Moon conjunct Pluto in Capricorn (heavyweight, deep fear)

pluto the coolestMan oh man.  We got the house we wanted today. I am sad to say, I feel inordinately heavy about the whole thing. This is exactly opposite how I expected I’d feel.  It’s like mortal fear.

I don’t think it means anything. We’re buying our last house, see? How can that not be heavy?

How do you feel today?

Related


Comments

Moon conjunct Pluto in Capricorn (heavyweight, deep fear) — 37 Comments

  1. I feel great today. Outside grilling, drinking beer, enjoying the sunshine.

    And congrats!!! What do you thinks causing the fear?

    • I know exactly what my fears are. I just don’t want to go into them. I don’t think it would be smart.

      You can’t go through something like this,,,moving cross-country, winding up homeless (briefly)…so many things. I’ve been in upheaval ever since my son said he wanted to be an engineer…last June?

      So just knowing this is winding down is enough to make me feel, deeply.

      We won’t be able to move for another two months, by the way. So more squatting on my part.

    • We won’t move until mid June. My husband will be here briefly next week. My son will be here end if May. I am the only one who has seen the house. Part of my emotion is connected to the seller. It’s just all a bit much. Thank God, I can go to mass tomorrow. That will help.

  2. When I feel that way is when things turn out really well for me so I hope it is the same for you.

    I’m just cleaning & exercising so that I don’t feel too heavy. It’s a good day to Virgo some area of life. 🙂

  3. Whilst I’m not pleased that you are experiencing this feeling, I am pleased that it has been articulated so comprehensively in your post.

    I can understand very much the feeling: I changed my surname by deed poll this week, signing the papers on Friday. I did so to officially break the bond from my estranged father whom I have not had contact with in 18 years. I looked forward to this event for a long time though was surprised when it came as I had the realisation that the next time I hear of him will be his death or events near to his death. I had hitherto not considered the finality of the decision: no going back. Ever.

    I am happy but weighed down.

    • Yeah, Laura. That’s part of it. We’re buying a house we’re not going to be able to sell. This decision will factor for the rest of our lives. We’re making our bed, so to speak. So I hope it will be comfortable but I surely don’t know.

      I think magic fairy bean solutions to problems will not be found for the rest of my lifetime. This is the rubber hitting the road. It’s our money…our life savings being put where our mouth is.

      I think the closer you are to death, the more frightened you feel (at times). I mean, I know it’s all cool to say and feel that you’re not afraid of dying. I say that and feel it all the time.

      It’s the time between today and when you’re dead that’s concerning.

      Anyway, I can transcend this. Many time throughout my life I’ve had to roll the dice. Like when I left home at 15. I was either going to sink or swim….I swam like a MF’er!

      • Hey, Elsa. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought, thank you.

        From the small amount I read about you on your blog I have no hesitation that you’ll swim like a MF’er again.
        You strike me as the sort of person that has adaptability and intelligence (all kinds) in buckets for whom these situations are mere problems to solve. And you’re a bit good at that.

        All the best with the move, your health and the years ahead – whatever they may bring.

  4. I can tell it’s moon in cap that’s for sure-got up real early this morning to go to few yard sales, then came home and painted the ceiling in living room-the walls will have to wait for tomorrow. then went to see some baby bunnies from husbands from work-bought two.now,making a nice nest for bunnies out back and going to run to feed store for bunny food and hay. whew…I’m tired. A very full and productive day.

  5. It is heavy to move across the country, have your people somewhere else and try to make the right decision on your final home. But, you’ve really done what you set out to do. Congratulations on that! Not a day of it could have been easy.

    We’ve been in this house for 10 years. (I cant believe the crap we have accumulated) While I worked my oldest (the Libra) son came and helped Mr. Pisces load up the dumpster. This was/is (?) supposed to be stage one of us getting it together to put this monster up for sale. We already know we are not only going to have a hard time selling it, we wont get what we would like to. And, we have put a lot of money into it. You have to maintain these old historic homes. I wouldn’t tell anyone to ever buy one. $ has to go into some kind of repair every single spring it seems.

    Anyway, the dumpster is full. I pulled in and saw it overflowing…. and I have to tell you, it felt like a punch in the stomach. This is the home Scorpio moon has been growing up in. It will be much harder to leave it than I thought.

    I am glad to have the junk cleared out. I will be glad for the bathroom remodel…but I don’t know…. may have to pull us out of here kicking and screaming. I hate it almost all of the time. Its too much for us to take care of. But, its home. I know it will be hard for us to move around in here in 7-10 years. Old people shouldn’t be climbing stairs to the moon every day.

    I am on the fence about it today. I hope that changes. We just cant stay here 🙁

    It is heavy Elsa. Hang in there. You are almost done. You have done SO much over the last 6 months! I have no idea how you’ve been able to do it considering what you have been through health wise.

    I’ll be glad when we can hear you say all you did was consults, pick in the garden, make dinner and sit outside and have a glass of iced tea! It will be good for you to finally be able to relax a little! Wont be long now! 🙂

  6. This afternoon I’ve been reading books. It’s been a great afternoon.

    I understand the serious attitude. It’s an underlying theme, even sitting here reading and drinking hot tea. (A cold front passed through last night.)

  7. Really don’t like this corpsey Pluto Capricorn energy on my IC in general. Lots of historic buildings around my city with so much childhood memories are getting demolished, one after the other. I have deep fears of seeing things that once served as a foundation for security…just disappear. I have deep fears of losing things especially anything relevant to my IC. I feel like a corpse myself with all foundations lost, lol.

  8. P.S. Buying a house is serious business. Sure, it’s a happy time too, but it comes from a lot of hard work and responsibility. It reminds me somewhat of the joy + seriousness of having a baby.

    But Elsa, you’re in the homestretch!

  9. Pluto/Moon conj. for me in my 8th opposing ‘exact’ my Sun/Saturn conj in Cancer so I’m gonna be motherly here and say, “Elsa, it’s gonna be ok.” It only seems like you’ll never be able to sell the house you’re buying. It’s the right house for you. It will be for someone else…some day. (Pluto conj. Moon in the 8th just over my South Node in the 8th) says… you’ve got years ahead of you. Ups and downs yes, but you’re a strong ass woman. Start decorating. (((hug))

  10. Trained someone at work today. Got stuff done. After work, bought a new-to-me purse from Goodwill (a practical, boxy, brown one–how Capricorn is that?).

    Today it dawned on me how fat I’ve gotten and how badly I need to revamp parts of my wardrobe. Pluto/moon travelling in my 1st house….I feel ugly….. 🙁

  11. I’m going to have that(Pluto) transit to my natal moon come 2016. It will be, like what, a year long feeling of mortal fear? As if I needed more after uranus-Pluto square.

  12. I never doubted you would get the house. I am happy for you.

    I understand the heaviness. I am about to get justice for something that has been unjustly going on for 19 years since Saturn in Pisces….and it will elevate me. It is a matter of the right thing being done (Saturn) in a matter of religion/faith (Sagittarius). It creates a commitment for me that will place restrictions or at least fairly strict guidelines (Saturn)around my freedom of expression (Sagittarius). I am glad, but I am not jumping for joy. I cannot fully articulate this yet.

  13. Sorry it is a heavyfeeling for you. You certainly have gone through the mill with this whole thing. I know it has been hard on you and things have been far from smooth. I get what you say about the inbetween today and death. That really is the concern. I have felt that many times. Finality is not scary, it is what you have to go through before it is over that is so unsettling and heavy. I was 99% sure from the gut level that you would be moving in that house in spite of all the signals that said otherwise. It was a complex and convoluted way of getting ther but it seems that you will be the Grand Dame of a very large and unique property. I have heard that a house is a representation of the soul and a vehicle is a representation of the body. This house sounds to me to represent your soul perfectly, it is large , unique and elegant. Sounds like you to me. It is perfect, it just was not perfect getting there. Go out shopping for beautiful hats to mow that immense lawn in. I wish the process had been a happier one but healing will come to all involved soon enough. Wishing you peace and a break from Pluto. We could all use one. We are all burned out on heavy feelings.

  14. This is why I bitch & moan about Saturn!!! I mean, you have worked harder than hard to reach this point & where’s the joy? It’s total bullsh*t feeling like this.

    I have Saturn op Pluto, in a Tsquare with Jupiter at the helm. I pull this stuff off all the time, but I’m exhausted & it doesn’t make me happy. People are always expecting whoops of delight & I just want to cry.

    I’m glad this a passing phase & you’ll bounce up & float @Elsa… I’m sorry it feels this way for now, but hey! By the time your fruit trees are blossoming & your dogs are set, I’m sure you’ll be on top of the World!! You’ve done the right thing ALLLL the way through this- Saturn Law says it’ll pay off…

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

    Here’s to a change of gears again- rock on Aqua Moon!!!!!!

  15. I remember living in a caravan once when I was between houses. It was a bit scarey and uncomfortable but I didn’t realise till I actually got a new house and felt this huge weight suddenly appear, just how light and free I’d been without attachment or foundation. It’s like I’d been floating, and now I was anchored, for better or for worse. Once you’re in there you’ll get your groove back 🙂

  16. This is a complicated, deeply emotional deal. Again, a lot it has to do with the sellers. It’s a delicate situation with much at stake for everyone involved.

    My husband has not yet seen the house. That alone is enough to affect me deeply.

    • This is a complicated, deeply emotional deal. Again, a lot it has to do with the sellers. It’s a delicate situation with much at stake for everyone involved.

      Quite.

      It sounds to me like your gut is warning you here. That may pass or it may not.

      max
      [‘Be careful and don’t take no wooden nickles.’]

      • I had a very good, happy sign today. I met one of my soon-to-be neighbors – hit it off.

        Really, I get along with pretty much everyone here, but this gal exceptional – we’re sure to be friends.

  17. Elsa, are you still having 3 Dog Nights?! (A play on your 3 dogs for those who might not know.) It’s so hot out here already; I’m down to sheet and light blanket. You’re a trooper, and the dogs I’m sure are excellent company!

  18. I’m happy you found a house, Elsa! I understand your feelings though. And you’ll make happy memories here in the end.

    I had a nice weekend all around but since I have this position natally, I’m familiar with the deep, churning, doubts that can feel a little hellish. They grow, you try to sort them, and sometimes they work themselves out on their own.

  19. Oh wow, I wish I had checked the site over the weekend. I started training to get my motorcycle safety certification over the weekend. I went into it expecting to LOVE riding a motorcycle and having that control. I left the first day absolutely terrified of ever taking a bike on the highway and convinced that I would not be anywhere near ready for months/years from now. I was so deeply shaken that I went home and cried to my husband about it. He and I both were very disappointed that this was my reaction but I felt it all the way to my gut. I walked away from class Saturday thinking “This is not for me. As much as I want it to be, I think this is one of those times when I need to be an adult (Saturn) and admit my boundaries (Sag).” I was just so devastated by how wrong I was about loving it.

  20. I also wished I had read this over the weekend. I am being forced to move to another city in order to keep my job. I should be elated that they like my work enough to relocate me, but every time I look at properties online in the new city, I’m nauseous and want to burst into tears. I tried to back out of the deal last week, but my boss is not having it. I really hope I find a way to get happy about this soon.

  21. Congrats on the house! I don’t think you can know for sure that it’s your last house. My 80 year old in-laws are moving to a different state and it was the last thing they expected but they are happy.

    You could be feeling a bit of buyers remorse too.

    We are selling our house too. When we began the process, I was very excited and light about it. As we go on, I feel burdened and can’t wait for this to be over.

    • I don’t think we can know that for sure either, Kate. But it is our intention. This is a house that will accommodate a wheelchair, for example. We are planning to be able to care for sick or elderly friends or family, or ourselves if that’s what turns out.

      I don’t have buyer’s remorse. We don’t have a contract yet, so there’s been no purchase made.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *