It’s fair to say, I’m a Mercurial astrologer. I’m definitely the only one running around claiming that Mercury trumps Pluto, though I know this to be true.
I’m not alone, though. Astrologer, Lois Rodden, had a particular interest in Mercury. The (low) review on her book is funny. The person claims it’s for “brainiacs”. Maybe the reviewer is right. I’ve been called a brainiac before. I guess that’s better than, “bitch”.
I’ve written before about how sometimes my Mars-affected mind will have an involuntary impulse. Like all those times in the gym, I’d see some guy walk by and think mounting him. It’s disturbing, okay?
Then there’s my packed 8th house. The taboo things that cross my mind are truly freakish. Please God, don’t ever let technology display a person’s thoughts in a bubble over their head! But then today, I had a new disturbing thought.
It occurred to me how easy it would be to drive this certain woman insane. I could get her all pissed off, sputtering, with her head threatening to explode, probably with one small remark.
Can you believe this? That’s gaslighting! That’s trolling! I hate stuff like this.
I have definitely lashed out. I have definitely said vicious things to numerous people in my life, but that’s overt, see? That’s my Mars conjunct Mercury. It’s anger.
The impulse to cause harm in a sneaky, undermining way has never come upon me. This is anger too, and it caused me another shock. Because while I’ve known I don’t crave this woman, I had no idea I loathed her, which clearly I do, or doing something like this this would not have come to mind.
I’m going to leave her be, of course. But I was alarmed to see pop up from my depth.
Astrologically, I give it to Mars retrograde in Sagittarius squaring natal Pluto in Virgo. You know how people say they would never do something? It’s a deep (Pluto) truth (Sagittarius) that’s been exposed here. I have the capacity to at least attempt to damage or destroy a person, mentally.
My Mercury in Libra is disgusted by this…and my 9th house isn’t too thrilled either. I may like the expanded knowledge, but it’s not exactly high-minded, is it?
Is there someone in your life, you might loathe more than you realize? Does your mind misbehave too?
Heh. Heh. Heh. 🙂
I don’t have a problem with this at all. The possibilities in my brain, and choosing not to do them, is calming. It means I know what I COULD do- without undermining myself with quick anger and clouded judgement. If you don’t do something hastily, you can tuck the idea away in your brain. If it’s ever the thing to do, you won’t be doing it in a risky manner or fired up in rage. You can do whatever it is in the right proportion- and you know what they say about revenge/cold.
What interested me is people (including me) say that they could never do this or that. Killing someone for example. People say they could not hurt a flea! But then they find themselves in some kind of stress and they realize they could easily do the thing. I think this happens to most people are some point. That veil lifts and whoa!
my moral fiber is sheer crap and I only see potential to do poor things in myself. So I hope I’d never do this or that, but.. I spent enough time thinking OCd thoughts of hurting and therefore needing to be separated from others. I want to assume I’m not inclined to do certain bad things, because tired of protecting myself from life or my bad parts this way.
it sounds like “control” to take over. while you’re seeing someone just minding their own business, like you mentioned the analogy of someone lifting weights, and then you want to “mount them”? that’s like wanting to control someone who you deem powerful enough to take on? maybe that’s why? I’m trying to wrap my mind around that. It maybe what men do when they stalk a woman, they see a potential, and they want to “mount” her in a psychological way? it’s not high-minded, so it’s at the “base” instinctual level.
No one was lifting weights. It was sheer sexual impulse. It was a reaction, like a rush of hormones. I imagine it’s akin to a man getting an involuntary erection.
Absolutely. And it manifests in a manner similar to what you described. Sortof like an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. My Pluto (in Scorpio) Squaring Venus and Mercury, and my Mars in Scorp are the Devils. My Moon in Libra is the Angel. So while the Devils are whispering “Make them pay!” the Angel is saying “Wait a minute… just calm down now”.
Yeah. So let’s say I don’t like this woman. I may or may not act on my feelings, but if I do act, it would be overt, above board. It is not unheard of for me to tell someone, look. I don’t like you. That’s very different from deviously planning to harm them. My normal mo is to leave or separate myself from trouble. This would be engaging.
I just tend to be direct. That’s all. I can’t recall anything of this sort ever coming to mind before this morning.
Yes, there is someone in my life like this. It did take me a while to realize it. This person is either an idiot or deliberately pushing my buttons as often as possible. This has gone on for years. I could blast the person to smithereens with a sentence. And it would be hurtful. The kind of hurtful you remember forever and never get over.
Would I feel like I evened the score because I have more power/energy/cutting words that surface easily?
No, I have no interest in blowing someone away. It will just come back on me. I don’t need it. Best to just disconnect. I know what I am capable of if I had no self control.
As time passes you learn how you only undermine yourself.
Now if this person came for me and it was deliberate and nasty, a real blow, the kind that is an unnecessary hurt just for spite or something aimed at my children…. well now we are talking about a bloody war with no ending. Far worse than any words that could come out of my mouth. It would be life changing for everyone involved.
So, I walk away from most things these days. I have no desire to rise from darkness. I have a Scorpio Mercury and a Gemini Mars. I know well what can come flying out of my mouth and its hideous. If you’ve ever been one to sit back and observe people its easy to find their weakness and insecurity. Then, add to it, you don’t like them, they have been rude, insulting and taxing of your time and used you. You are stuck with them and seems there is no way to truly get away.
I actually just took the high road in this situation. And what I gave up to take the high road will cost me for years ….until I am dead actually. But, no thanks to coming back to this again. I will walk now so I don’t have to repeat it again.
That person on the other hand is going to suffer miserably now and in the future. The light for me is that I will play no role in handing down the sentence.
Sometimes when you win, you lose.
And with my recent incident, what was meant to be a loss turns into a win.
I also have that Mars sq Pluto … I rein that in….
Yeah, I tasted it this morning and realized I’d better. I just didn’t know I had the capacity.
I appreciate the insight on the Mars/Mercury conjunction. I have one myself. In Gemini, in the 5th House. I think that for me, I tend to have a really quick mind, and can pick up mental things quickly, but finishing something that has lost my attention, or is mentally dull is much harder than it should be.
This morning, no, there is no one I loathe. I’m thinking I don’t get that far into people anymore. In the past, I tried to understand but my mind can’t afford to get involved in all that confusion anymore. It’s probably an age thing. I just can’t care that much anymore. And what my mind is dealing with, with age, is the sharpening of my senses. I pick up stuff from the environment around me, but I don’t know the language well enough to put it together as fast as I’d like. I need to honor those signals. They are for my own good.
I did laugh at someone else’s thoughts. I was not fond of the person either. Uber behind the scenes destructionist. He said he would just like to grab her nappy head and slam it into the desk. Wap wap wap! (I think he loathes her) It’s a horrible thing but that image relieved tension.
My Mercury exactly squares another’s Pluto–down to the minute. It’s an obsessive love-hate thing for me. They can bring out my best or my worst. But I don’t think they personally care one way or another. Lol
I agree with you notch. I don’t get that far into people anymore either. I think its an age thing too. I do laugh at what I see and hear sometimes but I just don’t have a dog in their fight so I don’t even want to hear about it or support it in anyway….with anything as small as just listening. Take the garbage out, take the bags with you when you go out the door.
I used to really want to soothe someone who needed to vent but now I don’t even want to hear about any of it. I may be becoming more shallow as I age and that is a good thing….you know, walking away from corpses, rants, rage, drama and all that nonsense. I quickly move away from anyone that wants to ‘get it on’ cos I got their get it on but I don’t want to in the ring anymore.
I don’t know how much time I have left but I am sure as hell not going to spend it annihilating some poor s-o-b because I was born with the capacity to do it easily. (and unfortunately I was) The time I have spent loathing has not been time or energy well spent. What a waste. It truly was. My dick is bigger than your dick….no thanks. I already know the outcome. And it wont make me feel better later.
Today I ask for forgiveness for having the thoughts, for what I have done because I didn’t know better. Now that I know better I have to do better. Because ….you know…GOD and all that!!
Still, sitting back watching…for a moment you can chuckle and be entertained…but have to be careful or it will suck you in. It is for my own good that I refrain, and it is for the good of the person trying to bait me that I refrain. My Mars sq Pluto is nasty…. forget all that.
Some say I have become weaker now. lol… if they only knew the strength it takes not to blow them completely off the planet. So, I would rather sit in quiet solitude and enjoy what I have left. I am going to have to pay for the bombs I dropped in the past. That will and has cost me enough even when I didn’t start it. I let them blow their selves up. And, they will. I don’t even want to witness their losses today. Just leave me be. If the sun is shining and I can listen to music, be pain free and enjoy some hours in a day, I am fine with just that much.
It’s inner strength my friend, inner strength. It’s what it takes to survive. The whole ‘you have to fight for your freedom’ thing when really I just needed to ‘find my freedom’ within it all. Oh well, this old card nonsense stuff is extremely boring to anyone elses so nuff said. Be well.
Primrose that is interesting. I have the same problem with the two people that drive me the battiest. Yeah, Pluto problems
I’m Scorpio sun so I absolutely have felt that way and struggle from time to time to control it. I usually try to remember that people don’t know how not to cross the line and age has softened my “I’m paying you back” feelings. But how sweet it is when I hear or,even better, personally observe the person having karma bite them in the a.. Not nice but better that I’m not the one doing it. Now, if someone just persists in tormenting me in some way..well…I can wait years for the right opportunity to even the score. I’m aware of my Scorpio tendencies and respect the power and …don’t pull it out unless pushed to the wall.
I’m starting to realize how much I loathe myself. Luckily there are things I can work on that I think will help. Mainly quitting alcohol.
I have pluto transiting my natal mercury at the moment (17 degrees) in eighth house capricorn. Yes I can relate to all that you say, Elsa. I mean I’m intense most of the time (my sun is here in 8 house cap too and that natal merc is square moon saturn vesta in 12 house aries)I’m getting extreme love and hate from the people around me, that’s what I’m giving out,I think. I’ve gone extreme in the mysticism side of my religion and this is wonderful but not everyone agrees. It’s hard to even talk about it and I often feel I can no longer relate but the intensity doesn’t go away. Death and the dead and dying are closer than before and this makes me deranged on a normal level. I have a trine between pluto and merc in my natal chart and I’m a gemini ascendant so I like these two together. I can bring them under control although I have to keep a tight rein on Pluto, I can get terribly obssessive. I write alot about this stuff and help out with ‘death’ – prayers and ceremonies at the local church. It’s my thing I guess, it helps me deal with the emotional depth, tears, loss, grief and mystery around death. As for the hate and jealousy I never thought I could feel so intensely these ‘bad’ emotions so strongly – prayers help curb the crushing feelings. This was new for me, pluto has opened a part of me I denied and now I have to learn to live with it. I wanted to feel deeply in all aspects and this is part of it too. What’s funny is I’m around a bunch of people exactly the same as me(pluto merc community?)and I’m observing their grief and inner battle, pluto doesn’t hide anything, everything is now visible and it’s interesting (intriguing) and useful. I can build a better picture of the human’s struggle with their inner demons. I don’t like to hate people and do not act on the feelings to be mean, I pray and try to work my strong jupiter, I can feel the power of the destructive side of Pluto and it’s not nice, so I dare not deal it to anyone. Love thy neighbour. I’m not talking here about cop-out but rather about avoiding inner tsunami by dishing out plutonic bombs. I attract real shit at the moment but I’m not going to deal it back, I want to rise above it,, the mysticism study helps. Pluto = transformation, with mercury involved it’s highly mental and I believe the mind can be transcended in many ways in such a transit, doors can be opened permanently.
Mark Twain — ‘Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.’
I’ve got natal mercury combust in saggitarius, together with my asc and star Antares.Then there are these two awful squares to pluto/uranus (I say the things (mostly true) that people don’t wanna hear and to saturn (shut up,girl, all my life. Nobody in my family listens to me).
Moreover, this rascal is the midpoint between my neptune/scorpio and venus/capricorn.Ideal/Imaginary love that affects the mind.A love junkie.I wrote and published (mercury) about it (with a pseudonym,of course). Of course, I teach and speak several languages, so mercurial of me. One of my favourite albums is Mercury Falling, by Sting.
I’m 50 now, and I can say I’ve lost my mind far too many times.I had a hard time. I was diagnosed bipolar at 24 and had several bouts of mania, the trigger always some idealized guy. I was also diagnosed borderline (it shares traits with bipolar)I was three times in a mental hospital (for two or three weeks each time,Thank god)I can count them…at 24,at 25, at 33,at 36,(the very worst),at 42,at 45,and finally at 47. Then I had a light crush but no mania. And now, hormones decreasing, my capability of having kids missed, my libido dropped to minus zero, I live bored but quieter, and medicated. At the most, I can get irritable and nasty,but not full blown manic.So this is what mercury has meant to me.No big deal!
“I was diagnosed bipolar at 24 and had several bouts of mania, the trigger always some idealized guy”.
Life for slow learners… Learned that is my tigger as well.
Yes, have def felt this way :/
I honestly think everyone has a moment like this, at least once in their life. Maybe there’s something in the air that day, maybe the chemicals in our bodies are feeling strange, whatever.
I’m not sure that this means you loath this woman. From what I read, if I read correctly you made an observation of how easy it would be to make her insane. Noticing someone’s weakness is very different than exploiting that weakness. I have 4 planets natally in Virgo including both Mercury and Pluto. I recognize this sort of thing in people all the time often times about people for whom I am quite indifferent. I think it would be different if you considered actually sending her on the spin and gained some pleasure from imagining her downward spiral might mean you loathed her. But otherwise to me I think you were just observant of her weakness and or vulnerability and the fact that you were unwilling to exploit that vulnerability speaks well of your overall character.
So why did the man not slam her nappy head into her desk wap wap wap. Why does he not act on that? Not wanting to be charged with assault on her person, not wanting to do physical harm to another. There would be consequences. I guess that is the differences between a misbehaving mind and one out of control? Is Saturn involved here? And being aware of the consequences? And whether a person has to be responsible and deal with consequences or one who skates by and never has to deal with consequences? Mars is trine Saturn in my chart. I have always had to deal with consequences for my actions. And consequences for non action, which involves what consequences would I rather deal with.
Some new years eve ago, I ended up on a bar stool next to a man crying in his beer. There was a couple on the dance floor, hats and horns, engaged in each other, dancing, in complete oblivion of everything else. He said to me, look at them, my wife and I used to be like that. He came home and his wife was in bed with another man, he didn’t know how it happened but he must have went to the garage and grabbed the shovel. He beat the man with the shovel (fortunately not fatally). That is when he learned what temporary insanity is. Consequences did not enter his mind, and if they did, it didn’t matter at the time.
I’m another Pluto in Virgo person– plus I have Mercury in Pluto widely conjunct… my lack of tolerance is running amok… yesterday at the grocery store there was a lady with her husband and 7 children under the age of 10 paying with food stamps and I normally can make my mind behave itself, focus on something else but I was like OH MY GOD, REALLLLLLLLLLY??? My eyes were crazy… I never said a word but when they finished their transaction and were leaving the man gave me eye daggers back. My usual distractions of finding excuses for people just didn’t work; it was 4 in the afternoon, they both clearly did not have jobs, and I felt horrible for those children.
So what was it about her that ticked you off?
Nothing to warrant feelings like this. That’s my point.
This came up from the sewer, lol.
Oh, like smacking someone who sneaks up on you from behind?
Like a water pipe bursting and spewing water all over…
Uh, yes, lol. I was talking to my oldest last night and told him I thought all the weight I had gained the last six months was due to swallowing all the words I could have used to damage my sociopath work partner. I know part of those things I wanted to say, I kept to myself for protection, wasn’t sure where she would land if I pushed her over the edge, but part of them were too mean even for my sharp Sadge tongue to lash out with. I have learned a great deal about self-control the last few months
Lol! I like what you said about mounting guys in the gym stuff i also have Mercury conjunct Mars in Sag first house im a scorpio rising Gemini 8th house cusp my mind is like porn site… 😀
“Just so long as you know, saying it and doing it, are two different things”
(Steven King 1992)
I found myself infuriated with a woman I see where I go to get coffee. We’ve never spoken but she is always there, typing on her laptop. I have absolute blind hatred for her. Why? I can’t stand what I perceive as a smirking smug expression on her face as she types. She triggers the hell out of me and I am angry whenever I see her. I finally realized she reminds me of bitchy schoolteachers I had as a child whose happiest moments were spent picking kids apart.
Maybe you should by her a latte?
I could but I’d rather leave it alone. We’re strangers and I’d like to keep it that way.
True, but maybe you owe it to yourself? If it turns out she really is a “bitch” than you can feel justified in your assumptions. Otherwise I wouldn’t allow her to take up another moment of your thoughts. Sometimes the bitchiest looking people will surprise you…
Why waste your energy on that stuff and not trust your intuition? Just my take, I’d even go to a different coffee shop.. but I am intense in my need for comfort
You got a lot of air or Sag or Libra, Carolin?
Well yes! Lib Sn/Lib Mn/Scorp Asc/Merc Scorp. The happy go lucky peace keeper, with the detective mind. I sometimes put my foot in my mouth though, with an Aries NN. lol
On the other hand I can put up some pretty good smoke screens, in an attempt to keep prying eyes out. I sometimes look pretty quite bitchy while in this state hehe. And if provoked (Scorp rising), the Queen of Swords (Libra) is not far. She’s pretty good at cutting down an opponent with some choice words and Libran style debate. I guess the heavens can bestow our characters with multifaceted characteristics!
Even if she is a nice person. I don’t owe her anything.
And you would think realizing this would make me find her less irritating. Not at all. Lol.
It would be funny as hell if she actually is a bitchy schoolteacher.
My mind misbehaves like this all the time. I’m not comfortable with it and when it pops up, it disturbs me. I don’t act on it because it would be awful. I’m not mad at the person. I have no feelings of anger or loathing towards them at all. When I loathe someone and feel this way, I’m not disturbed. When they are innocent, I’m disturbed. It’s like I see how I could exploit a weakness. I’ve decided it’s like some primal or animalistic instinct, since people are mammals. A working dog may be useful and helpful to humans, but knows instinctively how to kill or go for another animal’s jugular. A working dog is still an animal at the end of the day, so this is my explanation.