This morning my sister got up at 3:30 in the morning and went to the 24 hour laundromat, two and a half blocks from her apartment. Like me, she’s an early riser. She returned home and found her husband had died in their bed.
My sister loved her husband. He was her life.
She called the police and then then she called me as the paramedics prepared to move his body. It was beyond intense.
I’ve talked to her five or six times today. She’s still in shock, with reality creeping in. It’s so traumatic.
Nothing like this has happened to anyone in my family. Her husband has been in the hospital over the last year, very near death several times. She was prepared for him to die during those periods, but she was not prepared for this. She was totally blindsided today.
So we’ve talked about death all day. My husband expects to die before I do, and he tries to prepare for this. I feel he’s done a good job of this. I am as prepared as a person can be, but then I witness what happened to my sister and I realize there is no way you can be prepared.
Mercury and Saturn are conjunct her Mars in Scorpio today. Uranus, Pluto, the Sun, Moon and Jupiter are involved in a grand cross, that aspect her natal Venus in Capricorn.
It may have been his time, but it doesn’t make it any easier. His mother is 95 years old.
My sincere condolences to your sister and family, Elsa…what a sad thing to have happened. I’m sorry.
Sorry to hear that.. I hope she continues to gain the support in this vulnerable time. My condolences.
Much love to your sister Elsa. I am so sorry 🙁
Oh no! The Sadge sister- so sorry to hear this. After all they’ve been through. .wow. What a shock. I am so sure I’d like her. I will be thinking of her. I’m sure you are a great comfort to her, Elsa. Sad news.
OMG! This is heartbreaking! I am so sorry to see this. Good grief, it has been tough….. Elsa is this Annalisa’s husband? I am so very sorry to read this. Which ever sister, sending my condolences to you and your family. How heart wrenching!
Sorry, it is not Annalisa’s husband. This is my older sister.
Oh how awful- and so shocking. I am so very sorry for your loss. Wishing strength and wholeness to your sister and to you. May you both be comforted and find solace.
Re astro- Conversations centered on health crises in people have prevailed at work and at home.
Our hearts are with you- there are no words.
I’m so sorry! I give you my sincere condolences for you and your sister’s loss.
Sending prayers of comfort and love to you and your family.
Uranus, isn’t it – shocking change. Yes, Merc in Scorp – deathtalk. BTW, my pa way older than my ma and she was right that she’d go first. He never saw that coming and suicide talk happened after the fact. Maybe your husband could be wrong. Remember that bit about we all carry our coffin under our arm but some of us don’t know it. Death has its own agenda.
My deepest condolences, Elsa, to you and your family.
Deepest Condolences to your sister – difficult to come to terms with to lose someone so close .
What a chock for all of you. I send you my sincere condolences.
=( I’m sorry to read this =(
Sending lots of love to your sister… what a horrible, horrible shock =(
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your family.
It is such a terrible shock.
I’m so sorry for your sister and your family, Elsa.
No, you can never be prepared for death…even when you know it’s coming.
I still recall when you talked about his condition and mentioned how crazy she was about her husband. I remember being beyond moved. This breaks my heart.
Thank you, everyone.
I spoke with my friend, denamaria last night, she has seen a lot of death. Both her parents are dead.
She said she could understand the shock. Even when you’re expecting it, you don’t expect it. Someone may be dying, but not TODAY.
She mentioned visiting her dying mother, daily. Every day, it was, “See you tomorrow.” Then one day she showed up and her mother was in coma. In a coma, and then gone.
But that morning she showed up, she was shocked. “But wait! There was more were were going to talk about. We were going to talk X today…”
You think you’re going to have some warning…your loved one gets sick, degrades…
But even when it goes that way, you may still not be prepared.
My husband is very worried about me going off the deep end, if he dies. He’s seen a lot of women do this, having been in the military for so many years.
I would like to not to that myself, but I really don’t know.
I have not heard from sister yet today. She is CA so it;s earlier there. I hope she’s sleeping, though she is probably not. She gets up at 3:30 to do laundry, right?
I know what she was doing. She was doing laundry, intending to come home and make breakfast for her husband. She was “bootling” (search it on the blog), which is something we have in common.
Oh man. It’s all so deep and significant.
((((Elsa and family))))
Elsa: I am SO sorry to hear about this loss in your family, and for your sister (did not use her name because you didn’t) losing her husband. May he rest in peace, and may the healing of hearts be swift.
Oh: okay, I just read your comment about which sister.
My condolences to you & your family.
It’s their absence in your life which is hardest of all.
Memories LOVE them & hold them.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending love to you and your family.
((((Elsa and family))))
Very sorry to hear the news Elsa. This must be very hard. Strength and good vibes to you, your sister and the family
So sorry to hear this news 🙁
I am so sorry for your loss..
Condolences to you and your family..
(((Elsa and family)))
Oh Elsa, so sad to read this. I can’t speak for everyone in Elsa Elsa land but I know many of us feel close to you because you lead and teach by sharing, so we all feel like we know your family. My thoughts are with your sister, you and your family. Prayers going up for all.
May God hold you all in the palm of his hand.
very sorry for your sister’s loss, elsa… my thoughts and prayers are with your family and your brother in-law’s family…
She’s moving here, moving in with us.
I am so very sorry. Prayers and hugs to you and your sister
I’ve heard it said by hospice workers that often the dying person who is very close and connected to someone & knows how hard his/her death will be felt by the survivor, will purposefully wait for an opportunity when the family member is away or out of the room to die.
It’s as if the dying person needs to have that moment of separation in order to let go.
I know none of this makes it any easier for your sister. I just hope she doesn’t feel bad about not being there when it happened. It probably could not have happened any other way than the way that it did.
She’s lucky she’s got you for a sister.
Thank you, Lakshmi. Something similar occurred to me today. As bad as this was, I am glad she was not there to see him die. Clutching his chest or gasping for breath or whatever it was.
Oh man. I just don’t know. Our lives are all changed now. I never, in a million years thought my oldest sister would live with me. I have not seen her for more than 20 years…I went to LA for a visit.
She’s not traveled since the 1980’s. I bought her a ticket today and she asked me if she could bring cash on a plane. Said she didn’t know what affect the terrorists have had.
She also asked me if she could bring her cell phone on a plane.
She is now going to leave LA after 40 years, with whatever she can fit in two suitcases. These transits are something else.
My great aunt did that. We had her at her home with hospice, and my sister said one day that Jane would hate everyone looking at her that way. People would just come and stare, especially as she got sicker. I was by her side much of the time, including when she died. I’d keep staring to make sure she was still breathing.
One day my mother came over to switch off sitting duty with me, and she brought me a plate of food to eat. Another aunt stopped by. She’d come by on her lunch hour, so she was eating, too. And while the three of us were eating and laughing, telling family stories, Jane slipped away.
Sincere condolences to you and your family at this difficult time Elsa. She’s going to stay with you.. good, she shouldn’t be alone too much. Keep her busy.
My sisters mother in law told me the story of when her husband died in his sleep next to her. She woke just as he passed. The way she told it, it was the most heart wrenching love story. They adored each other and had been married for over 40 years. They made it through the fall of the wall and the war in Germany. He died in his sleep next to her in Australia at home. She didn’t call the paramedics right away. She lay next to him, holding him, long after his body had turned cold. She said she just couldn’t bare to give him up. She never got over the loss. We knew he had cancer. He had been ill a long time, but we were all so shocked when the time came, yet we had been waiting.
I’m so sorry your sister is dealing with this loss, it is indeed tremendous to lose your beloved partner and family member. I’m so glad she has you to love her and care for her. All the best.
Thanks, Fushion. Appreciate it.
My husband is very worried about her. He’s seen a lot of women lose their husband and go ’round the bend. We’re going to do everything we can to help her.
I’m so sorry about your loss Elsa. I hope your sister and your family get the support you need during this time. I hope you find comfort in each other and stay strong.
I’m so sorry and so sad for Aannalisa and you Elsa.
We are NEVER quite ready for this reality no matter how hard we try….My condolences…YOU Ms Elsa now have to be her ROCK….Many Many Prayers…may Merc in Scorpio guide your speech!
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
So sorry to read this sad news. Sudden deaths like this are probably easier on the person who is leaving but very difficult for their family who have no preparation time on any level. Wishing you all strength and patience in dealing with this loss.
WOW – so intense in so many ways! My sincere condolences… despite the major upheaval and chaos, may her relocation provide stability, nurturing, and love during this fragile time. No matter distance and time, the bond of sisters remains powerful. My thoughts are with you ~*
Elsa-I am very sorry to hear about you and your sisters loss. God Bless.
Oh Dear El, I flit in here and fall out so often amidst my own life unraveling– sorry to be late yet again, sincere condolences to you, your sister and all who loved her hubby.
Thank you. I’m really sorry things are rough. 🙁
Thanks everyone else, as well. 🙂 Much appreciated.