Neptune On The Midheaven: You Should Be A Dominatrix…

dominatrix ad jobSpeaking of Neptune on the Midheaven and being mistaken as things. This is a conversation I had with a tabloid reporter I knew once. (JonBenet Ramsey And The Tabloid Reporter).

Mars Mercury is in evidence here as well with the voice angle and of course, my 8th house.

“You missed your calling,” he said. “You should be a dominatrix.”

“What?” I was single, the mother of a 2 year old.

“Yeah! Are you kidding, Elsa? You could have it made. There are all kinds of men that would love to be bossed around by you. I am telling you that you have the voice for this.”

“Er… I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or what.”

“Of course it’s a compliment. Look. It’s not like you have to touch these guys. They’ll just come to your house and when they do, you tell them to get the hell out. Tell them to go to the store and go shopping for you and your daughter. What the hell are you doing here, you piece of…”

I laughed, incredulous.

“Yeah, they would lovvvvvvvve you. You’d never have to buy groceries again. You could have anything you want and like I said it’s not like you have to touch them. In fact it’s better if you don’t. They come back with the groceries ask you to kiss them or something and you tell them to go to hell. Swear a little. Yell the way you normally do and they’ll skulk off, go home and masturbate, happy as clams.”

I roared. ‘You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Hell yes, I am serious. I know some women in LA who do this and they’re getting rich.”

“Okay, well I am not a whore or a dominatrix but it’s good to know I could be. I think. Actually I think I’d be too sickened by these guys,” I said. “I’d be disgusted.”

groceries“Yeah, I know, that’s the point. That’s exactly what they want. They want you to be disgusted and since you would be disgusted, you wouldn’t have to act at all. Most women have to learn to do this but you’re a natural. All you’d have to do is be yourself and your voice is perfect. I’m telling you, these bastards will buy your house for you. Pay my bills! Okay! Can we have sex now? Hell no!”

“I see your point but I am not going to do it,” I said. “I don’t care what I could have. The last thing I want is some sniveling, slobbering man coming around. I am not going to ruin my life. I want a real man not some jackass…”

“Yep, that’s it. That’s what you say to them and they’ll be lined up around the block, groceries in hand…”

“No!” I said forcefully.

He started laughing like hell and I laughed too because come on. This is funny.

Remember that movie, “The Accidental Tourist”? Elsa P. The Accidental Dominatrix. ::snorts::

~~
Okay, so let’s take stock. Neptune in Scorpio conjunct the midheaven and I have been mistaken for a whore, a whore, a whore and a whore. I am also a bad mother, a drunk and this entire blog – all 3500 posts are only here so I can trick you out of your money. I am also just a generic horrible person – did I miss anything?

You may also like


Comments

Neptune On The Midheaven: You Should Be A Dominatrix… — 12 Comments

  1. ROFL!!! Projections!!! You know who you truly are so F*** ’em and the horse they rode in on!!

    BTW?! That dominatrix thing would make me vomit too. That’s one of those places with all my Scorpio I just won’t go. If a relationship evens hints at the possibility, I run . . . very fast!!

  2. Elsa,

    I sent you an email a while back asking for a consultation. It turns out that I had an inaccurate birth time so my whole chart is different but a lot closer to my actual personality. I have Pisces on the Midheaven, which is like having Neptune on the Midheaven. I also have Pluto, Saturn, Vesta, & South Node in Scorpio in the 5th and I read somewhere that when people with Pluto in the 5th aren’t “dispersing their sexual energy via sex or other creative outlets” they attract unwelcome (sometimes violent) sexual advances. I can’t even begin to tell you the stories that I have with this, some are hilarious while others are downright creepy. I’ve also had a co-worker tell me that I should strip to pay my college tuition. I guess I guess I give out whore vibes?

    I don’t know much about astrology but I am a Psychology major and it seems like a classic case of projecting. I find that the more honest I am, the more people project their own insecurities onto me, even going so far as to calling me crazy when I call them out on this behavior. I don’t know you personally but from the half hour I spent on the phone with you and from the lurking that I have done on this blog (don’t know why I finally decided to write something) you seem to be a very honest person.

    I just thought of the movie Eyes Wide Shut and that scene where they are all wearing those masks. Even though, Tom Cruise was also wearing a mask, he was an outsider and when they found him out, they made him take off the mask. I don’t know where I was going with that but if you’re the one person in the crowd (which I suspect you are most of the time) without a mask on, you’re going to remind other people of the masks that they are wearing. So, they are going to do whatever they can to put a mask on you regardless of whether it fits or not, so that they can go back to ignoring the fact that they have a mask on.

  3. lololol! Your Neptune/MC tales are priceless. I have Neptune in Scorpio conjunct the IC (opposite the MC). I wonder how the result compares, if people misjudge me on the inside, my intentions/roots of my being? Hmm, not sure. I will have to explore this some more.

  4. Hmm… being a dominatrix would suit me just fine 🙂
    Not sure what, if anything, in my chart reveals that. Warrior Goddess Athena in the 7th? Nah…

  5. How funny, LOL!
    I once knew a woman who was a dominatrix. She was in her thirties, Spanish, very beautiful and rather majestic (had Leo rising). She met this man who was about 20 years her senior, he was an intellectual, a poet and playwriter. And this guy bought her groceries (LOL!), acted as chaffeur, did heavy work around her house, changed the light bulbs and so on. He would call her ‘Princess’ and she would order him about (but never rudely). She did have to give something in return though, because when he would leave after all the handyman work he would want to kiss her toes hahaha – and she would graciously consent!

  6. lol
    he’s right, they’d do that, but my goodness. so are you. yeccch. wouldn’t want to be paid to wear those kinds of projections. or not paid. i’d feel like those guys in ghostbusters after a strafing by slimer.

  7. Kashmiri, LOL!
    This woman was also a Taurus Sun, a practical person, and an Aquarius Moon, so she wasn’t exactly conventional.
    When, having been asked for my opinion, I voiced my uneasiness about the situation, she replied: “Well, I know it’s weird – but it works beautifully for us! He needs a woman on a pedestal to adore – and I need someone who will do a lot of heavy or annoying jobs for me!”
    :-))!!!

  8. hahaha!!! A year later SNORT & SNORKLE!!! Sorry, I have Neptune in Scorpio as well and this just cracks me up. Imagining the nightmare of being in an endless mobius loop w/some sniveling reject who can’t see the forest for the forest! Been there – had it happen. Like you Elsa, I have always preferred a real manly man myself.

  9. lmao!
    Honestly though, I would love to make money Dominating some filthy rich pig into submission. haha (Pluto in Scorpio 12th house square Mars in Capricorn 3rd house)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.