With Neptune on the midheaven and various other indicators, I am extreme example of a common phenomena where people mistake others for a figment of their imagination. Anyone with Venus mashed up with Neptune (Venus in Pisces or the 12th house, Neptune in the 7th or Venus in aspect to Neptune) is going to find themselves involved in situations like this.
I’ve written a lot about this and made a series of videos. The one below discusses a man who married me when he didn’t even like me. You might say he married my “hologram” rather than my actual person. When the veil drops on something like this it is very painful in both directions.
It is hard on the person who believes me to be something fantastic, some great light from their imagination. Then they find out I am only human. It is hard on me to be thought so highly of only to fall from grace when I’ve not changed from one day to the next. The result is disillusionment in both directions.
“I thought he/she was wonderful but alas, they were really a horrible person who tricked me…”
That is the victim position which is one people commonly take and for the person who was thrown up on the pedestal (the saint) who is now a sinner. Well, having not lived up to someone’s projection, they are discarded tossed into the sea yet again so it’s hard to say who the victim is.
I was talking to a pal yesterday…
“I don’t know what I am supposed to do. It’s like being on a date with some guy he’s all enamored with my face. He’s just crazy in bliss over my face and my mouth moving and he’s not yet noticed I have a big ass. Eventually he sees my ass and when he does, I am now utterly repulsive and whose fault is that? How am I supposed to go on that date and make someone see my ass or anything else that are not wanting to look at? Do I get some cards printed up with all my flaws? Which flaws according to who? My ass is going to bother one person, my eyebrows will bother another…”
When you get right down to it on one level people like me are being used. We are set up by the person who likes the cycle and the feelings they experience when the veil they put up drops. At this age when someone gets anywhere near me with a veil, I actually have a behind-the-scenes phrase I apply. “I’d like to fast-forward to the part where they hate me,” I say and I am entirely serious.
Neptune has to do with addictions, see and you’re not coming up until you hit bottom. Based on this I am going to do everything I can to send you there because I don’t want to be burdened holding up your veil, the veil that says I have to be and behave like a deity, have not an ounce of fat, etc or you’re going to be disappointed.
Fact is, I can’t win so losing quickly (cutting my losses) becomes my goal and discerning who likes me as opposed to who likes an illusory me becomes my job in life.
Luckily for all parties, I am getting pretty good at this but it has taken years. You’re disillusioned with me apparently not understanding I am equally disillusioned in you. Who let whom down, hmm?
Do you often find yourself disappointed or disillusioned in relationship?
Note – this post is from 2009. Someone just brought it to my attention.