I have a friend who is about twelve years older than me. We are not that close but I am always reaching out because I want to be good friends with her. She does not reply most of the time. I’m that annoying young girl that bugs her about random things & invites her to hike with me weekly.
I know she is going through a hard time right now. Verge of divorce, possibly depression. I want to help her and talk to her but she won’t open up at all to me. I feel like she hates me but I cannot stop thinking about reaching out to her. She’s a Scorpio which could probably explain everything. I just feel this insane need to help her. This has been for almost a year & I’ve made no progress. I have looked at her chart and some of the things she’s going through is explained in her transits, etc.
I don’t even really know what I’m asking you to do but maybe see if this obsession with me wanting to help her or be her friend can be explained from your point of view.
Obsessed in America
Hi Obsessed. You want my opinion; I think you’re badgering this woman is appalling. However, this was just my gut reaction. I put myself in this other woman’s situation and I just want to slap you. I’m sorry, but I’m explaining…
In reality, I am not this woman. When I remove myself from the equation, the fact that she responds at times, would lead me to suppose that she does not hate you. That does not mean you should double down on your phone calls! You should do what you’re doing – ask for help!
First thing – people are not property. This woman is not an object you can acquire.
Secondly, when you know a person is under stress, the last you should do is pressure them. Giving them space and leaving your door open is generally best. To be clear, I imagine myself on the verge of divorce and depression – there is no way in the world, I want to go hiking!
Third, if you truly care for this woman, you will put her needs in front of your own.
You see yourself as trying to help, but in reality, you’re showing yourself to be very high maintenance. This is not a putdown! Some don’t realize, people with lives and jobs and marriages and/or kids may not be able to be in touch once a week, never mind, get together with someone that frequently. If this were me, I’d be scared to death to go anywhere with you; afraid it would lead you to step up your demands.
Scorpio pulls their horns in when they’ve got problems. They clear out everything extraneous and work with what is essential. This is most likely what’s going on.
Looking at your chart; this seems to be a lesson in boundaries for you. Saturn is transiting your 7th house, due to conjunct your Moon in Capricorn. You think this woman needs you, but you are the one with the needs. She needs you not to burden her!
Please try to learn the lesson being presented. This song might help. It’s memorable. “How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away”
If you want to fix this, let the woman know that she can contact you for any reason at anytime. Then leave! Seriously! If she’s desirable as a friend, she’s certainly smart enough to receive your message and act on it when and if she pleases, without being reminded!
Last, you’ll fare better in sorting things in your life if you’ll look at your transits rather than theirs, for insight.
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