Distinguishing “Need” From “Like”: The Moon Vs. Venus

frosted donutβ€œMy husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.”
–Roseanne Barr

Something Sam said on my earlier post, Moon Square Venus, prompted me to make a distinction between moon and Venus energies. What you want can be divided into two categories, like and need. The moon placement signifies your nature in terms of need. What you need is what satisfies. Venus placement speaks of what you like, what is aesthetically pleasing. As my moon squares my Venus, what I need does not necessarily appeal to me in terms of what I like. What I like is not necessarily emotionally satisfying.

I can “want” something based on either one of these positions. I can want something because it appeals to my Venus, because I like it. I can want something because it appeals to my moon, because I need it, because I feel (moon) it will satisfy. So Venus desires are based on aesthetic appeal while moon desires stem from a craving from the emotional body.

It’s my opinion that moon desires trump those of Venus. Ideally one learns to somehow address both, but given a choice, I’m much happier overall having satisfied my moon. Although, I’d really like to live on a diet of doughnuts and cheeseburgers, into each life a little broccoli must fall.

What do you NEED, and where is your moon? What do you LIKE, and where is your Venus?

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Distinguishing “Need” From “Like”: The Moon Vs. Venus — 107 Comments

  1. Aqua moon, Venus Cap. I need freedom, I like stability.

    Its kind of a rocky patch, reconciling the difference is always very interesting, which I suppose ultimately appeals to my moon. Hmm never looked at it that way before…I like that! Aqua’s pretty familiar with Saturn anyway, so not much to complain about to begin with I reckon.

  2. This is really struck a chord… I just realized that I tend to ignore what I need, (moon in scorpio) for what I want (venus in aries) and hence why I never finish anything… whether it’s cleaning or other activities I dislike…

  3. Sag moon wants freedom, Venus in Taurus wants security.

    Yeah, so THAT GOES WELL. I don’t think you can have freedom without having money, which equals security in a sense, so… I kick my moon in the nuts a lot and tell it to shut the hell up. If it wants the freeeeeeeedom to be able to afford all the books it wants, it’d better shut up and let the Taurus side provide, even if shackles are involved.

  4. Moon in Cancer
    Venus in Taurus

    Work well together actually.

    Need to be alone a lot and have comforts around me…food etc.

    Want affection and nice clothes and comfortable things

    • Hi Barb, I liked this post as most of Satori’s insights. Thought I’d comment to you I’m your mirror image on this, Taurus Moon and Venus Cancer. Need security and creature comforts and want a well stocked cave to retreat to. Work well indeed. However, this is only aportion of the chart ! For me, with my Gemini Sun/Virgo Asc. ruler, Mercury, exactly conjunct that moon, I crave mental stimulation as well !

  5. Satori, this post is the ‘golden key’ for me. I’m so grateful for all I’ve learned from this site, but this one really stands out for me.

    My Aries Venus is inconjunct my Scorpio Moon. As I’ve learned to understand this aspect, is an ‘either’ / ‘or’ kind of thing, which can usually be really hard, but in this case, it’s actually the only way it can be accomplished.

    My Aries Venus (being heated up by my Aries Sun) loves people! It isn’t shy and wants to be out and about… My Scorpio Moon on the other hand needs solitude and time to brood. That’s an either/or scenerio, right?! Just try to be Sunny and Brooding at the same time and you’ll see what I mean.

    Before learning this, I exhausted my Moon by only living my Sun. Now, I’ve gotten the know how to balance them both, giving each their time, and I’m golden.

  6. That’s a smart post, helps me to understand my Moon in Pisces square Venus in Sagittarius in 7th daughter in particular, bless her, party animal with a leaning to escapology..every year she got over excited about birthday party time, then wanted to leave the party before anyone else, except it was her party of choice. Now of course she’s an adult and she has a glass of wine and stays to the end and then some! Thanks Satori!

  7. Tuarus Moon – needs sensuality and self-indulgence, and wasn’t always too picky where that came from, so long as it (and I!) came… Cap Venus conj Sun wants good looking men – and security, emotional support, and a load of other quite self-contradictory things.

    I might have learned to reconcile them if I’d got more into astrology when I was young enough [sigh]. I followed my Moon as the expense of my Venus, and paid the price

  8. Venus and Moon closely conjunct in Gemini–but squared by Pluto in 12th house. I like and want sparkly conversation, quick trips through the city, an interesting social life, lots of personal freedom…but I need to spend a lot of time alone in order to recover. And shallow conversations annoy me no end–I need depth and prefer to talk one-on-one in the shadows of the room as opposed to being the center of attention within a group of people. I have to attend a lot of social events due to my career, but I arrive early, and leave without fanfare. I have Libra rising so people appear to forgive my anti-social tendencies.

  9. Moon in Pisces
    Venus in Virgo

    My moon NEEDS emotional boundaries and wants support in imaginative endeavors and creativity

    My Venus..likes safety and appreciation and feeling needed

    hmm..

  10. Ahhh… those pesky Quincunx’s (aka: Inconjunct)(150-degrees).

    They act somewhat like a Square / Opposition combination…. far enough away to feel an “imbalance” , but not close enough to trigger the “tension” a full-Square provides.

    My Aries Jupiter quincunx’s my Virgo Pluto. This Virgo / Aries energy is “Antiscia” each other…. meaning they are “Equally Powerful”. Like an arm wrestler competition : it’s going to take time before either one decides to give in.

    Carie’s Aries Venus / Scorpio Moon have an easier situation : Aries & Scorpio have a common ruler…. Mars. So any planet in Aries & Scorpio will “Look to” Mars to solve disputes.

    ‘course this depends on how “strong” Mars current placement : Mars in Cancer will be a nagging “Mom”…. Mars in Sagittarius will be the “don’t bug me”.

    Oh… sorry to have “hijacked” this thread.

    • @glenn on antisica. That’s a really awesome description of antisica. I always wondered about that too. The mirrored images of eachother, like that of aries/virgo. pisces/libra, scorpio/aquarius, cap/sag, cancer/Gemini ect.

  11. I’m the opposite of jerriattricks. Capricorn Moon, Aquarius Venus. Need stability, like freedom. The upside of my chart is that my moon is in the 9th house and my Venus is in the 10th so maybe they kinda of balance each other?

  12. Similar to CarRie, my Aqua Venus wants to be in groups of interesting people, thinks it fun, functions really well in groups, +Merc in Aquarius better expresses itself in a group setting, or with a group listening/providing different and varying feedback.

    Scorp Moon is highly private, needs to be alone to process, is simply overwhelmed by all the energies each in the group puts out..

    I too have that square. I’ve appreciated this series, Satori

    • I have the same placement! And like you my moon wins by a long shot. As a grow older i seem to be ignoring my want more. Life seems to put it that way too.

    • I have this square placement on exact orb with an Aries ascendant which means my Venus in Taurus is in the second house and Aquarius moon in the eleventh house. Im 25, I still don’t know how to manage it. Usually it’s so complex that I give up on trying. My moon doesn’t want to be possessive but my Venus feels like I need to value myself and any hint of instability frightens me. It really sucks, cause I end up giving up on love because my Venus side is so afraid of my moons open minded stance.

  13. Ahhhh…It’s starting to make more sense now!!!! I think my Pisces Moon needs an intense emotional/psychic connection (to feel satisfied) and my Taurus Venus thinks it would be super if he resembled Johnny Depp….although it’s not a deal-breaker if he doesn’t. Oh, but it would be SOOOOOO nice if he did!!!!

    My Venus is also conj Mars by less than a degree and conj Chiron by 2 degrees AND conj my ASC by 3 degrees. All in the 12th. So…..actually, I want Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Leo DiCaprio and Edward Norton;-) Oh, and it opposes Uranus so throw in Vincent Cassel too!!!!! Hahahahaha!!!!!!

  14. Moon in Capricorn, Venus in Scorpio. They are both in signs of their detriment. But that makes them fairly compatible too, I think. These are both considered “dark”, more serious sign. I like things Scorpio deep. I need them Capricorn secured. It’s only the “rowdy” side of Scorpio Venus – I’d very much like that tall, dark danger who’d have an instant understanding of my emotional, intellectual and physical needs – that could get slightly troublesome at times. But yes, “The Cathedral Builder” Cappy Moon in the 5th house always trumps over that. Hard work is what produces the best results in love too, ultimately.

  15. Mine are in opposite signs. Moon n Scorpio, Venus in Taurus. But I think they work well together. Scorp Moon needs emotional security, it wants to be able to trust people and have deep, meaningful relationships. Taurus Venus wants pretty stuff, harmony in my surroundings, food and warmth. I am sure that with the right person, these two can work together rather well.

    • Mines the same moon in scorpio venus in taurus and I want to feel wanted. I like affection and closeness. I need to be able to trust to completely open up to people. Once I ttrust you you’re in there forever:)

  16. @ Sam “I think my Pisces Moon needs an intense emotional/psychic connection”
    OOOOH YES YES YES..Fellow Pisces Moon..I hear that! Thanks for bringing it out!
    and you can have those..reluctantly releases grip on Johnny Depp..but I’m keeping Hugh Jackman and Gerrard Butler πŸ™‚

  17. Moon trine Venus.
    I need to feel needed and useful. To soothe and help others in almost any capacity.(10th House Virgo Moon at 0 degrees).
    Venus in Capricorn:
    I want serious stuff in a relationship, quality stuff in my home and enjoy working along side a partner. I don’t waste my emotions on trivial or flirtatious relationships.

  18. @Josi: Hahahahahaha!!!!! Well, ok…..as long as I can still have Johnny!!!! πŸ˜‰ I’ve been in LOVE with him since 21 Jump Street!!! and his b-day is the day after mine;-)

  19. Moon in Virgo likes order and safe routines.

    But Venus in Aquarius likes the offbeat, unpredictable, and exciting. The stuff I’ll never get if I stick to my little routines.

  20. I need status and security to have the freedom i want, i.e. I must work to have the resources needed to retire and travel. Cap moon, venus in Sag!

  21. Moon in Gemini
    Venus in Scorpio

    Moon in Gemini needs conversation, intellectual stimulation, travelling, variety

    Venus in Scorpio likes deep, intense passionate connection.

    These two don’t even talk to each other! There’s no aspect at all, none- not an inconjunct, not a quintile or whatever…

    They coexist, I suppose. If the Gemini gets its chatty discussion and philosophical ramblings with a deep passionate intense interchange, then I guess they’re both happy.

  22. Moon in Gemini semi-square Venus in Leo:

    that Moon needs to go out and talk to everyone;
    this Venus wants to stay in one place and have everyone else come up and pay attention to her.

  23. Moon Fifth house in Cancer and Venus in Pisces First house.. my moon needs comfort, security, love,depth, romance and venus in pisces needs space, no wait love, no wait space, oh i love you for all your issues and all ..oh let me just go into my shell and figure out how to fix this all lol

  24. Capricorn Moon in the 7th and Taurus Venus in the 11th…I need close partnerships that give me stability, but I like solid relationships that give me the freedom to come and go.

  25. this always confuses me because I have a late Scorpio Venus and an early Sag Moon. So it’s an out of sign conjunction. The likes and needs of Sag and Scorpio couldn’t be more different. How should I interpret this? Does the conjunction not even come into play then and I should just look to fulfill my Sag Moon? If I could find a super late degree scorpio with some sag planets maybe that would hit my sweet spot.

  26. Moon in Gemini needs a constant flow of information (truetruetrue!) Venus on the point of Aries wants to be the leader

  27. Gemini moon- wants freedom, time alone often, likes to disappear, deep/ constantly thinking.

    Taurus venus- wants to trust, wants love but with a slow approach.

  28. Ugh… My moon in pisces wants deep bonding, trancedental experience, wants to nurture and heal,…

    My Venus in Aries wants thrils, fireworks, passion, intensity,……but my venus is also in a trine with Saturn, so she’s ever so cautious , perhaps a lil too much. This energy can be exhausting. Even I don’t understand it sometimes.

  29. My Moon is in Virgo and my Venus is in Libra. The planets are in mutual reception by house, if that exists (Moon in 2nd, Venus in 4th). My Moon needs industry, discrimination, organization, cleanliness, my Venus needs harmony, relationships, socializing. There’s no aspect between them in my chart, but the signs are semi-sextile, and I like to think that even though Libra is a bit too lazy for Virgo’s liking, if I honor my Moon, I get to have my Venus. Having a neat home, for instance, means I get to have people over!

  30. Moon in Capricorn/1st squares Venus in Aries/4th. Moon needs emotional stability. Venus needs passion. Is this why I am engaged to a man with a 10th House Leo Stellium?? πŸ˜€

  31. I’m Saggi sun/Scorpio moon.. and I’m trying to work out how to please her..
    She’s Scorpio sun/Saggi moon
    We are opposites..
    So do we balance or destroy each other?

    I’m an earth dragon, and she’s an earth goat.

  32. Hi!

    I’m a female moon in Pisces and Venus in Cancer (sun in Gemini). Does this mean that my emotional needs and desires are pretty much the same, as they are both water signs? I’m not very familiar with how the moon-venus placements work together for women (for men I know that the Venus sign symbolizes what he’s attracted to or desires, whereas the moon is where his comfort lies and the type of woman he will most likely marry).

    Also, I’m dating a man with moon in Aries, Venus in Scorpio (sun in sag). How does his impatient nature go with his intense love style?

    • welcome TJ! I wouldn’t say the same, but definitely complimentary. These sound like great questions to ask on the boards (the Forum link on the top of the page)!

  33. Taurus moon and venus in Taurus, that is me.
    But that can get weird. For instance, my venus in Taurus loves very handsome men but they are not always able to give me the emotional stability I need. That is because my mars is in Pisces and that can be attracted to alcoholic or drug addicted men. Need to shift that to a spiritual man who is not looking for a high in a bottle, or looking for a high in general. Someone with a grounded spirituality would suit me. That means I must do my inner work releasing the blocks to feeling my feelings and respecting them. My moon is in the 12 th house so this makes knowing what I am feeling hard but not impossible. This will allow me to value myself and my needs i.e Honoring my moon.

  34. My emotional body craves peace, equanimity and idealism. My Venus likes intelligence, intellectual stimulation and discretion. My Moon is in a Mercury-ruled House, though, so they “understand” each other.

    Venus in Virgo, Moon in Libra.

  35. Aries moon and Venus in Scorpio bitches! ahahaha lol I need a warrior environment, I need action and plenty of conflict. I like the dark side of things, like the occult, mysteries and beautiful, sexy women. I want a deep and passionate love but I need it quick! both of these signs are ruled by Mars, god of war. That explains why I don’t take bullshit from anybody or you’ll get your ass kicked in by the point of my boot.

  36. Libra/Moon, Aries/Venus.
    Need partner and mate and beautiful stable homebase – Want to keep things exciting, passionate, and let you know that’s what I want!
    By experience, they don’t go so well together. Libra Moon gets left in the dust without her deepest needs met because Aries Venus is so determined to move to fast and forceful! Libra Moon gets denied her deepest needs for the delicate, loving, caring, partnership that is as important as water and air to her. Its mostly very painful.

    The luckily side is the existence of Aquarius Mercury that can step in every so often and logically discern the facts to appreciate what does exist in the now and be grateful for the vibrant life that can be lived as it is (partner-less and soulmate-less, but luckily not alone with amazing friends and family).

    • Same here, except i’m an aries mercury. I long for a partner but i want to be independent all at once, its just so hard for it all to stick :/

  37. Sagittarius Moon & Mars, Pisces Venus.

    Both signs are idealistic and love their freedom. My Cap Sun doesn’t like to waste time, so I usually end up leaving (sag moon) people who just don’t “feel” (pisces venus) compatible. But once I fall in love, really fall in love, I will gloss over everything and live in fantasy land (pisces venus). Basically turn into a doormat. Or if they *really* mistreat me or take me for granted, then I will force myself to leave (sag moon) but will be extremely devastated and broken inside (pisces venus). My pisces side loves unconditionally and will stay no matter what. Luckily my sag moon doesn’t like to be a “downer” for too long and will force separation given enough reasons.

    I could be happy either way. If I’m single then I have tons of freedom and can do anything I want (sag moon). But nothing beats the closeness and tenderness that comes with being in love. When my venus is being satisfied, I feel like I’m floating on water and everything is incredibly beautiful and surreal. When my Sag is being satisfied, its more of a chummy, “hell-yeah I can do whatever I want” feeling. Doesn’t compare to the high’s my venus gives me.

    So I prefer feeling my venus pisces. The only thing I love about my Sag moon is the ability to bounce back from the many hurts that follow my venus.

    Still learning to work with the 2 energies..

    • I have the exact same placements. cap sun moon in sag and Venus in Pisces so I feel exactly the same as you describe!! The only difference is that I don’t leave maybe because of my mars in Cancer?

  38. Moon in taurus 8th house and venus in virgo in the 12th house. Basic I need and want security and depth in relationships and until today I’ve never found in any kind of relationships. I’m much more intense and emotional person than most people I knew, but I’ve only realized that recently.

  39. I need mental stimulation because my Moon is in Gemini in the 5th H. I like the darker side of things with my Venus in Scorpio in my 10th H.

    So, I am drawn to powerful, dark [Venus in Scorpio] things that stimulate my mind [Moon in Gemini].

  40. Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, mercury scorpio, Venus scorpio, Mars Gemini
    πŸ™‚ my moon works well with my Venus!! Although I spend a lot of time dreaming about my soulmate :p I’m very intense and empathetic!! Love to hear people’s story’s and what they have been through, and try to relate.. Love astrology and anything after life!! I tell you one thing scorpios looooove power!! Kinda makes me sick though.. Thanks to my Pisces moon!! Always brings me back and shows me that loving yourself and everyone is the way to true fulfilment πŸ˜‰ not to have power over them (although in bed I can make an exception ;))

  41. Funny, I have a Libra Venus and not only do I know what I like, I have a list on my computer so I can try to incorporate as many of these things in my life as possible. Little reminders!

    But my Pisces moon- which trines my Venus and Scorp sun- is still a mystery at my ripe old age of 49. I really don’t have any idea what I need. I can tell you based on my feelings that in general, I don’t get what I need and I’m not sure that I ever really have. I know that the generic advice is to give yourself what you need, and not depend on other people to give you this. Honestly this has never made sense to me. You can’t give yourself what other people give you. Maybe that’s another post. But anyway, I really have a hard time with this because if I don’t know what I need, I don’t know how to go about getting it fulfilled. Does anyone have any advice about this?

    • No, but I feel the same. I know what I like — Taurus Venus in 4th — but for several years I’ve deprived myself of it in a quest for greater security and less stress, still searching. Was it due to my Virgo Moon in 8th’s needs, whatever they are?

  42. They’re in the same sign. I need a down comforter. I notice that like a Taurus that is happy when their food is good, I’m uncomfortable and angry and start acting out when I’m cold or uncomfortable.
    I also need my home to be to my specifications. I feel like if I had to live with others in a weird arrangement id either never be home or tear around like taz. Lately I compare myself to the Tasmanian devil. Knocking into walls looking for comfort or escape. Bothering people
    I see everything as a struggle for control

  43. At work I act out because there are no walls or partitions. I demand intimacy from this kid who has a Scorpio moon. He is fine with everything that makes me so uncomfortable. Other things bother him

  44. What about a woman’s Venus in Virgo and Moon in Sagittarius? I hear Venus in Virgo is very practical in terms of love, and is extremely devoted and loyal. But doesn’t the Moon in Sagittarius crave freedom? This seems like a conflicting combination.

  45. Moon in Scorpio in the 4th (hate it by the way)/Venus in Leo in the 1st. To top it off, they square each other.

    Moon needs to dive into the depths of the freaking ocean for endless emotional bonding, locking hands for better or worse. While Venus refuses to move her heels if the man won’t even consider kissing her feet with adoration. Her in the 1st house really drives ‘self.’ I love her for it!

    I’ve been in one relationship where moon got what she needed while Venus got minor attention. I’ve been in another where Venus was a happy women, and moon was so depressive and drove the relationship into demise. I walked away without much emotional connectivity in this one.

    Because I’m a lot more aware, I’m really trying to find a way to balance the two. I know that they have to co-exist in order to commit long-term. Advise please!

  46. I NEED a fulfilling relationship with an emotionally mature person. I LIKE trifling f*ckboys with too many tattoos.

  47. Need emotional space and freedom to think (Moon in Gemini)
    Want intellectually stimulating relationships (Venus in Gemini)

  48. 1H Pisces Moon widely opposes my 7H Virgo Venus – I parse (Pallas Athene directly opposes my Moon) my wants (Venus) from my pie-in-the-sky (Pisces) desires (Moon). Practicality (Virgo) usually wins.

  49. With my Moon in Gemini I need mental stimulation and with my Venus in Scorpio, I LOVE depth and intensity. So, I guess I want to be intensely mentally stimulated. Haha.

  50. Want/Need time to emotionally check out and disengage from the world in order to recharge. Pisces moon H8.

    For needs, I also look at the IC- mine is in Scorpio conjunct Saturn. I need structure and stability. My IC modern ruler Pluto is conjunct Saturn.

    Want/like spontaneity (Aries Venus) and diversity/exploration/philosophy /belief (H9) etc.

    For likes, I also look at my 7th house. Mine is in Aqua- ruler Uranus- I really love eccentricity and abrupt quirky humor and mannerisms mixed with joviality…it’s mostly what I’m strongly attracted to in others. Uranus/Jupiter conj. in my chart in Sag.

  51. Moon in Scorpio. I need intensity. I need privacy. I need financial security. I need rest!

    Venus in Virgo. I like clean environments. I like people with healthy skin. I like austerity and simplicity. I like perfection:) I like things that imply health.

    Those two are sextile in my chart. It’s the closest aspect in my chart. I don’t have to choose very often between the two, if ever? It’s comfortable:)

  52. I want a report on my Venus for the next 5 years. Sexual intimacy has been fruitful for me mostly. My Moon is in the 12th H with Sun and Mercury. Venus in the Asc in Virgo.
    My body craves satisfaction. I achieve my focus only when satisfied. I can enjoy life when my thirst is satiated.

  53. Pisces moon in the 6th doesn’t sound like I need money but that’s probably my biggest thing. Now my Libra Venus conj Scorp sun in the 2nd seems like oh then money is a like but I would rest soooo easy if I had a bunch of money. My soul is all twisted about this. I invite all the people who live on sunsets and the perfect cup of tea to send me their excess cash. πŸ˜€

  54. Gemini sun
    Moon Aquarius
    Venus in Taurus
    Needs freedom but security too
    Wants a consistent connection but can’t be smothered
    Have to find balance somehow πŸ™

    • Like so many here you sound like one trying to justify your situation through astrology. Apparently you don’t feel right where you are, your career, or who you are with. Don’t kid yourself and waste your life it goes by quickly enough without knowing you aren’t in the right situation. Do what is best for you. You won’t find your answers in the stars, you already know the answer.

  55. This just means you need a partner that understands this and balances you. For example Pisces moon would be perfect as they can understand both need for solitude and togetherness.

  56. I have aries venus in my 4th house conjunct Jupiter and moon in virgo in the 9th house (square). My moon feels most satisfied with routine,feeling useful and needed in relationships. Alot of togetherness and learning from each other. On the contrary my venus wants space one minute and then wants to destroy my partner in bed…. A full bag of confusion over here

    • How about doing meditation, but also doing a boxing class once a week? Or doing kickboxing tapes at home? Also I feel like learning a foreign language would be nice..

      • I have a 6th house moon and meditation is part of my daily routine. Can use the headspace app or insight timer app, they are free. Aries obv enjoys a challenge, goal setting, fighting for causes, can fit that in daily too.

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