People Who Others Badly Want To Control

saturn oranmentSome attract people who want to control them. I’m one of them. It must correlate with Saturn but how?

I suspect the person trying to control other people would be Cardinal but would the person who attracts this also be Cardinal? Or is it just my big mouth?

I don’t get the astrology of this crazy phenomena. I think it might also be 8th house. People feed here. They have expectations and desires around this. It’s like they’re in a restaurant here; if they don’t like what’s served they protest.

What do you think? What is the quality that makes people want to control a person, more than what is average?

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People Who Others Badly Want To Control — 46 Comments

  1. I have this too Elsa but I always thought it was a Pluto thing — my bound venus in the eighth or Pluto/Uranus in the eighth — or mars in the eighth squaring a scorpio moon. Something in there – Plutonian. Because Cardinals want to control and Saturn wants control; but Pluto wants you *under its control*.

  2. Interesting. I will have to think about this, eva. It seems such a powerless thing to do, I never considered Pluto. How freaky.

  3. And what if it is Aquarius / Uranus? What if they want to be the shocking one, lol?
    What a complicated question.

  4. I thought it was a pluto thing too.

    Wanting to be the shocking one seems more like competition than controlling you for power.

  5. I am always amazed when people complain about what they get for free.

    I used to work in an independent cigar store that had a location in a mall and we participated in the mall-wide trick or treating event on halloween every year. it was always a sticky proposal. if we gave out candy people would complain that we were trying to entice young people to smoke. so we ended up giving out small bags of mixed nuts (far more expensive than candy). people complained about that too! “hey, this is crummy! I don’t like nuts!” “well sorry, we just ran out of Dove bars.” “really?” “no.”

  6. I’m not sure if I’ve understood what some of you are saying, that it’s a pluto/8th house thing to *want* to control another or to find yourself being controlled? I’m sure it can go both ways, it’s not always determined in such a fixed way by astrology alone of course..

    I have to say though, that I think pluto and the 8th does play a big part, certainly given the fact that 8th housers tend to attract projections from others (I know, we can be guilty of this ourselves, it’s human) but I have a stellium in the 8th, with pluto in it, and power struggles in relationships – with me often fighting the attempts of others to control me – has been very big in my life unfortunately, and also with family i.e. it’s not me just attracting “difficult” or controlling partners. I have just begun to tie this into my astrology, and from what I have read it seems to fit. I’m not sure what the explanation is, but I do think the 8th plays a part. What fun 😉

  7. Interesting. I just fimished watching “Il Divo”, a fictional film on Giulio Andreotti, who was an Italian Prime Minister in multiple governments in the 1980’s. This man was all about control (he started his political career as a movie censor). Had to check his astrology too, and he is (he is still alive, at 92) a double Capricorn, Moon in Cancer.

  8. Hi Elsa! Perhaps since October 2011 you are noticing it more because it’s a Universal Year 5 and folks have a dire need to communicate. Unfortunately what’s communicated by a small number of folks is generally spontaneous, thoughtless interaction that has a significant emotional impact on others. Unbeknown to many they trigger a War of Words that not only agitate the blogger but the readers too. The only way to nip it in the bud is censorship and you know how We the People hate that. What may help is recognizing that the widespread idle talk is temporary, and the Universal Year 5 will pass.

    I don’t know the astrology of it but I know numerology. If you’ve been dealing with this all your life, check your numbers, perhaps you have a Karmic Lesson 2.

  9. Having said that, my ex had Pluto in the 7th and had major issues with controlling others, including me. Not cool!

  10. @Satori, wow, I absolutely get what it must have been like to run a cigar business in a mall, working in a business located in a mall (even if it’s the most alternative one in the town) and being a wife of an afacionado (indulging myself too, on occasion, even if I’m not even a regular party smoker).

  11. I’m not sure cardinal people attract people wanting to control us more often than fixed or mutable, but I am sure that we notice sooner and object to it more fiercely. I think a strong Pluto/8th would notice this most of all because of being so aware of energy exchange on all levels.

  12. Pluto. Neptune also, but mainly Pluto.

    Libra sun-Pluto here, have attracted a lot of controlling people/abusive relationships. Never understood what was going on because…I’m so ‘nice’ dammit! I.e., it’s their problem, not mine. I am coming to understand that clearly, it is MY problem, and addressing my own internal relation to this Plutonic stuff is the only way I can potentially avoid abusive relationships in future.

    I think with me it’s shadow stuff. Refusing to ‘own’ my own inner control freak and therefore meeting with it in exterior circumstances.

    Have seen this in a lot of people’s charts with strong Pluto…especially when the people are outwardly very pleasant and nice. What they don’t own in themselves gets acted out in their lives, because Plutonic energies are there regardless and demand some kind of reckoning. They attract people who act out these themes for them.

    Not saying this is how it works for everyone, but it seems pretty prevalent. And it is how it works for me.

    (I have a strong Neptune as well. That is a whole ‘nother subject, but I can see how it plays into the control stuff. It throws a smokescreen over who you are, so others don’t see a person but a projection–and a projection is a lot easier to try to control.)

    • Ahhh I totally have this problem. Venus trine pluto (exact by progression), venus opposite neptune, mars square pluto, north node in my jupiter expanded 8th house. I’m a projection for other people unless I can completely own my opinions, needs, and desires. My chart definitely tells this story since pluto is at the apex of a yod.

      The hard part is I am naturally inclined to make myself invisible rather than risk hurting someone by asserting that I’m an independent person. These energies really will come out one way or another so it’s best to acknowledge them and face them head on. No more sneak attacks.

  13. I’m a cardinal person, but I’ve found Mars Saturn Pluto conjunct my ASC seems to draw authority clashes (sometimes not even of my own doing). It freaking sucks! oh well, lessons.

  14. i think people are drawn to energy and try to feed on it, and get mad when they’re not fed what they think they should be when they show up for dinner unannounced at someone else’s house.

  15. You are so right, Elsa, as always! I never though about this before. This is a cardinal thing, the energy isn’t steady/ fixed and can’t be compromised/ mutable. “Over-controlling” seems to be a symptom of an afflicted 2nd/8th house thing-Venus/Pluto ruled. “I have”(2nd) the Power (8th)”. These people tend to feel that they have nothing if they don’t dominate others. They often feed on others with a strong Neptune in these houses or other cardinal signs because they can’t see it coming until it is too late.

  16. I know what you mean. I have Saturn in the 8th and I attract these people constantly. But I also have it mashed up with Uranus and Neptune, so the story gets a little convoluted. Someone sees me, dreams me up (Neptune)and starts feeding on my energy (8th house), at which point I get realize the bottom is going to fall out, so I detach and rebel (Uranus), and they panic and start controlling things (Saturn). Or I get someone who is enchanted by my youth and individualism (Uranus) so they idealize me (Neptune) and try to live through me (8th house) and get very unhappy when any of my actions don’t fit their image. It is SO frustrating.

    The last guy I tried to date had Uranus/Pluto opposite Saturn, and the whole thing was a comedy of errors. This phenomenon was so pronounced. Every time I’d try to be independent he’d crack down, but if I settled down he’d get bored and restless. Either way, I always felt like he was directing a movie I didn’t know I was in.

    Like Elsa said in one of her videos, “Find somebody you DO and like and leave me the hell alone!” 😀

  17. Cardinal sun and cardinal rising here. I have Pluto in Leo in the 7th. Saturn on my DC in a cardinal sign exactly squares my cardinal sun. My Dad was super controlling. So I “decided” in both of my ex marriages that I would be the controller. Didn’t work out well at all though….

  18. “Find somebody you DO and like and leave me the hell alone!” 😀

    LOL. That’s funny. Annalisa told me once, people wanted to stick their hand up my ass and move my mouth for me. That might have been VA, huh>

    Anyway, it’s true. I get all kinds of techniques. From scolding to threats to shaming, you name it.

    It’s all a waste of time. If I am not afraid to leave the house with my lipstick on crooked for the last 30 years, I don’t know how you are going to embarrass me and if you actually hurt me, my husband will make you regret that to a degree you can’t begin to fathom.

    • OMG- “OL. That’s funny. Annalisa told me once, people wanted to stick their hand up my ass and move my mouth for me. That might have been VA, huh” I get this feeling from people all the time.

      I wonder if it comes down to something as simple as that there are more narcissists in the world than we thought. Haha!

  19. …and my cardinal Neptune is exactly sextile to my Pluto in the 7th. And Chiron cardinal is exactly conjunct my neptune, so is exactly sextile my Pluto in the 7th too. Explains a lot. I was a marked woman from birth!

  20. People always want to boss me, control me. People who don’t know me very well, acquaintances, coworkers. I think it’s because I’m what they consider vague.

    I just don’t care enough to come down firmly about it or to fight. If it hits on something I care about, they’ll find out soon enough that there’s no bossing a Taurus.

    Those who know me don’t even try. I love that in them, the ability to just let people be.

  21. Definitely a Pluto thing in my book. Pluto likes to control and dominate others, and failing this to be a martyr and a victim (a more subtle way of exerting control, via guilt).
    Of course, once one is aware of what’s going on, one can choose to free oneself from the scenario. It’s simply a decision to make: “I will honor myself and never let anyone control, dominate or manipulate me in any way! I’m free!”
    Of course, I’m very Uranian…

  22. it`s not the 8th house, neither is it a cardinal attitude

    it`s that the average person is emotionally insecure, some act it out with toughness, coolness, some do it by becoming an emperor without clothes

    you can see the same pattern on certain social networking sites

    if you think you are “not enough”, you are going to try to compensate it, with anything your childhood issues might be throwing at you

    if you think you “are enough”, than there`s no need to impress, you can listen to others without judgement, you can let others unfold their personalities, than it`s up to you how you react to it

  23. The two most controlling people I’ve known have been cardinal. First, a male with Cancer sun conjunct Jupiter and Pluto opposite Capricorn moon conjunct Saturn, all square Uranus in Aries. The second is a female with Aries Sun in the 8th house, Scorpio moon opposite Taurus Venus, all square a stellium of Saturn, Pluto and Mars in Leo. Neither of these cardinal people would have let themselves be controlled by anyone, especially with respect to finances! The second one tried to control a male with stellium in Cancer, but he fought back with passive resistance. Funny, I always thought cardinals were leaders, not takers!

  24. @libra rising

    being controlling and not letting be pushed around are two different things

    the first person with Cancer in Pluto is more like a bitter old man, who lost his patience, he has uranus in aries natally, he was born in the great depression, don`t be surprised of his attitude

    the second person is not full cardinal, only the sun is in cardinal sign, you have stellium in leo, that`s fixed, scorpio moon, that`s also fixed, venus in taurus, that`s also fixed

    fixed signs also tend to be stubborn and can`t be pushed around

    the difference is that cardinal signs are only stubborn in certain things and have predictable reactions to threats, while fixed signs are stubborn in everything and tend to resist almost any type of radical change

    cardinal signs are initiators, not necessarily leaders, they might start up a company, but don`t expect it to run smooth with them at the driving seat

  25. @Gods Left Hand : I agree fully.
    I think controlling behaviour is the insecure and a human behaviour thing.

    I get it a lot from all signs, they are bossy, pushy people, think they know everything (more than you). Ha!

    What sad bastards they are! (Scorpio Moon swearing)

  26. @Gods left hand

    I forgot about the type of people who don’t necessarily want to control but also won’t be pushed around. The fixed signs.

    You make some pretty fair points in response to my comment!


  27. @Gods left hand

    I’ll have to private message my response incase Elsa deletes my comment before you read it.

    She doesn’t allow free speech and she’s stubborn.

    😉 I’m too smart for her though! WAY too smart!

  28. I don’t delete people’s comments. I don’t even have an opportunity to read them all, though I do try.

  29. @Gabrielle

    I had girlfriends with scorpio moon, it works a little bit different 😛

    if you are afraid to empower yourself, people will push you around

    the tyrant and the slave are basically the different sides of the same coin, the first one is afraid of power, thus he fights fire with fire, the second one is also afraid of power, so he tries to hide away and he`s the one pushing the responsibility on others

    you do that with your general attitude, some like to call it “vibe”

    psychology 101: the abuser and the victim are basically the same, this is why the find each other so easily 😀

    they teach in school how to read, write and do complicated maths, yet teachers fail to give us guidance on “how to grow up”

  30. @gods left hand

    “if you think you are “not enough”, you are going to try to compensate it, with anything your childhood issues might be throwing at you”

    “if you think you “are enough”, than there`s no need to impress, you can listen to others without judgement, you can let others unfold their personalities, than it`s up to you how you react to it”

    Love this! By the way, love this!

  31. This is great Elsa. Although being Plutonian with an 8th stellium, I get the projection. I get the folks who want to control me. I feel in the last 5 years though I have gotten a better feel for when that energy is being exercised and I exorcise pretty quickly.

  32. its definitly pluto/scorpio,signs who well if they are scared of power as you call it,but the problems is for them,everyone has power,poor things.anyone to want another to be there slave is breaking the buts ifs or maybes,no one
    should be a slave to another person wicked ways.

  33. I am one of those magnets. Most people seem to expect a lot from me though I’ve always been pretty average. I realized it very young that when I showed promise or skill in something it would bring out people’s controlling nature- a sort of expression of greed flits by their face. Used to scare me as a kid, in a silly sort of way.
    Or maybe it happens to everybody and I only observe it with Sun, Pluto, Mercury in 8th.

    Some people do believe they are genuinely guiding/mentoring me – ‘do exactly as I say and you will be successful/better/safe/okay.’ I’ve heard that a lot. Saturn’s in 10th, dunno if that matters.
    I don’t let them. It’s conjunct Uranus 😉

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