With Neptune in aspect to Venus, I have a great sensitivity to photographs. In spite of leaving all kinds of things behind, I have not disposed of a photograph or marred one in anyway (like marking out someone’s face). Nothing against people who purge. I’m just saying if I ever took your picture, I still have it.
Today I was digging through my husband’s pictures to find whatever pictures he had of his friend and thinking of how precious these images are and of the abuses I have seen over the years that are centered around photographs.
For example, when a man gets divorced, invariably the wife keeps all the family pictures. I knew one man (a Scorpio) whose wife gave him negatives only, she gave him not one print of their children. I know another man who did get some pictures; he got all the super blurry pictures no one would want, that should have been thrown out in the first place. He got picture of his baby’s diaper for example, with no face in it.
In my family, I wound up with all the pictures both from my parents and from Henry and in both cases I sat down and dealt them into four piles, one for myself and one for each of my sibs. People tend to take pictures in groups or in a series so I made sure we each got a picture of a certain family picnic whenever possible. I did this because it was fair but also because if someone’s house burned down… well there would still be an image available.
I did that in my 20’s, mailing or delivering a package to each sib and maybe you can imagine my surprise when I found out other people have other methods. For example, some people divide up the pictures by family feud. If you are the black sheep in the family, you get shit. Worse, some people who wind up with family pictures hoard every single picture for themselves due some flimsy justification or form of exercising their power and control. Whatever the reason, it pains me.
When I met my husband’s friends on our honeymoon, I promptly came home and scanned every picture he had that might be of interest to them, copying his son at the same time. When I found out my childhood friend had died, I immediately sent her family every picture I had of her. In that case, her mother’s house had burned to the ground and almost all their family pictures had been lost.
If you are one of those people sitting on all the pictures as if you’re entitled and others are not, I hope this post inspires you to share the love because it is your character that is told when you withhold like this.
Regarding the father’s day story, my husband has precious few pictures of his friend to send the man’s daughter. This is not because pictures weren’t taken. It’s because someone(s) decided he did not need to have them.
While I am aware of the repercussions on this end, I wonder what the repercussions are on the other end and I am happy to say I will never have to find out.
Call this a cautionary tale. Call it what you want but if you’re sitting on another person’s pictures in any form, I hope this inspires you and I hope it inspires you today. Twenty years ago someone stole my baby book. Hmm.
pictured – that is my mother and my grandmother – early 1940’s.