Neptune Conjunct Midheaven: Preventing Mistaken Identity Is Impossible – Disillusion Guaranteed

illusory new yorkWith Neptune on the midheaven and various other indicators, I am extreme example of a common phenomena where people mistake others for a figment of their imagination. Anyone with Venus mashed up with Neptune (Venus in Pisces or the 12th house, Neptune in the 7th or Venus in aspect to Neptune) is going to find themselves involved in situations like this.

I’ve written a lot about this and made a series of videos. The one below discusses a man who married me when he didn’t even like me.  You might say he married my “hologram” rather than my actual person. When the veil drops on something like this it is very painful in both directions.

It is hard on the person who believes me to be something fantastic, some great light from their imagination. Then they find out I am only human. It is hard on me to be thought so highly of only to fall from grace when I’ve not changed from one day to the next. The result is disillusionment in both directions.

“I thought he/she was wonderful but alas, they were really a horrible person who tricked me…”

That is the victim position which is one people commonly take and for the person who was thrown up on the pedestal (the saint) who is now a sinner. Well, having not lived up to someone’s projection, they are discarded tossed into the sea yet again so it’s hard to say who the victim is.

I was talking to a pal yesterday…

“I don’t know what I am supposed to do. It’s like being on a date with some guy he’s all enamored with my face. He’s just crazy in bliss over my face and my mouth moving and he’s not yet noticed I have a big ass. Eventually he sees my ass and when he does, I am now utterly repulsive and whose fault is that? How am I supposed to go on that date and make someone see my ass or anything else that are not wanting to look at? Do I get some cards printed up with all my flaws? Which flaws according to who? My ass is going to bother one person, my eyebrows will bother another…”

When you get right down to it on one level people like me are being used. We are set up by the person who likes the cycle and the feelings they experience when the veil they put up drops. At this age when someone gets anywhere near me with a veil, I actually have a behind-the-scenes phrase I apply. “I’d like to fast-forward to the part where they hate me,” I say and I am entirely serious.

Neptune has to do with addictions, see and you’re not coming up until you hit bottom. Based on this I am going to do everything I can to send you there because I don’t want to be burdened holding up your veil, the veil that says I have to be and behave like a deity, have not an ounce of fat, etc or you’re going to be disappointed.

Fact is, I can’t win so losing quickly (cutting my losses) becomes my goal and discerning who likes me as opposed to who likes an illusory me becomes my job in life.

Luckily for all parties, I am getting pretty good at this but it has taken years. You’re disillusioned with me apparently not understanding I am equally disillusioned in you.  Who let whom down, hmm?

Do you often find yourself disappointed or disillusioned in relationship?

Note – this post is from 2009. Someone just brought it to my attention.

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Neptune Conjunct Midheaven: Preventing Mistaken Identity Is Impossible – Disillusion Guaranteed — 31 Comments

  1. I personally don’t think people are EVER really seeing the other person, but are always projecting their own archetypes onto each other.

    The secret to happiness, IMO, is to find people who project onto you an archetype that you can identify with somewhat.

    Seeing people as they truly are requires you to maintain a level of conscious awareness that’s definitely not comfortable to maintain with someone you’re close to.

    So you’re probably right on when you say people should try to find people who fill the archetype they’re seeking to fill a little better rather than trying to change someone who doesn’t really fit it.

    • Me too, we share this aspect, in my case it is also opposite the Sun. People do not see me. Ideal subject of projection.
      Sometimes it is funny sometimes is a bit scary or unnerving. I have learned quite easily how to be visible or invisible for people and I ghost people who hurt me. Is it also your experience?

  2. I have Venus opposite Neptune. Have often felt this way….Like I’m some sort of fantasy but am to not have any real needs of my own.

    Even had a guy tell me that I looked like my name would be “Franchesca” or some such more exotic sounding name as my name really very simple.

  3. ha ha ha, Poalua, I can relate. I was asked if I were Egyptian once. “No, it’s just a hair cut,” I said of the bangs I was wearing at the time.

  4. This has me thinking…I have Pisces Venus square Neptune and my fiance has 10th house Pisces with Neptune on the descendant. Perhaps I AM the hologram of my partner’s projection.
    Weird.

  5. Haha, I love how just about every time I come to this blog I find a new answer for why situations play out in certain ways almost always casting me as the leading role…

    I have Venus conjunct Neptune (both in Capricorn and both in the 1st house) by 1 degree. I swear, I have NO idea what people are thinking sometimes when they see me. It’s actually pretty annoying and frustrates me to no end when they’re like “Well you’re not supposed to do that… Don’t say this… What are you wearing? That’s not like something you’d wear…” I’m looking at them like “Are you kidding me? This is who I am, will you just leave it alone and let me be… Damn…” Hahah. Seriously.

  6. …Also, I feel like often times I am trying to tell someone exactly who I am, and they doubt me. How are you going to doubt someone who is telling you who they are? I heard this quote somewhere that says “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Yeah, please do, because I’m not the type of person to lie… Especially not about what kind of person I am. Geeze.

  7. Another thing that occurred to me – I don’t encourage this stuff. I don’t wear a push up bra that can leave a person disappointed when they take it off. I don’t hide my age (face lift) or my beliefs. I don’t even wear make up outside of 2 or 3 times a year and still this happens.

    Ro:

    “That’s not something you’d wear..”

    Ha ha ha ha. You’ve got to look at them mirroring their confusion.

    Then you tell them that “this is who you are” and they leave thinking you are just confused about who you are when they of course, know the REAL you.

    ::shakes head::

    “You suck, Elsa.”
    “Well no I don’t as a matter of fact.”
    “Yes you do, and I’d know. After all, I have known you online for all of 5 minutes.”

    here is one where I get bitched out for being a bad mother and I didn’t even have kids at the time:

    https://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2009/03/02/1-minute-astrology-venus-and-neptune-and-projection/

  8. oh ho, I just noticed this. All this time feeling sorry for Elsa having to deal with this and secretly pretty happy I struggle with the 12th house stuff but..not THIS… and here I am sitting with both venus pisces and neptune 7th.

    ROFL. Looking in mirror, saying oh, that’s where they get that weird shit about me. ROFL…. made my day!

  9. HAHAHA. Yes!!! And that’s funny that you only wear makeup a few times a year, so do I, and I still… Just can’t escape this. It’s wild. It’s humorous and frustrating all at once. I do tell them who I am, and they probably think I’m schizophrenic because I “appear” to be all these other women. And God forbid I actually wear a low cut shirt with a push up bra… Because I just turned into a stripper walking into a restaurant. I mean people stare at me ALL the time, it’s the weirdest thing… And it makes me so self conscious, none of this is helped by my 12th house Sun so I get “vibes” all the time and just… Ugh, turn Neptune off for a little bit.

    Ew, on the bitch post… People need to quit assuming they know who you are or what goes on in your life, and ask if they would like to know. But I’ve made it a personal motto that “If they want to assume they know who I am, what I’m about, how I live my days, let them. If they don’t have the balls to come and ask me, get to know me, then they don’t deserve to have me in their lives anyways.” And I go on about my day. But still… Geeze…

  10. I am also a Pisces Venus square Neptune and have all my life been told I remind people of someone or you look really familiar. I’m not sure if it’s ever been a bad thing though but people do over-familiarise themselves with me very quickly and I often now do the same thing…. let’s FWD to the bit where they’re confused and we can both move on!

  11. Ugh, I know this feeling. Neptune is transiting opposite my Venus and I have been stuck in a constant refrain of, “I’m real!” At which point people invariably state that they know this, and then continue to treat me like a mythical creature.

    There was one man, a Pisces who I have known since childhood, who I recently told that I had been sexually assaulted a few years ago. (for anyone who doesn’t know, the simple act of disclosing that, even years later, is harrowing in and of itself). When I told him, he said, “Hmm, I never thought you could be hurt by something like that. Or at all. What happened to who you used to be? Are you sure it really hurt that bad?” I thought I was going to faint. Instead I just got up and walked right out. What would even be the point of continuing that conversation? I obviously could do nothing but disappoint, being human and all. *shakes head*

  12. Also, Elsa, I want to thank you for covering this topic in such detail. I had never experienced that sort of thing before, and had I not been reading here for years, I would have had no idea what was going on. I probably would have felt crushed. I’ve learned so much about life from you. I just want you to know that all the energy you put out is appreciated and being put to good use.

  13. well, luckily your experience with neptune is unique to you and not so duplicated in others. however, we all can suffer from this aspect of neptune in synastry with certain individuals. maybe my sagittarian moon (one of my chart saviours) is making me extremely optimistic and impatient but I want to jump immediately into how can we make this aspect work for us? By learning as much as we can about Neptune (though not something you can do just by reading some books) and how it may be specifically affecting your chart, you can at least start to make an outline of goals and a plan on turning a negative into a positive. The same can be said for all aspects. I really believe without the slightest doubt that all of these aspects are opprotunities we can turn into gold beyond our wildest dreams.. problem is that ego gets in the way, as does all that goes along with this earthly plane which distracts us from what this life is actually supposed to be.

  14. blazing I agree with you again and am very aware of the upside of the aspect. Thing is there is too much in my mind to put into one post due my own Jupiter so instead there are almost 7000 posts on this blog and another 5000 on my original.

    At some point I covered that angle and I am sure I will again, I just can’t do it all at once. It the curse (and cross) of a broad mind and a packed 8th house that makes it this way for me and the people around me.

    Go deep? Or out? Deep? Or out?

    I have Libra and I can’t decide.

  15. This happens to me all of the time. I have neptune opposite my midheaven.

    I also had a neptune conjunct venus transit about a year ago and the leftovers still haunt me to this day. It’s bizarre. As soon as the transit was over I apparently “tricked” people and they decided to remove me from their life when I was myself. This hurt me quite a bit at first (this all started when neptune left and pluto came in the picture) but I learned it’s for the best.

  16. I’ve seen this video several times throughout my time here on this blog. It hits me hard every time; I think it’s one of my favorite vids. This time, I can clearly see that’s what’s happening in my relationship. The next question is, what do I do now that I’m aware? Getting out of a trap like this is easier said than done.

  17. I have Neptune trine Venus and I get this all the time also…..but, in the opposite mode. Maybe because I have Uranus on my ascendant, most people think I am alot of fun, a liberal, laughing all the time, I meant a liberal thinker, life of the party….but I am not that and when they find out it is funny…..wow, you are boring, so strict, so stern, very conservative by nature….and I say, yes, I was telling you this from the beginning….I must give the impression that things don’t go very deep, when the opposite is true….things go to the core of me.

  18. i am so sick of people telling me who i am.

    i should try harder to put myself out there more. than at least they can get mad at me faster and go away, if that’s what they’re going to do. i don’t get why the sneaky pisces really helps me much.
    but i can hide really well for a long tie if i need to. problem is it becomes habit.

    i used to think i was invisible, most of the time. i think it was because i got so good at it. and then forgot to stop.

  19. Neptune in the 7th, with Venus conjunct Descendant.

    I often find that people will trap fantasy-me in their minds, convinced that they are engaging in a deep connection to me, all the while able to subsist entirely on dreams and fantasies of me that seem oh-so-meaty to them. Like Elsa (if I’m reading your words correctly), I’m also always trying to tear away their veils. It’s impossible to remain on the pedestal, and being forced onto one doesn’t make me want to be there.

    With those that don’t lock me away in their minds, I instead get termed “an enigma.”

    Oh yeah, that Neptune in the 7th is also sextile my 5th house Sun-Pluto conjunction in Libra.

  20. I’ve got Neptune conj. my Libra Ascendant and squaring my Cancer Midheaven……hmmm. I’m thinking. Just moved to a small rural town and feel so judged by folks I don’t know. Often hear myself saying “How can they write me off….they don’t even know me??” Could it in part be due to these two Nep. aspects?? (Also, I’m a Scorpio with PMS…Pluto, Mars, Saturn squaring my Sun.)

  21. Hi all,

    I have a Pisces Midheaven with Neptune opposing my Ascendant and trining my Sun – thank goodness for the trine to my Sun as I think this aspect is a saving grace for me.

    Thanks to Elsa for her openness and honesty in talking about this energy in her own life, I know I’ve had some pretty strange experiences including a drug addicted (didn’t know at the time) boyfriend trying to kill me when Pluto in Scorpio was mixed in with the Neptune energy…

    Lost souls, addicts, hangers-on, etc, etc… I think most of us with Neptune strong in the chart can relate!

  22. I can certainly see myself in this. Venus/merc 12H sq Neptune 9H. They decide they like me, but I have to dance to their song. And I say ‘have to’ because neptune sextiles pluto in the 7H scorpio. They absolutely obsess over making me fit the story they’ve got playing in their head. Happens with bosses as well. So i guess i get used to beihg hated and vilified for just being and stating my truth. I now find it easier to let go of wanting to be liked, knowing this. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less when history repeats itself but for good reason I also came with a Saturn also in the 7th. I’ve learned to shut down relationships as a means of self preservation. I can be cold as ice when I absolutely have to. I have been cut off as well so, whatever.
    The side beingI, Iguess transits are meant not just for a learning experience in itself but also for a learning compassion, as we are forced to walk in another’s shoes at some point… ?

  23. “Why don’t you go find somebody you like and leave me the hell alone!”
    Love it! Wish I thought of that line years ago. I have a 12th House Sun so I get people all the time saying to me “I’ve seen you before.” Uh nope! Maybe in your dreams?

  24. This is really profound stuff. If the whole world could instantly know this… we might make it.

    As a Pisces getting ready for Neptune conjunct Sun, I approve this message.

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