My legs are crossed

As soon as I found out that I was having a baby I began engaging in the neurotic activity of looking at possible charts trying to guess which one would be hers.  I found myself having thoughts of an offbeat sentimentality such as “Oh look, my dad has that aspect” or “Leo mars sure does run in the family.”  I am also ashamed to say I have had several butt clenched moments of “ooooo, please don’t be born that day, please don’t be born that day.”   And yes today (and tomorrow and half of the next day) is one of those days.

I just don’t know what I would do with a Capricorn moon baby.  No offense to any Capricorn moons out there, especially those who would like to have me as a mom.  My anxiety stems not from my observations of any of you, but of the indelible mark of one particular Capricorn moon to whom I am karmically indebted… my mother.

My mother had a famously bad relationship with her own mother and vowed to be the most self sacrificing mothering mother of all mothers.  Her solemn promise to… herself? God? me and my sisters? …whoever mostly manifested as insane worrying and control freaking obsession over inconsequential detail.  She actually changed me to a different school a week before the first grade because she found a place with “cuter” uniforms.

But that’s not my worry.  My mother is one of my closest friends in the world.  I’ll be extremely lucky if my baby turns out anything like her because I’ll have a new future best friend.  I’m shaking in my boots because, well … this would be karma.  I can see the universe laughing at the idea of sending my mother back at me.  I was a deceptively good little girl until… hormones turned me horrid.  My teenage years into my early twenties were fraught with heart attacking hijinks.  (Ring ring “Hello?”  “Hi mom, do you think you could wire a couple hundred dollars to Ulan bator? I need to buy a horse.”  “WHERE ARE YOU!?!?” ) After the first sonogram, when I told my mother the news “its a girl!” she laughed maniacally for an uncomfortable stretch of time and let out an ominous rasp “just what you deserve, muahahahahahahaha!


Its still a little early and I seriously doubt that the baby is ready yet, but still, if anyone needs me I’ll be lying in bed with my legs crossed for the next few days.

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My legs are crossed — 36 Comments

  1. Yeah, we know who it is.
    I’m married to a moon in Cap, but I’m a Cap so it’s all good.
    Tomorrow is the birthday for both my daughter and my brother!!

  2. oh gosh, i had some thoughts like that with mine. couldn’t get away from the saturn, but he had to have the moon on it, too!
    and, er, he has my mars pisces… and… a whole lot of cancer. which i think is the universe telling me my aries needs to learn a bit more sensitivity, i think (i have more cancers than geminis in my life, and that’s saying something!)

    i’m sure you’ll have a perfect baby 😉
    (and, er, yeah, the idea of having a daughter someday is kind of terrifying, here, too…)

  3. My son is a Sag, and before he was born, I was terrified. “WTF am I gonna do with a Sag?” I wondered. Both me and my Dad are Scorpios, and our relationship is really the kind I wanted to model with my son. But a Sag? Seriously, I was horrified. But he’s 2 now and somehow, we just get each other. We both have Mars in Cancer (poor kid), Mercury in Scorpio (we communicate with each other with secret sign language!) and Venus in Libra (although his is 1st house, and he’s already pretty artistic.)

    But you’re right about karma!

  4. Oh sweetie, if you’re afraid to have the kid born on certain days, it WILL be one of those days. That’s astrology for you. Plus we do tend to have similar astro-stuff to our parents….

    Your mom sounds like my Pisces Moon mom, though!

    Well, worst comes to worst, you know what to expect, I suppose 🙂

  5. Just remembered, one of the neurotic last-weeks activities I did was reading scientific articles. I read a study that the best predictor of baby’s due date is baby’s father’s gestation length. So find out from grandma-to-be when her son was born. In my case, daddy was overdue, and lo and behold our son was a full 16 days past term and woulda gone longer.

  6. As always, you never fail to make me laugh! Thanks for the great post 🙂

    I did exactly the same thing when I found out I was pregnant with #1 son, though not being as into astrology at the time, I only thought — what will I do with a Cancer??? Well, he came a month early, so #1 is a Gemini. But #2 is a Cancer, and he is my “sweet one” — the easiest of my 3 kids to get along with.

    You know it’s more than the chart, it’s just a handy tool that will come in handy from time to time. But you will be a huge influence, Notatirem, and I’m convinced you’ll be a good one 🙂

  7. Nice post Notatirem!

    as the mother of three, I’m here to tell you, you’ll get what you deserve! (laughs)

    All the best to you and magic mystery baby!

  8. Yay, Nota!!!! You know I love your humor! It suits my (ahem..) Capricorn moon =).

    I am also very close with my mom. I was horrid from 15-18, but still, she was my BFF and still is. My daughter also has Capricorn moon (..and sun, and Venus) and I hope we are close like that.

    Aww come on…it’s not too bad 😉

  9. I loved this! I am fascinated by my daughter’s chart. It outlines so clearly how very much NOT LIKE ME she is. It’s a wonderful reminder sometimes. I also look at her chart and wonder and worry. That Venus in Capricorn? What does that mean for her? You know? In a way I’m pleased that she’ll probably never love someone she doesn’t also respect, but I also hope that she doesn’t mistake respect for love, and…etc, etc, etc. You know? I’ve also given thought to the fact that she was born while Venus was retrograde.

    In some ways, I find her chart incredibly reassuring — this is who she is, part of the map of her being — but then again it give me new things to focus my mommy-worry on! LOL!

  10. Nota, that baby girl of your is your karma; any way you turn it. I did find your post touching and hilarious !

    I want to wish you and your daughter a happy and fulfilling birth, and lifetimes of health and laughter and LOVE !

  11. Great post, Nota. Love your funky, arty pic, too.

    I don’t think the Cap moon necessarily had anything to do with your mom’s fussiness or whatever she had going on. (Sorry if “fussy” is not the correct term. I’m at a loss for words today, so fit one in that suits you).

    Anyway… Scorpio moon and Cap moon are a pretty damn good combo under one roof. Cap moon has a way of absorbing Scorpio moon’s special brand of crazy (again, for lack of a better term). Maybe you take it for granted because this is what you grew up with… but there’s a lot worse out there for Scorpio mom’s moon to be subjected to.

    No matter what day or under what moon your girl is born, I wish you happy birthing and joyful mommy moments.

  12. oh nota-tirem! so funny, so true. i can relate…i’ve looked up some of my lovers’ charts with baited (bated?) breath.

    at first i thought nota was an italian name. (you could be from the north with that complexion)

  13. I too have a Cap moon which doesn’t bode well for my Venus in Cancer. I have a love/hate relationship with everyone and everything around me… my only saving grace is my Gemini charm!!

    GOOD LUCK NOTA!! May you be blessed with a strong and happy baby!

  14. If I ever have kids I hope to God that I will have the discipline not to look at their charts until they’re at least two years old. My friend who has a toddler was telling me that she looked at her daughter’s chart and saw a really strong Moon-Pluto aspect and now she’s all paranoid that something horrible is going to happen to their relationship. I was like, “Yeah, when she grows up she’ll be like, ‘My mom looked at my natal chart too early and predicted all this horrible fatalistic stuff and I’m a self-fulfilling prophecy now!'”

    Then again, my own Moon is exactly conjunct my Ascendant in Gemini. My mom and I were joined at the hip (maybe even still at the umbilical cord?) for a long, LONG time. I almost wouldn’t even want to know where my kids’ Moons were, because knowing me I’d try to be exactly NOT THAT and totally confuse them.

  15. Great post, and congrats. 🙂 I wish you a safe and joyous birthing experience.

    I do have to weigh in on the karma-astrology thing though. My grandmother is a Cap sun/Virgo moon, I’m a Cap sun/Virgo moon, and my sister is a Virgo sun/Cap moon. I don’t know what it is, but my mom has *something* to learn from Caps and Virgos in mother/daughter relationships.

  16. I’m with Satori on this one. My Cap Moon is ok… it tends to tone down my Pisces Sun’s wishy washy-ness. My mother is a Virgo Sun with a Cap Moon and Scorp Mars and she is a control freak and a half. I used to be a bit of a control freak but I learnt to pick my battles with my kids. If it’s life threatening it’s not negotiable, but everything else is.
    I loved this post… when my daugther was pregnant we looked at the charts of lots of possible due dates. We hoped he would be a Piscean despite the fact that he was due on Feb 18th (2009). He didn’t arrive until Feb 28th which is a nice day but we didn’t really want him to have the Aries Moon conjunct Venus, Aquarius Mercury conjunct Mars or Aquarius Mars that he has LOL. He is a delightful little Piscean anyway with a packed 5th house so is an entertainer-extraordinaire… we are laughing at him constantly.
    Good luck with the birth… and the chart!

  17. Hope you’re feeling well Nota. When I was nearing childbirth it became hard to sleep because I was so big.

    Have you noticed yourself doing any “nesting” behaviors? I re-organized my closets right before I went into labor with my first.

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