Mercury in Aries vs Mercury in Libra: The Box – 8th House Scorpio Moon Conjunct Neptune

“You watched that stuff yet?”

“No. Too scared,” I said.

“Oh come on. Just put that one cd in. The gold one. Just look at it for one second.”

“What? One second. A second? Why would I do that?”

“Because the first thing you’ll see is me. My face. Come on, E. Just put it in, look at me and then you can stop it. One second.”

“Why?” I asked, cagily.

“Why? Why she asks! Oh man. I just want you to see what I look like!”

“I know what you look like.”

“Arrrrrrgh.”

I asked him once how he survived all those years and all the missions and he told me never let his guard down for a second. “Not for one second,” he said. “Not one, ever,” he added.

And you might not think it possible not to let your guard down for a period of six or nine months or in one case, two years, but I know him, so I just listened and made a mental note to consider this later. Because you can’t assimilate this stuff in the moment, at least I can’t. I have to wait a day or two or three and then let myself wonder about something like this. What’s it like to be always on alert?

So when I finally put that first cd in… the one he said was innocuous, I could see exactly what he meant. He was here and he was there. I have no idea where he was. I don’t know which country is which but he was doing various things, all of them innocuous but that didn’t matter because I could see him scanning. I could see the eyes in the back of his head, always vigilant.

And what I could see, was that he was at WORK! You know. He may be eating breakfast now, but that’s not what he’s going to be doing later. They plan these missions for months, and sometimes years. And they do not fail! At least he doesn’t. If you fail you’re going to be dead so if this is your standard, then you are at work at all times. And this is what was apparent. And aware of the hum around him in every frame, I was deeply stirred.

Later we talked.

“I liked your sandbag house,” I said.

There were several of them living in this fort type thing made of sandbags. There were holes to shoot through and it had little compartments, like bedrooms built in. Very small rooms with sandbags stacked up to make a bed. Or more like a sandbag platform to sleep on. It was a trip. Why are they there, and for how long? I’d wondered.

“And I liked the guys you were with too,” I said. “I was amused.”

“Oh, those guys. Well, they’re dead,” he said.

“Dead?”

“They were killed just a couple days after that was filmed.”

“What? Oh.”

“Yeah. That place got overrun. I came back one morning and found them all…”

He described the scene and it’s a pure horror. He’d told me the story a few years prior and as he talked, the story and the people and their faces and their energy came together in my head.

“That was them?” I asked.

“That was them” he said.

He reminded me the trauma of that day still lingers. He was affected and he still is.

“Well let me ask you something,” I said. “How do you feel when you watch this and see them walking around, just being? You watch this now and then, right?”

“I do.”

“Okay. So there they are alive. And they’re talking and whatever. And when you see them, you know that doesn’t last. So does it bother you? How do you feel?”

“Well, when things like happen? They just happen. And I don’t think much. I think, this is the job. This is the job, man. And this kind of thing that happens when you do this job. As a matter of fact, when it doesn’t happen… when you manage to not be killed on one of these things, it’s usually because of some miracle. Or series of miracles, is more like it.”

“I see. And this is a job they wanted to do?”

“Exactly. Nobody is there who doesn’t want to be there. We all want to be soldiers and this is the kind of soldier we want to be. And everyone knows what can happen, going in. There are no illusions. Everybody knows they could be killed and if it happens, it probably won’t be pretty. It’s just the way it is. You’re there. And if you get overrun, then you get overrun and you are probaly going to be killed.”

“I see,” I said. “Well I’m going to have to think about this some more before I have anything else to say. I didn’t know those guys were dead and now I don’t know what to day.”

“Okay, P.”

He has a Moon Neptune conjunction in Scorpio in the 8th house and Mars in aspect to Saturn.

~~
How do you feel about this? Would this be a comfortable conversation for you, or no?

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Mercury in Aries vs Mercury in Libra: The Box – 8th House Scorpio Moon Conjunct Neptune — 3 Comments

  1. For me it is interesting to see once again how the energetic bundle that we are, zapped into form at the moment of our birth, plays out. I have Neptune in the 8th, no moon conjunct Neptune but it is conjunct Pluto which is the Moon Scorpio resonance, no Mars in aspect to Saturn (a biggy here I would think), although my natal Mars (conjunct Mercury/South Node) is trine that 8th house Neptune.

    So the energies are familiar enough and I wish I had more conversations like these in my life! I would never want to be a soldier because it involves killing other people, and after all my mars is trine Neptune, not square Saturn. But, hooking into aspects, such as the series of miracles it takes not to be killed, (why are those miracle there?) and a willingness to take the risks with eyes wide open (why since that seems to fly against instinctual self-preservation?) I have done the same thing so many times, thinking back on the fact that it is a miracle nothing too terrible ever happened to me and wondering why I would take the risks….but not willing to buy into some astrologers’ explanation of being in a phase of innocent invincibility that needs to be tested, shattered, or anything else.

    The idea of a soldier’s experience of the real and daily possibility of death with others and needing to join resources and forces, maintain trust and work together on a level most never experience, the intensity of it all…it’s interesting and certainly his 8th house energy is being fed. I have had more than the average close people in my life who have died, experienced a few near death situations, and lived in political hotspots where warfare and death was an early part of my life. Trauma does linger, but I have also been personally forced into embracing an orientation towards life that accepts death fairly easily, with a tremendous amount of work on my consciousness and a deep spiritual orientation.

    So, although I don’t truly understand the soldier / defense angle, I can see how it is a path chosen to allow these energies movement and flow.

  2. oh- I would want to know it all. For some morbid reason ( 8th house moon?) I am interested in understanding the line between self-defense and attack, about real threat and perceived threat, about killing or being killed. My work is on extreme right political parties – more psychological warfare than actual warfare. At the same time, all of it makes me sick and I wonder why we can’t just get along. I’d be a terrible soldier, I would want to make friends with the enemy…

  3. I don’t know.
    On the one hand, I’m comfortable discussing this kind of thing as long as the other person is (if you can live it, the least I can do is listen to it). On the other, I would be horrified to connect these guys with a tragedy I had only intellectually understood before.

    Example: When he was younger, my fiance’s family raised rabbits for meat. When I got my pet bunny, he told me some stories. The first was about a rabbit that the littermates had rejected and almost killed, the other was about the first rabbit he ever had to kill himself. It wasn’t until years later that I learned *they were the same rabbit.* And I was appalled! Because this poor bunny had a horrible, horrible, miserably short life and a bad death. It seriously put me in a funk for days, whereas the two seemingly unconnected stories had only made me peripherally upset.

    8th house Moon trine my Mars/Venus/Pluto conjunction, square Uranus.

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