Moon Signs, The IC & Aspects In Synastry

moon love coupleHi Elsa,

Are relationships more likely to break up, lack a soul connection, or at least feel that the two are not in sync with difficult moon synastry? These questions are becoming more important to me. How will someone and myself blend so to speak?

Do we look to combinations of the IC and the moon, emotional body for indications of being safe and comforted with another? And to what degree do the moon/IC aspects ( or chart signatures?) impact the way connections play out?

Seeking Comfort
United States

Hi, Seeking.

You’ve introduced so many elements, I don’t think there is a way to tie them all together and come up with a simple, definitive answer. Outside of the astrology, the terms you use are also difficult to define.

“Soul connection.”
“Being in sync.”
“Feeling safe and comforted.”
“Blending”

If you asked ten people to describe the meaning of these things, they’d be all over the place.  This may be the primary reason you’re struggling with this.

Also, I’m not sure the moon or the IC is involved, when it comes to syncing up with another person. That may be Mars (running together) or Mercury (timing or thinking).

You also mention, “breaking up”. People break up for a myriad of reasons, many of which have little or nothing to do with their moon or emotions. For example, they may just be bored!

In regards to moon to moon synastry in relationship, I can tell you what I’ve observed.  The moon is personal. Hard aspects between the two moons in a partnership really show themselves when the people opt to live together.  It’s a great help if the two moons are in compatible elements, even if they are not aspecting each other by degree.  When the two moons clash, it’s much harder to make a home. The people differ on what constitutes a “nest”.

This suggests, if you feel ill at ease on a date with someone, you can imagine the problems, should you try to live with them.

Remember the moon represents family…what’s familiar to you.  If someone’s moon is conjunct your IC, you’re going to relate to that person.  You probably will feel an emotional connection.

This does not mean a person wants an emotional connection. There are legions of people out there who want to have sex and that’s it.  So the connection could actually drive them away!

I’m sorry I don’t have neat answer to your question, but I hope this helps you in other ways.

What’s your experience with the moon or IC in synastry?

Get your Compatibility Report here!

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Moon Signs, The IC & Aspects In Synastry — 25 Comments

  1. I think the moon has been somewhat significant in how compatible I’ve been with people romantically. I usually relate best to Capricorn, Cancer, Virgo and Pisces moons best.

  2. Hi, I’ve had a Moon-Moon conjunction in Cancer with sbdy younger than me and it was complete melting of the souls. We never were an item though. He was like a brother from another mother. But, I really loved him and I’m pretty sure it was reciprocated. I had a stellium in Scorpio direct on his IC, as well: Mars, Pluton, Sun and Mercury. He really trusted me and I him. I’ve never felt such an amazing emotional connection with sbdy before: No words were needed. Our gazes could speak for us.

    Then, I had a Moon-Moon conjunction in Cancer with sbdy older than me, an ex-lover. He was more “addicted” to me than I was to him. I liked him, but that was it.

  3. The IC so important in my world. The only two times I’ve ever been head over heels in love were when their Moon conjunct my IC, which trines my Moon and Venus by sign. One of the two, in fact, I married. His Moon/Venus/AC all fall on my IC. It’s a very comforting connection and it’s very potent but there is a downside.

    It’s like a Moon/Moon conjunction. If one experiences mood swings, it will deeply impact the emotional status of the other at a visceral level. So you have to be careful who you “merge” with in this very intimate zone because toxic emotions can absolutely ruin your relationship. Plus synastry Moon on the IC can also mean you spend a TON of time at home together. 4th house is HOME life. This can be very satisfying to enjoy a good home together life, at first –especially if you have a water or earth moon in more of the private houses like 12th, 8th, 4th but if your own Moon is in a more public house, like the 1st, 3rd, 7th, 9th, 10th, & 11th or if it’s in an air or fire sign, (mine is in Gemini, 10th, conjunct Mars, no less!) then that can frustrate you to no end.

    You want to be out and about in the world –hiking or attending parties or taking workshops in Bali or getting work done to get caught up on the week ahead or doing a new exercise boot camp but your partner basically wants to cuddle in bed all weekend and watch Netflix reruns. Again. For the 38th week in a row because this aspect is so comfortable and it makes people want to do that.

    Over time though –it can be an unpleasant, suffocating feeling if your Moon feeds on stuff other than just hanging out at home. (Like mine does)

    So, try to look at astrology as complex as people are instead of dwelling on cookbook definitions or singular aspects. People are complicated and when you merge the synastry, all that complication is coming together and creating a new energy. Sure, you can take on the Moon/IC but are you prepared to deal with Mars-Pluto square you have in synastry? What about his/her Mars conjoining or opposing that Moon on your IC? Are you prepared for all the arguments that can bring into your sacred 4th house life?

    Challenges will always come with the good and vice versa.

    • The dynamic you describe here is so spit on for my last relationship!

      His Taurus moon was natally in The 12th (craving solidtude) while mine is in the 8th. We both like privacy – but he thrived on being alone, up all night, with himself, while my 8th house Libra moon, square Mars, craves exitement, people and intimacy to thrive.

      While he sat up at night, going to bed in the wee hours, shortly before I got up, I lay in bed, missing him, feeling lonely, lost and left.

      Even if Venus ruled our moon sign our idea of pleasure was totally different. He was perfectly fine with sitting at home always (unless it had something to do with HIS friends – then he became an outgoing extrovert).

      I felt very lonely in that relationship, like I waited and waited and waited for him – all the time.

  4. My partner’s Taurus moon trines my Virgo moon wide. His Mars in Sagittarius squares my moon tight. His Pluto is on my moon. We’ve had a tumultuous on and off again relationship since 2012. When things are good between us they are very, very good. I love eating with him. We are both serious about keeping a clean home and eating good food. He’s double earth and this comforts me. I’m an Aquarian but I have stuff in Capricorn and a tenth house Saturn.

    • hi Misti, not to be too intrusive, but being around the forums, your post made me wonder if this is the gemini you were dating?

      • Hi Mojo, just saw this. No, I was referring to the Capricorn. We broke up. So in 2016 I had three different boyfriends. Scorpio. Gemini. Capricorn. I’m ready for at least a couple of years of solitude. But reading this post again I’m thinking hmmmm…maybe I need a partner whose Scorpio moon is on my IC. Right now I need sleeeeeep. 🙂

  5. Personally, this is one of the most important aspects to me, if not THE most important. Moon/Moon comptability by element or aspect. I cannot get to that level of intimacy and comfort with someone who doesnt vibe with my Moon, something always feels a little Off. Even with friends, I dont feel the same level of harmony, even though I may still emjoy their company for a while. I couldnt say if IC/Moon contacts make up for it, because my 4th house is in Aquarius and harmonises with my air Moon either way.

  6. This post is so helpful. I have both IC and Moon in Taurus. Taurian qualities all the way. I don’t think I can relate to anyone who hasn’t strong Taurian signature. Yeah, I can speak and work with other people for a while but it wears me down very quickly. They are short-term. Taurus-heavy people are probably the only ones I can be in the presence of and feel comfortable and at ease as the time progresses. They’re probably the best long-term option in my case.

    • The interesting thing is that the friend I feel like understands me the best and I feel most comfortable with has Saturn in Taurus.

  7. For me personally, it does not help I have a 10th house Moon in Virgo. The “I can’t to be alone” but out in the world. I am also persnickety when it comes what it is out in the world I want to do. So in my case, I had a husband with a Sag ASC and Pisces Moon and a 9th house Virgo Sun. He could not make up his mind or was all over the place (mutable). But his needs (Moon) were different than mine as my moon was opp. his IC. Though his IC was same as mine, I have no planets there, so feel his moon. We had a very hard time is all I can say.

  8. My ex’s moon was in Cancer and mine’s in Scorpio. Should have been great, but he had the fucking CRANKIEST Cancer Moon, when he was mad he would say the most outrageous stuff and call me the most horrible names. No filter. My Scorpio moon just took that and went and HID. It would take me a week to get over him calling me the C word and then he’d reactivate the whole thing by telling me I was punishing him by withholding sex. Who wanted to have sex with someone who could allow himself to speak like that? So Moon is not the be-all-and-end-all with me, no siree.

    • The thing with that is that it isnt totally the best thing. I always want to talk about feelings and scorpio moon will listen and empathize then shut down and hide. Also hide their own feelings. Depends on the aspects between the two. A kid at work whos a cancer with a scorpio moon saved me, but also pisses me off and i do say angry stuff to him to draw him out. Like accusing him of ignoring me. We have mars square saturn synastry. Were best when im learning from him and appreciating him.

    • If you have a tough cancer moon its hard. I find myself.doing and saying bad things to get the reassurance i crave. We intensely need security and assurance sometimes. Prob that guy had a very poorly aspected moon, right? Or you had bad overall synastry?
      I have some close friends with pisces moons, try a guy like that or one whose moon touches your sun. Do you have more air or fire than water?

    • I’m sorry that happened. I do appreciate this feedback as I’m now ruminating over the moon/moon synastry. I discovered I have a semi square moon/moon with someone, yet my natal moon conjuncts both his Venus and his mars & near or the same sign as his south node. My moon semi quintile his sun. His natal moon conjunct my vertex which is in his fourth house. His moon is in a compatible element as my moons nodes and Venus but it’s too big an orb to aspect unless there’s a minor aspect there? His moon tri septilles my ascendant. We do have several minor aspects as well as major.

  9. My last relationship was with a man whose moon exactly conjuncted mine. What you say about the connection driving them away rings so true. After a few months of what I thought was a good thing, he dumped me, disappearing without a word.

    • Also, I wanted to add, I had a physical relationship with someone who I was madly in Love head over heals for…. I won’t go into to many gory details, but I just wanted to point this out to reveal why one can’t always claim something as being definitive. I was enthralled with this individual!! The chemistry passion was explosive and out of this world!!! I mean, so far, I have not experienced this level of intensity ( ok, maybe one other time later yes!!) I wanted the full package with this person, he lusted and craved me physically, but that was IT!! His moon is in scorpio, mine is Virgo. That’s considered GOOD! It’s a sextile! But he did not ever want a full relationship with me, only physically!! That killed me, at first I thought maybe it’s because he just doesn’t want to be tied down, not true, because he did have serious relationships with other women!! In fact, he was even in love and obsessed with them!! But NOT with me! That KILLED!! I was on the brink of being suicidal… it was bad! He is a libra rising and a Leo sun and a Scorpio moon. I’m a Taurus rising/sun but Virgo moon. Virgo and Scorpio are supposed to go well and be in harmony together and it’s MOON so that’s intimate?? But nope 👎overall feeling was NOT mutual! And I don’t think he and I would have lived well together. So moon signs may matter when considering a relationship. But it’s not the end all be all, also look at your composite and that would probably be the ultimate say? Good luck 🍀

  10. I think the Moon shows you how you will automatically react to any emotional stress, not how you have to.

    My Scorpio Moon says “If you don’t like how I made dinner, obviously you will not die for me and that is the whole point, isn’t it?”

    My Libra Venus says “Well, shall we look at some recipes together, and you tell me what seems appealing?”

    My Virgo Sun says “WTF? Get it down you, it is nourishing. And do the washing up, I am not your slave.”

    My Aquarius Ascendant says “Whatever.”

    My North Node and Jupiter in Gemini says “This is really good material for a comedy sketch.”

    And my Leo Mercury in the 7th says “Hold it right there You could sound MORE annoyed and then I deliver my killer line. APPLAUSE”

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