I’m in love with my best friend. We’ve been close for several years, and our friendship has always contained a strong element of attraction and flirtation. We talk daily, usually several times a day, have lunch or hang out at least once or twice a week, and he’s very much a solid figure in my life in terms of being someone to turn to when I need to talk, or need advice.
The problem is, of course, that he’s married and I’m not willing to disrespect that (neither of us has broached the subject, by the way). But I am having a problem being able to leave myself open to developing a relationship with someone else. With the exception of sex (since we don’t go there), this friendship comes very, very close to what I would want in a relationship.
I keep thinking, “If I could just clone him, and keep the single one!” But I recognize that this isn’t really an option. 😉 So I’m trying to figure out why I’m so stuck on him, and how to get unstuck so that I can actually go out there and find someone that can develop into a deeper relationship. One day I would actually like to marry and have kids, and right now that’s feeling like a distant dream.
Can you help me figure this out?
Yes I can. First I don’t think this Virgo guy is all that innocent. He (and his Scorpio Mars) have you engaged and if you think about it, you are completely disabled.
And you are responsible for this, of course. It is you who has decided to relinquish control of your life here. But I just want you to realize that a married man who engages you to this level without delivering the rest of the package is not that good a friend. I just don’t think he’s acting in your best interest, see. Do you?
And I have been in your situation and I’ll tell you exactly how to get out. You have to understand someone has stuck a fishhook in your mouth, down your throat and hooked you there. And there you are. And there you will stay until and unless you reach down your throat and dig that hook out. Because he’s not going to do it, is he? So this is my advice:
Open wide. Dig that thing out and once you have the hook in hand, throw that thing as far as you can. Yes. This means the guy goes. And I’m sorry but if you don’t take your life back, he’s going to waste it.