Men, Women, Venus And Mars In Nature

greece.jpgLast weekend I went the liquor store for some wine and came home with the report.

“Yeah there was this guy in there and he made all these remarks about my skirt. He liked my skirt, the color of it. It was strange he was all over the thing. Man, look at that green. I’ve never seen a skirt like that.”

“I bet,” the soldier said.

But the skirt is unusual. It’s a very bright green and few would try to wear it. You’ve got to have an attitude.

“Yeah, he was falling down. And then he said, not that I pay attention to women’s fashion. It’s like he was embarrassed to have noticed and commented in my skirt.”

“Hmm.”

“So he worked there, see. So I asked him where the Greek wine was…”

The soldier interrupted, “And he said, so this is what kind of exotic bitch this is.”

“Bitch? Exotic bitch?” I asked sort of one half flabbergasted. “Is that what he thought?”

“Yeah.”

I was going to inquire if he might be trying to make the guy look bad but realized he was probably right. “That’s how men think?”

“Uh huh.”

“Women don’t think like that. They don’t think, oh that’s this kind of exotic bastard.”

“I know.”

“But from now on, I’m going to start.”

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Men, Women, Venus And Mars In Nature — 24 Comments

  1. Glad you are getting noticed in the bottle shop Elsa. Greek Wine and Green Skirt sounds like unique kind of night. Did the ‘Taurarse’ Soldier get jealous when you told him that?

    hope everyone is enjoying the Mercury-retro chironograde.

    k

  2. kingsley – he didn’t get jealous, he is jealous and so am I, 24 hours a day. It is purely a constant thing neither of us can do anything about, it’s just hopeless.

  3. Hahahahahahha!!! I do think like that.

    ‘Oh. Football player eh?”Dudley DoRight”Asshole’ ‘Mysogynist”Hot”Nice”Pretentious’ Its a mentality/posture/outfit thing I think. I catch a vibe, categorize, and decide if they merit further study.

  4. Oh, okay, so these gut-burning feelings of jealousy are normal. Whew. So you really can’t do anything about it?
    Yeah, I guess I was starting to realize that they just ARE.

  5. I would not think ‘who is that exotic bitch?’ Exotic yes, unique, interesting, attractive, greek wine, interesting, she must like really dry wine. Wow that is a nice dress I better say something or stop looking at her dress, but bitch no I don’t think so.

  6. Jealousy is the anger about the prospect (scare) of being rejected. It could be a way in which you keep together Elsa. It would be very easy for either of you to get each other angry if you needed to do that. When I say angry, that could mean passionate too; to constantly live in the “now” of the relationship. In a way that may help to reinforce your attachment with each other. I can’t see a problem with that, its just that when the relationship is going through growing pains it will helpful for the both of you to be aware of that happening.

    kingsley

  7. I don’t love jealousy. ๐Ÿ™
    I don’t actually even think they’re that “normal” – I mean, they’re okay if you’re okay with it, but I wouldn’t want it in my life. (Cappy girl)

  8. at doublecappy: don’t know if your comment was to anyone specific, but I’m going to respond anyway. This is the first time I have experienced jealousy. (!) It sucks, big time. I guess this is the first time that I have really cared, and yeah, as Kingsley says, it’s all about the fear of being rejected, and fearing that the person you care for doesn’t have the same depth of feeling that you do.

  9. Yeah, Michele, I guess I just imagined if you (not you personally) were with the right person, there wouldn’t be a worry. I haven’t found that yet, but if anyone made me feel jealous (threatened), I don’t think I could attach myself. I’ve been dating lately, and meeting a lot of men who don’t stir that in me – the last 10 years of my life I spent living with jealousy and I don’t really want any part of it any more.

  10. doublecappy, was that your jealousy, or someone else’s?
    I’m not sure that for me it’s about if it’s the right person or not. I was with someone for almost 17 years, and I don’t think I ever felt jealous even once. Now that I have felt it, I think I would question a relationship if I didn’t feel it. ?!!!! (Not strong enough feelings, I guess?)

    So, doublecappy, what do you think about what I just said? Would you say then, that you don’t agree about the feelings not being strong enough if you don’t feel at all jealous?

  11. Michele,

    It was my jealousy – and it was warranted. The man cheated, looked at porn, and went on personals sites. I didn’t feel that way in the next relationship – I never felt threatened or jealous, and I was deeply in love. So . . . I guess I can’t identify with your theory about strong emotions = jealousy. I think strong emotions can mean a lot of things – passion, projection, insecurity, jealousy, fear . . .

    At this point, I’m kind of aiming for something like my friend has – a husband who is a good dad, stable, reliable, her friend and lover. He’s a pilot and travels a lot and she said “I never feel jealous.”

    I have too many other things I want to feel and be and do and jealousy is not one of them. But that’s probably very Capricorn of me.

  12. I haven’t seen anyone mention possessiveness. I think in some cases possessiveness might me a more appropriate word. jealousy, to me implies that you want something someone else has, whether you thought it was yours or not. possessiveness means to me that, “this is mine and you can’t have it.”

    I think possessiveness is a spectrum. I actually like someone to be at least a LITTLE possessive of me in a relationship. there’s a line from a song: “it draws the circle we stand within.”

  13. Doublecappy – I am a Scorpio who has been chasing another Scorpio (perhaps just a little too hard) and was given reason to be jealous. Now I have realized that it was just smoke, and am trying to ease up just a little.

    I liked your comments, Satori. Possessiveness does seem like a good way to describe it. I just know what I feel, whatever label you give it! I think that circle (perimeter) idea that you and Elsa mentioned will probably stick in my head forever, now!

  14. Yeah, I guess the idea of possessing someone else doesn’t really appeal to me. I like the idea of them choosing to be with me, willingly.

    I recently got into something that made me feel jealous, and I ended it. And with that, I noticed, that qualities and things certain men have make me want to “possess” those things or qualities – (i.e., the appearance of aloofness, intelligence, stuff like that) – and that’s all about me, not them.

  15. Wow, very astute of you Doublecappy.

    I pay very close attention to my (and others) motivation for doing things. Haven’t noticed anything like that, at least not with this guy.

    It’s purely, “I want some more of that!” lol

  16. “the idea of possessing someone else doesnโ€™t really appeal to me. I like the idea of them choosing to be with me, willingly.”

    I feel the same way doublecappy. I tend to feel that if I need to be possessive with someone then they don’t want me enough, and well what would be the point? I’d rather them willingly pick me every time or not at all.

    It’s really interesting learning about all the different ways people ‘instinctually’ respond. I never really thought there could be so much variation, but we are all so different!

    I’ve never felt jealousy as the “fear of being rejected”, or possessiveness of someone I love. When I’m afraid of being rejected I don’t fight, I just give up and run. I’m instinctively avoidant. I figure I’m not wanted so what would be the point of fighting? This possessive kind of jealousy seems to me like there are too many lines being drawn: he’s mine, she’s mine, this and that is ‘mine’. It’s territorial. I think it shows strong emotions yes, but not necessarily strong love or loyalty. You can be jealous and still cheat on someone, no? And man, it just feels too controlling! I don’t belong to anybody ๐Ÿ™‚

    On the other hand, I can definitely identify with jealousy as competition: “fear of being outdone”. An instinctive feeling of wanting to be better than the others, all the time. I don’t particularly care if my partner talks to others, has other interests, in fact, I kind of like it if he’s social – as long as I’m his number ONE. I need to be first and best on his list by far, or I don’t want to bother at all. I want him to save the best for ME. If he thinks more highly of someone else, then I’m jealous! It’s not that I want what others have, it’s that I want to have better than what others have.

  17. I know a couple who have Mars in Scorp on the Asc. of their composite chart. It is truly “till death do us part”. There is also a Pluto/Moon conjunction on the Midheaven, opposing Chiron in Pisces. She is the Pluto, he is the Chiron. She controls the entire relationship and when he tries to break free, she uses guilt and manipulation to get what she wants. She refers to him not by name, but by “my husband”. I can only see these kinds of relationships as karmic; there is something each party is supposed to learn. Control and manipulation is such a huge part of lower Scorp. energies, and if you were to suggest to her that she is controlling and manipulative, she would say “so what’s your point?” It’s SURVIVAL, BABY. That said, she was diagnosed with cancer recently, Stage III. What we refuse to see, what we refuse to learn, eventually makes itself known, one way or the other. I think jealousy is a “signal” to be paid attention to; what it is signalling can only be determined by the soul experiencing it, but usually the birthchart tells a good deal about the source of the need to control.

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