Old Posts Stir Old Feelings

I’ve spent more than a week cleaning up and / or cleaning out the archives. More than two thousand pictures are linked to other sites. I have to either change out the pictures or delete the content at this point. The only way to so this is one post at a time. I’d call it a nightmare but in the scheme of things, it’s more like just something I need to do.

It’s been emotionally upsetting for me. You wouldn’t think something so mundane would stir feelings. But in this case, most of the old content on this site is quite personal. It was very interesting to the audience here, at the time. Things have changes over the course of the last seventeen years. That’s how long I’ve been blogging.

I have about seven hundred more posts to sort through. Assuming I can keep up the current pace, I should be done in another week or ten days.

This is tied to this post in a way: The Grace To Accept Your Own Mortality. If this is to ever be done, it should be done by me.

On other note in regards to site admin; if you try to log in and your account seems “gone”, it probably is. For people who don’t visit, I did suffer a profound attach some months ago. I lost a lot of content and some user accounts as well. That’s another thing I’m doing right now. Cleaning up post the cyber tornado that ran through here.

Astrologically, I’d give this to all the Capricorn planets transiting my 12th house. It’s hidden work.

To the woman who just sent another nasty remark, I’m embarrassed for you.  You have enjoyed my newsletter since 2010 – that’s EIGHT YEARS. You’ve never spent a dime on this site; nor left a kind word or even a shred of encouragement of any kind.

Now you don’t like me any more and you want everyone to know it?

::shakes head::

Here’s your announcement, hon. My voice carries further than yours.



Old Posts Stir Old Feelings — 53 Comments

  1. “To the woman who just sent another nasty remark, I’m embarrassed for you. You have enjoyed my newsletter since 2010 – that’s EIGHT YEARS. You’ve never spent a dime on this site; nor left a kind word or even a shred of encouragement of any kind.

    Now you don’t like me any more and you want everyone to know it?

    ::shakes head::

    Here’s your announcement, hon. My voice carries further than yours.”

    Darn. I hope people can realize that you’re a person who has a life behind the scenes. And who has stress and burdens in her life too. I hope people who are hateful towards you can realize their own flaws too. Not just everybody else’s. And that you probably do have off days, and that you shouldn’t be punished for it, forever.

  2. I can sure relate to how hard it is to get rid of old pictures and other memorabilia. Even if you never look at them again its just so emotional to get rid of them because then they’re gone forever. Its sad, but has to be done.

    I’ve been doing this with everything in my life for awhile now. Letting go of things never gets any easier.

    Don’t pay any attention to that nasty woman. Everyone loves you here, Elsa. Your site is excellent and the community you’ve cultivated is very warm and welcoming. If she doesn’t like you, she doesn’t have to come here and should just go away.

  3. I’ve been coming here for awhile, over ten years. You used to be incredibly more personal than you are now. Seeing your old posts and my occasional comments from like 2004, make me think about how little I have changed. The content !may have shifted here but I will say I appreciate the consistent independence of your blog. No ads, no extreme updates that “improve” but ultimately diminish user privacy. Thank you so much.

    • You’re welcome. I am never going to embed things or track or sell people. At heart I am in service and will always work for tips or for hire.

      It’s tough going through the old stuff. The content changed when the people changed. It’s going to change again too. It’s changing now. And as part of that, I’ve got to chop off some body parts, or at least that’s how it feels.

      But my heart is here now and in it. The only problem with that is that I can be hurt. And that’s why I mention the woman. She’s a consumer for nearly a decade and never once a kind word. But stomp my guts out? No problem!

      You might remember, Scott, writing, “For whom should I display my soul…”

      There’s too many people like that woman, over the years. I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want to know them and I certainly don’t want to display my soul for them.

      So I don’t. Life has changed. People have changed. Most of them are angry, just waiting to rip someone a new ass. Like animals, really. Bad animals, that is.

      Why tell jokes when no one laughs? Or true stories when people don’t believe you?

      I’ve seen this happen so profoundly. Not just on my blog but my personal life. People are just invested up their neck in a lie or a collection of them.

      I was talking to my hair stylist this week. Major Scorpio. “What do they say?” She asked.

      “They don’t believe me,” I said.

      “They’re stupid.”

      She’s right. So there is that too. It’s like people can only hear a voice that is familiar; like the Borg talking. Tell them something new means you can’t be trusted.

      I am taking to my newsletter and next, this blog. But I have to get the archives cleaned up first. 720 or so to go.

  4. Another thing I’m doing is fixing tags. Tags have evolved over the years. I expect posts that have been lost to start coming up in related posts.

    Google and voice search is also killing creative content.

    “Moon in Aries” gives you a generic but and it’s not that easy to go deeper. Everything us superficial now… and designed to manipulate.

    It so boring!!!

    It. Is. So. Boring.

    I have Venus in Leo. If there is no heart in a thing, it’s a dead thing.

    I don’t think alexa has a heart by any stretch of the imagination.

  5. I have to say you are steadfast. You’re the only person I have been reading from the early days of the Internet. THE ONLY ONE. I keep coming back. Your steadfastness blows me away. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do. It has had a significant impact on the development of my life, and on my understanding of it.

  6. I’ve been following your blog for just about 8 years! The same number as this nasty woman has been insulting you. And interestingly, today I saw that another blog I follow – a blog devoted to writers learning the art of writing – is celebrating their 12th year as a blog. Both Elsa Elsa and the writer blog are what I wake up and look to for motivation, inspiration, and education to start my day or week positively and for the better.

    And I am better than I was eight years ago. Both your blog and the writer blog have encouraged me to Dig Deeper (my favorite phrase of late) and in doing so I’ve been cracking my own nut and finding under the sometimes bruised, sometimes hard, sometimes brittle shell is a person who can harness what she has to be better.

    You do that, Elsa.

  7. This is so slow. 698.
    I made fast progress earlier because I deleted a bunch of posts. But it’s really something…

    I am working with posts written with Uranus in Pisces. That’s a distant memory now.

  8. Elsa….love your work. You don’t need negative Nancies on your blog. Why don’t you just block the nasty lady? I wish you all the best and will continue to not only read the content on your blog, but also support you by purchasing your product(s). You are amazing!

  9. Thank you for all you do Elsa. I have been coming to this site for awhile after being notified of its existence by John Townley. I can only say he is correct when stating your site is worthy. I do enjoy your thought provoking posts. I’ve even gotten crap off my chest in comments on here, made notes to add to my personal Astrology Dictionary I keep, learnt a heap of priceless coping mechanisms, done a workshop – what else can I say? You do provide a bloody good service.
    PS: I do not envy you going through the archives but if it means we get to read some more thought provoking posts, then thank you once again! 0:)
    PPS: To that nasty piece of work – go get a life worth living! I’ve been to hell & back but never do I put the responsibility for that where it does not belong. Please own your own life.

  10. Actually a gal came along some years ago; stating that everything a person needed to know to have a great life had been addressed on my blog. She wanted to put a book together…split profit with me? She has skills.

    I agreed to this and she did the work. To be honest, she might have been a bit manic; I don’t know. But she did work on this and she put something together that was impressive and she did it FAST.

    A problem arose when she sent me the file, and wanted to double the percentage of her commission. Whaaat?

    That made me very nervous and I balked.

    I don’t why she did that. She put the thing together in just a couple weeks as I recall. I have it, but never did anything with it because it does not seem fair; even though it’s my writing.

    It just made no sense,so I figured something was not right in the milk. The whole thing started in an instant and ended the same way. No big fight or anything. She just sent me the file with her new payment schedule. I would not accept it and it ended after that one email.

    I do hope you’re right. That I won’t have to do this again. This is very serious:


    Getty images is allowing people to embed images on their sits now…full of tracking, of course. And you should read their TOS. They can do anything they want at anytime, including demand you remove their pics at at any time for any reason, blah, blah.

    Er…no thanks! That lesson’s been learned. 🙂

        • sudie, it’s a sad situation with my sister. If you search the site, you will find her writing all over. She used to write here. It was great at first, but she is liar and as time went by, she started to lie and the lies got bigger. She’s impaired (pain drugs) and can’t see the ludicrousness of what she was saying. It’s sad and everything (for me) became horrifying.

          It started with her claim of being born missing one (or two, depending on where you read) set of ribs. (She’s skinny).
          Then she claimed to have two sets of wisdom teeth. No.
          Several times she claimed she had “contracts with MGM”…um, such things did not exist in her era; also she was never an actress nor….well, you get the idea.

          The kicker came when out mother died. She claimed she had her buried at the foot of Mary, here:


          That’s on the grounds of Sam Xavier Del Bac Mission, which was built in the 1700’s.


          Now I am sorry, but no one get their loved one buried at this mission (since the 1800’s); and certainly not a woman who has not been to a Catholic church in 40 years.

          Now to me, these were obvious, embarrassing lies. And there were a lot more off them…many, MANY! So I was in a mess. “What do I do?” I asked, satori. No good answer.

          As the lies got more outrageous…well we did not have a French seamstress making our clothes when we grew up. I mean, come on! I have nothing but pictures of us wearing rags. So eventually I had to stop her from writing. Because we’re sisters and her lies were so plentiful and over the top, they begin to reflect on me and my credibility which is my stock in trade for the most part. She was pissed off and set out to destroy me…not the first time she’s done this.

          No on the book, you can see our conversations about this; from the 1990’s. I wrote about them long before she came back into my life. I had not talked to her for eight years at that time; another fact I stated many times. Anyway, she said that I would write a book (this was in the early 90’s) and she would get “glory” from it. She’s my big sister. I just listened, enthralled. But when the book was written…well, I guess she did not like how she was portrayed…or that she is barely in it. It’s my book; not about her.

          So eventually she left that poor review but in truth…I grew up with my sister but once I left home, I saw her a couple times when I was about 18 years old…and then nothing until I was about 27 or so. That’s about the book ends. So how would she know, hmm? So she’s got no idea of anything.

          One person slaves away, in plain site, writes a 600 page book, which is nothing in the scheme of everything else I’ve written. I am clearly honest. How else could I pull up posts from ten and more years past, and have them be as true as if I wrote them today? Integrity, maybe. Consistency?

          The other person comes along and writes a sentence or two, claiming I’m a liar? Okay.

          My sister has taken people in, all her life. If you’re one of them, I am sorry. I am particularly sorry if she snared you on MY platform.

          But this..

          That’s my sister. As you can see, she is wearing clothes from Goodwill in the AZ desert. Far, far from being dressed by a French maid, don’t you think?
          This is the last I am going to say about this. It’s sad to me. Like a lost cause. 🙁

  11. Thanks, everyone!

    There is another oddity. This is what the site used to look like:

    You can see each post was split into two fields…the first was an “excerpt” field. In the beginning I posted advice questions there and the answer below. Later, I jotted things like, “Astrology in real life…”

    Or, “Commenting on the comments”.

    That field is no longer view-able so this causes problems.

    We also used to have polls. These were crushed in the redesign(s).

    You just have to keep up. Cell phones were not that widely used, 13 years ago. You could have these huge images on your site. All those pics have to be optimized…assuming you want someone to ever see them.

    There are plugins to do this in bulk. I’ve used them but they only go so far and they give you new sets of problems too.

    I’m a 679. 🙂

    • i enjoyed the cock-blocking topics! but i understand about this very very deeply with women since i was a teenager, it was a harsh reality. You can only trust very very few into your circle, that’s for sure.

      i’m sorry to hear about your sister, Elsa 🙁

    • No. That is Henry’s house being built. But ours was also adobe.

      Henry built my family a house. Then he built an apartment onto it, which he lived in while he built his house.

      Of course we all helped. We helped makes the adobes…and really, everything else.

      Those houses start with one of these:

      We would get sand from the washes /arroyos (free). Shovel it into the truck.

      Then you shovel it out of the truck.

      Then you pick it from the pile, one shovelful at a time, and throw it against the screen to the rocks or large pebbles are strained out.

      The fine sand is mixed with dirt and water to make an adobe…five at a time. That’s one wheelbarrow worth.


      Those kids helping were from the neighborhood where, Henry, lived, before we and then he moved to the desert.

      Basically, if you were around, Henry, you’d pitch in because he just drew people to him…with his goodness. 🙂

          • One year. AZ has monsoon season – heavy rains. You pour the foundation but the adobe has to be done in 9 months time, so you have the roof on before the rains come. A storm came early when building our house. A a monsoon came through and wiped out 70% of a house that was 90% done (adobe portion). Nothing to do but make more adobes and fix it.

            Henry’s house was less of a problem. It was smaller, but also we were all there to help all the time.

            Henry built our house alone through the week – we lived in town. Work and school. So we just went out on the weekends to help.

            As for whose idea…we started having trouble in town (I put this in my book). Henry owned the land and so built my parents a free house. Well..they had to pay $50 a month to him once a kid left the house which was years later.

            Anyway, we wound up out there. Our house in town was real tiny in comparison. I guess you might say, my father wanted to move and Henry helped him do it.

  12. This is a great picture.
    We are making rosaries! Seriously.

    We are out at the site where we’re building our house. I am the one kneeling. Venus in Leo, see? If there is a picture being taken, I want to be in it LOL.

    The woman is our grandmother on my mother’s side. Henry’s ex-wife!

    Here she is when she was young. It’s pretty shocking. But you can see. Henry built her an adobe house.


    And that is my mother with her, of course.

  13. I’ve got 511 to go. I’ve got about 75% done.

    I wonder if you are noticing anything on the site. Like different posts popping up in the “related posts” thing. Because I’m pretty sure this will mix things up a bit.


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