How To Spot A Man Who Hates Women

zodiac poncho vintageHi, I recently read one of our old blogs, and would like a follow up question on it. The blog was about when you were with your daughter in a car, listening to a musician. You told her that if she were to pick a man, she must make sure that she knows he LIKES women. That he absolutely loves them.

So how would you know that a man absolutely love women, not here to sabotage, but to love them. Would the moon be afflicted in his chart? What about Venus? If the moon represent the mother or wife, and Venus represents the “younger” sexy girls, what does it do if, lets say, moon is afflicted but Venus is not?

Also, with no knowledge of astrology, how can you tell when you first meet a man socially if he loves women? What do you see? What should you notice?

I remember the day I lectured my daughter but can’t find the post either. Here is a close faximile though, at least I referenced the incident.

Anyone want to field this? How do you tell when a man does not like women? How about a woman who does not like men because this is just as common.

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How To Spot A Man Who Hates Women — 41 Comments

  1. Oh, I have a very good example of this.

    First of all, if you meet a man who casually (and even involuntarily) drops phrases like, “Women are so…” or “Women always…”.

    It seems innocent, but it’s not. Whenever you catch someone defining an entire sex, that bespeaks fear… they are attempting to pour half of humanity into a box that they have defined. I used to not mind when men talked like this (I thought it was silly, but not a big deal), but every time I’ve ended up around someone who was absolutely dysfunctional around women, he started out with these little token phrases… not during a discussion of the sexes, where such things would be expected, but just here and there, everywhere in conversation. “Yeah, women are like that.” Or even more sinister, “Girls are like that.”

    I met a man who absolutely hated women, and disguised it very well until I’d known him for several weeks. But somehow, he was obsessed about talking about the differences between the sexes. He made valid points and never said anything overtly offensive, but he JUST KEPT BRINGING IT UP. Then, one day, he exploded and started ranting and raving and saying absolutely horrible, disgusting things about women, and I had to get away (fortunately this was all conducted online). When he finally let it all hang out for me, I realized he’d been telling me the whole time that he thought I was an alien creature, not a human being at all.

    He also used to overuse affectionate words like “hon” — now, I’ve never in my life minded being called “honey” or “darlin”, I live in the south, I use those words too. But this guy? He overused it. Every other sentence had a “hon” in it. It was a particularly abrasive way of speaking, and after a while, it started to make me feel very uncomfortable. In fact, he was diminishing me in his own mind every time he said that. Pay attention to your feelings whenever he says a word that refers to you, even if it’s just your name. Pay special attention if he won’t use your name at all.

    If you pick up resentment for any behavior that doesn’t warrant it, run. Something is being assigned to you on behalf of your sex, race, hairdo, whatever… he’s not looking at you anymore, he’s resenting you on behalf of the hurt done him by someone else.

  2. This is interesting because just last night I was talking with a friend about two sci/fi shows (three, actually) and how the writers in each portray women. She’s had lots of time this past winter to think this one through because she broke her leg and spent days and DAYS watching old TV series via Netflix–without commercial breaks. And watching them one after another allowed her to see the writers’ choices in an obvious way.

    We concluded that Josh Whedon has issues with women, as in not-quite-mature-about-them-yet, whereas whoever’s writing Battlestar Galactica is producing multi-dimensional, complicated women a grown woman viewer could respect. It’s a feat to get a middle-aged woman to buy into a sci-fi show, period.

    So no crackers in bed with Mr. Whedon–he just doesn’t get women.

  3. Maybe just look at how a man cares for his “stuff”. I think you can deduce quite a lot about how a man will care for people–especially women–by how he cares for THINGS. Is he into the appearance of his stuff? Does it have to be BIG? NEW? POWERFUL? Then maybe his only looking for arm candy. Could he care less about the clutter around his place because he can only see how the appliances and the stereo/TV is functioning? He might be looking for a robot/housekeeper instead of a real woman, then…

    I think you all can extrapolate on this theory.

  4. From what I’ve seen, the men that hate women have BIG anger- Mars/Saturn or something like that in their chart (probably Mars/Pluto). I don’t know if it’s a case of “hate women” so much as they desperately want to put someone down beneath them and they find women to be an easy target in order to do that.

    I find it interesting to watch the behavior of a woman-hater I know who refuses to take care of himself in any way and HAD to immediately go out and find another wife after his first wife left him. He screams at her for nothing all the damn time, but starts kissing ass once he remembers, “Oh, I’ll have to dial the pizza joint myself and get off my ass to answer the door if I get rid of her.”

  5. A man who really loves women – I’ve been lucky enough to have one or two in my life. These are the men who actually listen to what you have to say, who are respectful to you always, who are a little indulgent and even a little sentimental. I had a boyfriend who brought me flowers once in a while …. just because. Over 3 years together it may have been 4 or 6 times, but it could have been only once and the motivation is still the same. The same guy was the one who helped me figure out patterns of my depressive episodes, and I was pretty crazy when he and I were together. I probably wouldn’t have gone to therapy without his help, and if that isn’t love I dunno what is.

    Contrast this with the boyfriend who brought me flowers when he’d done something behind my back that he thought would piss me off and felt guilty. Mmmhmmm. The same boyfriend did the one thing I asked him not to do, lied to me about it, then called his friends and told them about what he’d done … while I was in the next room within earshot.

    It’s stereotypical, but if you get a chance to see how a man interacts with his mother … take it. Boyfriend #1 was sweet to his mom, even when she was nigh unto unbearable to him. He made sure she was taken care of, that her living conditions were good, that she was as happy as she could be. He had a line, though, and he put his foot down when he needed to – but even then it was with love and understanding. Boyfriend #2 had a very strange relationship with his mother that seemed more like brother-sister or fighting boyfriend-girlfriend.

  6. I definitely think difficult aspects to a man’s moon can indicate problems relating to women. I for one embrace the theory that if you want to know how a man is going to treat you in 10 years watch how he treats his mother and waitresses- both moon figures. To me a man’s Venus is represented much more during the courting phase of relationships and therefore isn’t really reflective of the interaction your going to get if you stick with the guy.If you want to know how he is going to interact with you when you settle into the relationship pay close attention to any difficult aspects he may have to the moon and the planets he has in the fourth house.

  7. HA!

    I don’t think (getting back to the general point), it’s a like/not like proposition. I think the question is: “What does a man want from a woman?” The psychology of liking and not liking is more about HIM than her.

  8. @Shannon:

    I’m just confused. The boyfriend who did things behind your back, who just there to make-up, maybe he’s just an a–hole? Maybe he’s just a dick all around. I can’t see how that’s related to women though, I mean, would he do that to his boss if he was a man? I can’t differtiate someone who’s an a–hole all around, and someone who’s just has misinterpret women and want to sabotage them. Is there a difference?

    What about those mama boys that treat their women like crap? I dated one (a cancer) who was praised by his mother to the point that he’s overly cnfident in his charm and is just a “player.” I guess you really have to study that relationship with his mother. Maybe she was a pushover and he thought he could have his way like that with women.

  9. My mother always told me to look at a guy’s relationship with his mother. Is it healthy? Does he have a healthy attitude toward her (respectful, yet not defending her)? Do they (or did they) have pleasant, respectful conversations? You know, the basics.

    I do agree with my mother’s advise in that this is very telling. For the record, though I didn’t exactly follow her advise.

    My hubby does not have a healthy relationship with his mother. It isn’t horrible, she’s just not a very compassionate mother (my mom was). I knew this going into it. I remember the day we were leaving his parents house after a visit. That moment plays through my mind as if it was yesterday. I was at a Y in the road; it was so black and white. I knew it was going to be a challenging relationship b/c of the exchanges I witnessed b/t them.

    I had to consider everything though. He was kind and affectionate toward me, so that was huge. He achieve some great things despite her lack of support (or in spite of;)

    Since he didn’t have any sisters, the mother was his example of what a woman is for most of his life. This would be challenging.

    But, most importantly, he and I were connected at a level I can’t articulate. I didn’t make some conscious decision like weighed out pros and cons, I just knew he was my soul mate.

    All that said, we have our challenges. I had a tough relationship with my father. This combo creates some interesting reactions. But, we can understand each other. We’re working in our own ways to neutralize our “stuff.”

    I suspect there are other guys out there with whom I could have an “easier” relationship…maybe. But, I also wouldn’t feel the connection that I do. And, we wouldn’t be working to clear our stuff.

    I guess the moral of my story is that there really is no one formula, but many factors to consider.

    I wish you all the best.
    Pisces

  10. To Sam….difficult aspects to the moon is key. My recent boyfriend has a lovely warm Venus – on my Ascendant actually, but then he has the Moon conjunct Saturn in Aquarius. WHat a shock after all the passion to get complete detachment – as in no touch, or as little as he could manage. He also never liked calling me by my name as my clan does and he also bought me flowers all the time?!!

  11. My SO and I both have moon conjunct saturn in our charts and we are not cold to each other. We are pretty emotionally dedicated actually…but we are also just married. Maybe since we are waited until our mid-thirties to marry it is a very grounded and loving relatioship. We talk alot. We both have that conjunction in gemini!

    He has his sun/merc and venus square to his moon. He does get along really well with his mom and I mean really well. They are very very similar and talk occasionally. He is not a mama’s boy, but seems to respect her on most levels.

    I could look at our synastry and worry a bit, but I already see how things are playing out so I am not worried. I love him terribly.

    I just recalled an ex who had a moon/sun square and he cared for his mother but had huge issues. He had huge issues in general though. Can’t recollect the rest of his chart…

  12. I have never been with a man who doesn’t like women. I am a Cap Rising/Sun with Moon/Venus/Mars Aquarius and I feel talked down to really fast.

    I can recognize men who have issues with women because I have difficulties with feminine energy, and I can spot when someone else does, and as much as I’d like to say “I’m not having any of that” beyond that fact men who don’t like women are actually intimidated by me (they know I would trash them loudly and call them out)…they can sense it so I hardly have had to combat that energy.

    Lots of Cancer in personal planets with men I’ve dated. (Cancer Risings, Cancer Venus, Mars, Ect…) I have also noticed Pisces/Virgo energy around some of my men they have respect for the “sacred feminine”.

    I would look to the moon myself, as stated before…but I think Cancer/Pisces in key places can really make a man in touch with their feminine side.

    @ s on Joss Whedon:

    I actually loved his portrayal of women on Serenity …now he may not “get” women completely, but you can tell he LIKES WOMEN!! He certainly likes his women tough with a soft way underneath, or in the case of Inara, a soft woman with a tough inner core.

    You can tell he has a real respect for women and sees them as strong saviors…I mean his least likable character was Capt. Mal and Capt. Mal’s “security” was a woman, his mechanic was a woman, and his constant stream of income (not from criminal activity) was from Inara! The women save the day in many episodes!! The men were really put off as a just a peg dumber than the women, or subservient to them.

    Joss is a Cancer (surprise, surprise!) with Venus, Mars, and Merc in Gemini…he likes his women to be volatile. So while he may not “get” women, I can’t say he’s not a feminist!!

    In my humble opinion! πŸ˜›

    As for me, I don’t expect men to get women, or women to fully get men…men with a curiosity about women and their lives I find myself attracted to…because they have this feeling like we are so much more…I like that. It’s not about answering, but rather asking the questions that make men love women.

  13. @ M – oh, he was definitely an a-hole, but I think if I’d looked at how he and his mom got along earlier in the relationship, I’d have seen it coming. I guess it’s way more complex than I could set down in a comment πŸ™‚

  14. I gotta geek out here cos, well, JOSS WHEDON! I’ve been watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog, yesterday and today (drhorrible dot com) and I’m thinking that Joss seems to like women WAY more than men! I think the men and women in his universe are very complicated and multidimensional, but the women tend to resolve in redemption where the men are more likely to reveal worse and worse sides of themselves in an ever worsening spiral. yet both sexes, very likable.

    I’m currently rooting for the villain to vanquish the hero and take over the world. I shudder to think what this says about me.

  15. Care of Wikipedia:

    ‘Whedon identifies himself as a feminist, and feminist themes are common in his work. For his part, Whedon credits his mother, Lee Stearns, as the inspiration for his feminist worldview. When Roseanne Barr asked him how he could write so well for women, he replied, “If you met my mom, you wouldn’t ask.” ‘

    WHAT A CRAB!

    lol @satori πŸ˜›

    “I’m currently rooting for the villain to vanquish the hero and take over the world. I shudder to think what this says about me.”

  16. To all about Whedon: I guess I ought to break my leg and invest some time into Firefly and Buffy so I can form my own opinion on his shows! πŸ˜‰ No one’s taking the bait on BSG?

  17. I haven’t watched it yet, but I know I will someday. hopefully not with a broken leg.

    I have all the buffy dvd’s but the second season. I have firefly on itunes. I’m also an NG trekkie. I feel like I just outed myself as a bedwetter or something. (I swear I’m not)

  18. yeah, BSG is really that good πŸ˜‰

    …one of the guys i dated who hated women portrayed all his exes as crazy in the exact same way. so i was (eventually) unsurprised he kept trying to make me “crazy” too.
    like, really, i’m not upset, i’m just tapping my toes to the music, what???

    if a man can respectfully disagree with you and appreciate you and not put you down or demean you it’s a darn good sign.
    some of them are really subtle about it at first. pay attention to how they talk about other women. and, yeh, their moms especially, but women in general.

  19. I adore Joss Whedon to death and I just want to re-recommend Buffy and Firefly to everyone. Just sayin’.

    He refers to himself as a feminist often and he’s very interested in the roles women play — you should check out the number of hits you get on Google when you search for “Buffy” and “feminism”.

  20. yeah, at the end of the buffy series “the slayer” was rendered unnecessary since whatevertheheckitwas they did in the finale activated some gene in every female, effectively making EVERY woman a potential superhero. cool.

    I’m saving BSG like I saved Firefly. I didn’t watch firefly till I really needed it. it got me through a tough time. I also keep emergency chocolate in my skivvy drawer.

    I can’t really speak to the “how they treat their mother” issue as I tend to get involved with men who may be overly close to their mothers.

  21. That dude sounds like a real wanker Ewenbee, the ‘hon’ guy. Uck! I agree with your whole post also, I won’t get sucked in to grouping people in such a general way and people who do that obviously have issues around that.

    I respectfully disagree with the theory about the clutter. As a clutter prone person myself (ADD) I have to say that we really can’t help it and it has nothing to do with how much we love anyone or any group of people. But yes, maybe the big shiny things like corvette, shows self absorption which rules out really loving anyone but self.

    I very much agree with Sam on the moon and the 4th house.

    Jennifer, that is a hilarous example. One time that happened to me that the man would not get off his ass and answer the door for the pizza even though i was bogged down with something at that moment. Well fuck that! I threw his ass out the door right then and there and never saw him again. I can’t remember what happened to the pizza πŸ˜‰

    Yeah, wyrdling, listen to how they talk about their exes. If ALL their exes are “crazed violent wacko whores” all I can see is the common theme, namely, the man himself.

    Looking at the moon, I would say that moon/saturn is not fatal in and of itself although, depending on house placement and rulership and other variables linked to the moon/saturn, strange and twisted relationships with the mother may well be present, and/or the man may go for older women.

    For a real anti-women thing, I would look for a highly afflicted moon, not just a moon saturn. For example, a Moon hemmed in by malifics by close degree (say like, a Mars, Moon, South Node conjunction [stellium], maybe in Scorpio, where the moon is weak, and then aspected by yet another malific planet, say saturn). Throw this entire configuration in the 8th or 12th house, maybe even worse. Also, I like to look at the condition of the moon as far as how bright it is and whether it is waxing or waning. The strongest moon is waxing and 100% of full, and that strength can override many other challenges. Vice versa, a very dim moon, say like, under 10 percent and waning, that will not be able to hold it’s own very well and will be more damaged by poor placement and harsh conjunctions and aspects.

    Also, what house does cancer rule? What does the house represent and how is it occupied/aspected? That will tie back in with the moon.

    The forth house is a whole other discussion, but all I will say is that I think it is extremely important.

  22. When a guy tells you he loves women…he doesn’t! I had a boyfriend once who told me that within the first few minutes. He turned out to be a huge woman hater. If a man really likes women, he doesn’t need to go around broadcasting it.

  23. Sometimes I don’t like men. Venus square Mars. It’s a can’t live with em, can’t live without em
    situation. On the flipside of that I tend to attract men who don’t like women. They want to conquer me.
    I am working on this. Trying to retrain my brain. I consciously tell myself: there are good men out there. I realized that I probably wouldn’t find a good one if I hated them πŸ™‚ I have been meeting more men who like women lately because of this.

    My father is a prime example of a woman hater. He’s a double Cancer. It’s based on fear and insecurity and it’s obvious to everyone but him.

    I haven’t been able to pinpoint a red flag that indicates this other than how they talk about their mother and other women in their life.

  24. Great little article. I was spooked recently when I heard a friend declare, “I love women, really I do!” First, I thought, why he is defending such a position because I don’t think anyone called his bluff…or was it reverse psych? I just found it a bit strange. Got me thinking about the two relationships in my life, the first guy who hated his mother, complete sociopath. The second, a good relationship with his mom and his Venus plays out, well fair enough. That, or thank g-d I understand it!

  25. If a man really listens to women, he usually like them. Men who choose to spend time just talking with women and doing things with them – having dinner, going to a movie or an art exhibition or whatever, almost always like women as people.

    By contrast men who prefer to do most of their socialising with other men often don’t like women much at all and see them more as conquests, or housekeepers (the virgin/mother/whore syndrome). Such men are often very keen on sports and similar pastimes which are mostly sexually segregated. And agreed, they tend to make sweeping and often derogatory remarks about ‘women’ in general. They are also the ones who won’t take no for an answer! I find them quite easy to spot.

    Beware however: men who genuinely like women don’t necessarily treat them all that well in intimate relationships. Two or three of the men I’ve loved best but who’ve hurt me most (and a couple of close men friends) truly do LIKE women and enjoy their company – but they like having LOTS of women around … and esp find it hard to resist when women throw themselves their way

  26. My sister revealed something about her abusive ex. He was nice to her until they signed the house papers. Then he didn’t think he had to do it anymore. After that he got nasty. Yes there were red flags and the biggest was his relationship to his ex who he constantly spoke of abusively, his relationship to his father who was abusive to him, and his relationship to his mother. She always backed her husband and was a wisp of a woman. Now my sister is the ^&*%&& ex who’s raising his 2nd son.

    That is not a man who loves women. A man who loves women will continue to love them. Now she’s with a man who loves her completely.

  27. As a man, Cap/Gemini, who really likes women, I like all of them who are at least moderately friendly. I hug a lot of women that I am strictly friends with, and very much enjoy it. Girls from 3 to 93 bring a smile to my face, if I perceive they are not unfriendly, and sometimes if they are. And I treat them all as equals and in a kind manner. I still love women I broke up with years ago, and have done favors for them without scruple. So I advise checking how a male treats women and girls in general, because it is going to be a dead giveaway, rather than just how he treats you.

  28. I don’t know if a mans relationship with his mother would suffice in all sense to understand if he will treat a women with outmost affection.
    If I take my own example I lived all my life without my moms support or dad. So I don’t have much attachment with her. This doesn’t make one change my behaviour to women. Although I am a buy shy to approach them initially.

  29. I haven’t met that many of them, but they are usually evident to me from their sour expression and uncomfortable posture in my presence. By the way, some lesbians like men and boys, just not romantic about it.

  30. Having read this thread, I don’t think there’s any way a man could answer anymore without incriminating himself. I’m sure my gruesome aspects have also been dealt with in such depth that there’s no point repeating the obvious. However, I do believe I have new angle to contribute…

    You know, I’ve run into some charts every now and then that seem to display nothing but the greatest potential in dealing with the opposite sex. Imagine a man with a Leo Mars on Regulus, trine to a 1 Taurus Venus, trine to a Late Sag Moon. No hard aspects to any of these objects, of course. I’m sure you can imagine him as a very handsome guy, who probably gets along with women in a very natural way. He has no trouble attracting women and he approaches them with ease. He treats his mother like she’s the Holy Virgin or something. In spite of all his excellent aspects, something is always going wrong in his relationships. Nothing seems to last. OK, the ease of finding new partners may be a bit of a problem. If anything goes wrong with his current partner, he doesn’t need to make adjustments, he just chooses one of the numerous GF candidates camped outside. He doesn’t need to learn new tricks in bed, he doesn’t need to listen to what his GF has to say, he doesn’t need to compromise or negotiate, he doesn’t have to develop a character. He just has to look handsome and be his smooth self. The lack of hard aspects can actually make him a very dull boy, lacking any real content. Still, he’ll keep attracting an endless stream of partners and nobody can say he doesn’t like women or that he has issues with the opposite sex. Since there’s no real incentive for self improvement, this can go on till he dies.

    I think a lot of people are familiar with the above type of guy. Yes, of course it’s possible to become a monster by having lots of hard aspects to your Venus and Moon, but energies do work both ways. The victim and the perp can be born the same day and hour, with the same aspects, yet with completely different lives. How you make your aspects work for you, if at all, is determined by more than the aspect alone. A Moon with benign aspects only, can be used to serve personal needs exclusively, or the needs of others, but so can a Moon with nothing but squares, thanks to free choice. Venus with trines only can be a devastating weapon of mass destruction in the hands of an unscrupulous charmer. Since he’s such a charmer, his victims will probably thank him for the honor of being deceived and ask for seconds. They might even pay for the privilege.

    In other words, aspects can tell you if there’s stress in one area or another, but they say nothing about how that stress is dealt with. Only if you know for certain that the person is highly primitive, can you expect hard aspects to mostly manifest negatively. Even then, the obvious manifestations may not be as obvious as you think.

  31. Like others have said above, when a man or woman just generalise the whole opposite sex at every opportunity they get. There isn’t no thinking about it with these people, its just ‘gut like reactions’ to any situation. They feel this need to be above someone or something so just constantly say things in such a fashion that maybe subtle or just right in your face.

    I was seeing this guy and he just kept saying things about women. When I got to the point where I was so pissed about hearing how ‘women are angry’ and ‘women are this’, I confronted them as to why they keep saying it?! Their response was women ARE like that! Really?! *rolls eyes*. Its more because women do things to them that doesn’t suit themselves, they wanted to argue the point but I didn’t want to hear it. The final straw came when they labelled this young girl (about 8-11 years old) when ‘playing’ with her as she had Β£1 and didn’t want to want to swap it for 20p with him. He said to her ‘yeah you’re just gonna grow up like all other women’. *shake my head*.

    This is the same person who behaves in a manner towards women as though he ‘cares’ but doesn’t as long as he gets what he wants. Always around women but labels them. Talking about ‘I love women’. They don’t and its obvious.

  32. I think disrespecting women is a clear sign and visa versa. My mom was a Scorpio Moon with Mars in Taurus and though she put men on pedestals, she would just as easily knock them off if she felt like it. She would say how much she liked so and so but would challenge them in conversations. She did this to my dad too and I learned from her. Soon most men I meet will walk away and I won’t understand why. I have Moon in Virgo and Venus in Capricorn, which sounds cold, but all I want is a loving, warm, joyful relationship. My ex husband thinks I have issues with men, and knows my mom did by observation.

    Men who physically harm women are a red flag for sure. That might be a Moon / Mars thing?

  33. By observing. Even someone raising their hand to hit you but not hitting can be a sign of future physical violence. I would say pay attention to how a guy speaks about ALL the people in his life, (not only) his mother, but also his friends or a close girl friend if that’s the case, a random cashier, a lady asking for direction, distant relatives, female work colleagues, and so on. The guy that oh, treats me so nicely but is nasty to everyone else, yea. I knew someone who on the surface was nice and minded his business until he opened his mouth without even blinking saying his mother is a whore, all women are whores and it came out of nowhere, it was certainly not on the topic discussed. People like these would reveal themselves on their own, just give them time. If they do. (If they are not master manipulators knowing the dead giveaways).

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