I went off on my boards this morning as I do from time to time. I get pissed off, that’s why. I get so pissed off over who and what I am mistaken for and I am never exactly sure when this is going to happen.
I don’t mean the projection. That’s a constant for anyone who is going to put themselves out there for public consumption, especially if they have Neptune conjunct the Midheaven like I do.
What I mean is I don’t know when I will have angry reaction as opposed to my default reaction which is transcendence, but I may have a clue as of this morning. I can’t say this is true all the time, but it seems I am most likely to go off when the projection is widely disparate from what is going on in my real life, at the moment the insult comes in.
I am just off the phone, after talking to satori. I told her a story that was told to me last night by my husband who read it in a book. I started crying in the telling of of the story, I cried last night when I heard if. satori also started crying when my voice cracked trying to tell her the story. My husband told me the story because he was moved in the same way when he read about it. This stuff just wrecks you with it’s beauty. It’s so loving and then you guessed it…I have to come on my blog or read my email about the (imagined) horror that is, Elsa P. Gah.
This crying in the telling of various things I’ve found out recently has become the norm for me, as has the crying of the person on the other end of the phone, who hears what I have to tell. We’re all quite sensitive these days. I can see this in the transits to my natal chart as well as in my solar return and I am just going to have to retreat. I just can’t wipe the tears from my face, and then get on the computer and read that I am a cunt, do you understand?
Maybe you do.