The moon in your natal chart shows your emotional nature. If your moon squares your partner’s moon, your feelings about things can clash.
Moon square moon may not show itself that dramatically until and unless the couple decides to live together. At that point, they may find their concepts of what constitutes “homey and comfortable” are at odds.
Not to say this can’t be overcome. It can be overcome. There are plenty of happy couples with their moons squared.
As an example, take a Virgo moon square a Sagittarius moon. What if the Virgo moon is conjunct Jupiter. In that case, there would be emotional affinity; both people are restless.
Or maybe the one person has a Virgo moon but they also have a stellium in Sagittarius that includes Venus and Jupiter. This person would have no problem getting along with a person with their moon in Sagittarius.
The moon is associated with security. Some people get married to stay that way! They want to have children, a home and some security in life. If this is the goal, expectations tend to be more realistic. You’re a person. The other person is a person. Neither are perfect. You choose to work together.
Today, people want their partner to deliver, bliss and hot sex and total agreement or else! Or else they’re out the door! They rarely realize the challenge they pose to their partner.
If you bring astrology into it, you’re going to be loaded with ammo. There’s always going to be something you can point at to explain why your relationship failed. But what about love? Love cannot be reduced to an equation. What if you LOVE someone? What if you love someone whose moon squares your own?
What if you realized that you do LOVE the person and while your ideas of what’s comfy might differ, you become willing to sacrifice some of yours for the sake of theirs or vice versa or you both give a bit? The minute you do that, you (and your love) will grow
Compare that to the other option. My moon squares yours – I’m out of here. Then you run off and try to make it work with someone you don’t love, but whose moon trines yours.
Sorry, but there are legions of people who do this or something similar. I hate to tell you but it’s not that smart!
When you love someone and run into a problem, you can work it out. In doing so both parties benefit, greatly, especially over time.
Does your moon square your partner’s? How does is play out?
How about Moon inconjunct Moon?
That would be easier to deal will. More of an annoyance than an out and out clash.
I had that and my partner and I never seemed to want the same things in life. So inexorably, it created tensions which gradually became greater than what had brought us together in the beginning (his Jupiter exactly conjunct my Sun for example, among other nice aspects).
Okay, thank you.
Elsa, this is a gem of an article; you’ve hit the nail on the head. From personal experience (and that of others I know) I am aware of the temptation to explain relationship difficulties with whatever language we fancy, i.e. the language of astrology or depth-psychology or whatever. It’s the equivalent of the excitement of the kid with new toys. But, like all kids, we need to grow up. The ‘toy’ of astrology should aid, not hinder us to get on with others.
For example, no-one needs to breakup their relationship by default when the outer planets cross the descendant by transit. Likewise, as you say, natal Moons in a square aspect are challenging but also motivating or stimulating. From my own experience I have a great urge for independence and freedom (Mars in Sagittarius square Uranus), whereas my partner of 34 years has the same (Venus in Sagittarius opposite Uranus). We love each other dearly and can live together easily as long as we each have our own room where we can follow our own interests. It can be as easy as that. And, as you say, love always comes first.
I really appreciate your thoughts here. My Natal Moon does not square my husband’s but the rest of this article describes how easily one or another aspect that does create challenge or conflict can be the one that flips the switch and pulls the plug on a relationship. My first marriage ended with that kind of decision — though I have no idea what our astrological synergy was — and it’s taken me decades to understand how I’ve held onto feeling he just gave up on “us.” It’s taken this marriage, after an equal number of years together as the first, to experience how much it takes to keep committed (on both sides!) when we aren’t alike in most ways. But, we love each other.
My partner and I have squared moons, but as Elsa let me know during a consult, there are lots of other qualities to our synastry chart that make it work well. For example, he’s a Gemini and my Venus is in Gemini so at the end of the day, we look at each other favorably. No matter how frustrated can get with each other in the moment, and think “why am I with such an obstinate person?”… well, within hours, it’s usually just water under the bridge.
I am married to a moon in Sag and I have a moon in Pisces. Whew!! We are so very different emotionally. Its very rough at times but we have other favorable connections to help us. I dont recommend cohabiting without other helpful aspects.
Can’t agree more! I see the majority of relationship compatibility astrology as very subjective and too much by the book.
When I look at synastry, exact angles don’t matter as much as the general tone and connection of the signs involved. Also there’s the fact that many older people (like me) have learned these hard lessons and aren’t as prone to jump the gun.
This is why psychology and astrology as well as age and personal evolution have to be part of any synastry assessment.
So thanks for this post, Elsa.
My husband and I have trine water moons. We settled in and got a place and got engaged practically two weeks after we met. But our Mercurys square eachother, whew. Its like were eachothers Devils Advocate, on opposite debate teams. It keeps us on the edge and we challenge eachother to be more open minded and to grow mentally but its tiring. I envy those who have long romantic talks over dinner or in bed
Hubby has Aquarius moon 23° and I have Taurus moon 21° Taurus. His Saturn is also conjunct my moon, so there’s that too. We are now 23 years married. Yes it’s some tough aspect we deal with but doing the work makes it so worthwhile. We have accomplished an amazing life together and now that our only child is in college we are focused on each other and getting along better than ever. We have nodal oppositions, Pluto in 1st and 7th as he is Virgo asc and I’m Pisces asc and our suns oppose in Cancer and Capricorn 27° and 26° respectively. It’s intense to say the least!!
My ex had a Cap moon in the 6th and I was blessed with Cancer on my 6th house – so there was a certain affinity in our interconnection.
A love of healthy eating. Excersise and being of service to others was strong, especially for him.
I was an 8th house Libra Moon, with his 4th house being in Scorpio.
See – an energetic affinity here as well 😉
Our horoscopes was exactly opposite each other’s meaning that his Ascendant was in Leo, and mine in Aquarius. You do the math….
What split us was life’s challenges. Differences in what we wanted from life. Timing of where we were in life and if we wanted children/were at a place where this was realistic.
I was not – he were.
No astrology to explain here, just life timing.
My current partner and I have the same Moon sign, but in different houses.
I have 3 personal planets in the 9th house. His Moon is in his 9th house, but conjunct Pluto. And my Jupiter is in 9th house but in Scorpio.
Needless to say, a big theme for us is exploring new places and ideas.
I think there is always SOME affinity between houses/energies/ruler planets/aspects, even if your Moons are square. Otherwise I don’t think people would be drawn to each other. I could be wrong, but I have seen it often enough in my relationships to not give these type of connections credit.
Another astrologer just told me this recently- that my partner and I are doomed based on his virgo moon & my gemini moon. Everything else in the chart looks great & I had been responding to her article on synastry, so for her to choose that one single aspect and say we’re doomed (and sorry but that’s just how it is) was upsetting. Youre right about the living together thing, I found our emotional natures have clashed more when we moved in together- but we have big dreams and have been able to progress & build understanding despite that. The larger picture is important than any one aspect. Is the Virgo Moon a bitch of a moon? In my opinion yes, and Im a Virgo Sun (lol), but my partner has absolutely recognized my worth when I didnt…and helped me grow in my career in a major way since I met him. Sure he doesnt like discussions that are theoretical, random, and spacey (astrology) but thats OK. We have to have separate interests too- and I would recommend that for Square Moon relationships.
Would moon opp moon be a deal breaker over time? That’s what I read all around, and also it’s been my experience. I don’t want to extrapolate though, since I’ve Uranus (Sag) in wide opp to my moon (Gem). It’s ~12deg orb, but mustn’t absolutely be discounted in this context/ synastry. I wonder without uranus involvement?