My husband is deliberately provoking a man he works with; he’s a fighting man, with “cauliflower ears”. Tha man has been in prison. I don’t exactly know why my husband is doing this, but he’s going full tilt.
The man is short. My husband feels he has a Napoleon complex. The man challenged him and my husband answered in his best, “Sling Blade” voice, “You ain’t much bigger than a baby squirrel…”
He’s also told him when he walks on grass, the blades tickle his balls.
They want to start a softball team. My husband said he could play catcher. “You won’t even have to squat down”.
For some reason my husband is driven to irritate this man; and entertain the other workers. Maybe he’s a bully. But this seems a good thing to write (and read) as the Moon in Scorpio closes it’s conjunction with Mars.
See anything like this happening in your world?
I wonder if the man reminds your husband of someone who was cruel to him as a child. I’m a Scorpio moon and at times find myself boiling over with hate for someone who triggers memories of a detractor/abuser. I dealt with Napoleon comlex types and they often are the most vicious because they operate from inadequacy and fear. I can understand your husband’s impulse to poke fun if the guy is a creep, take him down an even lower peg than his current stature.
My husband doesn’t have that kind of history. He’s got a reason, I just don’t know what it is yet. It may very well be for fun and distraction. 🙂
Does your husband know why the guy was in prison? If he does, maybe that’s what pushes his buttons. Or the man has hurt someone’s feelings at work whom your husband considers as good people and/or vulnerable in some way. Scorpio often has a strong urge to act (and take revenge) on behalf of the downtrodden and the innocent.
Yes, he knows. He was a cop gone bad.
He makes quips about this all the time, too.
He likes him to an extent. At least he thinks he’s smart. The guy’s operation was nothing small potatoes. Perhaps busted for just a fraction of what was really going on.
LOL. 🙂 Nothing like that going on in my world but this made me laugh, especially the bit about the Sling Blade voice.
I haven’t noticed that yet but then again I am known for spewing my opinions on bullshit, no-common sense observations on Twitter because, REALLY, PEOPLE?!
Cute baby, though! ?
I guess that’s not the same thing, though, as what your husband is doing. But I can totally see it happening! You’re just compelled to provoke them!
This is exactly whats happening around me at work.
Its just crazy mixture of a tad bull-ish.
I feel calm now 🙂
I have mars at 6’32” and moon at 6’58” scorpio natally. I have been at a mexican standoff with my boyfriend’s son who I live with. He was pissed that I insisted his cat go to his mother’s house, where they have a yard, rather than live in an apt with us. Now, I raised that cat and loved her, but she developed a urinary leak, and was locked into one room in the end.
So we barely spoke since December when he left for school break. He has been resentful and finally snapped. So I said, do you want to sit and talk? Then you can tell me all the things you don’t like about me. Of course, I figured I could take it, and then say all the things I hated about him.
Well, the day came and went for the talk, and we both backed down, I guess realizing it would be a nasty or even dangerous thing to do.
We have actually both grown up from it.
Not Good. With all respect Elsa, I think it is a quest for Dominance with your husband letting the man know that your husband is the lead sled dog. I hope it works out ok. This happens sometimes in groups of men. They always look for the weak link in the team (military is especially bad about this) see if they can make the weak link break, and if they cannot then accept the team member. Sometimes it is hazing. Why do I know so much ? I have led and been team members in groups of men most of my career. I Hope this does not make you angry – it is just my point of view. Usually this type of thing is an assertion of Dominance (primate behavior) (Women are not as overt).
It doesn’t make me angry. He’s tried to intimidate my husband. This is my husband’s response.
That is what it is then. Your husband knows this guy could be real trouble and he is trying to get ahead of it by asserting his dominance, and letting this guy know that there will be consequences, real consequences. I understand better now. Guys do this – but this man sounds dangerous (the new guy). Glad your husband was not intimidated. The new man on the team will always try to understand the power structure and who is really in charge (the alpha).
I’m envious. I wish I could get away with that. If I stood up for myself, there would be an uprising behind my back and I’d be fired. I know, I know, it’s not fair, but it’s just the way it goes.
Oh me. ❤️
my first husband has a napoleon complex, as well as a dr. Jekyll and mr. hyde personality, a leo stellium and 5 ft 4 inches tall.It was very easy to push his buttons if one did not mind the outcome. Which I tried to avoid at all cost After the divorce I looked for gentle giants.
Dearest Elsa, have you started started back cooking for him again? With all due respect, it might make him feel better if he could burn off some of his aggression with grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning up. Isn’t it hard on him needing to pick on a little guy to show off? Maybe he needs to mow the lawn and work in the garden, too. You’ve worked so hard with the garden and mowing the lawn, and you not feeling well. Didn’t you say once that you are not a spring chicken? Your health is your bank account and once its depleted you’re not going to bounce back so easily.I know this from personal experience. Lots of people rooting for you and sending you much love, Miss Elsa.
Oh, Jeanne, you don’t know either one of us very well. Or at all, for that matter.
My husband is not tall for one thing. And he’s much older than the little guy. Like decades older. 🙂
This is more complex than you imagine. And I hate unsolicited advice, especially when it comes to my marriage, which is nobodies business.
If you knew how off base you were, you’d be deeply embarrassed.
I must admit, it hurts my feelings to see a man being picked on for being short. My son is short. Short and tiny. When I see him in pictures with other guys, he is the tiniest, shortest person in the picture. I know my son struggles with dating. Most women want someone taller than them. My son is now dating a beautiful girl who is at least a half foot taller than him. I was worried when he was pursuing her that she would end up breaking his heart. When he was a teenager, my son told me the most intimidating place for him to be was in a locker room.
I am so grateful that back when my son was still a tiny toddler, I told him the world was a better place now that he was in it. I told him he was a good friend, and I told him how smart and handsome he was. He is bi racial, I am green eyed and pink skinned with big bones and a large frame at 190 and 5’5″. My son looks just like his dad, a 95 lb. weakling type Chinese with tiny, delicate features. My son would cry as a child, telling me he wanted my green eyes. He said he looked in the mirror and only saw brown.
I guess what I am trying to say is I would never insult someone based on something they were born with and could not change. I don’t care how horrible they were, I just would not do that. I raised my son to have tolerance for others, he will probably be someone’s boss someday because he was granted a full ride scholarship to a top notch university. My son volunteers at the local refugee center, befriends LGBT students and works for a non profit that oversees orphanages in 3rd world countries. He was also chosen by his favorite Women’s Studies female professor to be her assistant and class liaison, not bad for a SHORT man raised by a single mother who was told she would never succeed in the first place raising him in poverty and section 8 housing.
When I was in the Navy, it was mainly shorter men with smaller physiques who were fighter pilots. Like jockeys, they needed to be smaller in stature to fit in a cockpit of a compact jet.
Just sticking up for the short guy here.
Okay. But my husband is short as well. It just doesn’t bother him…in the least.
And everyone has something. My son ran around trying to convince people I was Mexican for awhile there. Because it’s so shameful to be a gringo, see? And I’m Italian.
Bottom line, my husband is funny as shit. If you heard this guy talk about women, I don’t think near as many would be defending him.
A person is really best off to avoid seeing themselves as a victim (not personal to you, Sherry), because if that’s what you see, it’s probably all you’ll ever see. Does not make for a very happy life.
And…I grew up with plenty of wop, wop, wop jokes and comments about being greasy.
Oddly when picking on something obvious, at times because you got to own it it is undeniable, such can make one laugh at themselves and when you laugh at yourself no one can hurt you assumably but the boy club almost impossible to figure, I have an immediate response to anyone I think is trying to bug me” oh bless your sweet little heart”” it is code.
Where and when I grew up, if men were screwed up in some obvious manner, that became your nickname. Often sarcastic/funny.
For example, you were a man who had a limp & had a hard time getting around – your nickname was Speedy. Etc
My husband, also a moon in Scorpio, does things like that at work sometimes. He doesn’t mince words either. He works for a Chinese company, so most of the men there are from China. He is the IT guy, so they’re always looking for him to do something for them, but they can be quite rude about it. For example, if he is on the phone with someone else, they just walk in and start telling him what they want. It irritates my husband to no end, so he lets them have it. He makes fun of them to the other American guys that work there and they all laugh and agree, but none of them has the guts to say what my husband will. My husband can be a bully if he’s pushed (Pluto in the 12th conjunct Ascendant).
My husband is home with the day’s hijinks. He’s got them all calling each other Italian names now, like “Jimmy the Leg”. Sounds like they’re having a good time.
It’s a horrible place to work. He’s breaking up the monotony. I mean, everyone there works 68 hours a week, in a sweltering machine shop – no ac. That’s why telling me to have my husband work more ^^^ is ridiculous.
People around here are different, in that they’re normal. Not constantly offended or looking for pathology. I don’t think people who do that have any clue how compromised their lives are. You can tell jokes at work, okay?
The thing here, is this is an intimidating man that my husband is dogging on. He’s clearly been in many fights…hence the ears. There are people in this place from prison – lots of them – making shivs on machines, no less…
So today he told my husband someone had a problem with him…a complaint. My husband said he did not mean to upset the guy, he likes him,
Short guy says, “No problem. I smoothed it out for you.”
“Thanks man,” my husband said. “High five,” he said, holding his palm down low.
The guy laughed. “You just won’t stop.”
Ha! This sounds like my boyfriend at his workplace …
Men. It is all that testosterone they have to deal with I guess….good ending to the story.
I am sorry but this made me laugh! The grass bit. I believe that people can have different styles of communicating , some may seem offensive to onlookers but in reality it is the language that BOTH understand and respect- humor.
My husband has spoken to me like that often and I roar with laughter. Vice versa. Others have recoiled when present, but never those who know us.
We amuse each other to no end and that is what is important. Think this is what is happening at work. Good sparing and fun! Common ground.
Welcome, StarryOn. 🙂
Thanks Elsa, really enjoying the blog and forum.
Actually yes with a Scorpio from New Jersey. Makes me nostalgic for the old days when ego’s weren’t so fragile. Learning how laugh at your foibles, not take it all so seriously was the ticket. Rings Starr said if it wasn’t for the 4 of them giving each other shit they would have ended up like Elvis taking it all so serious with nothing but sycofant type nice people that allowed him to crawl into his hole so as not to insult the king. Those were the days when the world didn’t crash with an insult. Being able to laugh at yourself was a sign of character. Personally I miss them. Nothing but eggshells these days.
Please, egos were always fragile. There’s no “back in the day when people were stronger.” People have always been like this.
I suppose that depends on your region. I am from a land of people with thick skins. The desert…like we have tough hides or something. The glass jaws I encounter on a daily basis…unreal.
Can’t really answer that question without knowing what the “napoleon complex” behaviors were that prompted your husband. If the small guy is a jerk than it would make sense to fling back what was flung at you, ya know? Otherwise they think you’re weak and can pick on your whenever they want. If that’s the case, your husband’s behavior would make total sense. Standing your ground shows the bully you are not going to take it but there’s a point where you have to pull back too so you don’t become the bully yourself.
“You ain’t much bigger than a baby squirrel…” 🙂