Paying Another Person’s Debts

Virgo Avenger started a thread on the board asking who would bail you out of jail – a friend or a family member.  I feel either would bail me out and this reminded me of something, Ben told me when we talked a few days ago.

He said he had given a couple he knows a fairly large amount of money. He doesn’t have a lot of money so basically he gave this couple what he did have and told them if they could not find the rest of what they needed, they should come back and he would try to help them more. I assumed he meant, they should come back after payday and he told me this tentatively.

He was tentative about telling me because the money will be used to pay the IRS so these two don’t go to jail.   Apparently a good number of people have told him he should not have donated to their cause but he said he has known the couple for going on 3o years and they have always been supportive of him.

“30 years of friendship is worth something,” I said. “Supportive friends are very hard to find, especially people who will stick with you over decades so. It’s pretty much priceless so I think that was right.”

He was very relieved when I agreed his decision as no one likes being told their a dumb ass when they’re following their heart. This is a (fair) exchange of energy from my perspective.

Who you give your money the way, Ben did? Why or why not?

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Paying Another Person’s Debts — 15 Comments

  1. If I was ever to give anyone money again, it would only be to someone I had known for a long time, and with whom I’d had a lot of traffic. I’ve been burned before by people who gave me a sob story. These were people who were supposed to have a good reputation but turned out not to.

  2. “no one likes being told they’re a dumbass when they’re following their heart”.

    So true! I would give my money too. A supportive relationship is worth more to me.

    • My husband doesn’t have any money either but he still paid for his friend’s education when he got sober after being drunk for decades.

  3. i’ve never given money, for i have none to give. but i give time, effort and ability.

    as of late; that time, effort and ability has been spent on pursuits that were not directly intended for my benefit. though i know (and hope) that reciprocity will prevail and karma will kick in when i need it most.

    but it is true, the hours expended to the advantage of someone else correlates directly to the intimacy of that relationship. the feather endeavor would never had been for not the psychological and emotional bond between the bFFF and myself.

    6 straight weeks to pull her ass out of debt when i’ve have twice as much as she? i was called a fool for my devotion to the cause by several others in our circle. but, i can postpone student loans when i fall behind.. she needed the electric back on and her car not repossessed. so i gave everything i could. and you bet your fuckin ass she KNOWS she’s lucky to have me.

  4. That is awesome Elsa – what a good friend.

    When I think of all the times I have been helped in my life whether it was money, help, someone to talk to or whatever it makes me extremely grateful.

    “As long as I am able” translates to as long as I am alive with me, lol.

  5. A friend of mine once told me that he believed you should lend someone a decent sum of money without expecting it back, at least once in your lifetime. I thought that was pretty nice.

    If I lend money, I try to be smart about it, but after hearing that, I decided to just never expect it back. Besides, if I’m lending you money, you’re my friend or family. Money will never come between us.

  6. I grew up with very little material possessions. While my 2nd house Sun tends to hold onto things with a tight grip , my 7th house Moon watches over those I care about. Venus trine Moon… both of these makes it easier to give things to loved ones even when I want it for my own ends.

    But first the reason for wanting it has to “pass” my Scorpio stellium. It laughs at the radio TV / magazine ads that claims “the need is great… Give Now!!” Really? I remember seeing this ad back in my childhood. Where’d the money go??

  7. @dolce – very well said! I agree completely.

    Money really is never an issue. If I have it, I will gladly give it to you. Of course, that’s as long as I trust that you will appreciate it. And that has nothing to do with whether or not I think I’ll get it back. If I suspect I’m being used or taken for granted, then forget it. “Where much is given, much is required.” So sayeth Saturn in Libra.

    This post made me actually take a moment and take stock of the people in my life. I’m happy to report that yes, I do have people in my life who would bail me out. And some would not expect it back. It really made me happy to realize that!

    (However… only one of those people is actually a family member. The other family members would either let me sink or obligate me to a life of indentured servitude.)

  8. I have given money poorly in the past.. but a dear friend of 10 years needed a loan to save his condo so I helped him out by loaning him my line of credit. He has paid it all back and it has cemented our friendship. I have this as part of my jupiter in pisces in the 5th square neptune in sag in the 2nd and my pluto/venus. I’ve come to learn I can only do it for people I’ve known forever and who have integrity. Otherwise I no longer lend what I can’t afford to lose. A gift of a huge amount? That would be tough as I have security issues. But most likely if they were that close to me and it would save their life.

  9. I helped my sister secure a solid lawyer when she was divorcing her ex husband. He had the military at his side; I wanted her to have solid support on hers as well.

    My immediate family and my Tribe, no question.

  10. I would give to charity or to strangers. I would definitely give my parents and my sister. I like this thread. I think a fairly large part of my life’s lessons are going to be about energy and financial exchange.

    I too have a couple of friends to whom I would give financial help to without any expectations or hesitation.

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