My Fiance Says I’m Rude – Double Sagittarius

Dear Elsa,

My fiance has told me several times that I’m rude. She’s not the only one that has told me that. I’ve heard this many many times before throughout my life. That I interrupt, that I’m patronizing, that I’m selfish in conversation, and that in conversation I say things in a rude tone of voice. Why do I keep doing this? Actually, why don’t I notice when I do this?? I don’t want to be rude to people, especially my soulmate. Is this something that I can change or is this something innate?

Double Sagittarius
Cuba

Dear Double,

Yes, as a double Sagittarius with Mercury in Sadge, you are naturally mouthy and tend to be a know-it-all. Your ideas are always bigger and better than the other person’s and as you can see this pisses people off.

chart1With Mars in Aries, you probably don’t mind the fight but not everyone feels the way you do.  From a fellow big mouth this is the BLUNT deal:

You can continue to be lofty and pontificate but if you do it’s going to cost you. For example, I doubt your girlfriend marries your pompous ass, see? Why would she? Why would she want to spend her life being interrupted and listening to you preach?

Much better to humble yourself here and if you can’t see your own behavior then apply some faith because when the whole world is telling you something, they are rarely wrong.

You fix this by Saturn methods. First you take responsibility and then you make it right.

“I can’t tell when I am doing this but I want to stop. The next time I am rude and interrupt you, please tell me and I stop.”

And then follow through! That means when she starts to talk you keep your mouth SHUT and once you can manage that, try to actually listen and internalize what she is saying because if you can’t learn to do this she will probably leave you as will the next and the next and next and the next.

Try this: Let her talk FOR AN HOUR without offering anything more than, “I see” or ‘I understand”.

When she is done talking thank her for sharing and you are going to have a very happy fiance, plus you’ll be a much nicer person and probably smarter as well. Win, win, win, win, that’s how.

Good luck.

Any other big mouths out there?
click to see the chart full-size

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My Fiance Says I’m Rude – Double Sagittarius — 21 Comments

  1. Sometimes you need to hear it from someone who is as blunt as I am. Thank you for the advice.

    Quick question, how come in the chart my moon is in the 5th house? I thought it was in the 6th.

  2. Hi Elsa., a bigmouth here, being a sadge asc I can understand the double Sadge. On the other hand I cannot realize how she can keep his mouth shut. (mainly with merc over sadge!!!) That is an effort almost impossible for a sadge !!!! I can’t even with mercury-scorpio over 12 house. I cannot keep my mouth shut! There are some exceptions: some librian manners keep me in the edge. I suposse the lots of cap could help …with a huge effort (venus there, the love planet) Best luck for you double sadge

  3. gonna have to learn, cuz how would you like to be around someone who does not hear a word you say?

    I’ll never forget this Aries…yes, the stories were fascinating, but one time I was brushing my teeth in the middle of the story, and I left the room for a couple of minutes to, you know, spit and rinse….wow, this person went ballistico on me.

    I was like, “where did you want me to spit and rinse?” The person goes “There is a trash can right there; I do not like it when you walk out when I am in the middle of a story.”

  4. “I cannot realize how she can keep his mouth shut. (mainly with merc over sadge!!!)”

    Well Saturn transiting Mercury ruled Virgo in square to her natal Mercury is telling her she best buck up and if you read what her fiance is saying about her, it does not sound like she is kidding to me.

    This gal will be much happier if she gets the plot here. When you talk over everyone it is OBNOXIOUS. And like I said, if she wants to be OBNOXIOUS… if she can’t help but be OBNOXIOUS then that’s fine but it’s going to cost her…

  5. Ooooooh, so then is it in the 5th or the 6th house? I use astrodienst.com

    Crazy-Moon, I think I can keep my mouth shut, I just sometimes get in over my head. Sometimes I feel like what I have to say is just way more important than what everyone else has to say. I also feel like I need to be in control of a conversation and that’s not good because then it’s not even a conversation. Overall, it’s like Elsa said, you need to take responsibility and do something about it.

    I had written to Elsa before about my boss who is a Sag with a Mercury in Sadge who is literally the same way as me when it comes to communication. And you know what? I absolutely HATE the way she is so why do I want to continue behaving in such an obnoxious way? You don’t notice what you’re doing until you get a taste of your own medicine then you realize. WTH, I need to stop because I’m impossible to be around.

  6. No, I shun “big-mouths” like the plague. Can’t stand to be around them. If the person is genuinely nice, and has no idea how annoying they are, I try to tolerate it as long as I can. But I am just being truthful here, they make me cringe.

  7. Ha ha…yeah. I still remember when I met one of my dearest friends for the first time…it was at a party and I was with my girlfriend. This guy, her and I just started rollicking. If you can imagine 3 happy dogs meeting each other and playing in a park…well that was us. The people around us were a little astounded at the chemistry.

    Year later I started studying astrology and was not surprised that we are all Sag ASC. If we drink it is worse. Bawdy bawdy bawdy…
    Thing is, we understand and know when to shut our pie holes. And we like that we donèt have to with each other. We can just, you know, push each other in a snowbank or something. My boyfriend has Mars Mercury conjunct in Sagittarius and he is pretty quiet (due to his Scorpio and Capricorn) but he always wants to show me his teeth! I find that super gross.

  8. hi elsa, i’m just curious as to whether you use equal house system for all/most charts you draw, and also whether you sometimes use other house systems– is it based on the situation/circumstance or do you just feel more comfortable with the equal house system?

    also, if you exclusively use the equal house system for most of your charts, does that mean that you don’t factor in interceptions? ( because i have different house rulerships with the equal house system as if i use the default astro.com chart system I have an interception in my first house — Aquarius-Leo are engulfed by my 1st and 7th houses )

  9. Diana, the keywords here are: “Sometimes I feel like what I have to say is just way more important than what everyone else has to say. I also feel like I need to be in control of a conversation and that’s not good because then it’s not even a conversation.”

    Why do you think your words are more important than others? Figure that out and you’re halfway to a solution. Good luck to the altar.

    Signed,

    Ms. Sag Asc

  10. Hello everyone, I saw my comment jumped out to the hall of fame ha ha ha! I agree with you Elsa to take care of Saturn transits. Although each sign have to deal with a particular karma. With sadge particularly you feel you have to say your truth. You don´t understand why others people are so horrified, and obviously your thuth is the TRUTH (bold and uppercase – there is not other) I have seen an astro-research that shows sadges as the most prominents serial killers because may be the fanatic nature of the sign. The solution for me was to deflect the impulse to another time or ocassion. To keep it for me for 10 secons and another 10 seconds and so on, altough sooner or later that thing will go out of me. As a scorpio brother once told me, “do not tell you the story because you’re going to sweat it still with your mouth shut”

  11. I just told my boyfriend to stop being rude to me. He’s given me the silent treatment for 3 days now. “You want me to stop being rude to you? Fine, I’ll just completely stop talking to you at all!” his Aries Venus, Mars Libra.

  12. I remember this, but I have no clue why I didn’t say this the first time around…

    I have to disagree on the final advice. If someone listened, just listened, only offering “I see” or other “Hey, my ears are open” noises for a full hour, I’d walk out of there feeling like I wasn’t heard at all. When I’m having a conversation, it’s the give-and-take that lets me know the other person is actually listening and internalizing, and if they’ve got something ass-backwards it helps to correct it then than wait three days (or longer) until they bring it up again.
    That’s actually one of the things I hated most about my ex. I’d spend hours thinking of just the right way to get something across, pour all of my heart into it, and get an “Uh-huh” in response. WTF, man!!?? *lol* Give me something back!

    Than again, that’s just me, and your mileage may vary. Right? Riiiight. *grin*

  13. I consider myself a big mouth when I’m in a group of friends, but not in the sense seen here. I’m not patronizing, or think I own the truth. It’s more childlike, I try to entertain even though I’m not that funny… I feel people getting annoyed but I don’t care about them. I like surrounding myself with people like this too. I am a very serious person in general but when I’m around people I feel comfortable with, this other side of me comes out. I like the analogy of the happy dog. I suppose it’s due to my sun in the 5th and mars in the 3rd.

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