Cheating on your spouse is so prevalent now, many are conditioned to think affairs / infidelity is to be expected at some point in a marriage. Here are my questions:
- Did one (or both) or your parents cheat?
- When did you find out? How old?
- How did you feel?
- How do you feel now?
- How did your parents fidelity (or lack of it) affect you as an adult.
Where is your Venus?
My dad was married to my sister’s mom and used to take money out of the cash register at her salon to take my mom out on dates.
I’m 100% sure he cheated on her when they were married, but I was a year old when they were divorced.
I do not believe in cheating. I would never do it, because I know how it feels to be cheated on and do not want to be responsible for someone else’s emotional pain.
Sun in Pisces, conjunct Venus in Pisces and mars in Aries.
Not that I know of and with all my Scorpio I have an excellent ‘nose’ for that kind of thing . . . just ask my ex-boyfriends! They had been married for just short of 63 yrs at the time of my mom’s death.
Libra Sun-Moon, Venus in Sagittarius in the first
oh yeah, fidelity is a life-style for me. Strictly monogamous person and NO tolerance for cheating.
My parents never cheated on one another. Neither did my grandparents. My father always said that he made an agreement when he got married and by god you stick to your promises. I doubt my mother would have had the ambition to step out on my dad, though with her beauty, surely had the opportunity.
Cheating is anathema to me and I personally find it shocking. Marriage is love but also a contract, and I’d no more expect you to violate it than I’d expect you to commit a felony.
Venus in Gemini. We’re not all hound dogs.
My father cheated on my mother, I was 14. I hated him for it. I have forgiven him and let it go now.
I don’t think it has affected my relationships. I have never cheated on anyone I have dated, and I don’t think I would cheat on someone that I was married to. I would be severely disappointed in myself if I did.
Venus in Aries
My parents didn’t cheat as far as I know. My Venus is in Virgo and the idea of cheating is disgusting to me. It seems so…unhygenic — and I mean that spiritually as well as physically and emotionally.
No they haven’t.
My mom and dad are very old fashion when it comes to love. They got married in 1970 and truly love each other. I think woman today think that love is a man with high cheekbones and a million bucks. But love isn’t about the superficial.
Being a Venus in Scorpio, I get sick of people who think someone’s heart is something you can just play with.
My dad cheated on my mother and left her, for my stepmom who he has been married to now for 25 years. I found out almost immediately (age 7-8) and it was devastating while I was growing up. I still feel that it was a devastating event, but somehow softened for me now by the fact that it seems my dad was meant to be with my stepmom. I do think I am conditioned to think it’s common and kind of a sad side effect of people’s inability to be honest with themselves. Venus in Virgo (square Neptune in Sag), nauseated but somehow able to forgive wandering.
My father. (Both of them. I have a Father that raised me and a Biological Father)
Cheated on my Mom, I knew about my Mom being cheated on when I was 11. My half brother and I are only a week apart. (she was with a Scorpio then married a Gemini)
Venus in Sag. Conjunct Neptune in Sag. 2nd house opposing My Moon.
I’ve been told that neither of my parents cheated and they are still happily married. But I’ve always suspected my father of cheating on my mom, if not technically then emotionally. He was an alcoholic and would be gone almost every night of the week “out drinking with the guys” and end up home in the wee hours of the morning.
I definitely have trust issues with men, and it’s hard to get me to commit, but if I do, I am completely loyal. I have a mars in virgo and I also think it’s unclean to cheat. Think of all the stds that are out there!
Venus in Libra 8th house with Mars & Uranus aspects.
as far as i know they’ve been faithful.
…but there’s a reason why i don’t trust myself to treat a decent guy properly. there’s all kinds of ways to hurt your spouse. while remaining faithful.
venus is aries, playing with pluto and saturn.
I don’t know if either of them cheated– but if they did, and I knew it, I probably wouldn’t talk about it.
However, my mother was involved with a married man though after my parents divorced. Now that’s a long, sad, and sordid tale. I have sympathy for the “other woman” I guess, because I was (am) very attached to my mother.
I have a 12th house venus, the placement for “secret love affairs”
My mom & dad both cheated on each other & were divorced by the time I was 3. My mom then had an “open relation” with her next husband…but even after THAT stopped, she subsequently cheated on him (I blame her Moon in Gemini)…
Anyway, my Venus is in Taurus & I’m “generally” monogamous. Meaning, I do not sleep with other men, but I do like to flirt…a lot! I’ve noticed when I’m “very much in love” I do not flirt at all (and have cut men from my life when they don’t accept that). But, when things are waning (meaning, he’s done something to piss me off BIG TIME), then the flirting starts up again. Of course, these moments might coincide with the times when my Venus has floated over to Gemini 😉
My biological father was cheating on his wife with my biological mother, resulting in me and my subsequent adoption.
My grandmother told me that my dad cheated on my mom, and that we had to leave town when I was a kid to get away from the other woman.
My stepfather cheated on my mom when I was about 19, resulting in their divorce. She forgave him and they got remarried and are still married.
Suffice it to say, I have trust issues. Venus in Capricorn.
First comment got eaten.
I came back to say: I don’t cheat and I can’t fathom why anyone does. I can sustain multiple relationships at a time as long as everyone is aware that there’s no expectation of monogamy and everyone is playing by the same rules, but as soon as monogmay is declared, that’s it.
Of course, I can honestly say that there’s only been one man I wanted monogamy with.
I have major abandonment and trust issues. I cannot count the times I’ve been … shunned is a good word.
My dad cheated on my mom. He told her so one day right after we came back from a trip in the States (we lived in Hong Kong). It was late night and I overheard my mom screaming hysterically to my dad. I was 12. I heard everything and I pretended I knew nothing. I went on acting “normal” to protect my younger brother. My dad left for another business trip to China and my mom took off back to the States again to be with her closest sister whom lived in San Diego at the time. I think she was gone for a month. It was a very traumatic experience and I HATED my father for it and at the same time I felt sorry for him because I knew he cheated on my mom because she’s kind of cold emotionally and not very affectionate and hard to please. My great grandfather whom lived with us since i was born looked after us for I dont know how long until one day, my parents announced that my brother and i will be moving and going to school in San Diego and to live with my aunt (my mom’s sister).
Cheating, abandonment and trust issues have been huge in my life. I want to believe in commitment, I want it so much. I love to love and I yearn to believe in it (i have eight planets in venus signs with S/M/A Taurus and Libra)
How do I feel now? I want to love without fear and it’s a consistent effort because I am subconsciously looking for an out when I feel like i am loved. It’s very sad. I can’t fight the feeling that I’ll be left behind and therefore I want to leave before anyone can leave me.
I trust but I don’t believe… does that make sense?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. It scares me because things are really good,he treats me wonderfully and is the boyfriend I’ve always wanted. But in the back of my head, I can’t stop thinking, “now what? he’s gonna leave me? i better fuck this up now, so at least I can apologize later…”
I have Venus in Gemini. I hate people who cheat but I have cheated before. My mind has the tendency to wander other possibilities because like i said, I’m always looking for an out.
But I am not doing that anymore and I am going to stay loyal because I really love my boyfriend. I am willing to keep telling myself that love is greater than fear. And that I cannot let fear be my excuse to do things to hurt someone love out of fear of possible abandonment.
My Saturn return is due. I am feeling the lessons of Saturn in Libra approaching and I am ready for it.
I am going to do the right thing and in the end, I want to love like it doesn’t hurt as if it’s my second nature….and that I am worthy of love and not necessary to look for an out as my only shelter.
Did one (or both) or your parents cheat?
yes, my dad. found out they were divorcing when I was 8.
When did you find out? How old?
Was older 11 or 12 maybe? when I found out dad had cheated on mom,
How did you feel?
shellshocked. dead.
How do you feel now?
angry. horrified. sad.
How did your parents fidelity (or lack of it) affect you as an adult.
It made me very determined to stay faithful to my husband. Both parties in a marriage need to make a serious effort or it will never work.
And the astrology – Where is your Venus?
12t house Cancer opposing Mars in Capricorn. My parents infidelity made me even more determined to honour my wedding vows. It bounced off the opposition of the two to the other end of the possible spectrum.
My parents didn’t cheat on each other (as far as I know, but I am pretty sure). I’m very grateful. I don’t agree with the notion cheating is more prevalent these days. I’d say the only thing that has happened is the fact it’s more easily discussed. It’s not as secret at it has been.
my dad tried to force himself on my aunt when my mother was pregnant with me. I found out in my 40’s. I assume he had others since he tried me as well. My sister married two non-stop cheaters. ALthough I have always been faithful i know of 3 that cheated on me in relationships where we were living together. I think the last woman was just very needy and when i had a business trip she had to find someone. Pathetic really.
sun,venus,mars in virgo conjunct pluto in the 7th.
Nope, I don’t think so. My mom has pisces and doesn’t get out enough to cheat. My dad…well he’s *extremely* concerned about duty.
Yet I still have committment issues. Go figure.
Yes, my mother was a beautiful, “bigger than life” kind of woman and required alot of attention and my father was an adventurous explorer who could make her happy for many years up until there finally arose a crisis in their marriage and he began to drink and she sought love through one of our family friends. I was 17 yrs. old at the time and remember noticing something in her behavior and saw an embrace between these two and confronted my mother about it. She apologized to me and explained that she understood it was wrong but she was very lonely and desperately needed company or attention from somebody. My father was gone most of the time at this point and I understood and could see how this could happen and felt bad for both of my parents. The affair soon escalated to a point that my father moved my mother to the States to live to separate her from this other man, but never did anything himself to try to fix the problem….I guess he thought that was fixing it…not a good move on his part. That was the only time I was aware of her having a love affair….they eventually divorced but got back together after several years and then both died within a year of each other. She never had another boyfriend, even during their separation period.
This same pattern has repeated itself in my own personal life. When my husband and I had been married for 18 years….he was a workaholic and never home and I was at a crisis point in my life and needed someone to lean on…..I became friends with a man who was doing some work on our house. He would talk to me about anything and thought I was funny, smart….all the usual things I had not heard in a fearfully long time. There was a chemistry between us and it developed to the point that I went to my husband and told him I was beginning to have feelings for this man and he and I needed to go to counseling or things would go sour really fast because attraction is like a drug and once you have a taste of it…..that one is hard to just ignore especially if you are empty. A plant needs watering or it will die….
My parents had just passed away and I was still grieving, but alone and this man gave me all the time to talk about my feelings and share my stories with him of my parents….
My husband told me that I was just grieving for my parents and I was confusing my emotions and that perhaps I should just start playing tennis more or get a full time job to occupy my time because he did not have the time to “babysit” me through this…”did I want him to file for bankruptcy and let everything go to pieces at his job because I could not handle my grieving?”…these are actual words….
My husband never for a moment took me seriously about our home repair guy….he should have….he eventually kissed me and I again went to my husband and told him that we had kissed and I was sure now my husband would take this seriously, but he still didn’t and asked me to stop this foolishness and get a grip.
We separated….the repair guy was a catalyst to the increasing problem I was having in my own home. I know this to be true of my parents situation also. I am not in any way advocating for cheating or excusing it….just trying to convey in words how a situation can arise. I certainly did not want to repeat my parents history, hence the reason why I kept going to my husband and telling him what I was feeling, but was ignored. I had actually been going to therapy for a while, but alone one cannot accomplish something that takes two to fix.
I cannot pass judgement on alot of things because I know through my own experiences that each case is different and until you have walked in the other’s shoes, you don’t know… people are just doing the best they know how to do and if you are truthful and remain true to yourself and ask for forgiveness and are able to forgive …..life can move on….
My husband and I have been back together and both more mature and constantly learning….
Oops…I am venus in pisces…7th house….
(((dena)))
I think I’m in the minority here: my mum cheated on my dad when I was 27. It was her first and only affair. She used my sister as a confidante…my sister told another sister in a rage one day, against my mum…eventually all daughters found out, and my dad hadn’t a clue. one of my siblings blackmailed my mum into telling my dad…so she did. my dad forgave my mum…
about the cheating, like jessica i feel “nauseated but somehow able to forgive”
i felt that my mum’s sexuality and behaviour was her own, and their marriage was none of my business. my sisters (all older than me and i was late 20s) were awful to my mum and when i refused to have a part in any of it, i was ostracized.
one of my sisters didn’t talk to me for almost 2 years, and another about 18 months.
i was more devastated by my siblings’ behaviour towards my mum and i than the actual cheating.
Venus in Aries, part of a grand trine with Neptune and Saturn, and a T-square with moon and pluto.
*Did one (or both) or your parents cheat?
One of my parents cheated. My father. He has been cheating on my Mom for as long as I can remember.
When did you find out? How old?
This is the painful part. I don’t know. I was six years old and had strong strong suspicions of my father cheating. He was never home until 2 AM. And even then, he’d be drunk. My mother seemed lonely all the time and was working so hard to make ends meet. And even when we do spend time with my father on Sundays, it just seems forced. He didn’t care about us in any way, shape or form.
I kept this nagging suspicion for a long time until I saw my mother sitting on the floor of her bedroom one day, 10 years later. And it bothered me so I asked, “You just found out dad cheated on your, didn’t you?” And she nodded. Of course she was surprised about this. And so the battle to stay together as a family began. I’ve been angry at my dad since I was 6 years old – so I voted that my Mom divorce him. I wanted her suffering to end.
I kept this innate knowledge that my dad cheated on my mom until recently. I am 29 now. My Mom felt bad that a person like me had to keep it for so long. It was a heavy burden. I’m glad that is gone now.
*How did you feel?
Anger. Pain. Sadness. More anger, really. I had this heavy heavy burden as a child. I was protective of my mother. I would defend her to the death.
*How do you feel now?
I’m ok. Mom is happily remarried for over 10 years now. I still do not have a soft spot for my dad, but whatever. He’s still selfish and there’s not much I can do about it.
*How did your parents fidelity (or lack of it) affect you as an adult.
I always wondered why a beautiful, kindhearted, hardworking and intelligent woman like my mother was cheated on. I felt that it wasn’t enough. I felt that I have to go far and wide – all the way to perfection – so that a man will not cheat on me. I have severe abandonment issues. Severe to the point that it debilitates me in relationships. I suspect that men cheat – ALL THE TIME… no matter how wonderful they are, as people, I still think that hey… I’m not perfect… They’re always tailing some beautiful number over a smart, empathic, hardworking woman like me. They’re always going to seek perfection.
And so I work hard to be perfect – to the point where I change who I am – just to cater to what the man wants. I did not want someone to leave me.
I supposedly fare better as a single girl as I don’t have to worry about being “abandoned.” but there is a foil to this… One reason why I am so independent is that I trained myself to think that men will be unreliable. Men will leave you. And it saddens me.
Now I’m with a great guy and it’s hard to turn this mentality around. I’m working hard on this, really… And I hope I don’t ruin the relationship because this has been a difficult life for me.
*And the astrology – Where is your Venus?
Venus in Taurus, 2nd house. Squaring Mars and opposing Uranus. Instability is in my chart.
But I also have Venus trining Saturn and sextiling my Moon. Stability.
7th house Pluto in Libra – squaring my Moon.
My mom, after years of being ignored because my dad had gone back to school. It was the beginning of the end. I met the guy she was with and the impression I got was of a predator. He knew she was vulnerable and was taking advantage of her. I don’t know if sex was involved but later I got the impression that she wanted a friendship and attention and got more than she bargained for. It was the beginning of the end of my parents marriage. I was 13, I think when it happened. Old enough to see through the guy and to see my mom’s pain.
I don’t think that the cheating has had much, if any, impact on my dating/adult life. I do, however, think that their divorce had huge and devastating effects on me. They fought through me throughout a very long and nasty divorce. I got to see the bad side of a relationship without being one of the “parties” to the relationship. It took me a long time to date after that. I thought every relationship would end in such a mess. It didn’t, instead it ended in a guy who cheated on me, more than once. That taught me that I would never want to be the “other woman” because I knew what it felt like when your partner cheated. A feeling I’d never pass on, period. Venus in Pisces opposite pluto, moon, square mars/saturn. yes, those beautiful t-squares… aren’t they a wonder 😉
dena! What a life! (and I’m sure you know how I mean this.) ::eyes wide::
I’m also one not to judge. Of course there are people who are just plain immoral a**h***s, but I believe most people go into marriage fully ready to stay true to their vows. Things change, people change. Sometimes they work it out, sometimes they don’t. I also would not have said this in my younger days (I’m in my mid-50’s now) but I’ve seen a lot, and felt things myself. People are human!!
My dad cheated on my mom, just once, I believe… I think it was a short fling and they worked it out, living quite happily until he passed away. I was about 12. I don’t think it changed how I view marriage and relationships — seeing and experiencing things in my adult life has, though. Venus in Libra.
I can’t find one couple in my whole extended family that *hasn’t* cheated. Starting with my grandma and her ex-husband, who raped her on a regular basis… All her kids got a head start on dysfunctional relationships. It’s truly disgusting to think about the numerous infidelities. So– I’ve had to try a little harder to walk in a straight line so to speak. It’s hard for me to recognize loyalty as a tangible thing. Getting there though.
My parents weren’t married to each other. My mom says she had no clue that my dad was married. She was newly divorced and probably not that clear about anything and I understand her p.o.v. more than my dad’s. He split a few months after I came along, never heard anything from him since and I am 29 years old now. Up until I was 9 years old I (kind of) believed that my dad (also married and also shagging my mom) was a dear friend of my mom’s who came around every once in a while. She told me the truth (kind of) about my dad’s real identity while sitting in the drive-thru at MacDonalds… Since then she has changed the story up a bit more, revealing that my dad could be another guy who she shagged whilst high as a kite on dope.
I was 9 and not real well-equipped to process the new information I’d been given and so I just held all of the inconsistencies and half truths inside, I still do but I am less bothered by it all now. It was her life, not mine. My story is a lot less interesting and I am better able to distinguish myself from my mother now than I was then. I just wish she’d waited until I was older to tell me all that stuff because I do wonder from time to time about some of the choices that I made and how they were influenced by her story.
(((alphaxys))) naming your battle is half the battle, me thinks
my mum cheated on my dad for the only time when I was 27.
the fallout was huge. i was ostracized for refusing to get involved. one of my siblings blackmailed my mother into telling dad. i stepped out of the arena. that sibling didn’t talk to me for 2 years, and another for about 18 months…after bcc’ing me horrible letters to my mum, with my mum now knowing she was doing so.
my family uses me as their therapist. i was pretty upset about it but it came on the heels of the deaths of my aunt and uncle and my partner at the time almost dying in an accident so it was just another thing in the pile of shit my life was at that time.
i have never felt my parents’ marriage was none of my business. my mum told my dad i refused to get involved and it strengthened my relationship with both of them. my dad is a Libra with moon in Taurus and never would leave my mum, no matter how insane she was. he’s a man of his word. My heart still hurts thinking about how sad it made him.
about how i feel about cheating…i think it is human. who knows why people do what they do.
sorry, i meant my mum didn’t know what my sister was doing (bcc’ing me). i told my sister i thought her behaviour was cruel and that was why she stopped speaking to me.
UGH and i meant to say that i never felt that my parents’ marriage was my business.
i didn’t want to be involved in any shape or form but they all just couldn’t help themselves.
it rarely goes well when i assert myself within my family unit.
I’m the product of cheating. My mom had been married for almost 20 years when she met my dad. She always says she feels bad about the way she treated her first husband but that she was going a crises. They got divorced and she and my dad got married when I was three. They are still married 25 years later.
The cheating didn’t affect me the way I know it affected my sisters because…well, I’m thankful it happened because here I am.
[3rd house Scorpio Venus conj. Uranus, square Mars.]
Kashmiri…my sisters both have this very same issue with me…I am the oldest so don’t know if they being younger made it a bigger issue for them (not that it wasn’t for me) but for some reason they hold it against me now to this day. And I could see how hurt my dad was and that was hard to watch….but, they were the adults…we were the kids….its interesting how siblings experience completely different things under the same circumstances…
interesting stuff. My Gemini mother never wanted to marry my Scorpio dad as she had met someone else travelling, but could not tell him. They were married 25 years and fought constantly. He was always jealous of her and yet, when he started doing well in his work he started having flings which he only recently told me in passing – 40 years old now.
When they finally got divorced she mourned for years and he remarried within the year….much younger woman, foreign, model….
Point is, my father on some level being the Scorpio, must have known always that my mother never loved him and so became the aggressor. She, on the other hand became the poor victim of her untruths.
My Venus is in Pisces in the 7th.
I have relationships, but have never married and don’t see myself doing so. I have a lot of Scorpio and tend to mistrust women. I do not have a good relationship with my mother – Scorpio moon conjunct Mars. I have historically had a terrible relationship with my dad, but now we get each other like no one else.
My mother told me she never loved my dad when I was about 9 – I told her to get a divorce. She waited until my schooling was complete.
When my dad recently revealed his cheats, I felt really weird, not angry, more just disappointed – like I wanted him to be the good one and her the bad. When I was pregnant with my second child my partner cheated on me and when i was told I experienced violent anger. I cursed this woman from my depths which I shall never ever do again. Her fiance was killed in a car accident a few months later.
my violent emotions…
Does it count as cheating when everybody knows what’s going on. My Mom was my Dad’s first relationship resulting in his first born son, he proceeded to have another 2 daughters with another woman while with my mother… and she would sometimes take care of them. My parents had another son afterward. After him my dad had yet another daughter with another woman. 5 years later I was born to my parents. Their tumultuous relationship spanned about 30 something years filled with arguments & violence. They finally cut ties when I was around 12. My Dad has always had a very obsessive quality to him… An Aquarius with a lot of Cancer. My mother also an Aquarius with an Aries moon is too independent & bold to be possessed.
I myself have Venus conjunct Uranus in the 12th house Squaring my Pisces Moon in the 3rd. I don’t believe in cheating, but my dad’s craziness resulted in my 3 sisters that I love very much. I tend to keep my relationships to myself because I think I believe that when others get involved there tends to be meddling and projection of what kind of relationship I should have.
I don’t think that my parents ever cheated on one another. They seemed faithful, but only attached to one another through circumstance (finances, children). There was very little love/affection displays for one another.
I feel like I never knew what I wanted in a relationship, had plenty of trouble with my own issues as a cheater in the past, and still struggle with “the grass is always greener” syndrome (though I’m more comfortable trying to work things out now rather than running away).
11th house Pisces Venus conj Sun.
Wow, my heart goes out to everyone who has written about their pain here. I don’t think about this (which may be my coping mechanism), but my biological father cheated on my mother when she was pregnant with me. My mom filed for divorce the day after I was born and my biological father married the woman he cheated with. They subsequently had three daughters. I’ve never met him or my half-sisters. At times I see women who resemble me and I wonder… I have venus in aries conjunct saturn. My venus is also part of a yod with pluto. My primary goal in life has been to be able to take care of myself without needing anyone’s help. Talk about lack-of-trust issues. I went through my 30’s without being in a relationship. That’s just the way it is. I’ve been in a relationship now for a year, but I wonder every day if I should stay or go. I had a reading with Elsa earlier this year, and she told me she thought I was a monk… which made me laugh. Things I just take for granted that I see are rooted in a painful beginning. I know I have a lot of work to do.
Did one (or both) or your parents cheat?
-I honestly believe they didn’t, although their marriage never seemed very happy all through my childhood and I still wouldn’t say they care for each other in a way I really understand, because it still doesn’t look much like caring to me and instead more like competition. I would say that I didn’t trust their relationship and their ability to take care of me to a great extent, even though I had no sense they were cheating on each other.
How did your parents fidelity (or lack of it) affect you as an adult.
-their “fidelity” per se I suppose seemed like a good model, but their relationship in general didn’t seem one. I have cheated to the extent that I left one husband for someone I subsequently married. He then cheated on me, and denied it while saying he wanted a divorce until I gave up fighting for the house and actually moved out and started a relationship with someone else. Then he wanted us to get back together, of course, but I had taken 2 years to accept he was not going to leave this other woman (they had started a business together and have since married, in fact) and knew that wasn’t going to change. And I didn’t have any interest in playing that game.
And the astrology – Where is your Venus?
First house, Cap., widely conjunct Saturn and Sun, square my 4th house Aries Moon and trine 9th house Pluto (Virgo).
My mom was just over, after telling me that she asked my father for a divorce yesterday, she tells me today that he had in fact cheated on her in Korea in their second year of marriage. All of the sudden, the past 28 years make so much sense. I’m shocked, but not. But definetly hurting like hell.
wow…it is so intresting how our parents affect us!
My mom cheated..but I understand her..my parents never kissed.!!The hard part was the fact that she would not admit it to my dad so from the age of 6-7 until I was 16 ..home was this place of either bad tention..or violent eruptions where I had to try keeping him from killing her..it was bad..they finally separated when I was 16..I forced my mom to leave him…selfish reasons actually..4 months later he died..and we got a call from this lady…guesss who was the hypocrite!!..So I doubt monogamy..cheating is selfish..stay with someone who wants the same as you..and if your viewpoint changes…let them know..never get so attached or codepentand to someone..that you can not handle them leaving you…my grandparents where cheaters too..maybe its in my blood…but I hope I never cheat on someone..best thing I have learned of my parents..have a safety net…have your own appartment..save money.. belive the worst, hope for the best..