Musical Chairs Around The Zodiac

chairs“I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.”
–Dorothy Parker

I’m a Pisces. I’m also a Pisces Mercury and I tend to think in metaphor. So last night as I was chewing on my own last nerve and trying to lie perfectly still in front of the television I thought of what seemed like the perfect explanation of Pisces: it’s like it’s all a game of musical chairs and most of the time it’s me left standing! Now Pisces is a big partaker of self-pity but that doesn’t mean there’s not truth in it.

So I sat there and thought it out. Okay, there are 12 signs and only 11 chairs in the astrological party game of life. What is each sign thinking when the music stops and they get a chair?

Aries: “BOOYAH! I got a chair! YEAH! This is the most AWESOME chair because I got it first! Let’s go again! Hey, Pisces, look at my chair! That’s right sucka! Aw, shoot, why are you crying? You can have my chair.”

Taurus: “Whew, good thing I was marching between Aries and Gemini. They sat down so fast it left this seat open and was able to snag it. It’s not very comfortable though. Let’s go again so I can have a shot at the comfy chair I see Libra sitting in.”

Gemini: “Did you see that? Did you see that? I think I sprained my wrist but it was worth it; it was AWESOME! I was like all ::gestures-with-hands:: and then you went all ::mouth noise::. Can we have faster music this time?”

Cancer: “I like this chair, sturdy. I have one like it at home. This was fun but I think once was enough. I’d like to get back to finish up what I started earlier. I hope I didn’t leave the stove on…”

Leo: “What a great party! Look at all the swell folks here. You know, I had a party not so long ago. You weren’t there? Oh, you would have loved it! We had twice as many chairs and there was a band!”

Virgo: ::sits-quietly:: “You know I think if we moved the chairs a little further out into a bigger circle the game would be more exciting and people wouldn’t jostle each other so much.” ::sits-quietly:: “Are you sure they don’t need any help with the cake?”

Libra: “These are really nice chairs. Where did you get these chairs? Really? They look french. Go again? Gosh, I don’t know. I’m pretty comfortable here. What do you think?”

Scorpio: “They all wanted my chair, THIS chair, but I saw it right from the beginning and I KNEW if I just got the pace going a little faster I’d get to it in time.” ::sneaks-a-peak-at-Libra’s-legs::

Sagittarius: “All right! Let’s go again! That was great! Capricorn, if you could just pick up the pace a bit I wouldn’t be all up on you. I know, but Scorpio was stepping on my heels! Oh hell, who cares! Let’s do it again!”

Capricorn: “Listen, if you’d just go at one reasonable speed we could all have a good time. Just give it a try. I’m sure everyone would benefit. Did you see me knock into Aquarius? I’m not going any faster because you’re pushing.”

Aquarius: “Did you fall into me? Ooooh, I thought you were just all excited! This is a rush! But how about instead of just single file in a line we go across the circle. It might be a little confusing at first but lets shake things up!”

How do you feel when your sun sign is boiled down to a stereotype?

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Comments

Musical Chairs Around The Zodiac — 26 Comments

  1. I think it’s funny but my Virgo Uranus/Pluto generation Pisces friends will kick your ass and take your chair! 😉

  2. I’m not a frigid neat freak. Cleaning, hate to do it, and only do it for aesthetics. It’s not like oh-the-joy-of-dusting.

    And I’m no virgin!!! haha!! Just ask the scorpio ex bf’s. I lost my virginity repeatedly, and it was GREAT!!! 🙂 Every time is like the first time…:)

    As a side note, it’s been so long, I think i’m revirginized. That can happen with virgos, right? 🙂

  3. ROFLMAO Satori, that was absolutely hilarious to me!! As for how do I feel about the stereotype? As long as I’m able to see how it applies, I don’t mind (I know there’s more to me than just a sun). And yeah, I’m always thinking, “I hope I didn’t leave the oven on”. I also learned something about my cappy, “not going any faster because you’re pushing”. That’s a good one!
    Angie

  4. Hahahahahaha!!!!!! This is awesome, so funny and so true and I think I just peed my pants laughing, and Aries got the first chair, and Taurus is uncomfortable, and Cancer wants to go home, and I just peed a little more, and Leo’s planning another party, and Virgo is hatching a plan, and Libra CAN’T DECIDE, and Scorpio’s thinking about sexiness (mmmmmm, sexiness;-), and Sag wants to go AGAIN, and Cap is laying down the law, and where did I leave my phone?, and Aqua is taking the game to a whole other level, and Pisces? Pisces is stuck standing? 🙁 oh nooooo, Pisces is actually playing the game in an alternate dimension, so we just can’t SEE them;-) and how about if we maybe start a game of telephone after this?, or I could tell a story and then we’d could segue into charades, because OMG! you know how much I LOVE charades….
    -says the Gemini;-)

  5. Too funny, Sam. I could definitely relate to the Gemini stereotype in Satori’s wickedly funny story and Sam’s too.

  6. I usually blush cuz it’s awful close to true. I can’t believe Libra beat you out of a chair. I figured she’d be still trying to decide which one she wanted.

  7. Lol. But the Scorpio is right…that IS the chair that everyone else wanted…and don’t you forget it.

  8. LMAO! This was awesome! I know at least one person in each sign, and I swear this was dead on for each of them! Even Pisces! Poor Pisces. I’ll go look for another chair for you.

  9. I was like all ::gestures-with-hands:: and then you went all ::mouth noise::.

    *spits coffee*

    OMG you could have pulled the **noise** out of my mouth.

  10. Satori,
    I don’t often reply here, but I gotta tell you, I love your writing! I always read your stuff. Today’s peice really made me laugh.

  11. my virgo sun is shy, too shy to help the hostess in fact. but i will come up with ideas for efficiency and NOT suggest them 🙂

    leo was dead-on!

  12. Thanks for the welcome! Loved the “musical chairs”. Still laughing. I have Gemini Rising and found your description hilarious.

  13. Thanks for the welcome! Loved the “musical chairs”. Still laughing. I have Gemini Rising and found your description hilarious.

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