wyrdling writes around my decision to blow off reality:
“… I can’t say I hear everything, but you never really know what someone catches and what they don’t. Just because most people miss something doesn’t mean everyone does…”
“Do you want to play to other people’s holograms? Particularly because they’re never solid and keep shifting?”
wyrdling that’s a good point. I have not figured this out exactly, it’s so tricky but I do feel it would be wise for me to quit trying to jam my foot into a shoe I will never be able to actually wear. It leads to pain, pining, and a sense of hopelessness. I would go as far as to say it leads me to despair and if there is a way for me not to feel that, then it’s an option worth considering.
Now I understand that stating I am suffering while simultaneously producing copious amounts of work and grinning the way I do creates cognitive dissonance in people’s minds. They have little choice but to adjust reality for their own comfort level. I, Elsa P, am not going to be able to stop this phenomena however I probably can act in a way that creates fewer problems for people, sparing myself in the process.
Because there is nothing quite so painful and jarring as telling someone your child is fighting for their life and having them tell you that you are lucky, you have it made and you are having a great day.
Do you have any awareness of your psyche’s tendency to alter reality when faced with this kind of disconnect? A smiling person telling you they are suffering for example? How do you handle a situation like this?