Distinguishing “Need” From “Like”: The Moon Vs. Venus

frosted donut“My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
–Roseanne Barr

Something Sam said on my earlier post, Moon Square Venus, prompted me to make a distinction between moon and Venus energies. What you want can be divided into two categories, like and need. The moon placement signifies your nature in terms of need. What you need is what satisfies. Venus placement speaks of what you like, what is aesthetically pleasing. As my moon squares my Venus, what I need does not necessarily appeal to me in terms of what I like. What I like is not necessarily emotionally satisfying.

I can “want” something based on either one of these positions. I can want something because it appeals to my Venus, because I like it. I can want something because it appeals to my moon, because I need it, because I feel (moon) it will satisfy. So Venus desires are based on aesthetic appeal while moon desires stem from a craving from the emotional body.

It’s my opinion that moon desires trump those of Venus. Ideally one learns to somehow address both, but given a choice, I’m much happier overall having satisfied my moon. Although, I’d really like to live on a diet of doughnuts and cheeseburgers, into each life a little broccoli must fall.

What do you NEED, and where is your moon? What do you LIKE, and where is your Venus?

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Distinguishing “Need” From “Like”: The Moon Vs. Venus — 107 Comments

  1. Libra/Moon, Aries/Venus.
    Need partner and mate and beautiful stable homebase – Want to keep things exciting, passionate, and let you know that’s what I want!
    By experience, they don’t go so well together. Libra Moon gets left in the dust without her deepest needs met because Aries Venus is so determined to move to fast and forceful! Libra Moon gets denied her deepest needs for the delicate, loving, caring, partnership that is as important as water and air to her. Its mostly very painful.

    The luckily side is the existence of Aquarius Mercury that can step in every so often and logically discern the facts to appreciate what does exist in the now and be grateful for the vibrant life that can be lived as it is (partner-less and soulmate-less, but luckily not alone with amazing friends and family).

    • Same here, except i’m an aries mercury. I long for a partner but i want to be independent all at once, its just so hard for it all to stick :/

  2. Sagittarius Moon & Mars, Pisces Venus.

    Both signs are idealistic and love their freedom. My Cap Sun doesn’t like to waste time, so I usually end up leaving (sag moon) people who just don’t “feel” (pisces venus) compatible. But once I fall in love, really fall in love, I will gloss over everything and live in fantasy land (pisces venus). Basically turn into a doormat. Or if they *really* mistreat me or take me for granted, then I will force myself to leave (sag moon) but will be extremely devastated and broken inside (pisces venus). My pisces side loves unconditionally and will stay no matter what. Luckily my sag moon doesn’t like to be a “downer” for too long and will force separation given enough reasons.

    I could be happy either way. If I’m single then I have tons of freedom and can do anything I want (sag moon). But nothing beats the closeness and tenderness that comes with being in love. When my venus is being satisfied, I feel like I’m floating on water and everything is incredibly beautiful and surreal. When my Sag is being satisfied, its more of a chummy, “hell-yeah I can do whatever I want” feeling. Doesn’t compare to the high’s my venus gives me.

    So I prefer feeling my venus pisces. The only thing I love about my Sag moon is the ability to bounce back from the many hurts that follow my venus.

    Still learning to work with the 2 energies..

    • I have the exact same placements. cap sun moon in sag and Venus in Pisces so I feel exactly the same as you describe!! The only difference is that I don’t leave maybe because of my mars in Cancer?

  3. Moon in taurus 8th house and venus in virgo in the 12th house. Basic I need and want security and depth in relationships and until today I’ve never found in any kind of relationships. I’m much more intense and emotional person than most people I knew, but I’ve only realized that recently.

  4. I need mental stimulation because my Moon is in Gemini in the 5th H. I like the darker side of things with my Venus in Scorpio in my 10th H.

    So, I am drawn to powerful, dark [Venus in Scorpio] things that stimulate my mind [Moon in Gemini].

  5. Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, mercury scorpio, Venus scorpio, Mars Gemini
    🙂 my moon works well with my Venus!! Although I spend a lot of time dreaming about my soulmate :p I’m very intense and empathetic!! Love to hear people’s story’s and what they have been through, and try to relate.. Love astrology and anything after life!! I tell you one thing scorpios looooove power!! Kinda makes me sick though.. Thanks to my Pisces moon!! Always brings me back and shows me that loving yourself and everyone is the way to true fulfilment 😉 not to have power over them (although in bed I can make an exception ;))

  6. Funny, I have a Libra Venus and not only do I know what I like, I have a list on my computer so I can try to incorporate as many of these things in my life as possible. Little reminders!

    But my Pisces moon- which trines my Venus and Scorp sun- is still a mystery at my ripe old age of 49. I really don’t have any idea what I need. I can tell you based on my feelings that in general, I don’t get what I need and I’m not sure that I ever really have. I know that the generic advice is to give yourself what you need, and not depend on other people to give you this. Honestly this has never made sense to me. You can’t give yourself what other people give you. Maybe that’s another post. But anyway, I really have a hard time with this because if I don’t know what I need, I don’t know how to go about getting it fulfilled. Does anyone have any advice about this?

    • No, but I feel the same. I know what I like — Taurus Venus in 4th — but for several years I’ve deprived myself of it in a quest for greater security and less stress, still searching. Was it due to my Virgo Moon in 8th’s needs, whatever they are?

  7. They’re in the same sign. I need a down comforter. I notice that like a Taurus that is happy when their food is good, I’m uncomfortable and angry and start acting out when I’m cold or uncomfortable.
    I also need my home to be to my specifications. I feel like if I had to live with others in a weird arrangement id either never be home or tear around like taz. Lately I compare myself to the Tasmanian devil. Knocking into walls looking for comfort or escape. Bothering people
    I see everything as a struggle for control

  8. At work I act out because there are no walls or partitions. I demand intimacy from this kid who has a Scorpio moon. He is fine with everything that makes me so uncomfortable. Other things bother him

  9. What about a woman’s Venus in Virgo and Moon in Sagittarius? I hear Venus in Virgo is very practical in terms of love, and is extremely devoted and loyal. But doesn’t the Moon in Sagittarius crave freedom? This seems like a conflicting combination.

  10. Moon in Scorpio sextile Venus in Capricorn. Someone who requires a very active sex life and financial security to feel truly alive.

  11. Moon in Scorpio in the 4th (hate it by the way)/Venus in Leo in the 1st. To top it off, they square each other.

    Moon needs to dive into the depths of the freaking ocean for endless emotional bonding, locking hands for better or worse. While Venus refuses to move her heels if the man won’t even consider kissing her feet with adoration. Her in the 1st house really drives ‘self.’ I love her for it!

    I’ve been in one relationship where moon got what she needed while Venus got minor attention. I’ve been in another where Venus was a happy women, and moon was so depressive and drove the relationship into demise. I walked away without much emotional connectivity in this one.

    Because I’m a lot more aware, I’m really trying to find a way to balance the two. I know that they have to co-exist in order to commit long-term. Advise please!

  12. I NEED a fulfilling relationship with an emotionally mature person. I LIKE trifling f*ckboys with too many tattoos.

  13. Need emotional space and freedom to think (Moon in Gemini)
    Want intellectually stimulating relationships (Venus in Gemini)

  14. 1H Pisces Moon widely opposes my 7H Virgo Venus – I parse (Pallas Athene directly opposes my Moon) my wants (Venus) from my pie-in-the-sky (Pisces) desires (Moon). Practicality (Virgo) usually wins.

  15. With my Moon in Gemini I need mental stimulation and with my Venus in Scorpio, I LOVE depth and intensity. So, I guess I want to be intensely mentally stimulated. Haha.

  16. Want/Need time to emotionally check out and disengage from the world in order to recharge. Pisces moon H8.

    For needs, I also look at the IC- mine is in Scorpio conjunct Saturn. I need structure and stability. My IC modern ruler Pluto is conjunct Saturn.

    Want/like spontaneity (Aries Venus) and diversity/exploration/philosophy /belief (H9) etc.

    For likes, I also look at my 7th house. Mine is in Aqua- ruler Uranus- I really love eccentricity and abrupt quirky humor and mannerisms mixed with joviality…it’s mostly what I’m strongly attracted to in others. Uranus/Jupiter conj. in my chart in Sag.

  17. Moon in Scorpio. I need intensity. I need privacy. I need financial security. I need rest!

    Venus in Virgo. I like clean environments. I like people with healthy skin. I like austerity and simplicity. I like perfection:) I like things that imply health.

    Those two are sextile in my chart. It’s the closest aspect in my chart. I don’t have to choose very often between the two, if ever? It’s comfortable:)

  18. I want a report on my Venus for the next 5 years. Sexual intimacy has been fruitful for me mostly. My Moon is in the 12th H with Sun and Mercury. Venus in the Asc in Virgo.
    My body craves satisfaction. I achieve my focus only when satisfied. I can enjoy life when my thirst is satiated.

  19. Pisces moon in the 6th doesn’t sound like I need money but that’s probably my biggest thing. Now my Libra Venus conj Scorp sun in the 2nd seems like oh then money is a like but I would rest soooo easy if I had a bunch of money. My soul is all twisted about this. I invite all the people who live on sunsets and the perfect cup of tea to send me their excess cash. 😀

  20. Gemini sun
    Moon Aquarius
    Venus in Taurus
    Needs freedom but security too
    Wants a consistent connection but can’t be smothered
    Have to find balance somehow 🙁

    • Like so many here you sound like one trying to justify your situation through astrology. Apparently you don’t feel right where you are, your career, or who you are with. Don’t kid yourself and waste your life it goes by quickly enough without knowing you aren’t in the right situation. Do what is best for you. You won’t find your answers in the stars, you already know the answer.

  21. This just means you need a partner that understands this and balances you. For example Pisces moon would be perfect as they can understand both need for solitude and togetherness.

  22. I have aries venus in my 4th house conjunct Jupiter and moon in virgo in the 9th house (square). My moon feels most satisfied with routine,feeling useful and needed in relationships. Alot of togetherness and learning from each other. On the contrary my venus wants space one minute and then wants to destroy my partner in bed…. A full bag of confusion over here

    • How about doing meditation, but also doing a boxing class once a week? Or doing kickboxing tapes at home? Also I feel like learning a foreign language would be nice..

      • I have a 6th house moon and meditation is part of my daily routine. Can use the headspace app or insight timer app, they are free. Aries obv enjoys a challenge, goal setting, fighting for causes, can fit that in daily too.

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