are likely to treat people under their control or entrusted to their care harshly: a subordinate, a child, a student, a prisoner, a patient, or a spouse are all liable to suffer the consequences of the sadist’s “control freakery” and exacting “disciplinary” measures.

    Sadists like to inflict pain because they find suffering, both corporeal and psychological, amusing. They torture animals and people because, to them, the sights and sounds of a creature writhing in agony are hilarious and pleasurable. Sadists go to great lengths to hurt others: they lie, deceive, commit crimes, and even make personal sacrifices merely so as to enjoy the cathartic moment of witnessing someone else’s misery.

    Sadists are masters of abuse by proxy and ambient abuse. They terrorize and intimidate even their nearest and dearest into doing their bidding. They create an aura and atmosphere of unmitigated yet diffuse dread and consternation. This they achieve by promulgating complex “rules of the house” that restrict the autonomy of their dependants (spouses, children, employees, patients, clients, etc.). They have the final word and are the ultimate law. They must be obeyed, no matter how arbitrary and senseless are their rulings and decisions.

  30. I have met my first person ever like that – she is my co-worker and I have never run into anyone who could fit the description before. I have spent a fair amount of time trying to analyze her and I think she is self-loathing. That would fit Elsa’s idea that she puts others down to feel better about herself.

    I was interested by blumarine’s coworker description:

    “gemini sun Tsquared by pluto/uranus on one side and saturn on the other. She has mercury cj mars (hurtful words)cj jupiter”

    My co-worker has a fixed t-square of Mars in Leo at the apex with Saturn opposite Neptune. A Virgo Sun exact sextile Jupiter in Scorpio, and Mercury exactly conjunct Pluto in Scorpio.

    I guess it goes to show… if you have a heavy duty t-square, use your power for good, not evil. I really feel my co-worker has a lot of intelligence and power and is using it only to torture other people, rather than do any good.

  31. See, I don’t think it’s bullying. The people are very often removed from the person they’re after. It’s more like, “Oh. Kirstie Alley gained some more weight, this means I can have a good day.”

    And if they see a chance to feed, Kirstie they will do it but I don’t think this is necessary.

    It is more like, “Okay! Someone is down, so I am up!” And if no one is down, they will put someone down but they seem to have no need to know the person is suffering. I mean Kirstie doesn’t know what they are thinking but thinking it is enough to get them through the day.

    It’s akin to someone going to sleep counting their money, except in this case it is a list of people they are superior too and if there is someone shiny in their midst, they will definitely try to muddy them.

  32. Whoa Beth, I have an ex-bf whose chart seems similar from a glance. The similarities are:
    Sun – Taurus
    Mercury & Venus in the same signs but switched
    Jupiter – Scorpio
    Instead of Moon opp Pluto he has Moon conjunct Pluto.

    Is my ex a bully? He beat another ex multiple times, verbally and emotionally abused both of us, left her homeless, and nearly smashed me over the head with a metal desk lamp. I’d say so.

  33. Unfortuntely, I do. The woman is married to my DH’s brother. Haven’t spoken to her in 7 years.

    When she first meets people, she susses them out to see if she can jerk them around. (Sound familiar?) When people catch on to her, and they almost always do, she decides she wants nothing to do with them.

    Her long list of foibles range from a lie-filled CPS call to embezzlement, and everything imaginable inbetween. This is one nasty piece of work. I’ve had nothing to do with her in many years, and honestly, I feel sorry for anyone who HAS to spend any time with her.

    The astrology: Sun/Venus conjunct in Leo, both opposite Saturn, and both trine Jupiter in Aries. The trines are how she fools people initially, and that opposition is her “black heart”.

  34. I’ve met people like this. But it’s not really that they’re totally evil to the core; it’s more that they want something from other people in general and when they don’t get it, they attack, and attack hard.

    I was friends with this chick until one day she turned around (the catalyst being that I told her one day she was acting shady and with raging bias toward her cronies- yeah, she had cronies) and just straight up attacked me (verbally, of course). She managed to turn almost all of my friends against me, even the ones who KNOW who I am and knew the things the ‘friend’ was saying were lies. I was literally on the defensive with every social interaction I had for at least a year afterward…and I got hard on the inside. I froze almost everyone out, and my friend circle got a lot smaller.

    But you know what? The people who heard of me and still sought me out to get to know me? They’re my best friends now. The few people I trust, are just totally awesome and very much there for me.

  35. To add briefly, all I know about her childhood is she literally screamed until she got her way, and her mother always gave in to her. She continued the pattern throughout her life…always looking for that one person who will give in to her.

  36. My Virgo Dad for sure. One of his favorite sayings was “Why make someone happy when you can ruin their day?”

    Also, my only Capricorn ex-girlfriend has been bad news to her friends, family, co-workers, the world. Any form of love or positive energy she had in her life she destroyed.

    They say we date our parents, can you guess which one she was?

  37. Hi all, new poster here. Hello! I know someone like this at my office as well. I don’t have a name for this kind of behavior/interaction either but there is at least ONE in EVERY office right? It is a JR high school feeling for me. This person is very likable in some ways (sense of humor is good when she’s not hating on someone) but MUST hate on someone all the time. I have overheard her speak poorly of me when I thought we were friends (naive I know)and was crushed, but I guess it has to be someone all the time. I don’t trust her anymore and often wonder why she is so misarable and nasty. For astrology purposes she has Sun conjunct Mars 1st house in Libra, with Virgo Rising. She has(Virgo)Pluto and Mercury in the 12th house but it’s too wide for conjunct and a moon in Scorpio(3rd House)making no aspects. Most of her planets are below the horizon. I really wonder why she is so nasty (astro speaking as well)about almost everybody including me at times. I really feel sorry for her mostly, but have learned to just stay away from her as much as I can in a work environment.

  38. Elsa….I called him Rasputin…remember “Nicholas and Alexandra”? Rasputin wanted so bad what they had and knew he would never achieve it so he sabotaged the czar and his family….Anastasia was their daughter that supposedly survived the execution. (Smiles)

  39. I was thinking sadistic, but it is more than that….it is “if I can’t have it, nobody can” feeling….that was my gut feeling about this guy.

  40. I call them tyrannical. They love who they love, but always need to have a major influence in those relationships. They can be emotionally vulnerable, but essentially and deeply they always always “wear the pants” in the relationship – they do not accommodate others (that is what “nice” people might do, and these people are very comfortable with not being nice). They can be funny, generous, and lots of other good qualities. But they are not threatened by being thought of as mean – they think it’s a good trait – and they think they are essentially good people (and that meanness is just a necessary trait in this competitive world).

    They do not want kindness from others, they want respect. And they think they have respect if others fear them or do not like them. They think they are very courageous for not needing to be liked, and they will be mean to prove it.

    p.s. The person who taught me all this was my step-mother, who is a Cancer with moon in Capricorn and Taurus rising.

  41. Lexie – I’ve come across several people like this, they play out the shadow but not across the board, just in a certain area. The hate is focused. They manipulate but only certain people or only when it comes to certain things. Like your friend, I grew up with a cousin who would simply yell at her mother, sometimes even using profanity, until she got what she wanted. This, as expected, got entirely worse with age. In the end, she became physically abusive towards her mother, father and siblings. Two year ago she broke the arm of a married man she was having an affair with, using a baseball bat. They got back together and he was trying, once again, to get away from her while she was attacking him. She followed him through traffic in her own car and she threw a brick through his windshield, while he was driving. The brick broke his shoulder and he lost control of his car. He survived thankfully, divorced his wife, and moved out of state. She is a double Aries and very kind towards those who aren’t close to her people think she’s a “nice” girl.

  42. Elsa – Because we feel threatened at the idea that we aren’t who we think we are or people will find out who we really are. The possibility that we could be “one of them,” or simply aren’t that different for those we fear. We fear even the association, like with homophobia. Even when the fear is simply based on ignorance or bad logic.

    I wonder if there is a way, using astrology, that we can pinpoint of get a general idea of where (but probably not how) a person will play out their shadow. I would imagine there would be multiple components. I used to think that the 7th house (projection) would have something to do with it, perhaps stressed Pluto or Neptune or the house opposite our sun or an empty house sitting across from a packed house.

  43. I work with people like these. Elsa they want to be known as the greatest of something sometime anything they love awards, and accolades, these awards and accolades show that they are accomplished and therefore helps them to climb the ladder, while doing practically nothing. So they can’t do anything but root out whose not with them or who they are questionable about helping them eventually get to the top.They get comfortable and will stay in position for years. I’m speaking of the 1.top culprit because there are different levels. There’s a level below them 2.that have the same title that can’t really stick it to the culprit without being outed by someone in the next level lower than them. So they’ll follow even with doubts and doing most of the work. Then there’s that next level 3. that hope and pray to be as lucky as the culprit and just might if they remain loyal and do it for the company. These are the ones that the culprit use to capture the lowest level. 4. The level of idiots who are weak minded and can be manipulated by the level above very easily. They’ll believe what they are told and do most of the dirty work next to the level above. My dear these are the people that take the wrap when something goes wrong. They will have a letter of recommendation out of this world. If that’s not the case or it doesn’t help they’ll go down thinking that it was because they were sacrificing for the better. That’s how the person on top stays on top and hardly gets into trouble. Money is not as much as power. They want power. They don’t want to really work so they network. Any little work that they do, is like high school with all the meetings and so forth. The people that are next in line same (title) They have all the little cronies doing their work for them. With it comes some perks they might get the days off that they request. Kind of like selling your soul to the devil. So it’s true when people say that it’s as if they felt they were some god. They will be, where they reign if it’s up to them.There are four levels. These levels will stick together and try ant tactics possible. If they stick together they hope to root out any traitor. All the while these same people still have their own issues with the company. Everyone except the culprit that is. They are all laughs. Depending on the amount of people in the department these groups can overlap making as many combination of this order possible.

  44. In my opinion it’s a Saturn thing.
    Ptolemy writes: “if he be not in glory, cosmically, and as regards the angles, he will debase the mind, making it penurious, pusillanimous, ill-disposed, indiscriminating, malignant, timorous, slanderous, fond of solitude, repining, incapable of shame, bigoted, fond of labour, void of natural affection, treacherous in friendship and in family connections, incapable of enjoyment”

    It’s very difficult to believe that people can have a black heart, because humankind generally desire the beautiful and the good, but this is the sad truth.

  45. I have met a couple of people who put other people down or humiliate other people in public and it is always to make themselves feel better. I think insecurity is at the core of it though – none of these people are evil. They have just learned a way of surviving.

    I do tend to see the best in everyone though and on odd occasions I do have to admit that someone is just not very nice – and I am trying to excuse them but they just are not and you have to amputate. I think at that level it is karmic. There is probably alot of astrology to explain it – different with each person. I agree with Elsa that energy is neutral until directed. You can’t just list an aspect and point the finger.

  46. “They do not want kindness from others, they want respect. And they think they have respect if others fear them or do not like them. They think they are very courageous for not needing to be liked, and they will be mean to prove it.”

    In romantic relationships, I have a co-dependency thing. I’ll draw a hard line until it feels like someone might leave me, and then I’ll back off.

    In OTHER relationships, I draw a hard line all the time. I -don’t- need to be liked and I’m not putting up with crap or stupidity or mamby-pamby people. If someone thinks I’m mean because of that, so be it.

    But, damn. I’m high performance. I need to roll with people that can think quick, talk quick, shoot straight from the hip. Sensitivity is reserved for the inner most circle of people that have gotten past the crunchy exterior and deserve to see that side because they know I’ll pull myself up by my boot-straps and carry on no matter how sensitive I am.

    I guess I’ve got a black heart. :/

  47. OH and ANOTHER THING (I’m chatty today!):

    ““Why are you such a bitch?” I’d ask and I’d probably ask it on the first day.”

    ELSA, this has confounded me for YEARS. I do NOT for the LIFE of me understand why people continue to be friends with folks that treat them like garbage or who see them treating OTHER people like garbage. It ASTOUNDS me!

    My boyfriend and I have had discussions about this! You do something off, once, I’m going to forgive you. You continue to do questionable or downright unfair things to me on a regular basis and that’s IT for me.

    Him? He’ll gladly let people punch him in the jaw, so to speak, and continue to be friends with them simply becuase “we’ve been friends for ages”.

    Yikes.

  48. i think that this occurs when someone was born with too many plantes massed together in the same sign, or poles- like masses bunched in sag and then gem- all signs have the potential for the bad energy- but when they are so concentrated it seems to me that it would be harder to deal be nice to others and let the light…all hearts are dark, we struggle to make them good.
    i know alot of nasty bitches- there is a lot of wacky sewsaw action that spins out of control…

  49. I had a really bad friend once, luci, speaking of why people stay in relationships with blackhearted people. i felt completely stuck until she did something so violating to me it doesn’t bear repeating.

    Another very wise (Pisces) friend said “if you stop being friends with her, what is she possibly going to do to you that she’s not already doing” and TA-DA I found the courage to walk and not go back.

  50. Kas – Since he had the other opinion, I shared with him Elsa’s point of view; it happens to mesh with mine and explains what I was trying to say to him a while ago.

    Boyfriend says: “Some people can deal with that shit, some people can’t. Sometimes I think being like that [our POV] is overly judgmental. Sometimes I think those people in general just do stupid shit and should be given slack. Whatever.”

    A different perspective, I guess.

  51. I think miserable people make you miserable in a dog with fleas kind of way. it is surely true for people who are permeable.

  52. I knew one once at work. No one ever took her in for harassment either. It’s the only time I’ve had to request not to work with someone. She eventually left, thank goodness. I celebrated.

    I don’t know why she was like that. I just know that everyone was “afraid” of her since she was never written up for her behavior.

    I felt sad that she had children.

  53. My aunt and uncle are like this (on my dad’s side). I generally start SPITTING at the very thought of the word “family” and they are reasons #1 and 2 why. To be fair, 2 out of their 3 kids are nice (albeit one is severely screwed up) and only one of them (and that one’s son) takes after them in personality. But they clearly get off on being smug and above everyone else and slamming on the rest of the world. Them + jerkass son + daughter who isn’t screwed up are in their own little bubble and nobody else gets in.

    They tend to say appalling things to your face like asking if I’m pregnant for Christmas, so I shudder at what they must be saying about me behind my back. They have been nagging me to get married since I became legal, and one time they sat me down to tell me I’d better get married off soon or else I’d never be able to sustain a marriage ’cause I’d be too independent. (Those of you in the Colosseum can get a big laugh at that one.) I’m amazed that they continue to top themselves on the comments. I think it just makes them happy to put themselves above the rest of us. The sad thing is that they are such a soulmate couple that met early on and have been happily together ever since–it makes me think, “How come THEY get that and I don’t?” They are also a couple that karma absolutely refuses to kick in the ass at any point in time. Nothing bad happens to them and their shit don’t stink.

    I keep hoping they will drift off and go away since my dad died. Mom forgot to drop off their Christmas gifts and they obviously snubbed her in public the other week, so maybe there’s hope.

  54. Besides being a psychic and student of astrology, I am also a Social Worker and the study of the human condition has always fascinated me. There are people like this and it is something that I find tough to understand. You look at them and want to ask them if they realized the moment their souls were snatched from their bodies or did it go unnoticed?

    My ex husband is this type of person. Although he doesn’t seek people out, he has no compassion for other and is only in it for himself. Most people would think he is the nicest guy, but they never really get to know him. He is very antisocial, controlling, and self righteous. I would say he has a God complex, but it also hides a lot of insecurity.

    He recently remarried and I was depressed because I thought..ok, he is an a** and he found someone. Well, then I found out that her ex cheated on her, beat her, and threw her down a flight of stairs and broke both of her arms. Compared to that, my ex is a dream. He is only emotionally abusive. She is great for him because he can control her.

    He is a Gemini, Pisces Rising, Sag Moon with Saturn in the 10th. Pluto on his DC, Jupiter on his AC. Mars in his Taurus 2nd house. I actually wonder if his birth time is wrong since I wouldn’t think Pisces rising would be that way. Neptune in Scorpio in the 8th. (he is very much a liar) The one thing you don’t want to cross him over is money. He would screw anyone over in a heart beat and not feel badly about it. It would actually make him feel superior because they were too stupid to figure it out.

    Others I have encountered that are like this seem to have a lot of Virgo energy (nothing against Virgos…just an observation). Gemini Moons seem to be a bit rough from my experience as well.

    Hope that is what you were looking for.

  55. Also… Narcissistic Personality Disorder could be considered

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

    “To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others’ needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen [4]. They may also demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves, and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs.[7] (For example, a narcissistic father who was a lawyer demanded that his son, who had always been treated as the “favorite” in the family, enter the legal profession as well. When the son chose another career, the father rejected and disparaged him.)”

  56. Darn it.. I must have had an operator malfunction there… the first post didn’t appear.

    Was telling about my ex husband. Most people would think he was a nice guy if they don’t really know him very well. He would screw anyone over in a heart beat, especially if it had to do with money. He recently remarried and the woman he married was married to a man who beat her, cheated on her, and broke both of her arms when he threw her down a flight of stairs. She is perfect for him because she won’t question him and since he is only emotionally abusive, she probably worships him.

    He is a Gemini, Pisces rising, Sag Moon in the 10th, 8th house Neptune in Scorpio (VERY deceptive). Pluto on his DC opposing Jupiter on his AC.

  57. I am utterly fascinated by this thread.

    I knew a “Black Heart” several years ago, who was hell-bent on destroying me.

    Psychiatric diagnoses came to mind: NPD, BPD, DID… but “Black Heart”? I think that says it all.

    As for the astrology, I only know her sun was in Aries.

  58. i think malice is an energy that can feed. the soul. like love can feed the soul.
    the difference is like the jump between junk food and homemade from the garden scratch cooking.

    they’ve chosen that sort of energy to live on. the fruits of malice. it can be tempting because it can be a lot simpler to break someone down than to life them up. most people have big red buttons that are hard to miss.

    i’m thinking it’s a pluto thing.

  59. From what I’ve seen, people with saturn-pluto / mercury-pluto aspects or with moon-pluto in outgoing signs generally behave like this. I assume their heart is not necessarily ‘blacker’, but they act on the need to exert control in the outer world, not inside themselves. Of course, there’s a lot of projection as well. They generally stop pushing when confronted with their own ‘weapons’ or when reflected back their shadow (by which they are actually controlled, because they find it very hard to look and work inside themselves, that’s why they are so dependent on various (potential) targets around them). An intesifying factor might be a large number of planets in personal consciousness houses, including the sun.

  60. Black heart
    ”I don’t think these people are sociopaths. They have concern (that I think is authentic) for who they have concern for but they have simply got to have someone to put down as if it were a fix or something.”

    When i read the post and all the-comments I thought of an illustration! Black and White heart (similar – Yin Yang!). These people seem to express both sides separatelly depending with who they are .

    They care and ‘give’ much to some people, but they forcefuly ‘take’ away from others! — It could be respect-love-pride-condideration-cruelty-etc

  61. umm, I’m just a teenager, but I do A LOT of reading, and in my opinion, those who hurt others to make themselves feel better are not the black hearted. they only do those things becasue they were abused. They, are the wounded. the black-hearted are those who harm others just becasue they can, not to feel better about themselves, but so they can laugh without pity, mercy, or any feeling beyond pleasure at causing pain, and deriving joy from suffering.

  62. Interesting article and comments. I have been saying for years my ex-husband was a Black Soul.

    I agree with many previous posters. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or Borderline or Sadistic) fits exactly. I also think he has a Negative Entity attachment (his eyes would go BLACK). Add to that Sleep Sex, where he would be a totally different lover (and much better than when he was ever “awake”).

    In an Equal House Chart:
    4 deg Aquarius Rising
    4 deg Scorpio Sun in the 10th
    24 deg Capricorn Moon in the 12th
    21 deg Saturn in Aries in the 3rd
    22 deg Mars, 24 deg Pluto, 26 deg Jupiter in Virgo in the 8th
    1 deg Uranus in Libra in the 8th

    Two years of me praying Catholic Warfare Prayers and other positive steps to shift the energy higher, along with the Cardinal Climax, finally made him decide to move out. The children and I are all thrilled he left.

    He lost or changed jobs six times (and counting) in the last 15 years. He’s charming and fun – until you get to know the real him. If his employers do not acknowledge him as being special and fabulous, he hates where he works and looks for a job where he will be “appreciated.” Life with him was Fresh Hell.

    Capricorn Moon in the 12th – well, just YUCK – no empathy, closed-hearted, was derisive of my yearning for love and romance. Sex was a “need” of his and nothing more. I was his “slave.”

    His crowded 8th House – He’s out to get the most he can from others without giving ANYTHING in return – and you should be thankful to give it to him, because he’s HIM. Then, even when he gets EXACTLY what he wanted, it’s never good enough, and he doesn’t appreciate it. Abusive physically, but mostly emotionally. The World OWES him a living.

    He was “happy” until I fought back against his abuse – then, I was being “mean” to him. I was loving, helpful, happy, prayerful and meditative – he hated that. He hates birthdays and holidays, especially Christmas. I made sure I celebrated them all with happiness. When I did not allow him to drag me to his vibrational level, and was determined to be the loving person I am – he could no longer exist in my positive energy. Evil tries to destroy the Light, but I would not be extinguished.

    I now have another chance to find True Love and give my children the happy, loving homelife I have always wanted! It could never be while married to such a Black Soul.

  63. I know one. Sun/Merc in Sag trine Pluto. Completely self-absorbed, there is no one as clever or developed or interesting as him. Pluto in t-Square with Venus in Scorpio and Moon in Taurus. Deep seated hatred/fear of women, to whom he must always be superior. While manipulating, undermining and gaslighting the women he gets sexually involved with, to other women he is charming and extremely likeable, so they don’t believe anything the wife/girlfriend may say about him. Mars/Jupiter in Capricorn – calculating, clever strategist, knows just how to work people – either to get them to like him, or drive them crazy. And he does it SO coolly. Jupiter opp Uranus – always takes and preaches the moral high ground. Neptune squares the Mars/Jupiter – he can find reasons and ways to justify things the ways he wants that leave you breathless. And he doesn’t realise he’s doing it. If he upsets you it is your fault. He NEVER in his mind does anything wrong. He still expects people he has shit all over to be friendly to him. And he loves to sit around and verbally trash people, but dresses it up as just examining the reality of a situation. He speaks very softly, and despite repeated requests from people, has never changed this. It’s as if by making people work so hard to hear him he thinks he’s special (?). I don’t know. He is half-Italian and loves to quote the mafia ‘business is business’, and ‘end justifies means’. All this, while neglecting everyday responsibilities to pursue his’spiritual path’.

  64. Had a supervisor once like this. Sociopathic, vindictive, etc. Had a dirty, foul heart. It was as if a dark, oppressive cloud would enter the room with him. Lotsa bad juju. Met his daughter once and she was a pleasant, truly decent human being. Couldn’t understand how such a wretch could raise a normal child. Comparmentalized life, I guess. All I knew was that he was a Libra yet he was the most perverse, unfair person I’ve ever met (next to my ex gf). Now those two would be a match made in hell!

  65. Ruth and yaypopcorn have some good ideas.

    My ex has moon conjunct pluto in Virgo, in 6th house. He also has Saturn and Jupiter both retrograde in the 10th house in Capricorn. The Sun neptune opposition doesn’t help either. The venus conjunct mercury in Taurus. He always knew the right thing to say. The scary part is he also has a grand trine. Everyone sees this. Try explaining this jerk and no one sees it. It was almost like he was two different people.

    He had a brutal childhood. I think it gave him a love hate relationship with women.

    Ten months after I left him, he moved in with his third girlfriend. She kicked him out six months later. All of this while he was fighting me for custody of our kids.

  66. hurt me, my feelings, a friend… or even that poor puppy (i like nature, animals)… be mean to them and i might psychologically sting you.

    Strong 1st house Pluto aspecting all my chart… im not mean, but im mean to those who are.

  67. I know someone who has become like this. They have had some really unfortunate things happen to them and if people don’t react the way they want them to, they hunt them down with taunting text messages and emails relentlessly. They want them to know what “pussy” they are for not contacting them and ignoring them. They dont’ stop either. I feel sorry for the people on the other end who don’t understand this person…strangely we get along very well so I personally have never had this problem with them much. PLuto in Leo in the 12th, Cancer Sun in the 11th, Virgo Moon in the First and Mars in Pisces in the 7th. This person will give you the shirt of their back but if you turn yours on them…look out.

  68. yayp–I like your breakdown.

    One might also call them bottomless pits, full of self-loathing.

    They cannot find a source of happiness independent of others. When blackhearts look to others, backhearts will tear them down instead of building themselves up.

    They are like the snow leopard in Kung-Fu Panda. Past a cetain age, it seems like they can’t be reformed.

  69. Hi Elsa

    It sounds like you’re talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These people can be incredibly cruel in order to get their fix of feeling superior to others. They are compulsive liars, and they will throw someone under the bus without a thought if it means feeling or appearing superior or better in some way. See, its not about the other person, or wanting to hurt the other person, its about using the other person. NPD people have virtually no self esteem. They actually loathe themselves and they need other people to use to try to make them feel better about themselves. Which is one reason why they’re not usually alone. They usually end up living or married to one victim or another. They can be quite charming and lovely if they want to be, and they will be to make people like them…..at first. But once you get to know them, they can become a freak show. I’ve known a few too. Scary people.

  70. I was friends with someone like that. He has Libra Sun, Virgo Moon, Venus in Scorpio, Pluto in Virgo, and Sag rising (from what I remember). Because his moon is in the 8th house, he instinctively knows what someone is thinking or feeling. He is very socially astute and can therefore manipulate any person or situation to whatever he wants. He is two-faced but will cut you down to your knees when he feels he has to. He has control issues and mean mommy issues that he conveniently leans on when he gets called out on (which he hates). When I started to hang out with him, a couple of people warned me about him. I stopped hanging out with him when I saw him try to break up the relationship of two friends of ours. He will stoop to conquer and it does not matter who he steps on. He needs to get his lights punched out. I hope I’m there to see it.

  71. blumarine – you sound like you’re describing my co-worker. she is an EVIL EVIL gemini. i am a sagittarius. she attacked me today but i’ve emotionally disengaged. i refuse to respond out fo fear.

  72. I also know a Libra with Borderline Personality Disorder – PSYCHO. She cut me out of her life (does this often with others as well) and I’ve never been happier.

    Also dated a Taurus with Moon in Aquarius, Venus in Gemini and Mercury in Aries – he could be really cruel and cutting (Merc in Aries tend to be this way) – fortunately I stood my ground and called him out on his b.s. – which he perversely enjoyed.

  73. Negative people are like human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too.

    One of the first things to do is to be aware of who the negative people are in your life. This may not be as easy as you first think.

    Here’s some of the signs to look for:

    “- you experience a sense of being demeaned, constricted or attacked.
    – you intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard.
    – you sense prickly, off-putting vibes. You can’t wait to get away from them.
    – your energy starts to fizzle. You may feel beleaguered or ill.”

    The following are names which you might recognize: the sob sister, the blamer, the drama queen, the constant talker or joke teller, and the fixer-upper (requires endless help).

    Also, pay attention to what the person talks about. Is it always about how bad things are. Do they just complain and never actually do anything about what’s upsetting them.

    Once you have a good idea on how to recognize them then you can actually work on protecting yourself from them.

    My strategy on how to deal with negative people is
    I understand why this person is so negative. It is because they hate their job, feel frustrated, feel trapped in their life or do they lack in self esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others. If you can understand where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” They believe this and think that if they don’t whine and complain that they won’t be heard and that this is the only way to get what they want.

    Negative behavior is a reflection of them. It tells you what kind of person they are and what issues they may be dealing with. It’s not a reflection of who you are.

    Just smile and remain completely detached
    Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.

    It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, “what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me.” This isn’t always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you’re aware of what’s going on around you. It’s easy to slip into auto-pilot and not realize until later how drained you feel. You need to detach yourself from the event while it’s happening and just observe it.

    This works well for family members who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.

    Say, “Now tell me something positive.”
    Right after they’ve finished telling you some tragic story, say to them, “now tell me a positive story”. Some people have no idea how negative they’ve become. That’s what they’re surrounded by day in and day out so it’s just become a way of life for them. By being given the reminder, they may actually realize that being negative isn’t the kind of person they want to be and may start to work on becoming more positive. Or, they may decide it’s not worth telling you their horror stories because you’ll ask them to think of something positive. Sob sisters (always whining, feel the world is against them, feel they’re victims) will probably not find you very attractive anymore.

    Imagine a bright white light surrounding you
    Yes, this sounds silly but if you can do it, it’s amazing how much of a difference it can make. You’ll feel that their negativity can’t touch you because you now have a force field protecting you.

    I used to have a really nasty manager who would constantly try to make me feel like an idiot. When I had a shower in the morning, I would imagine that I was being covered with a protective oil so that any of her comments would just slide right off me. I also put up a post it note on my computer that said, “Oiyli” which stood for “Only if you let it”. It reminded me that her comments could only hurt me if I let them. If was my choice as to how to react to her.

    I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a prod that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have these people, then I would probably just stay. So, sometimes I’m really grateful to these people because they’re giving me the “kick” that I need.

    Negative people want to get a reaction out of you. And the only way they can is if they hit on one your “buttons” or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example they may bring out past feelings of guilt or anger or make you feel like you’re being rejected or that you’re not good enough.

    So, if there’s one particular person who drains you the most, ask yourself why is it affecting you so much? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analysing what feelings it’s bringing up within you. Once you figure it out and deal with it then you’ll find that the energy draining person simply has no power over you anymore.

    Trying to feel needed
    Is listening to the complaints of the negative person your way of feeling valued? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then you need to start valuing yourself more and you’ll find that this just won’t happen anymore. Be selective about who and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you.

    A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after “helping” someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you’ve done is given over your own energy to them. This isn’t beneficial to you at all, and rarely does it help them in the long run.

    Try saying, “I love you, thank you, I’m sorry” over and over. This is kind of an “off the wall” kind of theory but it’s worth a try. If you want to read an article about how a doctor healed an entire mental institution simply by saying these words then read this story of Dr. Len. You can also listen to a couple of radio interviews with him on News for the Soul.

    You’re not responsible for the person’s life nor their negativity. You don’t have to feel guilty for them being unhappy. Let go of trying to fix or help them. That’s not what they want anyway. They want your energy and so you have to be strong and not give in to them.

    A suggestion in dealing with draining co-workers is to keep mentioning to the person that you have work to do and you can only listen to them for a minute. If after a few minutes, the person is still going on about the same thing then either change the conversation or politely but firmly end the conversation.

    It’s important to be able to let go of the idea that you owe everyone a solution. With some people you just have to let them go. They have to take responsibility for their own lives and they won’t if someone is always there to fix everything for them. So, Let Go! It sounds mean but it definitely doesn’t help them if they end up taking you down with them. In that case, then neither one of you is benefitting.

    10. Be enthusiastic and focus on your own energy
    If you can be higher energy than they are then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they’ll affect you.

    In Summary
    “Energy Vampires” are going to appear in and out of your life. The trick is to learn how to deal with them before they appear. If you don’t then they truly will suck all your energy right out of you without you even realizing it. They will also be having a huge effect on your life and whether you’re able to achieve your dreams and goals. Learn how to deal with negative people so that as you can, “be confident that no one can drain you if you don’t cooperate”. Your life will just instantly improve.

  74. Hi I had a run in with a black heart. I actually called him a dark soul and ended up writing a book about them having had a few run ins with them over the years. I realised too after speaking to my mother that my father was a dark soul as well. From a western diagnosis point of view they would be diagnosed with sociopathy, psychopathy or NPD. My view is that they know what they are doing although the NPD person tends to do it accidentally on purpose but whereas the blackest of all of them intententional goes out to victimise right from the beginning. Once we learn how to spot a Black Heart or a Dark soul before they spot us then we are half way there .

  75. Energy Vampires and negative people are like human black holes who are going to appear in and out of our lives.

    Here’s some of the signs she says to look for:

    “- you experience a sense of being demeaned, constricted or attacked.
    – you intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard.
    – you sense prickly, off-putting vibes. You can’t wait to get away from them.
    – your energy starts to fizzle. You may feel beleaguered or ill.”

    Do you understand why this person is so negative? Is it because they hate their job, feel frustrated, feel trapped in their life or do they lack in self esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others? If you can understand where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” They believe this and think that if they don’t whine and complain that they won’t be heard and that this is the only way to get what they want.

    The trick is to learn how to deal with them before they appear. If you don’t then they truly will suck all your energy right out of you without you even realizing it. They will also be having a huge effect on your life and whether you’re able to achieve your dreams and goals. Learn how to deal with negative people and be confident that no one can drain you if you don’t cooperate”. Your life will just instantly improve.

  76. From reading these comments and my own experience I notice that Jupiter in Scorpio (commonly Rx) comes up quite a bit. The people I personally knew had that with serious squares to Aquarius. And yes, these people also had a lot of Cap and Scorpio as well. 2nd place psychos include placements in cancer and gemini, usually near that in between cusp. Oh and Aries, cause Aries is gonna do what Aries wants to do, an if that means fuck you up…then mars away!

  77. These people are sociopaths, and yes I’ve had a run in with one. She is an aquarius and is an extremely jealous and envious person. She’s a pathological liar, and is a master at covering her tracks to make it look as though her victim is the one who attacked her.

  78. Several people have nailed this – and yes I have extensive experience having been brought up by one – my adoptive mother. She was NPD verging on Sadistic Personality Disorder, and I could spend the rest of the night listing textbook examples from her behaviour.

    Everything revolved around her – she had to dictate everything, be the centre of everything, and it was much more than selfishness, it was ‘black hole’ behavior which often veered itno crueetly, especially towards me. this was not only due to personality clashes from earliest childhood – it was also because I had [have] a handicap which she took as a personal insult.

    She later tried to treat my nephew, who suffered slight brain damage at birth, int he same manner – which resulted in her never seeing either of her grandchildren again. She hated all little boys anyway, for whatever reason. In general she took great delight in manipulating people, anbd esp in turning them against each others – especially family members. She spent years trying to stop my sister marrying, then trying to break up her marriage. I could go on and on… And yes, she was always belittling other people to big herself up.

    Why was she like this? God knows! She came from an extended loving family who nevertheless had lost their immense wealth in circumstances of some disgrace which I know always preyed on her (it offended her sense of entitlement!). Her father went off to fight in WWI when she was only two, and there was another baby soon after he got back – and history has it this new daughter who looked just like him was his favourite. Photos of my mother as a child show her always with a twisted mouth, down-turned, with a petulant, sulky and miserable expression, one wonders why? Were the staff unkind? Did one of them abuse her? – who knows. She certainly had all kinds of hang-ups inc about sex.

    Certain signs keep coming up in this thread and her astrology echoes that in part (No birthtime but I do know place of birth):

    Libra Sun
    Aries Moon
    Sun conjunct MC within 2 degrees
    Pluto and Saturn almost exactly conjunct – within .01 of a degree – in Cancer (and she certainly made home a hell for everyone)
    Mars and Mercury conjunct in Scorpio, less than 1 degree
    Jupiter and Uranus conjunct in Aquarius – you never knew who would get out of bed int he morning, or who would be on the end of the phone…
    Neptune exactly on the cusp of Leo 0.02 degrees
    Juno in Leo – she wore the trousers and actually beat up my Libra Dad, not just verbally…

    If she is Sag rising which I suspect – she had no diplomacy at all – then her Leo Neptune would be on the cusp of the 8th house.

  79. The other really nasty person I know (who I’d also put down as NPD) is a Scorpio Sun. I can’t remember his birthday – it’s round about now

    He’s a painter who distorts people’s personal lives to make his cartoonish paintings – they have no artistic merit but sell well enough to their ‘subjects’ make him a living. Being quite ugly he dresses in eccentric manner to make himself interesting – it’s also a kind of disguise. He spent years trying to destroy my life, after many attempts to get me into bed over several years. Others have many stories to tell of his spite and callousness.

    Like all NPD people, he can be very charming when he chooses and also very amusing, often at the expense of others

  80. My other post was swallowed, so I’ll try again.

    Ms. Black Heart gathered a few cronies over the years, most recently, the one who’s been going around boo-hooing because I’m a whore who almost destroyed her happy home. (Her husband was the one who started the whole thing, not that I should have perpetrated it, but she’s so far in denial…you know the rest.)

    I went wrong by doing this nonsense out of frustration in the first place. I might as well have painted a bulls-eye on my back. I already knew there were people who didn’t care for me, and I never thought what happened would go public (how stupid of me).

    That’s why Ms. Black Heart and her cronies were playing Keep-Away (now HOW childish is THAT?!?) with rose vase favors at that anniversary party I dreaded going to in the first place (old board post).

    As annoying and draining as that whole experience was, I don’t have to see or deal with those people again for a long time. Anyone (like the parasite no one can get rid of because she leeches on to whoever she perceives as “popular”) who supports a black heart has got problems of their own, and that’s an understatement.

  81. Oh! PinkMinxxx, I remember Sam V., he was a hot topic of discussion when the topic was on psychopaths and things of that nature over the summer. I remember a few people saying either he had a lot of research on the topic or that he was probably a psychopath himself, or both. Anyway, I was reading the article you linked and the name totally rang a bel. You could probably search his name here and see what I’m talking about, I hope that helps some…and that I’m not just rambling or recalling things that totally didn’t happen again. =)

  82. Seems like others have done a good job in describing this behavior, so I will omit further description. I do know two good examples of this, both are my family members and these people are both nice to outsiders (Libra rising) but operate in some very wicked, very co-dependent ways with other choice family members (who allow it for their own reasons, and this creates a sick partnership). They do create these situations, but I do not think it is fully conscious, if at all. Both of the people in question came from very bleak childhoods and I speculate that this was a way that they learned to get a little bit of power early on, when there was no other way for them to do so as children. By the time they became adults this had become habitual. Both have Sag Moons and both had very narcissitic, emotionally out-of-control mothers.

  83. My son is a text book black heart person. I don’t have time right now to read through everything here, but he does seem to pick and choose – based on who he thinks is vulnerable. He’s having a really hard time trying to get past the boundaries I’ve set up since he blew up our lives over the summer. I’ll come back and post more later.

  84. Wow! lots of good info on black heart defense . I rode horses when I was young little ponys can be cute but evil ,smart too. They will let you get in the saddle and smash you right to the ground , and trot away to do it again. I also was raised by a bully can see one a mile away , remember they are cowards turned inside out .

  85. I’m still going to read all this, but I have decided not to add to it further because what I have read so far is spot on! Also because I have spent years trying to get to the bottom of this person in my life and have spent the last few months trying to detach with love (I just can’t totally let go of my own child!). Reliving it through writing about it is not in my best interest – it’s still extremely raw.

  86. I agree an abusive person won’t apologize but blame the victim as “too sensitive” a “crybaby” or “think skinned”.
    Love shouldn’t have to be about shielding your soul and trust from an abusive family member, loved one or friend.
    The black-hearted are abusive possibly sociopaths.
    Unfortunately, I know enough about this because I was trapped in an abusive relationship. He was charming at first. As soon as we got married- bam- overnight the charm and social graces disappeared. I was now his property and he was verbally, emotionally and phyically abusive to me.
    The man I dated was a Scorpio with Scopio Rising. Thought he was superior mentally than others and preyed on the weak.
    There was no end to his acts of depravity.
    He was looking for a submissive wife to enable him by being a cover girl, so he looked like a nice family man, or a woman who would help him lure women over to his house, apt etc…
    I felt sorry for him at first because he was adopted and physically abused by alcoholic parents, but he didn’t want to break the cycle. He wanted to feel power over others.
    He went on to date rape underage girls, even got one pregnant.
    Dated strippers and prostitutes so he could feel superior to them. God forbid any women trusts him.
    What shocked me is that his adoptive mother encouraged him to treat women like whores. She reminded me of Norman Bates mother- drunk and screaming all the time.
    It was a dark time for me and still painful, but I cannot understand to this day the love of hurting others. But, I wasn’t raised to treat people like property or garbage and he was.

  87. Unfortunately, the two Scorpio men I have dated were cruel, self-centered.
    I did have a best friend that was a Scorpio so, it’s a gamble with Scorpios. It depends if they are emotionally mature or not.

  88. I was in a relationship with a man for three years who 1.) Grabbed me by the hair and bashed my head on the steel pole holding up our balcony on a Saturday night in Hollywood resulting in me being hauled off in an ambulance to get 14 stitches in my head. 2.) When I moved to San Francisco to get away from him followed me, found out where I was living and continually showed up at my doorstep unannounced. 3.) Beat my 2 year old daughter to the point of horrible bruising and once open hand slapped her face right in front of me. 4.) Spent $20,000 out of my checking account in a three month period on clothing and gambling. 5.) Threatened to kill my gay best friend because he “stole” me from him. I had to leave the state of California for a year just to get rid of him. I’m horrified to say I even gave him that much of my life but I was manipulated, controlled, and frightened.

    Scorpio Sun. Cap Rising. And ALL other planets in Cap, Libra, or Sag EXCEPT for Saturn in Gem. One of the strangest charts I’ve ever seen because EVERYTHING is stacked in the same neighborhood.

    • that’s horrible 🙁 i had similar experience with an Ex, he was not Scorpio sun, like your ex but mine was Aquarius Sun w/stellium, Mars Aqua and merc, with Capricorn moon and Aries Venus/jupiter in the chart. So much cardinal. I’m thinking its the Malefic, where i read even on this blog, Malefic is Saturn/Mars when turned gross. Your Scorpio sun ex, being Scorpio is Mars ruled also, with Cap/Libra lots of malefic energy. my Aqua ex was plutonic too. strangely with above comments mentioning alot of cruelty. but he was abused terribly when he was a child. So like the others above with their experiences, these men were cruelly abused and they can never trust anyone or let anyone into their hearts. Therefore, their hearts turned black and they lost their souls. Even you could say they lost their humanity. because loving is opening your heart to trust even if people dont always live up to your expectations. they are still good people out there. and no one is ever going to be perfect. Good post about Black heart!

  89. my $0.02

    people who don’t understand or who have never experienced synergism… or simply don’t believe in it.

    there will always be those who refuse to give, and simply feed.
    some afraid that life is a zero sum game and never learn the rewards of sharing.
    some too lazy to invest in anything that doesn’t offer immediate payback.
    some who don’t see any reason they shouldn’t get whatever they want.
    some who feel the need to control the lives of others (often out of feeling inadequate control over their own lives.)
    there are probably other explanations as well, but these are the ones i see/become aware of most often.

  90. I knew one when I was a kid, but I don’t know his birth date or time. He was a sociopath, and he knew that I saw through him right away. (I was only six.)

    the mean girls in high school. I dropped out when I saw that it wasn’t going to get any better, and I knew I couldn’t handle any more. Things got better for me after that – as much as I wish I hadn’t gone through certain things, I can see how that whole chain of events was supposed to happen.

  91. i think some people like to bitch. i think they probably don’t have any deep personal needs, so they stay on the surface. they might just be used to being aggressive. im not sure, some people can change. but i think some people just like it, like its their comfort zone. maybe they even find comfort in it.

  92. I think I work with one of these people, although, thankfully not too closely 0:)
    I would describe her as a toxic person. Sometimes, you meet people who have either a ‘black’ or ‘white’ aura and can feel their energy. This one is just plain black, dark, toxic! Not that I think she views herself as that tho’.
    I simply tend to keep my mouth shut, keep my opinion to myself and do the work I am paid for. Even when I have stood and watched her go through my desk trays, I have kept my mouth shut and patiently waited until she was done. If I had done that to her, I am sure there would have been really strong, blue words out of her gutter mouth, but I felt is far simpler to just stand, wait and that say, ‘all good’ and leave it at that.
    To the men in the office, butter would melt in her mouth and the sweetness drips, but to the rest of us women, we see/observe/leave it alone – much safer that way for all concerned 0:)

  93. We all have some dark emotions/memories through our varied life experiences. We learn to channel them constructively if we are mature. Picking on others takes your mind off of examining your own character and improving it. Protecting yourself at any cost to others becomes a destructive habit.

  94. In my family of origin, there is a nephew that I have nicknamed El Diablo. Definitely has a black heart. Very much enjoys putting people in difficult, humiliating, painful situations and likes to step back and watch the outcome. He’s admitted to this. Very sad because he was once an extremely beautiful and loving child. And now he destroys peoples lives.

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