Morphing Reality, My Sense Of Self Worth… And Yours

I often think people on the blog are completely unreasonable. They are here because I have a personality and then they run into my personality and they freak.

I think the perception is very skewed when you can deny 15,000 post I have written and latch on to 1 or 2 or even 10 that stick in your craw because for some reason I stepped on your toe.Β  To me this is like focusing on a raindrop in a downpour, I don’t even know how it is managed.

When I have a day when many complain, it’s akin to the tide going out. I find myself washed up on the beach like an old boot, sitting there wondering what the hell. This happens several times a week.

It’s disorienting because invariably I am doing good work behind the scenes and sometimes even very good work so I find myself standing in a hall of mirrors and not loose my orientation.

Other days the tide comes back, sometimes with great force, like today.

I got a note from someone elegant today. I am supposed to be helping her but really she is helping me due her ability to discern what I am doing here.Β  She thinks she is a bad person having a bad day but I think she is a good person giving someone else a good day and that right there is Saturn Neptune in action. Edges?Β  What edges?

Who can relate?

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Comments

Morphing Reality, My Sense Of Self Worth… And Yours — 25 Comments

  1. Elsa ha ha! A bit off topic but in my culture ‘old boot’ is slang for an objectionable, aging, unattractive woman! I get called this a lot in jest and rather like it too. πŸ™‚

  2. I can in a way – though my experiences tend to be more internal because I work with and by myself, just me and the blank page and what happens there. But I can have that intense “whoa, I’m really onto something here – this is great!” followed by, “what happened here? What was I smoking when I wrote this and what IS it?” I.e. pretty large amounts of disgust and annoyance, but at myself. Going through that phase right now. I do know the tides turn though, so the key is to just stay the course however best I can. I have Saturn Pisces trine Neptune Scorpio and can see, at the moment, why I’m currently in this spot.

  3. Sometimes I have good days, sometimes I have bad days, the rest I live in denial. Moon in Pisces and Sag Neptune in 12th house.

    But when I do see some great advise posted here by you and others, I pass it to my friends and BANG they come of their lows and sometimes they forget my lows but when I do get one in return I light up like a over done Christmas tree.

  4. Yes, I can relate. It’s a rare person (and on a good day) who will stay connected to their own core, practice detachment and manage to generously serve others with compassion. I see this phenomenon occur every day on your blog, Elsa. That’s why I’m here and make it a point to check in most days.

  5. Completely agree with what Cherie said!!

    You are you, and you are brilliant, intelligent and giving …and if you turned away from yourself everytime someone threw a fit and cried wolf, and accomodated them by altering you messages ,opinions and life experiences…there would be nothing here to value.

    This place .You Elsa and your contributors is great.

    What is better than to be challenged when it comes to thinking..it makes u dive deep to understand what your opinions are based on, reevaluate them, and get rid of crap you carry around for no reason.

    I am very fixed , but I love it here , wether I agree with everything or not

  6. Completely agree with what Cherie said!!

    You are you, and you are brilliant, intelligent and giving …and if you turned away from yourself everytime someone threw a fit and cried wolf, and accomodated them by altering you messages ,opinions and life experiences…there would be nothing here to value.

    This place .You Elsa and your contributors is great.

    What is better than to be challenged when it comes to thinking..it makes u dive deep to understand what your opinions are based on, reevaluate them, and get rid of crap you carry around for no reason.

    I am very fixed , but I love it here , wether I agree with everything or not .

    I can relate too , my friends like me off and on. And it shit to deal with…Some weeks I have a social life ,others I don’t …most of the time I get alianated because of my opinions , I keep them to myself mostly, but if I am asked about it, or they want advise , witch reality do they want me to speak from. I know only mine. What I observe. My friend on the phone last night:
    I like you better when your quiet

  7. Thanks you guys. πŸ™‚ I swear I will spend the day focused on consultations by phone or email. These are very important communications – I’ve got to impart something of value in 30 short minutes and then come back and find someone has my head in pot, water boiling beneath it and I have ruined yet another person’s day.

    It’s not like I don’t know I have a mouth. I do know I have a mouth but if you took my mouth off, there would be no blog here and that is the part it seems should be hard to miss.

    The mouth has broadcast for TEN YEARS. Now what was that horror thing I did again?

    Yeah, that’s right – I can’t remember either.

    I have the best game in town here, never said it was the politest!!

  8. I relate but don’t have the worda at the moment to explain – I do have saturn/neptune opp though.

    I am sorry abt those complainers – grrrr —

    A phrase I took from you, “much love,” Elsa!

  9. I used to be able to keep my good sense about me, and an amiable personality, on bad days – even for those who had hurt me. It’s much tougher now, and I’m not sure why.

    This week has been wonderful for me, and it’s weeks like this when I wonder why I let things get to me so much (including wondering why I let people affect me so much that I was afraid of people, for a long time, and am still wary of making connections – I’d be fine once relaxed, only for the anxiety to come back full force. But that’s the nature of a phobia/disorder, I guess.)

  10. Theres no way u could ruin someones day in here… ive been reading all your posts since long ago… and i think they contribute to others… If your head is in a pot, water boiling, maybe the user want your juicy knowledge all for him/herself… i think thats selfish and i could take share myself.

  11. Oh Elsa can I relate. Prior to reading this I posted some home truths about my self and transiting Neptune in my first house opposing my Sun, Merc and Uranus. Can I ever relate, Elsa.

  12. Have to add my love and appreciation for what you are.. and do.. here on this blog and in a consult, Elsa. Lots of us here know your motives are pure… and are grateful for your insights given with honesty. Actually, I think your mars in Libra makes you more, not less, tactful, considering the nature of what some of us need to hear, on any given day. πŸ™‚

  13. Elsa, I’m grateful to have found you a few months ago. If I’m ever in the unlikely place of suddenly feeling offended on YOUR blog, I’ll share it in a considerate and diplomatic way, just as I’d want someone to do with me in my area of life.

    It goes with the territory…put oneself out there, speak from the heart or hip; suddenly someone’s offended and on the attack. You can’t win them all, and sometimes I have to remind myself that most people are happy with the job I do at work and in life. It’s also my choice to hold their hand and walk them through it, or wish them well and walk away.

  14. I totally get this. 12th house and Neptooooooon. What other people think they’re doing and the effect they actually have on me can be totally different.

    I just want to add your mouth is what keeps us all coming back! I love that you’re not always PC. I’d rather read something honest and shocking than something bland and politically correct.

  15. In the end, Elsa… you’ll get the last laugh! 10 more years from now, you’ll still be writing here and they will be off annoying someone else. Poop on ’em! Keep the mouth!

    I have a friend who is a professional coach/counselor for single women looking to find relationships. She calls me almost everyday… guess why? I’m a woman, who is happily married and don’t ‘need’ anything from her. She finds relief in our conversations, and it makes me feel good and all I have to do is listen. πŸ˜‰ Glad you found someone that can lift you the same way!

  16. “I think the perception is very skewed when you can deny 15,000 post I have written and latch on to 1 or 2 or even 10 that stick in your craw because for some reason I stepped on your toe. To me this is like focusing on a raindrop in a downpour, I don’t even know how it is managed.”

    I was actually thinking about this last night, in the shower of all places. (I do my best thinking — and singing — in the tub/shower.)

    We have a very disposable mentality in our culture, I think. Forget that someone has helped you or nurtured you or made you happy or whatever it is they did right the vast majority of the time; focus instead on “all” they do wrong or that you disagree with instead. Nevermind that the good outweighs the bad, toss ’em anyway.

    Seriously? WTF, man?

    It’s like in my relationship with the ex.
    I made a conscious decision to not join in the misery circles where people dissed their partners. Yeah, he may have thrown his socks on the floor instead of in the hamper and I might have had to break dishes to get him to realize I was serious about him cleaning the kitchen, but, all-in-all, I had it pretty damned good and I wanted to honor that instead of focusing on what I thought his flaws were. And ya know whut? (No, not chicken butt. πŸ˜› ) I found that by doing that I was actually happier, both in my relationship and in general.

    Seems like a fair trade to me. πŸ™‚

  17. SaDiablo, I think people who do that are miserable and destined to stay that way because everyone, everywhere is going to let you down at some point.

    We’re humans down here… thankfully.

  18. quite honestly, you are direct and no mistaking what you are saying, that’s a good quality! Thing about honesty is that the truth isnt always nice! Its your blog, your house, your house rules and you lead the example as hostess as to how people behave in your house. If folks arent willing to heed your rules and respect how things are done in your house, well quite simply, they shouldnt bother to visit and perhaps need to look at why they are reacting…just my opinion for what its worth πŸ˜‰

  19. Beautiful Elsa. I have Neptune/Saturn wrapped up with my venus and mars and you taught me this and it has never left me. Tide in and Tide out, now I just keep the faith and ride the wave baby. Thankyou for this <3 πŸ™‚

  20. yeah, the mars mercury is definitely part of the appeal.
    if one has the stomach and flexibility to appreciate getting shocked from time to time, often by shadow…?

  21. Elsa it sounds to me like the people who pick you apart for one post out of 15,000 really don’t have their priorities straight. Frankly, I can live with those odds/numbers any day. More importantly, these people need to take more ownership of their life/emotions I mean God forbid something really bad is said outside of a blog.

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