How Best To Counsel The Depressed?

Here is a question for y’all, especially those of you who have been through situational depression. What helps the most? Just as importantly, what should be avoided?

Astrologically, I am talking about a Virgo Moon suffering a Saturn transit and feeling that now is forever.

Thank you…


Comments

How Best To Counsel The Depressed? — 25 Comments

  1. throwing out stuff i didnt need helped recently when Saturn squared my Sag moon, sorry it is different i know. Being minimal raised my confidence. Crying was a big part. Patience was accesible even though now was still forever. Dressing all in one color felt good.

  2. I fare well with talking as little as possible. Paring down the unnecessary chatter. Lots of baths. Eating fruit. Losing myself in a book.
    I listen to very little music when I’m depressed. With my Neptune I’m easily led down the wrong path that way.

  3. I am a virgo moon who recently suffered a saturn transit/big time betrayal/broken heart. Part of what helped me was practically looking at exactly how long it was going to last, so I could say to myself, ok, two more months, and I will feel otherwise in some ways because this transit will be over…. I cried a lot. I listened to my friends tell me that things would change, and I felt that I just didn’t believe them, but it still helped to hear. I didn’t try to push myself, i went ahead and refined my goals while giving myself the space to not do anymore than realize they were there. That helped. It is hard, but nothing lasts forever.

  4. I have suffered of a deep depression, when very deep doesn’t matter if situational or not. Some people say you: “go out, have fun”. Now, you don’t say that to a person with a acute disease, what you say is ‘take a rest’. Well, a depresed person need rest, mainly a rest of responsabilities and duties. If you can give the permission give it, or give it to yourself (just in case) because you need it. You need to release yourself of guilties that may be you don’t know you have. There are things you can do, and things you can not, i.e: the children hungry in Africa (believe or not that affects some depresed people) this person need permission, acceptance and humility. I could take advantage of uranus challenge to saturn. Uranus is in piscis a sign that facilitates the surrender and the acceptance and confidence in destiny, defying a hipercritic saturn. Without denying the causes of depression (it doesn’t work) meanwhile the person’s soul heal, you can accept your reality and trust there is a meaning in the situation some day you can reach. Meanwhile the subject can work with his/her moon, with the day-to-day things that connect whit life. It worked for me.: a capuccino, a movie, a god chat with someone, something well done. THen a day I realized I was no more depressed. I don’t know when the moment happened, but it finally happened.

  5. Having goals, of any kind. Even if your goal for the day is going out to buy a loaf of bread, that’s absolutely essential to get out of depression.
    Because depression is also a negative sense of accomplishment and even doing tiny little things can help turn that around.

  6. Depending on the depth of depression, here’s what helped me when I was severely depressed and motivated me to fight on. I began to visualize the depression as a vicious, determined woman, named Depression, wearing a short black skirt, knee-high boots, with long black hair, and crazed, vicious eyes. She’s wielding a knife or a razor and she’s going to KILL me. She’s coming after my life. She’s coming to kill me, to murder my daughter’s mother, my husband’s wife, my best friend’s friend. She’s coming and she’s not going to be deterred, so I have to fight back. I have to shut her out, slam the door in her face. I have to kick and scream and FIGHT FOR MY LIFE. She doesn’t care if she’s got a black eye and a bloody nose, she’s gonna keep on coming, until I’ve got her beat, until I’ve won. Until she’s locked outside the door and unable to get into my soul.

    This is a mental exercise. The next thing is to figure out what things feed her? For me, it’s avoidance of responsibilities. Someone above mentioned that letting a depressed person off the hook for their responsibilities is a good thing, but for me that is always a bad thing because that’s something that feeds Depression. She thrives on that. Because, see, for me, giving myself permission to not do this work right now, or answer this phone call, or get the mail today, or whatever I’m avoiding–well, it’s enticing because it FEELS like taking care of myself, but its not really. Not when Depression is coming after me. Then what it is Depression’s lure–it’s how she lures me in sometimes, looking like a sweet loving mom with a hot tea and a blanket saying, “Here…rest a minute, darling…while I SLIT YOUR THROAT!!!”

    So, I guess it might depend on the person. Obviously. But, I can’t let myself not answer that phone call, not open that mail, not do my work, because that’s how she gets in again. That’s her crack in my door.

    So, um, that may sound insane, but that’s how I kick Depression’s ass.

  7. gave a friend a book on depression when he was going through a situational thing. he said the thing that helped encourage him was the depression inventory in it. he could chart that he was getting better over time, which might appeal to virgo moon. proof. (was one of the david burns books).

    writing helps me a lot, and journaling might be good for a virgo moon as well. the expression is cleansing, and a private jounal is very nice. you can dump the emotional stuff via writing.

    it also helps me a lot to listen to uplifting recordings (music or workshop stuff or zen books or whatever) and read lots of new age stuff. just filling my head with peaceful, calming, loving sounds and sentiments of any kind i can.

    i avoid people that want to talk about the situation is all the time. it was tiring. i wanted a break.

  8. Situational depression? What? Life is situational. Scorp sun/Cap moon I know how deep the deep can get and Saturn’s discipline could be taken the wrong way if you don’t believe the pain ain’t going away. What I appreciate is knowing a good pal has my back, tells me “I’m there, IYNM.” And means it … any time. Depression can turn dark and lonely when there’s no one keeping the promise. Every sign, every moon needs back-up. I’ve seen lovely, lonely ones fall off the edge/slip through the crack/never to come back.

  9. Rkkggg, I’ma gonna have to try that. She’s like the villainess in “Fatal Attraction.” She’s not going to boil our bunnies, by God. Awesome.

  10. I had one of these. It was very bad. Very dark. Almost didn’t come out.

    I felt like I was at the bottom of a deep old well in an old dark basement, standing in slime up to my knees. I was too tired to crawl out. Too tired from trying and failing. And stuck in a basement wet and cold all alone. Tired of crying and just getting more wet.

    For awhile I thought maybe if I just examine what is down here, I will find something. I sifted through the muck and tried pulling up some of my deepest shames and fears. So that I could face them and maybe it would all go away.

    But what finally got me out of it was first – the day I got angry. I got angry, and lost yet another friendship – a 20 year friendship(the situation was that a mass loss of foundational relationships). And everyone was on my back for being so angry. But no matter what they said, I just knew I felt better. It felt better to be angry than to be stuck in that apathetic hopeless well.

    Later I realized that when I got angry, it was a sign of healing. Because somehow I had decided (unconsciously) that I was worth fighting for.

    The anger helped me understand what I needed to do, but it didn’t really get me out of it. (Because when I looked around me at the damage, there was just more loss.)

    There is this emotional guidance scale from the Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction book. And what it shows is that you don’t go from rock bottom (Depression / Despair / Powerlessness, etc.) to Joy in one shot (most of the time). Any more than most people can go from just waking up after a long night to jumping around, singing loudly.

    There is an order to these things. And it makes sense. They describe it like a ladder. And you reach for the next available rung – not the top. If you are depressed, reach for guilt or jealousy or anger.

    It is a much easier step than trying to reach “magically” for sudden return to contentment or happiness (as at least, the people around me, seemed to think I should).

    When I tried to reach for happiness, and it was too far away, it just felt like more futility. Like it would never end. I would never get there.

    But reach for guilt – I could do that. Reach for anger – I could do that.

    This was a massive relief. And eventually I did climb out.

    I have a few “Virgo parts” – and I think this approach to “emotional work” would appeal to a Virgo moon.

    Abraham Hicks emotional guidance scale

    1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
    2. Passion
    3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
    4. Positive Expectation/Belief
    5. Optimism
    6. Hopefulness
    7. Contentment
    8. Boredom
    9. Pessimism
    10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
    11. Overwhelment
    12. Disappointment
    13. Doubt
    14. Worry
    15. Blame
    16. Discouragement
    17. Anger
    18. Revenge
    19. Hatred/Rage
    20. Jealousy
    21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
    22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

  11. Ohh, this is a tough one cause everyone is different. Personally for me, depression equals unexpressed anger usually. If I can find some ways to get out of my head and into my body that helps huge because when you look good, you’re not as hard on yourself. Self hatred is BAD. So exercise is key. Plus it helps release all that STUFF. Having animals around is awesome. Dogs and cats need caring for and get you out of bed in the morning. It’s hard to be depressed around a purring kitty. Faith in God or spiritual faith and hope, prayer and getting outside to appreciate the beauty of nature is very healing (I’m lucky I live in a beautiful place – not in an inner city). Making yourself maintain connections with other people and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone helps too. My volunteer work helped immensely because it wasn’t always about me.

  12. I’m a Virgo moon and Saturn is sitting right on top my Virgo ascendant, it’s exact in 2 days. Ahhhhhh, I can feel this entry so hard. This is not a fun time for me. I woke up crying this morning.

    It’s helped me to go out and be with people (and drink heavily). Distraction is key, to avoid the single thought that gets you circulating in that drain of depression. Also sleep and lots of it helps. B Vitamins also, St. John’s Wort. Good, delicious food heals the soul. Books are also key. When I’m really depressed sometimes I forget to learn things and am surprised how Wikipedia can perk me up, even if it’s for a minute.

  13. I have a Virgo moon, but transiting Saturn won’t conjunct it for another 11 degrees…but I have to say that most things I’ve read about that transit scare me, even though I’ve studied astrology for a while, and I’m totally apprehensive about how this will hit me come December. Does anyone know any constructive use to put this transit to, aside from anticipating that I’ll likely feel depressed?

    My moon is in my 10th house and I’ve already noticed lately that I’m starting to get harshly critiqued at work, even though I’ve been doing thousands of things right for them for over a year and used to get great reviews. And being criticized in really weird, suspicious ways, as though I was somehow up to no good after a year of proving my integrity.

  14. For the virgo moon.

    1. clean house. I don’t mean scrub I mean organize and purge.
    2. Read fiction.
    3. Put yourself on a healthy healthy diet.
    4. Find one rewarding crafty thing to do. Do it. Be proud of it. Take pictures of it. Show it to your friends. Be done. One is enough. Really, you do better than most with one. Leave it alone after one crafty thing. This does not mean a whole new hobby. This is one thing to focus on while the situation ebbs.
    5. Find other people who have been in the same situation. Shaudenfraude isn’t the mean thing we make it out to be. Learning that other people at the top of their game are just as scared/depressed/etc. as you are is a relief. Go get some relief.

    Those are your responsibilities. Beyond that you are not responsible for anything. Those will be your accomplishments, beyond that you need no other accomplishments to be just great.

    Breathe for a while. If you think about the situation try to put it in a timeline of what your whole life might look like from beginning to end. There will be just this little blip of this particular situation when you are all said and done and think of the lessons/maturity/perspective/understanding that you’ve gained from this blip. Or what you want to gain from this blip. Does it allow you to counsel a younger friend going through this in a few years? Does this allow you to have more patience with people in other similar situations? Try to work with what you gain or want to gain and focus on practicing that.

    Oh and take hugs when they’re offered. I know, it’s hard, but take em when you can get em.

    And everyone can repeat this advice back to me in about 9 months when Saturn does a doozy on MY moon. 🙂

  15. When Saturn hit my moon/mercury conjunction in Cancer, I was 16 years old and an exchange student halfway around the world from my home. I spent a lot of time retreating to my room, writing in my journal. I don’t think I’ve ever written as much as I did that year. I took great comfort in my host mom, who didn’t really understand what was going on with me, but was smart and perceptive enough to be supportive, and who’d do little things like bring me a cup of coffee out of nowhere, and who’d sit and listen to my troubles. I don’t know if I’d have made it through the year without her support.

    I agree with those above who said that a sense of accomplishment is key. I was extremely focused on learning the language of my host country and put a lot of work into it, which helped. That was also because a major cause of my depression was my complete inability to communicate. (saturn restriction on moon/mercury, go figure) Identifying the cause of depression, while easier said than done sometimes, is a huge help, because if you don’t know the cause of the problem, it’s extremely difficult to address.

  16. The Sun and Saturn are right on top of my Mercury right now…Saturn is almost exactly conjunct.

    I have OCD that’s biologically based, and depression comes with it. That was when I wasn’t medicated–I’ve been so for 4 years, and haven’t suffered another relapse. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was well into my 30s, even though I’ve had it on and off since I was a kid. (Most OCD sufferers had their first bouts as kids or teens, and had no idea what was going on.)

    I haven’t suffered from situational depression in many years. The last time it happened, Pluto was transiting my Neptune, which is rough for anyone. I felt like everything was crashing down around me. It took a while for me to pull out of it, but I saw it through.

    All these planets passing through Virgo lately have been forcing me to clean up my act. I’ve been planning out craft and house painting projects to keep my frenzied mind busy (natal unaspected Virgo Mercury). I’ve been anal about cleaning the house, when I wasn’t before. Anything that keeps my mind BUSY is keeping the stress of Saturn away from me. If I sit there and do nothing, I’ll freak myself out with the dirt and unfinished house projects that are scattered around.

    Also, nothing gets a sunny 5th house Leo Sun down for too long… 😉

  17. TRUST that your going to feel better. Trust that these depressed feelings will move along. Trust that
    you’re ok. Trust that you will move through it. Trust that you will come out the other side.

  18. I have a 6 planet Virgo Stellium. and my moon is
    in sag. So right now
    1. Saturn is squaring my moon.
    2.Saturn is conj my Jupiter (all squaring my sag moon)
    3. Pluto in sag is squaring my venus,merc,uranus in virgo.

    So far leading up to the conj 4 relatives have died. My best friend died of Lupus she was only 51. I lost mu job and moved in with my virgo boyfriend. (I am a virgo too) I had to move 125 miles away from what is left of my family. I don’t have any friends here. I am currently without a way to drive because I am trying to switch my paperwork to IL for registration. My 101 year old Nanna lives back home and she is about to run out of money and we are going to have to put her in a nursing home. I don’t know what to tell you, stuff will just be throwing itself at you out of the air. BEST ADVICE FROM A 101 YEAR OLD WOMAN MY NANNA..DON’T THINK ABOUT TOMORROW. THINK ABOUT TODAY, TRY TO GET THROUGH THE DAY AND FIND THINGS TO DO. DON’T LET YOUR MIND WONDER IF YOU KEEP BUSY EVENTUALLY THE TIME WILL PASS. IS IT RUNNING FROM YOUR PROBLEMS WELL MAYBE BUT NANNA IS 101 SO MAYBE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING..I wish I could tell you the depression thing will stop. I just try to physcially exhaust myself so when night comes, I can fall asleep and dream…

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