My Husband Does Not Satisfy Me

Dear Elsa,

I’ve been married to a Cancer man for 6 years. He can be wonderful most of the time. He is extremely loyal and down to earth. Most women would be happy to have someone like him.

But me? We don’t seem to mesh, and we have such a hard time getting along. He is stubborn, emotionally manipulative, a homebody and holds a grudge like nobody’s business. I am the total opposite. I am spontaneous, and I love going out. I’ll explode emotionally, and the next minute I’m all cuddly and loving and have forgotten all about whatever pissed me off.

How am I supposed to get along with this man of mine?

Ambivalent Wife

Dear Ambivalent,

He’s wonderful, but he sucks… is this right?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but I don’t think you have to get along with him. You have to get along with YOU. Is it his fault that you want to be partnered? And is it his fault that at the same time, you want to be free from partnership? I don’t think so!

Now I don’t know him, but lets just say you’re right about all of this. Let’s just say he’s a manipulative homebody. I can buy that. Plenty of Cancers are! But what about his positive qualities? He’s good with women, yes? He knows just what you neeeeeed! This is why you married him, yes? Because when you put your arms around him and you know you’re home.

Now is it his fault you want to be home and you want to leave home… and then you want to be home again? I don’t think so! Are you getting my point?

Your man is a flawed human being, but so are you! You’re as muddled as he is, aren’t you? Because the truth is, you need him. It’s you with the Libra rising, that want to be partnered. It’s you with the sun and moon in the seventh house, that wants and needs relationship to the nth degree.

It’s also you with your Sun in Aries, who wants to be ON YOUR OWN. And further – it’s you with Venus in Aquarius, who wants to rebel against the partner – to be free from relationships. And you know what?

I could go on and on and on about the million contradictions in your chart and how not one of them is the fault of your husband. So how to get along?

Well I’d say get a mirror and check it frequently. Understand your propensity to PROJECT is off the page and next time you think he has a problem, look in the mirror. Ask yourself this: “What is the problem I am having?”

Because you know what? As soon as you point the finger at him, you’re screwed.

Good luck!


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