My Husband Thinks You’re Right…And I’m A Wing Nut

wing nutThis may sound as if I am complaining about my husband – I am not. I would not change a hair on his head. I just think this stuff is interesting.

I’m using my husband as an example because he’s married to me, but besides that, we met when we were 17 and 19 years old. He knows me well. There some things he does and thinks and says that truly bewilder me.

First, whenever I have a conflict with anyone – anyone – he sides with the other person. This doesn’t bother me on the whole. Having a sycophant husband would bother me, tremendously. I just think it’s curious.  While he may see and acknowledge any points I make, in a mild way, he invariably lands squarely on the other person’s side.

This may be because we have Mercury in opposition.  I just thought of that. His Mercury is in Aries vs my Mercury (conjunct Mars) in Libra. We do spar. We do oppose. But in whatever case, if I have a problems with someone he is sure to side with them…even when he thinks the person is wrong…even if he thinks the person is a total son-of-a-bitch, whom he loathes, he will still blame me or some failing of mine for the problem.

80% of the time, I think this is good for my character. 20% of the time, it pisses me off.  But don’t you think that’s odd?

The other thing that’s odd is I have this reputation as some kind of flake. I have no idea where this comes from. I show up for work, reliably. You can see that. I pay my bills on time, every time. I have never bounced a check in my life!  I get up every morning, without fail and I perform I’ve maintained this blog for thirteen years!

When I was going through RCIA, they gave me a list of things I could volunteer to do. There was 150 things on the list. I was only interested in doing one of them!  I wanted to bring communion to the sick.

It took me several years to become qualified, but I never wavered – now bring communion to the sick. I have certain days that I volunteer and do you think I fail to show up on those days. Nooooooo!  I’ve followed through.

It seems to me, I’m stable and reliable. But my husband thinks I’m a wing nut, and he’s not the first man whose known me to suggest this. What are they talking about? Is it because I sing to the dogs?

Well let me tell you something. I do not sing to my dogs because I am crazy. I sing to them, because I am happy and when you’re happy, songs just come out.

But people are seeing something, I will admit this.  Because when I met my husband’s son, I asked him what his impression of me was. He said he’d never seen anyone, suddenly just run places. You know. I get out of the car and sprint into the store. (Mars Mercury)I have a reason for that, but I didn’t feel like explaining it.

The other day, it was bitterly cold out. I ran across ice into a store. Some stranger told me to stop running so I wouldn’t slip.

“You’re right!” I said, continuing to move quickly. “It’s very cold!”

Now is that crazy?

Or am I just willing to take a risk?

Are the people who you think are crazy, really crazy, or might it be you, who needs your head examined?


My Husband Thinks You’re Right…And I’m A Wing Nut — 75 Comments

  1. I think that’s great that your husband always sides with the other view point. Like you said, he knows you well, and I have a feeling that by him always taking the other view point, he knows he is helping you more then just taking your side, hes helping you expand your mind, he’s helping you by making you think. It seems to me like you have a very vibrant and stimulated mind, and your husband knows that. If he was to always take your side, you would prob get bored and annoyed and feel like he wasn’t really engaging in the conversation with you, or really trying to understand. When your husband sides with the other person, it shows he is engaged and listening, and hes actually helping you see it from all angles, helping you really figure out the issue yourself. I think that’s wonderful.
    As for people thinking your a wing-nut ( love how you phrased that)
    It’s probably because your eccentric and have many different levels of you, and that your personality goes a little deeper then most. I was an art major in college and the one thing I realized, is the people in this world who have the most depth in their personalities, and the most depth in the way they think, always come across as a little flaky. I think its because our minds work on a different spectrum, that things we do, seem to not make sense to others. You obviously love to write, which takes a lot of creativity.

    Like a writer’s web, you start with the main subject and branch off to 3 other subjects, that each branch off to another three and so on. That’s a great example of how eccentric minds work, they keep going and going and going.

    Many people in our world, have a writer’s web that stops short, yours keeps going, making you more complex, but more interesting! That’s probably why many people may describe you as flaky, but they are drawn to you and love your aura. They love you but cant understand some things! That’s only because their mental webs, don’t extend as far as yours.

    • Welcome and thank you, michellemarie. 🙂

      I agree, it’s good he does this. I really hate a kiss-ass person, never mind a kiss-ass man, lol.

      But it’s is remarkable. He automatically opposes me. It’s complimentary to some extent (at least some of the time). He thinks I am capable of compassion, and also that I can grasp things intellectually. So this would be an example of when it’s not my fault, but I am still failing. 🙂

      It’s better to have a husband with high expectations of you, rather than the other way around.

  2. I think it’s wonderful. Not only does he have high expectations of you, but he also knows how to help you advance. That also shows that he’s always helping you learn more about yourself, because he’s always pushing your way of thinking to get you to reach a higher level of understanding. It kind of reminds me of planetary oppositions. Sometimes they may seem a bit frustrating, and make you want to pull out your hair, but in the long haul, those oppositions are there to help you grow and develop a stronger, more wise version of yourself. So your husband in a sense, knows you inside and out, and cares enough to want you to be the best you can be, so takes the time to be that mental opposition.
    It also shows that he knows how your mental web works, and he knows he needs to make your one thought, branch off and off and off, until you yourself find the answer. That’s fantastic.

    • I understand…and agree. However, once in a blue moon, it would be nice if he said, “Ya know what? You’re right!”

      I have never been right. I have been partially right, right but still wrong, you get the idea…

      There is no discrimination. It always to fix on my position, and then oppose it.

      For the record. he’s got Cardinal t-square (Mercury, mars, Saturn) bearing down on my Mercury.

      I don’t know what to say. If you’ve never had one of these green beret bastards bearing down on you, it may be hard to imagine.

      But you’re right. He loves me, that’s for sure. And I benefit, greatly, with my knife constantly being honed.

    • I do agree michellemarie. This may be another way to show his concern & it is actually appreciable. sometimes we feel they are doing wrong with us which is not true in reality. It makes us strong towards the worst situation when we need to decide which part is correct. either yours or others.

  3. I’d take it as a compliment – that he’d take any help he can to oppose you! Or rather that depth and (I think you said you have 8th house/Pluto stuff going on in your chart) and soul force is strong in you (creativity, singing to dogs, running when people expect you to walk) so this is intimidating to many – your power in fact.

    He probably realises on some level something you may not yet consciously take on board – that (although it irks you as you are only human) you can take it. Far in excess of what others may be able to handle. He may be trying to get you to carry off some of his own stuff, your strength shows too in that you expressed what others might not ever have had the courage to.

    And of course the opposition is ‘the other’ the dancing partner – and he wants in on every dance. Sweet, huh?

  4. I think, it’s a wavelength thing… some people will get you, whatever you are doing and some will never ever get you… and some (like your husband) are mirrors, and you can see your own other side in them 🙂
    cheers, Melinda

  5. By the way, I see no problem with running places.
    OJ did it in the airport, for Hertz. Remember that?

    I think if I walk, I might trip…and I won’t risk it, LOL.

  6. I love the speed factor. I think it is only crazy when I am trying to inflict my speed on someone else or they on me. That is nuts.

    I run more on variable speed levels now. Like try to balance out with whoever(s) I am with because I can always take off on my own or return to my cave and run on my own energy. I read somewhere that when choosing a mate, it should be someone you can sleep next to. I tried to have a relationship with a man that had really high pitched energy. I think he was a sun uranus conjunct. I just could not relax around the guy. What I did like about him was when he had those moments of pure clarity. It was awesome. But he was just too high voltage for me over all.

    The runners can make me nuts if they run out of things to do and then start running over the top of my things. I don’t really get the point, but have to accept that that is what the runner does, runs.

    Anyway, I really like this post about the energy people run and how we utilize it. It is so fun to tune into. And awareness and acceptance saves me alot of grief.

  7. I think that’s just hilarious how you run everywhere. Its a cute visual. If I had a husband who never validated or supported my point of view I would kill him. I have no idea how you can stand it. That’s the thing that makes me more crazy than anything else. You don’t have to agree with me, but you sure as hell better acknowledge and support my opinion. Otherwise you just end up feeling not heard.

    • I never knew that I ran *anywhere* until he said that. Had you asked me, I’d have told you that I am not a runner…and I am not. I am a sprinter!

      But I guess I am old for this shit, and I wear skirts all the time, yanno. I own a pair of jeans but have not put them on in…eight years.

      One time I rode my motorcycle to dinner, wearing a dress. This also made sense…it was a nice place. But my legs were cold (and bare), I’ll tell you that.

      Really, I’m just going places. Crazy to me, means you can’t function. I, on the other hand, am a high-performance model – there is a difference!

  8. “I told them on my blog, you locate my position and oppose it.”

    “That’s your version. I disagree!”

    “See? You’re doing it now.”


  9. Also wanted to say that there is no right or wrong, there are only people’s opinions. I can’t stand people who always need to be right all the time. My mom is one of those people, and its a battle trying to get heard sometimes. I will state what is true for me, and she will say ‘yes, but…and then go on to tell me why its wrong. Drives me insane. She knows she can’t stand being wrong about things, but its still a huge struggle. So when I’m discussing something with someone, its important to not only feel heard, but also supported in that my opinion is valuable and right for me. A lot of women do that automatically, but men often don’t. It’s tied into their ego. Some men can though, and I prefer to be with them.

    • I have asked him if I could be right just once, like for my birthday or something, but I don’t think this can be managed.

      I accuse him of missing a lobe of his brain, but really I think it’s the charts!

      We get along because I am agreeable…with a Mars-flavor.

      “Where are we going to eat?”
      “You know I can’t decide anything,” I say. “You tell me – where are going to eat?”

      Then he decides and off we go.

      I mean, I don’t really care where we eat. We like the same food – we’re married!

      What I don’t do is “camp” or be in an RV for vacation.

      DREAM ON.

      He actually tried to get me to camp on our land on vacation, cook over a fire like I am a boy scout.


      I am wrong for not wanting to do this of course.

      “Because of P, we have to get a nice cabin with lots of room, so people can come visit us. If it was up to me, I’d say, we’re in the woods, come see us if you like…but I’m giving in, because she’s my wife and that’s what men have to do. They have to do what their wife says, even if she’s wrong and she’s crazy.”

      And then I just stare at him, because really, what can be said?

  10. I think his Mercury in Aries is just mirroring your Mercury conjunct Mars, since they are in opposition. You want to be right, but your Libra needs to see the other point of view and try to balance things. So, you’ve attracted in a man who needs to be right…he is really your mercury conjunct mars that you’ve projected out there.

    • yeah, I know we are equivalent. But this is about him depriving me… it’s his Saturn on both our Mercuries. But I see what you mean, barb. 🙂

      • Saturn-depriving…

        Is it the disciplinarian,tough love, stern, this is how it IS mindset? Like being right would be fun and fulfilling but that is why you always have to be a bit wrong, because it builds character and who needs fun when you can CONSTANTLY be building character?

  11. I think you are a little bit of a wing nut ,too., but that’s what I like about you. You talk abut intersesting but offbeat matters and ideas run through your head very quickly. I know I couldnt keep up, but when I do stop in and read , all is very interesting to me because it’s not mainstream.

  12. I just thought of “ugly pants across America” which is when I wore ugly pants across America.

    But this was also sensible.

    My definition of crazy is that you’re a lunatic, which clearly, I am not!

    I think “fun and happiness” looks like “crazy: to some, especially Scorpio!

  13. The man probably likes to have a nice quarrel from time to time!

    All my life my mother has been doing the same thing. She takes the opposing side always, and I mean always. And lately my father also chimes in – because he is always there, listening to everybodys conversations. They do this because they ‘know me’, they ‘know’ how I behave, they ‘know’ I am strange, etc. They know everything. Yes, and it’s always ‘some failing of mine’ that is the cause of the conflict. It’s exactly like that!

    Only, I don’t think it improves my character, nor do I care. All I know is that it infuriates me! It really pisses me off (100% of the time)!

    But, you know, you have set me thinking! I DO like to be right – ALWAYS. And, I am not always nice, or right.

    I don’t think that all this about being crazy is serious, at least not in this context.
    I really feel that it is said to you out of fondness.

    (I had to look up the term wing nut, I have never heard it before. I wonder why you used that exact term?)

  14. Yes, Marina. That’s exactly it.

    Well maybe he or she this.
    Or maybe he or she that.
    Or you could have..
    Or you don’t have to…

    I just roll my eyes, and do what I want.

    It isn’t that he doesn’t make good points. His points are excellent, much of the time. But he’s got not estrogen, and this is a liability in certain situations.

    Here’s another example – I watch some obnoxious bastard stand up in a meeting with 150 people, 1/3 of whom would like to speak. This guys stands up (front row) and makes 15 speeches (repetitive), dominating, wasting everyone’s time – I come home frustrated.

    “Well, P, I’m sure he had some things he wanted to say.”

    It almost sounds like he’s trying to piss me off, but he’s not. He just thinks I should go with the flow, I suppose.

    But in the same circumstance, I am pretty sure, he would have stood and told the guy to shut up / sit down – “You said your piece!”

    So in a way, it is just looking for a fight.

    You can say I’m like this, but you’d be wrong. I am looking for a good time.
    I like to laugh and swing my hair around, and not have problems.

    If I do have problems, I like solving them so I can go back to my singing and living in peace.

  15. I like to laugh and swing my hair around, and not have problems.

    If I do have problems, I like solving them so I can go back to my singing and living in peace.

    …I love this. I love to laugh and have no problems also. very well said.

  16. I think communication can get very mixed up. Depending upon the values of each person and their comprehension of it, and even how something is said. The intent. For example, i note some of you find the ‘wing nut’ thing funny. I do not, generally. If a friend said it and jovially, then i’d probably grin and laugh, but they wouldn’t want to be saying it often. They might find i would break the friendship. If my husband called me that, i’d be concerned with a lack of respect for my intelligence and judgement. It would imply to me, that i am not a reliable person, irresponsible, not capable, unwise or foolish. None of which i find complementary coming from my husband.

    I would go camping in the back yard of my own property. I see the value in that. But there would be no fishing, as i have no lake. Though toilet trips and kitchen duties would be a breeze.

    Perhaps my upbringing, family culture are a little different to yours. Referring to my partner as wing nut, tool, etc is regarded as derogatory and dangerous to the quality of the relationship. It is taken as insult and disrespect. It wouldn’t go down well in my family. Were not total straight rods. Banter and play is allowed but a certain level of respect must always be in place.

    As for taking the other person’s side in a debate. Well.. depends. If that is so, then i would reconsider my view point, as i would regard my partners intelligence and wisdom highly. So if he said i was wrong, i would take this under consideration. If it happened often, i would be concerned. I would take it as either i don’t have his support generally on my views and judgements or my judgement was off base regularly. In any case very different view points make for arguements and tension. I like things loving and supportive. Generally i would like us to be agreeable on most judgements and view points. A difference at times is good. It allows the ability to see things from a different perspective. But if it happened often, i woud be concerned.

    But that’s just me and mine. Perhaps we are different in the way we view things. I know some people who love a good argument. I can’t stand to argue with heat, nor my father or my son. We would rather talk gently and toss about logical pro’s and con’s and it’s all very respectful and there is a certain level of propriety. My daughter however is a different kettle of fish. She likes to spar. She had no problem with thowing about some verbal hits and then returns to normal as if nothing happened. We take big issue with her way of being. It is difficult. We find it damaging. She sees not wrong with it. So .. different people, different views. I love my daughter. But she has an antagonistic personality. She doesn’t see it though. She can’t let things just ride. She is a very strong willed person. If she doesn’t like something, she is sure to let everyone know it. She’ll stomp about the house and go on and on complaining about this or that about a person. We gently say..ah well dear, i’m sure the person didn’t mean it like that, or perhaps the person has a point..but you know theres no point really discussing it with her. She has her mind made up and doesn’t realise she’s coming on so strong, noone bothers to to interject much. She argues alot. It’s a shame. She doesn’t realise how stressful it is for the rest of us. She rushes about always in a hurry. Often stressed about this or that. It’s heartbreaking to watch really. She struggles with people all her life. We have been practicing the buddhist mindset techniques with her to allieviate the problems. It has made a huge difference, but we have come to accept that this is just who she is. Unfortunately. My heart goes out to her, and to those poor people who have to deal with her closely.

    We pretty have learned things have to go her way, the way she likes it or there is hell to pay. Doesn’t make for a good relationship. We find it tiring and a strain. But we so truelly love her and adore her. She has some truely lovely qualities. It’s fortunate we are so flexible and tolerant, other wise the relationship would have devolved into an ugly destructive fight that caused division permanently. She had to be right. That’s it. Her way or no way. She won’t let up. So.. yeah we let her think she has won. In reality she has lost, but she doesn’t get it. Huge shame. Breaks our hearts. Ah well.. what can you do? Generally just say..yes dear..and flow on, not worth the argument.

    • I understand how you feel, but my husband is not unique on the crazy thing.

      For example, my ex, the AMF (many know of him here), thought anyone who was as happy as I was *had* to be crazy.

      My husband never disrespects me….ever. Oh man, there would be hell to pay! I’m Italian and I have a frying pan!

  17. Just my opinion, but i find people, particularlt men, throw the ‘crazy’ word about far too much with little thought. Often i find they lack introspective view, so they just right it off as ‘your/she’s crazy’. It is not helpful nor skillful thinking. It’s lazy. It shuts down the conversation and allows the labeller to keep their view and disengage. Not good house keeping in relationship skills. And i DO find this disrespectful. I would be disregarding your opinion as unimportant, nor acceptable, not even respecting your view point or judgement to call you ‘crazy’. No.. as your partner it would be of great import to me that i understand how you think. It is who you are after all. It encompasses your motivations, your emotions, your dreams, your hurts and concerns. would be vitally important to me to understand and be in general agreement with your mind set. I would want you to feel ‘heard’. I would want you feel supported. I would want you to feel ‘in sync’ with me.

    • I understand how you feel. But the interaction you describe is nothing close to how we interact.

      My husband is DEEPLY introspective. Matter of fact, last night we were talking about Saint Ignatius, who my husband named our dog after. My husband uses his method of self-examination and has for decades. Google – I don’t think you’ll find it to be the least bit shallow or lacking.

      Anyway, I think it is a cultural thing. And maybe you want to see us in this negative way, but it’s not real.

      I do remember an astrologer telling me once, I was odd in that I could live in what she called a “world of disagreement”. I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. Who in their right mind, thinks everyone is going to agree with them?

      She told me at that time, that most people could not tolerate disagreement – it disturbs their force, maybe? I don’t really know, but we’re not like that.

      The main thing for us is can we work together and we can. The love is a given.

      So in our actual real lives..well I wrote in the piece, I’d not change a hair on his head…and takes me as is, as well.

      And I know, if I gain 100 pounds, lose my breasts, my arms, my legs or even my mind…if I am brain dead, he will be right there at my side.

      This is disrespect? I don’t think so. 🙂

      Just try to unplug me in a coma – you’ll be dead. I am his wife and I assure you, I am precious to him, with whatever flaws I have, real or imagined. 🙂

  18. I wasn’t talking directly about your husband. I always talk ‘in general’. Using some personal bits as example. From what you have spoken of your husband, it seems to me gnerally the man is a deep thinker and patient and tolerant, easy going. Very good husband. But i don’t know him.

    I agree with all your points. The point about ‘living in a world of disagreement’ is VERY interesting. Yes this is quite a skill. Some acheive it by ignoring the issue altogether. politicians, can live in this world quite well and continue to negotiate and debate. Not for me personally, i find it tiring and i can not bare it. Have little interest in it. Avoid it like the plague.

    Yes i understand about the acceptance, love thing. I disagree with my beloved daughter almost very often. But i do see her point of view. And god help anyone trying to ‘pull the plug’ on her while i breathe. (smile) In this respect i can live in a world of disagreement. For her, i do it. But i wouldn’t for most. I accept people are different and i try to find an agreeable way to keep our lives seperate, or atleast not having to tolerate each other alot. Better for all concerned.

    Oh the disrespect thing.. mm.. what i meant was..okay example..right now you and i are seemingly on opposing points of view. You make the interjecting point about the losing arms and legs and weight gain etc to prove your point. Very good..i agree, this shows love, this shows loyalty and many things though respect..i am not so sure. But perhaps. But in any case that’s not what i was pertaining to. What i meant about the disrespect was, that if for example i just shutdown the conversation now by interjecting ‘your crazy’ or a ‘wing nut'(rolls eyes) then i would be disengaging and disrespecting your view point. By doing this i would not be able to further learn and gain understanding about the way you view things. So that is what i mean by disrespect in that senario. I do not mean about your husband. I mean it about ALL of us.

    In any case, it is not something i care to bother about. You opened the discussion. I/we have answered. In varied ways. That is all. You have your way. They have theirs. I have mine. We must RESPECT differing view points by accepting their valid to that person. That is what i meant by disrespectful about the ‘crazy’ thing.

    I loved the ‘live in a world of disagreement’. Very important statement. I find generally as we get older, people like less to live in a world of disagreement. No not everyone will agree, that is not logical. But there are fundamental things all humans share and agree on. One of which, as we grow older we don’t like to live in a world of disagreement.

    You are a very interesting character. Bright, smart. And very funny. I enjoy our conversations. Much love to you dear sister. have a lovely day.

    • Thanks, Fushion. When my husband says I’m crazy, it’s to start a conversation, not end one 🙂

      I miss Saturday Night Live.

      “Dan, you pompous ass…”
      “Jane, you ignorant slut…”

      Back when there were two sides to a story. 🙂

  19. ARRGGHH!!! OMG.. I am NOT coming to your house for christmas. (grin) Different family culture. Still, i do see your point of view. (smile). You are very funny. These issues were present in my last relationship. He communicated like that. His family way of being together. We, my family, were appaulled and horrified. hehehe. We accepted the difference and respectfully i disengaged and left him and the relationship after a careful gentle conversation stating the reasons why. He is still stalking me 3years later and abusing us. But you see, to him, it is just his way of keeping in touch. He doesn’t understand his behaviour is grating to us. It is jsut what it is. We accept this and flow on. He gets upsets and yells alot. This is how they communicate in his ‘tribe’. Different people different values. I have to go Elsa, i’m late for my walk. I will come back and chat again later. I am not shutting down the conversation, i just have to attend to other things at the moment. Have a lovely day.

  20. “Are the people who you think are crazy, really crazy, or might it be you, who needs your head examined?”

    Oh, man, what a question…
    I’m sane. I am totally sane. I am one of the sanest people you will ever meet, actually. But I ain’t normal and a lot of what I do doesn’t make sense to other people, even if it makes perfect sense to me.
    So then I’m crazy. Certifiably bat-shit! I am the most irrational person you will ever meet (actually *grins*). So cue up the smoke and angle the mirrors, ’cause it’s time for some good ol’-fashioned gaslighting! (Yaaaaaaaay! Not.)

    Ugh. Just reading that question reminds me of four years of hearing how irrational and wrong I was, day-in, day-out. *shudders* And I really did start to believe it, because, hell!, if they’re all seein’ it then who am I to argue?

  21. Hi Elsa,

    I just read something yesterday which I think applies to you & your hubby. When he says you are crazy, you don’t get FURIOUS. You get CURIOUS. An excellent way to be in relationship, if one can manage it. I am in a 5-year relationship with a man whose Mars squares mine. Lately, too many conversations feel (to me, at least) like a passive-aggressive power struggle, in which I feel frustrated, and he seems amused. As Fusion said, we come from different tribes. No fault. No foul. Just different ways of being and expressing. In our 60’s (second Saturn returns) we met after both of our spouses had died. We probably clung to each other for comfort & companionship. He got me through a cancer scare last year as well. I am sooo grateful for that, but lately, I think a LOT about leaving this relationship. Nothing massively wrong. It simply feels like a very nice shoe that just doesn’t fit. Great guy, but not the guy for me, it now seems. Of course, the current astrological aspects (Cardinal Grand Cross coming up on everyone, Mercury Retrograde and long-term Mars Retrograde in Libra, of all places) may be impeding my usual Libra Rising tolerance and seeing the other person’s perspective. Yes, I admit to being “Miss Cranky Pants” lately. Oh, and last August, I became the primary care taker for a 90-year old parent, too. The pressure of that could certainly add to my Cranky Pants Syndrome, right???

  22. Theres a saying in the uk that goes “theres nowt so strange as folk, apart from me and thee. And thee’s a bit strange.”

  23. I like this post a lot! I can relate. I have a relationship where my best friend does side with the other people and that drives me nuts because its consistent. Our Mercury’s are sextile. You would think your best buddy would stand up for you some of the time.
    Still, I get the same thing from people. You are CRAZY… You are a nut. I try to research why people see me as they do. I am completely responsible, yet unconventional. So I ask, why do you say that? Why do you think I am CRAZY. Oh they say Crazy in a good way. What I’ve found is people have a hard time with their expression. They always say because you are out. You do not contain. You do things that people often contain…. such as singing, talking to people, talking on a deeper level and yes being HAPPY. Most people do not express their happiness outward or much else for that matter. I’m talking about in Public. Also I can talk to anyone, about things. My Mars squares my Mercury… this has been a problem for me. Rather than filter anything that comes from my mouth. I say what I feel. I don’t think about it first. That does not go over well at times, because it is raw. Mercury is in Libra and Mars is in Cancer. SO I always have thoughts popping in and out. I’m working on some form of containment especially my knee jerk reactions. In the meantime…. lalalalalala sing a happy song! ; )

  24. Ughh. I’ve got mercury in virgo, which is a blessing. I’m smart as a whip, and i analyse automatically. But it’s square saturn in gemini. So the first thing out of my mind and mouth is right on target, but when people WE add emotion to it and make it more personal i get very fuzzled and i lose my communication ability because i’m so worried about hurting them, triggering defense and avoidance which muddy the waters. I need to regroup and take some time (saturn).

    I find it helpful to firstly remind myself not to get bogged down in arguing the point, but rather put energy into the solution. Then i add the cultural translation differences, to better understand the analysis and to cultivate compassion for the other parties. For without that, you argue from one side of the tennis court rather than blend together and work together. I also find very useful to ask myself what is my intention here? Then i check that against the method i using to convey that. Does my action, speech follow through on my intention. Because more often than not WE as humans tend to subconsciously think we are trying to acheive one thing whilst actually looking at our actions, we can see that is not the case.

    Example.. Over here in Australia, we have been dealing with Asylum issues from foreign country people who claim to be in need of assistance. It’s a heated debate and we, as a nation, are divided on the issue. Well..not really.. we want to help those in need. The real issue is, do we believe they are in need, or they taking advantage of our generosity. So you see how things get muddied. Then we have the cultural divide. Add psychology issues, these people are very frightened, stressed to the limit and feel very threatened. Many suffering deeply from severe trauma. So their behaviour is high conflict. Recently we have had a change in government and leadership. This new government is known for it’s hard stance on issues, and it’s (saturn) no nonsense attitude. Which we all admit, as a country, we need at the moment. Weve all been far too much to the left over the last 10years and it shows in negetive consequences in this country. Anywho.. This new government took a harsher stance against the asylum seekers who revolt or damage property or behave disrespectfully. Now.. if we ask ourselves the question of what are we really trying to acheive here, we be a loving understanding and responsible country and to assist these people. Yet our actions ignore psychology reports and suggestions in leui of more security and harsher penalties. So i put to you, that our REAL objective isn’t to help, but to CONTROL. It’s not that were not trying to help, we are just having trouble with the HCP’s like everyone does, and have found kindness and tolerance to be abused. So..the outcome..well they have learned not to misbehave, but what have we learned? To be more controlling and to step up the conflict if challenged. It shuts down the conversation. It’s a domino effect. And are we all any closer to peace and understanding? Nope.
    Only by communication, empathy and reasoning can we find the answeres needed. When both sides work together to understand each other and build report rather than devolve into power plays can a real solution be met. Otherwise it becomes a tolerated ignorance at best, passive agressive subconsious behaviours or and at worst a complete division.
    Sometimes though, it’s too muc of a stretch. It takes alot of energy and effort, and many people don’t want to bother with so many difficulties. It’s like the UN trying to bring us all under some agreed form of ethic standard. It makes for better cooperation. But blows apart if all parties are not ethical. Or, if you like, mum and dad ruling the roost and the family behaves according to that cultural set.

    So bringing it down in proportion to this senario.. i put to you, that WE, humans, often are not actually after what we think we are. First case point.. if you really wanted to be right just once, there would be no need of his /her approval. What you really want is their support, agreeance. So working from that basis we change our tactics. Now it becomes a two way point by point analysis of why some of their points, thoughts are good and why some of yours are, builds repore and sets a standard. And on it goes. Personally i find opposing or square mercury’s to be too much of a strain. But i appreciate their input and thought process. It is mind opening and keeps me sharp. I take the view i am grateful to my teachers. And everyone is my teacher if i care to learn. Right or wrong is not a good way of being. Crazy, normal. All peas and pods, doesn’t matter who says it or who does it. What is of import, is that we take the view of the middle way. Cause and effect. What consequence does this action, thought have on the karmic outcome? From working from this method we alieviate the wrong/right win/lose which causes division, and promote cooperation and a better solution. Critical thinking must always be applied but with compassion. Empathy is a very good way of meeting the other sides point of view and establishing better communication. Always stay on point. If the conversation devolves from subconsious defense mechanisms, gently take some time away and then reapproach from on point.

    Hope that was better said, clearer than yesterday.
    Have a great day everyone.

  25. Ohhhh. See now I would be irritated by that. I am not putting down your husband and I can handle if someone says, yup, I agree with the other person, but MOST of the time? I would see this as intentionally being combative. But I’m Uber Mutable and can see all sides so maybe some people find that annoying. As far as a wing nut? Meh. You are an individual and you live that way, it’s beautiful. The world has this weird thing, whether the world realizes it or not, with labeling everything. It doesn’t matter what tribe you are in, there are still labels assigned. If you were in a hippie commune, maybe some of your more practical virtues would be deemed stifling. Whatever, I think you’re beautiful. And funny thing is, you have a tribe here who agrees with you. At least I do, most of the time. Except I’d tell that military Aries man to lighten up. That shit would hurt my feelings eventually. But that’s me.

  26. Oh, oops. Not an Aries, Mercury Aries. (you know what I mean). And singing to your dogs. I sing to my cats. In fact, the other day I was singing to my cat. She’s a bobcat, but I call her the mysterious rabbit cat, with a butt like a rabbit and the brain of a lion…..lalala…. she likes it.

  27. Well said Elizabethe. yes, i think we can all agree, that other issues aside, commonly we are all supporting Elsa in this community (tribe). But that does not mean we are against the husband or the ex husband or the mouse in the house or the neighbours. hehehe. Merely that we sympathize with Elsa, and the reasoning why. Perhaps our time would be better spent discussing positive ways to make it better. I would like to see Elsa and her man, and frankly all married couples, to be closer and very smidgion pigeon most of the time. And when were all done acheiving that, could we set our minds to acheiving that within our 7 billion strong family? That would be a monumental acheivement well worth working toward.

  28. Oh….we’re in Pisces season…..what???? I didn’t read anyone’s posts and I wrote mine. I do believe the word tribe was used before my use. I got excited and had to write this. Tribe IS the feeling I am getting. So know I must go read everyone’s stuff because….. Pisces ASC…out.

  29. I’m so sorry… and all my progressed planets are in Libra (5)….but I re-read your post. EVEN if he thinks shit of them he sides with them? I, like all of your posters, don’t want to stir shit ….but…what?

    • As an example, let’s say I get involved with some bad people. He knows they are bad people and would (and will) beat their ass bloody if his path ever crossed theirs, for what they’ve done to his wife.

      This is still my fault, because I should not have gotten involved.

      I hope this clarifies things! It’s Saturn, maaan. I am responsible for my life. I don’t have a problem with this.

      Who stepped in the pit?
      I did?
      Who trusted blindly?
      I did.
      Who paid the price?
      I did.

      Does it help me to say, those mean bastards, you poor little girl? Probably not.

      “Elsa, watch your ass.”

      I think that’s worth conveying.

      This is the situation I was thinking of when I wrote that.

      • I’ve never heard you talk like this. The demure wife who needs some man to point out to her or even fight her battles for her? I’m being dramatic obviously. You went from ownership of self to his part. I love your husband. I love him because you wouldn’t write and do what you do if you were an unhappy woman. And I get the manliness, the guardian. Maybe I’m sensitive to it. Because there is a point. I love a strong man. I’m a girly girl but I’m fucking capable. Maybe it’s me, the constant siding with others rings a fucking bell in my head. Oh yeah, he’ll kick somebody’s ass for breathing in my direction but a REAL discrepancy…ohhhh,,,,I’m so wrong. I’ve had that relationship a few times. It doesn’t work for me. Maybe it works for you, E. Everybody’s different.

  30. that’s 5 actually it’s 6 in libra. can’t be firing off blog posts like that and expect us not to try and figure it out. love.

  31. ST’s caregiver and their female roommate are always giving each other shit. And the dynamic is very much like the titke describes. ST has to constantly remind me that those two care about each other and it’s all in good fun.

  32. This is apparently one of my better ink-blots!

    Y’all cut loose with your analysis and judgement of people you’ve never met. I don’t see the benefit of it, though. Or the purpose or what drives you.

    • well, then. so it is. I’m gonna say what everyone else that read your post wanted to say. Fuck him. He sides with anyone? Even though their a $#@#!#$. Stand outside of yourself and re-read your post. I guarantee most people on here have the desire to fight for your_______. And you have the nerve to then right oh, haha… to lay in judgement of people you’ve never met, I don’t see the benefit of it. What a fucking setup. You complain, in a very well written way and expect for your readers to not viscerally feel a response. Screw you.

        • Oh I see! Sun conjunct Neptune in Pisces.

          I don’t know what to say, elizabethe. I mean you no harm.

          But I doubt you believe me so I’m at a loss.

          • but, you started it, didn’t you? no harm. no. mocking people who respond to what you write. If you say so, Elsa, no harm. You write about personal things and then you get upset and retort that WE are commenting on people we know nothing about? Then don’t write about them. YOU put them out there to be written about. Blame yourself.

  33. “I have a bloody nose,” I said. “A real bloody nose.”

    “Stop snortin’ that cocaine, P.”

    See, I think that’s funny. Y’all be turning him in for abuse!

  34. “Do you think I’m demure?”

    “What’s that mean, exactly?”

    Reading from the dictionary, “modest, unassuming, meek, mild, reserved, retiring, quiet, shy, bashful, diffident, reticent, timid, shrinking, coy…”

    “Oh yeah, that’s you. That’s you, P.”

    He says he has enough vagina monologue in his life.

    Ha ha ha ha.
    ‘I am writing this for the people who think it’s funny. If you don’t, please advert your eyes!

  35. ‘the world of disagreement’ . . . point taken. 😀 I thought maybe it was my imagination. Gosh golly, it exists. It’s not about me. Trick is for me not to take it as attack I guess. It’s just sparrin. Maybe I’m just lazy. It seems like oh so much work. But that’s just me. Give me some sunshine, birdies, bugs, plants, I’m good.

  36. The main thing that comes across to me is how much you two love each othe rAnd I totally love how clearly the astrology describes the dynamic between you. Thats what got me into astrology… trying to understand what goes on between people. Once I knew someone who’s Jupiter was opposite my sun and every conversation we had, he always had to be right. He always was right. When I saw the opposition and read about what it meant, then I could just laugh… cause… Ahhh its that Jupiter thing!

    When your’re with your soul mate, as it seems you are, this stuff all becomes ‘grist for the mill’. I love that you get that!

    Elizabeth… you are totally missing the point here. There is so much love between these two its palpable.

  37. I have Uranus Mercury Sun…. in 9th house of higher learning. I AM a wing nut!! And a genius (at times:) Just depends who I am talking to! lol!!!

  38. I just perused the Aries-Libra stuff. (I hadnt niticed the tag)That material is going to be useful during this Mars transit thru Libra. Thanks Elsa!

  39. This is fascinating to me: my Mercury is in Pisces, directly opposing my husband’s Virgo Mercury. We fight like mofos. It’s getting to be a point of humor, we’ve decided, but it’s caused us a lot of grief. Being 5H Aries and 10H Leo suns, the assholery flies freely between us lol I tend to play devil’s advocate a lot.
    I also am mistaken for the flake 🙂 Since I was a kid: I feel out loud and I speak my truth. It may occasionally be egotistical nonsense, but sometimes it’s just what needs to be said. I think people in hiding sometimes project “crazy” onto me when they fear their own shadow. Not always. But I think at least sometimes… 12Hr libra Pluto and 5H Pisces Mercury: I don’t do small talk easily for long.

  40. I get it. It turns you on. It keeps you encaged in life.

    It took me two days of reading this post and the comments to get this. But I understand now that it’s about a deeper need. A subconscious need. Many many people are not in touch with that part of themselves. The fact that you can live with it and vocalize it at the same time is pretty cool in my opinion Elsa. It’s truly respectable really.

    Ya know, we are fed a lot of bullshit about relationships nowadays. But it’s not based in reality. I deeply value this perspective.

    • We both have Mars involved with Mercury…we like stimulation. To be tweaked, maybe? To tweak and be tweaked.

      “You look handsome,” I said.
      “P, don’t lie to me.”



      • By the way, oppositions loop around and complete. satori is on to this, she mentioned it recently. But my husband proved it, mathematically, some years ago.

  41. “I know I’m getting skinny, because my ring is falling off my hand.”

    “That has nothing to do with it, P. That’s why when you go to the doctor, they say, let me see if your ring is loose. No need to step on the scale or anything.”

    “Oh for Godsakes. Everyone one knows, when you pork up, your ring is tight with skin bulging around it.”

    “P, P, P, you’re crazy.”

  42. Hahaha I totally get the ring thing!

    I”ve been thinking about this thread and I know that I have some of this oppositional energy myself. My boyfriend says I always play the devil’s advocate.. My Saturn is opposite his mars so I’m often correcting him. And my Mars is on his sun! Poor guy!

    I do think its important to be aware when we have this tendency. Okay if we’re soulmates… we love each other anyway…. but it can still get wearing. Important to be self aware! (Which is the point of astrology isnt it?) Sounds like the sparkiness probably feeds your hubby in some way. Does it feed you?

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